Old thread here.
worse we're like Plonky on the timings - we keep mealtimes and milktimes separate. I spotted something in Evil Baby Whisperer that suggested around this age milk should be at the time you'd give a snack. Thinking about it, that's pretty much what we do - milk at the crack of dawn, 11am, 3pm and bedtime, food at 9am, 1pm and 5pm. It seems to work, and Fartypants is definitely in the process of reducing milk herself. Those middle two feeds, she's having about four ounces now.
How is the worselet on mush? Does she show any preferences? If we were sticking with baby led weaning we'd be getting absolutely nowhere. Savoury mushes, she'll try a mouthful then get distracted by the cat. Fruit mushes, she practically inhales. For a reduced stress option, can I suggest getting yourself to Asda? They've a hell of a range of cheap fruity mushes, and then at least you're not having to throw away purees you've spent hours lovingly creating.
Incidentally, six month old Molly may love her porridge, but all that means is that Molly's a total weirdo - porridge is vile. It's weetabix all the way round here, with mashed banana in.
eco hang in there, it does get better. How long until 37 weeks for you?
I am thanking my heathen gods we don't have crawling yet. Nappy changes with rolling are bad enough. Especially when it's a particularly horrific one.
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March 2013 - time to wrap them all up in tinsel
StormyBrid · 04/12/2013 11:21
Just caught up. Plonky I don't know what to say except finding done time out of the house together, even for an hour, may help to clear your minds?
Sorry, possibly crap advice. Can the PILs babysit for an hour so you can talk at the pub or something?
Re: food battles, can't help there either I'm afraid (not doing well today!) as DD eats tons and everything going. We basically feed her what we're having - which is probably why she's jumped from her pre-weaning line just above the 50th centile to between 75th and 91st 
Back down to London on the train at the moment. It's been once a week since I went back and it's knackering me. I have so much to do work and home-wise (don't mention Christmas and DS's 5th birthday on the 30th). I need some time off without the DCs to catch up!
Unmumsnetty hugs to those who are having work issues. IME it's far worse when your boss doesn't have children or they're v grown up :(
Ok Plonk deep breath, you'll get through this.
Looking in from the outside what I see is a couple who are facing many life changes all at once at a time when they are both tired and stressed. You have a young baby, are planning a wedding, saving for a house, and changing your job. On top of that you are sleep deprived and really quite unwell. It's little wonder your relationship is being stretched at the seams. Anyone's would be. Totally normal. Any big life change puts a strain on things at homes and you've got several going on all at once.
So you've done the hard part and written that letter. Now do the easy part, write a letter of all the things you love about him, and all your happiest memories together. Remember the old cliche 'you don't know what you got until its gone', well it may be a cliche but it's true. If you guys broke up what would you miss? If you can't think of anything, well that in itself would be fairly telling.
Once you've done all that, with any luck you will be feeling a little more centred and better able to talk. When are partners piss us off it can be all to easy to fixate on the little things at the expense of the big. No one is perfect, all of us have less than desirable habits, and the secret to living together is accepting that. That's not to say you have to put up with being unhappy, you don't, but don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things 
.
Finally, talk. Tell him what the problem is but try not to do it in an accusatory way, or turn it into a long list of all his faults. Think of an appraisal at work. If a manager gives you one area to work on you'd feel a little prickly but probably work on it. If they went through 3 pages of areas to improve on you'd probably stop listening, go and cry in the loo and hand in your notice. Well I would. Your DP is no different to any one else.
The one thing I've learnt the hard way, always give your partner a hug when they get in, say sorry when you know you have been a little in the wrong, tell them you love them, and thank them for doing things. It sounds a little Stepford, but actually it's just kindness, and kindness breeds kindness. I lived most of my marriage in a bitter simmering pool of resentment. Now we are both kind to each other. It is a much better atmosphere.
Good luck, I hope you guys talk it out. I don't doubt you will, but that said never settle. If you are really unhappy never settle. 40 odd years is a long time to be miserable.
Plonky you stand out on here as someone with a kind heart and a great sense of humour, and your DP is with you for whole load of other reasons as well. He loves you, he had a child with you, and he wants to marry you. Don't for one minute think he is too good for you, that is rubbish. Do you remember the day you had ds? I can imagine you do. Well your DP watched you go through one of the most painful, frightening but amazing experiences to have his child. If he is anything like my DH he is probably a little in awe of your strength.
Have good cry and let it all out, then maybe phone a friend. My friends got me through some pretty tough times, and I'm not even particularly sociable.
And you have us. I'm sure between us we could cobble together some good poo stories and make you laugh .
Stormy's right Plonky. Nothing wrong with text. I use email a lot myself, being far more articulate on the page than face to face, especially when emotions are involved. Hope you've had a good day despite everything and are feeling more on top of things.
Poo stories, well mine dates back to week 2, when neither DH nor I had a clue what we were doing. Not that we have now... but I digress. Anyway, he was at the action end, I was by the side, dd let rip and fired a high velocity stream of poo straight at DH. He leapt aside, not quite fast enough to escape a direct hit, but in time to allow the residual to spray a 6ft range across the room. Then the door bell rang, and the midwife appeared to do the our 10 day check.
Her precise words were;
'So, how are you guys doing?...... Oh.......'
Yes yummy I think I've just piled more stress on to keep me going in a way, I use to thrive on stress. Can't say I've ever sat in the back with DS though 
extra bad mummy points.
Stormy texts are like letters I suppose. It's harder than talking, but at least you can say what you want without distraction or interruption. Some of what I said seems to have landed with him at least.
So it's just a virus. And pnd.
When you're very emotional writing can be helpful cos it stops the communication being interrupted by the sobbing and in my case snot
Sorry you're having a rubbish time at the mo plonky, but don't be afraid to ask for help (baby sitting etc) and be gentle with yourself. We're none of us perfect and all could do better in some areas I'm sure but you are witty and cheerful and spirited on here in a way which is a joy to read. I'm sure these are things your dp loves, even if they've got buried in the nappy bucket by life at the moment. Hang in there, have the first conversation, and don't put yourself down too hard. 
Plonky so glad you made it to the doctor. It helps to have a reason for feeling low, and we're all here any time you want to off load 
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Looking forward to that cake, Plonky. 
. Hope you're feeling a bit better today.
worse I don't know how you cope. Five hours awake in the middle of the night sounds hellish.
Strange night here. DD was grumpy and sleep resistant yesterday so she went to bed at quarter past six. No crying, but every half hour we'd hear a little whimper. At ten the man took her some milk and calpol, and said she's a bit snotty. Haven't heard a peep out of her since. Scared to go and check on her just in case something dreadful's happened.
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