March 2013 - 6 months down, 210 to go!

[StormyBrid]

Old thread.

Keep on rambling, ladies, we have a whole new thread to fill!

Hello everyone. What a lovely day it has been in the east. Tooth achingly cold but gorgeous. A friend and I headed to the woods and the colours of the beech trees were delicious. I felt I deserved this nice expedition because by 0930 baby was milked, washed, dressed and breakfasted, the washing was on the line, the dinner was in the slow cooker, baby lunch and my picnic were prepared and the bags were packed I am now worn out
Ecobaby is having the delightful stage that several of you reported prior to the evil 37 week ww. I shall make the most of it until the nap/food/cooperation refusal begins.

Rainbow I haven't got the mooncup yet but I should because it's been 2 weeks of bleeding post-coil and it is expensive but I will. I know I need size A. I was put off by how huge they look, but after your encouragement and with the words of the coil doctor ringing in my ears I shall take the plunge
Worse your babysitter sounds really perfect! Grab her, schmooze her and introduce her to worselet. Cosy evenings eating lovely food next to the fire in the pub beckon!
Plonky, maybe you had illness and ww combined? If that's the case then the sleep will hopefully just keep getting better and better. Glad the smear was fine. Wizards sleeve?? And Rutland is closer yes. I am slowly stalking you!
Something are you still night feeding? Do you have any idea when next growth spurts are or do they come at different times for different babies? Ecobaby has been doing the midnight distress too and I wonder if she's hungry.
Any lots of lovely things your way. That sounds hard. Wise Worse is right about the talking. Have you got anywhere? How has today been? How are you feeling?
Gerry if/when I meet you I'll show you my strict face it you show me yours! So pleased that your first day back felt good. You are evidently a great and inspiring teacher with all of that enthusiasm you have in a difficult profession. Respect.

Ah! Baby needs milk. Happy evening everyone.

Plonk according to my 2am Google research, it did seem like night terrors. I hope it doesn't become a regular occurance!

eco we haven't night fed for a while. He didn't seem hungry, just really sad which in turn made me really sad kudos to you on the super efficient morning! I barely made it out of the house in time for my incredibly important appointment...to get my nails done! Also, yey for moving closer!

worse the babysitter sounds lovely. So glad you found someone you like!

I've had a pretty rubbish day today. DS has been lovely, but my work have royally pissed me off. From saying that I could work reduced hours and do 4 days a week, they're now saying that it's not possible, and in fact they now even want me to work Sundays, which is new. Their reason being - they can't possibly cover my shifts if I work 9 hours less a week. Which is surprising considering how they've managed for the past 9 months without taking on anyone new...

Thanks for all the support chaps . DD and I had a good day, despite her being a snot filled mess, so I felt much brighter. When DH got home. I asked how his day was and he was quite bright too. He played with her for a bit then I did her dinner then I asked if he'd do the bath, which he did. Very much back to normal until DD suddenly got a temperature and started crying every time she was put in her cot. By 9pm we were sufficiently worried that she just wouldn't settle that we took a trip to the out of hours GP. She confirmed it was a virusy cold and to come back if her temp stayed high (it was on the way down by 10pm). She's asleep now but DH was happy to be there despite another 5am start tomorrow. I hugged him and thanked him for being there and I think it's all blown over. We were both having a bad day yesterday but we obviously like each other better when other cr*p doesn't ruin our days

Will catch up later as its breakfast time, just wanted to say WAHEY Stormy you live in the city of culture! That'll be awesome for dd.

Good God, really? Did the people making the final decision ever actually visit Hull?

PIL rant alert!

DH has gone to play golf with school friends. I had to persuade him to go as he sees them very rarely and I knew he'd love it. I'm now regretting this moment of madness kindness. So far both PILs only speak to DD, not to me directly (think 'does your mummy think you'd rather be on the floor'), a visitor came to the house and MIL introduced me as DD's Mother (not her DIL or sons wife) and they've just made themselves lunch and not offered me any. Lovely. Now MIL is taking DD to see her great granny as she wants to spend a bit of Granny time with her. I've taken myself off to bed with a bar of chocolate I had in my suitcase. Roll on tomorrow when we hit the road home.

Betty They what????? That's taking rude to a whole new level. Your DH needs to step up and tell them to get over themselves and act like civilised grown ups.

My day so far. Not as bad, but not particularly good. Decided after a bad night (that involved much pacing and even a night feed) to take myself and the tiddler out for a restorative walk. Picked up shed keys instead of house keys on the way out.... and lockied myself out without phone, money, baby food or nappies. Given the security on this house rivals that of Fort Knox gave up on the idea of smashing a window.

Fortunately the neighbour who rescues me every time I have a crisis, has a spare set, and was in, so I did get the keys, but I didn't get a walk, as by the time we'd finished chatting it was lunchtime and the worselet was beside herself from lack of sleep. Being over tired she threw her lunch at me, so I heated some milk. Apparently I heated it too much. So she threw that at me as well.

It has taken until now, and a more successful walk to get us all back onto equilbruim, although we have now missed this month's baby clinic as there was no way I was even going to think about waking her up and stripping her down for a weigh in, let alone actually attempt it. Another mark in the bad mother book there then

Further bad mother points could be awarded for the fact dd is currently asleep in her pram in the hall with her hat right down over her eyes almost to the end of her nose. Hey ho, tomorrow is another day!

How's everyone else doing? Anyone had a super efficient organised day like eco managed? Please say no, so I can feel good about myself

Crap day here, worse. Baby not exactly down with this whole sleeping malarkey, man in an arse, me wondering how to sit him down and talk to him about how things are between us at the moment given that he never bloody talks.

You've reminded me though, I must get spare keys cut. My brother and the woman at number three still have keys to my old house (not that the current tenants know that...) but I still haven't sorted them out with keys to the new house.

Stormy I reckon you're in that phase I was in when I shut myself in the pantry. The sleep thing improves again, I promise.

I think it takes a while to adjust to the new dynamic of a baby in the house, and whilst women largely just get on with it, men have more scope to escape from everything and be a bit selfish. Equality? I think not...

Bloody hell Wors, I've been totting up bad mummy points this whole time without realising! That's how madam naps every day! Must get better.

DH is back now and the cousins have descended and are very upset that madam can't stand up on her own. Apparently we're also off out to see DHs sister that hasn't spoken to us since DD was 2 weeks old later before dinner. The fun never stops. Roll on tomorrow. P.S I'm starving!

Stormy, good luck with 'the chat'. I've got a non talker too. It's like getting blood out of a stone!

betty that is the most incredible rudeness! You are very strong for putting up with it! I personally wouldn't do then the honour of spending time with your DD!

any glad you and your DP have patched things up and hope your DD is feeling better.

Thanks rainbow

worse our day was a bit pants too. DD spent all night groaning in her sleep so every time I got up to check she just rolled over and kept quiet. Fun night. Since then, she's decided not to sleep flat (because of her cough) so no naps today except in the car for 20 mins this morning, on me during/after a feed for 10 minutes and is now asleep in her car seat in her room since 5pm as i'm afraid to wake her. I hope she wakes soon or dinner and bath will be really late and she may not go back to sleep again...

I know the sleep will improve, even if it feels like it'll last an eternity. I'm worried that we won't see any improvement in the man's ability to at least pretend he wants to interact with his own child. I appreciate that it's bloody tedious (and hell on the spine) having to spend half the day walking round the house with her, but walking is the most important and exciting thing in her life right now, and she needs to practice it. He's having trouble seeing that. Also having trouble seeing that she needs interaction, she needs him to play with her and talk to her, not just sit her on his knee and keep watching the telly. As for me, I'm just sick and bloody tired of having to ask him to do things. He'll take no initiative whatsoever with her or with anything round the house. He can't even offer an opinion on what we might have for tea. And I've been asking him for weeks to clear his biscuit crumbs off the top of my wool box and he still hasn't done it, although he has added to the heap. Sounds petty, but argh.

Stormy it's cack isn't it. DH has really stepped up recently but he has massive phases of the same and I get so angry that he can't see what is so obvious to me about DD and what needs doing and also about the house. When I'm less angry I realise that he just doesn't see it and needs a subtle persuasive nudge to keep the cogs turning & as he nudges me to remember other vital things in life it is maybe more even than I realise sometimes. Doesn't make it any less frustrating at the time though!

This evening I have discovered that parenthood had made me soft. After a day of chewing my finger yesterday and a bad night last night there's 2 razor sharp bits of tooth protruding through the bottom of her gum. I wasn't predicting feeling like this but it's made me feel really sad, I love her gummy smile and I don't want it polluted! How pathetic am I! My old colleagues wouldn't recognise me because I've earned a reputation of being hard as nails that I'm slowly but surely realising I'll never have again

Yay for teeth, Betty. Although less yay when boob chewing starts. Those teeth are painful enough on a finger, I dread to think what they'd be like on a nipple.

I told him we need to talk. He's gone upstairs for a lie down. Not impressed. Also bloody hungry, because I couldn't be arsed to try to cook while entertaining DD and it never occurs to him to say things like "You entertain her, I'll cook?" And I'm sick of being the one who negotiates who does what. Especially when he's going to be so useless when he's on entertainment duty. Nor did it occur to him that the basket of washing is at the bottom of the stairs for a reason and perhaps he could have taken it up with him and sorted it out. And he's left his boots in the middle of the living room floor. And the biscuit crumbs are still there. I told him yesterday, "You do realise I'm going to be citing those crumbs in the divorce in twenty years, right?" and he still won't clear them up.

Stormy it doesn't sound petty. For petty see my most recent facebook status update With regards the lack of interaction with dd might he respond to research that shows babies need talking otherwise speech can be delayed or babies need walking otherwise the frustration leads to poor sleep or whatever research backs up your point? He also wants more kids doesn't he so maybe that could be used in your discussions. Jobs and dinner wise we have had the same in the past and some robust conversations helped, as did problem solving together. For us meal planning based on our commitments for the week ahead has helped so on days where I don't have dh in evening we get the slow cooker on together in the morning, or when we both busy we use freezer stuff. We also agreed a way forward with house stuff and part of that is dh's agreement that yes, he doesn't notice the laundry basket but that yes, it's ok for me to remind/ask him. How would that arrangement roll with your dp?
Worse yesterday's wonder woman morning was remarkable in its rarity! It's not usual. But it felt good and meant my strange brain was at ease with buggering off to the woods for the day and slumping in front of grand designs during Ecobaby's late afternoon nap. I'm sorry if I sounded like a boastful wally. In this strange new baby world even the most basic achievements are victories! Glad you eventually got a walk and that your neighbours saved you. The shed could have been a fun alternative though? :)
Betty. Really! What are they thinking? NOt sure how best to deal with that. BE a considerate host when they come to you, as I'm sure you always are, show them how it's done and put faith in karma would be my approach. And getting it all off my chest to dh so that he actually did something. Home tomorrow is it?
Any it is only recently that I have stopped being scared of Dd. It's strange how your heart lurches when they wake at a strange time, don't want milk or refuse to nap. THese events made me so anxious until recently. NOt sure why things have changed but it has. I hope you did wake her and that it was alright? I think sometimes we expect babies to be thrown off course by something when actually they are robust enough to take it in their stride? Hoping you have a better night and some
Rainbow I bought my mooncup. THanks for the prod! It felt rebellious purchasing an eco friendly product from evil amazon
Today we had some nap refusal, short power naps here too. We made it to presma which I actually really enjoy although they did some crazy marching to music that may or may not feature in the great escape, or some other was film (the one whose tune is used for the classic 'Hitler he only had one ball' song) which had me a pelvic squeeze away from wet knickers such was its oddNess. We also had a lovely squelchy walk and took some lame selfies to remember it by. Heard on radio that selfie is now in oxford dictionary so felt I ought to test it out. Wwe also lowered the cot mattress today as it's not going to be long before Ecobaby canlaunch out of it. Whilst dh bathed the baby I planned the Christmas shopping as I have a morning to myself tomorrow so I'm heading to city buggy free. MAybe with a non maternity bra on too. ROck and roll.

betty yay for teeth and just to reassure you that DD has had teeth for a while now and has not once tried to chomp on my while breastfeeding. It might be that the bottom teeth with come through are completely covered by her tongue when she forms the vacuum but she hasn't clamped at all even while teething when everything else was being chewed.

eco well done for sorting the mooncup. Still really loving mine and no leaks yet at all (whereas I usually had quite a few with tampons). Had some slight issues with discomfort with the stem but as soon as I felt brave enough I totally chopped it off and it's much more comfy now.

stormy sorry about your troubles with DP. Don't know what to suggest with the not playing with DD - maybe just point out how much he is missing from the amazing interactions our little ones are displaying at this age? As for the cleaning and cooking, personally I would stop doing anything for him at all and just take care of you and DD. But that's just me - I have always been very careful and wary of setting any precedents or expectation that I should do an unequal share of anything.

eco I saw that status and found myself nodding along, although in this house it's not shirt sleeves, it's socks. They don't get clean if you leave them all scrunched up in a ball, and then you straighten them out and they're still stinky and crusty. It is proper minging.

Unfortunately the prospect of future kids is not likely to help matters, as it's me that wants more, not him. I'm still in two minds at the moment because it is bloody hard work, and also because I get the distinct impression that, while he loves DD, he resents the changes she's brought to our lives. If he wants to sit around all day playing guitar and eating biscuits while surrounded by squalor, that's fine, but he can't do it here, with us. If we did have another kid, it's in the back of my mind that it would be pure selfishness on my part, and it would probably break us. But I really don't want DD to be an only child, because a) siblings are awesome and b) there's a fifty fifty chance I'll develop the same illness my mother has, and I can't bear the thought of her having to deal with that alone.

Definitely wonder week here , also lower front 1st 2 teeth have broken through , he's also very snotty , aww my poor wee mini farmer .

Stormy would you send me a message so i can give you my facebook name please , thanks .

Eco fear not. I left her for a bit longer and she woke herself up to have an clearout. Seemed to help matters though as after some dinner (with calpol for dessert) she went straight off to skeep at 7.45. Fingers crossed she's more comfortable tonight.
stormy I feel glad that it's not just me with the selfish DH but sad that you have to put up with it too. Laundry basket? Check. Biscuit crumbs? Check (although it's actually dirty spoons...) Spontaneous bouts of 'let me do that'? Nope. I have to accept the things I cannot change but by golly i'm going to keep trying if I think I can. Talking is the answer but sometimes it feels like you're talking another language

Any I fully agree that talking is the way to go. But how do you talk with someone who doesn't talk back?

Messaged you, christi.

Yes, mine's a bit backward in the speech department. I find starting off with something mundane like 'how was your day?' or 'what would you say to going to the pub later?' starts off what can then become a chance to get a few things off your chest. What is the wool box you speak of? Can you move it and replace it with a note that says 'please leave your biscuits here (not just the crumbs) so we don't have to go looking for them. With love, The Mice x'

Stormy What is it about DP that you love? What does he do that you really appreciate? Don't tell us though, tell him. If you need to have a serious conversation with someone it really helps if you have made them feel good about themselves recently.

Secondly a bit of advice my mother gave me when I first married, and I of course ignored pick your arguments. Go through the list of problems and delete those which aren't worth a fight. I'd say the crumbs myself. They are annoying, but not major. Highlight the things that really matter. Then sit down and have The Talk about one or two major things, and try not to throw a whole load of other stuff in at the same time. He's human. People shut off when they hear a long list of their failings. One issue, they'll probably listen. Two at a push. More than that and you become 'a nag' and they no longer care.

Good luck!

I for one hope you never experience the illness you mention. Keep well Stormy 'cos we need you too

Eco your lovely posts shame us all. Enjoy your buggy free nice bra day out.

Time to crash here, and hope for a wake free night. I have little faith....

Plonky? Plonky? Plonky? Was breakfast really really good and you've been in a cosy hibernation state since? Or are you dealing with bankruptcy with all of the bills your prospective wedding guests have passed onto you following stamp-gate? Or have you been meeting Vince cable about your new business idea and its finances? Hope you are just happily getting on with real life ;)
Night everyone. May the babes sleep....well....like babies.

Well, we've just had our eight month check with the health visitor. Development all going fine. We have almost seventeen pounds of baby! She's obviously taking after her dad, because she's 25th centile for weight and 75th for height. Going to have to go see the doctor though - thigh creases don't match up so she needs her hips checking, and it seems her bottom ribs are unusually prominent so they need checking out too.

Been having a good think, worse. You're right, crumbs are not something to have a major falling out over. I think my main issues are a) lack of communication and b) the visible resentment. I'll try to talk to him this evening and see how it goes.

Any the wool box is my great big box full of a million balls of wool. Not that DD gives me much time for crochet these days. And I'm not very good, all I can manage is blankets. Have to keep the wool in a box though. The cats think it's all there for their amusement. Their bouts of violent insanity drive me demented enough without throwing wool into the mix!