March 2013 - 6 months down, 210 to go!

[StormyBrid]

Old thread.

Keep on rambling, ladies, we have a whole new thread to fill!

To add, it's quite clear she wants more time with DS. They live two hours away so I continually offer to meet her for lunch halfway. Apparently she doesn't know the road so refuses to drive it, but fully accepts its a bit much for me to do in one day on my own with DS.

I actually can't please the woman.

Oh plonky - it doesn't matter what you do, it'll never be right. The relationship between the MIL and DIL is a funny one as i'm pretty sure my Mum doesn't care if she speaks to my DH from one week to the next.

Yep, my relationship with MIL is strained at best. She's a control freak that can't accept that her DS can survive without her interference help. She once told me she thought it would be best if we didn't have a baby as we both care too much about our jobs so aren't the type, she also told me DH is secretly controlling me without me realising anyone that knows us would piss themselves at that one and she's a classic passive aggressive. Nothing we do will ever be good enough because we don't live around the corner and request her input in all areas of our lives. Lets just say I'm very glad they live a good distance away!

Blimey you lot have some great MIL AIBU threads in that lot!

I never got to meet my MIL as she passed away enforce DH and I started seeing each other. I'm always conscious I my DPs relationship with DH though and she doesn't get on at all with my SIL (but then neither do I and that's a whole other thread).

DD slept till 5:30 without a murmur! :)

*before

Ah im not going to repeat what my mil is like, i complained all the time whilst she was here in the summer. In summary shes lazy, money grabbing and treats dh like s*. Im lucky she lives abroad. I think some mils see dils a threat and maybe they are jealous another woman is in their life. Thats my opinion though. I wonder what kind of mil i will be one day. Dh thinks my mum can be interfering and treats my db as a pfb. Hes right but i let it go over my head because ive grown up with it and hes still relatively new to it all.

We had 10pm, 2am, 3.30 and 5am wake ups. I couldnt sleep past 2am. Yawn.

I think the mains difference with my MIL is that the man didn't speak to her for twenty years. Because of me, she got her son back, and got a granddaughter too. Also his previous long term partner was a total psycho and she may be worried I'll turn out to be one too!

My mil is lovely. She's late 80s and lives on the other side of the country sadly, so it's hard to see her as frequently as we'd like.

I am completely broken. I never thought DDs sleep would get worse, I was waiting for it to get better. 8 wakes from 8-1 then I brought her into bed because I was alone, shattered & starting to struggle & get upset. I'm not sure I can keep doing this.

Sorry, that was a selfish whingy post. Just need to pull myself together & get some caffeine into me.

Send some coffee to Vegas soyo! The last day or so has broken me and it's a one off for us really. You'll keep going and dd will, suddenly probably, get the hang of sleeping. Be gentle to yourself today.
Arrived in Vegas here. Dd awake. We both broken. Dh cuddling. Matchstick eyes! For anyone travelling long haul I Have advice. Make your hand luggage packing easier: don't pack mp3 player, tablet with film books, magazines, sudoko book or eye mask. YOu will not need them. At any point in your journey!
;)

Oh Soyo, that sounds so hard. It's not selfish whinging when you're having a really tricky time, esp when you're all on your own and can't get a break. Big hugs, and .

And I'm sorry if I missed it but hope your meeting went well too.

SoYo you're amazing, just remember that. You have a wonderful happy little balanced baby, because despite all the stress she puts you through you are always there for her with love and cuddles. A mum in a million.

Eco, you mad mare . Mad but inspirational! I am so jealous. DH has a nervous turn if I suggest I might like to jump on the train and take the tiddler up to London for the day. I may have to mention that some people manage to fly long haul, and do road trips. I may not mention the bit about it breaking you though . Have a ball, and live it up for the rest of us.

MILs, ah well I have a lovely one. That's not all good though, as in a way she is too lovely. Her family walk all over her which makes me a bit mad on her behalf. It also makes me a bit mad on all us married ins behalf, as her kids have gone out into the world with a view that they are very much the centre of the universe and others were put in it to wait on them. Any deviation from this pathway is seen as extreme insubordination. If there is one thing I will do it is teach the worselet that although sweet, she's not a princess and being helpful and hard working is an essential part of family life.

Not much else to report what with snot and teeth holding us back. DH is still jurying, which I can report is an utter waste of time. The court cancels more than it sits, and everyone is getting more than a little pi55ed off. I hope I don't get called up any time soon.

Big hugs to all sick babies, and a wave to VJ before she sets off on her hols.

Hope you're feeling a bit better with caffeine in you, SoYo. I know it seems impossible, especially in the small hours, but you can do it. You're an inspiration to us all.

Am adding to the list of Things DD Does Not Like (as evidenced by wobbly lip followed by crying meltdown):
David Cameron;
Hoovers;
Twinkle twinkle;
Waybuloo, but only when one of them is playing the flute.
Strange creatures, these babies!

David Cameron I also Do Not Like so I'm with your DD! (Sorry, must keep politics out of post natal thread... )

SoYo if DD cries tonight - this may be controversial - check she's okay and then leave her. At least for 10 mins. If you're on your own and she's waking that much you just need to sleep. Although I know it's bloody hard to sleep when you're just waiting for DD to wake up again (as my DD did after I settled her at 5:30 - she was awake at 5:55 for a feed. I knew it wouldn't last long).

Remind me if your OH is around at the moment? If not, can you get anyone else to come and stay for the night? You need a break and if he is at home he really needs to help else the sleep deprivation is going to get worse for you and that will make everything seem a million times worse. But I may be talking way out of line so ignore me if so :(

DD must be going through a growth spurt too as she is devouring food and I have to keep thinking of extra we can give her when she's still demanding mor at meal times. Half a roughly mashed banana usually does the trick. She had a big portion of my sausage & spinach pasta bake tonight and we don't bother to purée anything, it's just in tiny small pieces, as small as you can cut with a blunt plastic weaning spoon! But she is having half finger foods and half spoon fed at nearly every meal so I'm glad we've skipped 'stage one' and nearly 'stage two' (ie small lumps).

Good sleep for all tonight...

soyo I am broken too - sleep deprivation is just awful here also. DD sleeps beautifully in the evenings then it all goes downhill from 9pm onwards. Don't really know what to do to fix it! DD is still up after 3 and a half hours of fussing tonight and DH has just taken over but unfortunately I am too wired at the hopeless situation to get any proper rest and I can still hear her moaning. Might as well go back and help him!

Interesting on all MIL related feedback. Sadly I think it's likely that our formerly chummy relationship has turned a corner into something more cordial.

SoYo I think you're a brilliant mummy. You've got so much patience, and anyone who can survive 7 months of crap sleep is a hero. One bad night here and I'm useless. Maybe wing has a point though? I know it's controversial but we did it and it worked. He still wakes periodically for comfort but on the whole goes through. She may well grow out if it but that could mean a lot more patience and broken sleep on your part.

Wing when I last saw something she was breaking up banana in her fingers and just popping it in her (very hungry) ds's mouth. I was amazed! And it works. DS ate an ole narna yesterday after rejecting his milk. Shortly followed by a whole Ella's pouch. He seems to only want milk at morning and night really!

I feel absolutely bushed today. Needless to say I didn't get my tattoo yesterday (Grumpy Plonky) but I did get caught in the torrential rain in Nottingham on foot aaaaall morning. Will try again next week!

Hard to know what to suggest to make these babies sleep better. Could be worth asking on the sleep board, but I suspect there are only two options: ride it out and go mad in the process; or some form of sleep training. That doesn't have to mean controlled crying though. Rainbow, you say she's been awake for over three hours, has DH been in there with her throughout?

We weighed DD last night, using the traditional method of standing on the scales with and without the baby. She's up to eighteen pounds, which is cool. And the man is eight stone lighter than me with clothes on. Less cool.

V v quick as I need to get DS to school. I wasn't suggested controlled crying as such (I would do but I know SoYo said upthread she didn't want to), it was more the advice you see given to new mums when a baby has colic and won't stop crying. If you are at your wits end and it's upsetting you, check the baby is okay and just leave them for a bit while you try to collect your thoughts. I think in the day time they'd say go outside for a while but that's not as easy at night.

Must dash. Going to try baby signing today. Did it with DS and he loved it.

I know you weren't suggesting cc, Wing, don't worry. Was also just remembering SoYo's not down with that idea.

Ah me in my sleep deprived state. Apologies.

Someone else who has a March baby but doesn't hang out here has just posted in the sleep section. Someone's posted a link that may be useful, here. Will ignore the poster saying "Just leave them to it, I left all my babies and they slept through" because that's totally unhelpful. One person mentions accidentally overstimulating at night though, which could be worth looking at - Rainbow, that's why I wondered whether you or your DH had been in with DD for all those long hours of fussing. It could be that she's getting the idea that when she goes to bed it's just for a nap, and then it's playtime again.

Plonky a whole banana? Bloody hell. DD mauls one small bite then gives up.

Yep, Stormy, a whole banana. He often rejects spoons but is quite happy for me to pop bits of banana in his mouth.

Overstimulation is so difficult. Until 4 months DS was great at self settling, then we had to a bit more jiggling and soothing noises. Now he will not be jiggled or soothed in any way, and does archy back and lots of shouting. We have to leave him to it because he gets more distressed if we don't. This does mean more dummy returns but it's the only way.

Considering writing a book in the style of AIBU. It'd be called Letters to My MIL. Just need a good pseudonym.

Morning all, thanks for the suggestions. Don't worry if they're not things I'm not down with, I'm not easily offended .

I've decided that after I give her the bedtime feed then DH has got to go in to her until midnight (he's off nights again now) and then I'll go after. I'm hoping that once she realises she doesn't get milky mummy every time she whinges she'll give it up a bit. Last night he was in every hour then I fed her at midnight, 3.45 and then brought her into me at 5 so massive improvement for me and more sleep for her. I usually leave her for a few minutes before going in anyway as she sometimes used to settle herself.

The dog is walked, the baby is napping and I'm about to hit the coffee and biscuits before we give the local soft play centre a bash.

Have a good day all.

stormy we co-sleep after about midnight with DD in bedside cot so we are always there with her at night. When DD has restless sleep or wakes to play we ignore her till she cries. However she has this awful moany sound that wakes us up which comes over monitor too so having her in separate room would not help. I'm sure this is just a (very long) phase!