Hi everyone, if anyone's still reading. I hope everyone is well?
This thread fell off my list months ago.
Can you believe Alex s birthday is just over a week! 
I plucked up courage for the first time to read back our antenatal threads just now. A good cry later and hugging my babies tight, it feels like a different life, yet hearing the fear in Sams updates for you all.....my poor family. I'm not really sure I'm ever gonna enjoy christmas, that whole christmas period is obviously just a blank, there are pictures of me in Icu but for me there's nothing. I missed my poor baby s first weeks of life. Of course he doesn't care, but I do. I'm going to town with the tinsel, the lights, the presents.....I just want to overwrite them and make them better for everyone. My mum still struggles sometimes, she grabs me as if to check I'm real.
Well after my ridiculously self indulgent rant there I just want to say thanks again for all the support during that worst time, it really meant a lot.
And to update you in Alex well he's walking, talking and other than being tiny perfectly healthy, he is always hungry, always impatient desperate to do everything and know everything. He also has a vicious little temper and hero worships his brother. He loves water and his latest thing is furiously trying to 'swim' he practices even out of the water lol!
I really hope everyone is ok and all doing well. X