stunt. Your dilemma. Do you know what, I think you want to stay at home for a little bit longer. And I think you have every good reason to. Get DS 1 (. Is that right?) settled in high school and once J is a bit older and easier, then go back.
I realise I go to work, and the only reason I do is to put some money aside for my daughters, which I had agreed with my Ex H. I will obviously be leaving in August. I have loved my career and going to work, mixing with adults and using my brain, but the juggling is really hard. And like you the benefits financially are probably negative.
My mum had a really successful career in education, she was a head of a really tough inner city school and then an Ofsted Inspector. She always worked when I was growing up and she said to me when I had kids, don't ever go back full time. She regretted missing those years. It had been in my head but I haven't listened to her till now!
However I enjoyed being a latch key kid as I am a bit of a loner, but I would have liked her at home more during my secondary years. So that is what I always thought I would do, develop my career and then cut it right back when they got to high school. Luckily I have been able to do it a bit sooner.
Anyway stunt you are an extremely intelligent woman have you thought about home schooling? 