May 2013 thread our new and not so new arrivals

[BeauticianNotMagician]

Hi ladies

Just thought we could all really do with this. Rather selfish a its mostly for the thousand odd questions I have and things I'd like to share/ vent that no one else would understand.

We've all been together so long I even talk about you all to DP

Hi everyone. Theres been a misunderstanding on the previous page here - I'm not R on the FB page. I have a DS, name starts with A. R whose daughter C has been poorly has another MN moniker. But last I read on FB, C was ok, thank goodness.

We had an appointment with the BF counsellor on Thursday about getting rid of ongoing blocked ducts (loving A&E trips that take 4 hours, until 2am, for them to tell me - "there's no infection showing on the test we did on you three hours ago, it's just blocked ducts. Go home and keep doing what you're already doing". Grr). She strongly recommends we get rid of the nipple shields (we've been using almost 100% since DS was 36 hours old) as they stop the baby from emptying the breast properly, and can contribute to blocked ducts.

I also want to get rid of the shields, because they're so much faff that would be great to avoid.

So now we're trying without, and it's not fun! DS has terrible technique, which he can get away with on the shields, but without them, it hurts me! He has a really shallow latch, and trying to persuade him to take in more leads to serious screaming, so that I can't get him to latch on at all. I also have really powerful (painful) letdown, so he is not used to having to wait for his milk! I have managed to get him to take the breast without the shield after a couple of minutes with the shield to assuage his hunger, but I cant get him in a good enough position to feed without really hurting, and it hurts for ages afterwards.

I am trying without for one or two feeds a day, and using the shields the rest of the time But I guess this isn't going to help DS learn good technique, because every feed he has the shields, he can get sloppy again. (Impossible to get a deep latch with the shields on, he just slides back down again).

Anyone else in this situation or anything similar?? Any tips??

Have you tried the hamburger squashing of boob technique to encourage a deeper latch rhienne? I had to do this with DD3 to start with as she would always prefer to latch on quite shallowly.

Another thing I can think of sounds obvious but making sure you wait until baby's mouth is properly open. I sometimes have to wait a couple of minutes with this baby doing rubbish little mouth opens then finally she'll do the big gape you see on the pictures and I have to act fast!

Afraid I don't know much about weaning off the shields.

Has he been checked for tongue tie? Especially a posterior one if nothing is too obvious under there?

Re blocked ducts - have you made sure there's nothing like bras, baby's hands, your hands etc causing them?it most likely is poor milk transfer causing but best to rule out everything else too. Although I'm sure you have. FWIW when I have blocked ducts my let down is bloody painful too. It's still a very strong tingling sensation the rest of the time when not blocked but not painful at least.

Don't know if any of that helps or is all stuff you've tried but you're doing well i hve to say! Breast feeding when it's smooth running is awesome but gives you so much worry (and pain) when it's not ( speaking as the owner of boobs that seem to like the attention that mastitis, thrush and blocked ducts seem to give them!). Indeed I've woken up for this feed with a auspiciously tender part on the right side that will be the first thing on my mind when I wake up again.

Nope, it's the left side that's sore. Bloody sleep deprivation...

I'm having to constantly latch LO on and off as she tends to slide up her bottom lip as she gets tired. Meanwhile, I'm having to pin her arms out of the way whilst spraying milk all over her face. When she is on, she gulps really loud so I have to wind her part way through. Needless to say, I'm yet to go out for more than an hour because there is no way I can breastfeed in public.

:o bunny I'm the same. All of my DC have been like this to feed to start with. It does get easier (and less messy) when they're a bit bigger.

You could just say bollcks to it and go out anyway? Not that I'm great at taking my own advice. Not a fan of flashing in public even if it's to feed a baby but that's my own issues I think. I doubt anyone really cares enough to stand and stare and see it all!

Thanks Terra. Just have to figure out the whole "shape your breast" vs "dont move breast to baby, move baby to breast". Feels like I get the nipple too far to one side when I try to shape it, so when I let go, DS is not in the right place. Sigh.

Have managed shield free on the left for a couple of feeds now. Figured I might be able to take the pain if it's only one side. Still have to work on our technique, and hope my nipples get less sensitive soon. Then we can look into if I need to start block feeding to ease the letdown.

Terra - have you tried heat on the tender part before a feed, to encourage emptying the ducts there? Helps me.

(Looks like DS is done for now. Off to bed again. Night)

Good grief! Worst night's sleep ever! I have a 2 child tag team on operation 'keep our parents awake' DS (2 and half) has started to get night terrors. The latest about spider webs in his bed resulting in him refusing to get back in to bed at 2am. Eventually did but came running in to our room an hour later and spent the rest of the night in our bed fidgeting away. All this was interspersed with a fussy baby wanting to feed every 1 and a half. Ugh. Which leads me to my question for you all...

How do I stop N snacking and get her to take a full feed so she's full??? It's worse at night as she falls asleep on the breast but then wakes up hungry a short time later. Any tips?

Rhienne-I thought it wasn't you. Reeney is R on fb (I think).

Did the bf advisor not give you advice on how to get of the shields? Last baby I was told to do the following:
Put shield on at start.
Leave on for all but last 5mins
Take off and get baby to latch at end of feed
Every day, increase the amount of time without the shield.

It only took two days for us! But I think we were lucky.
This baby also has a shallow latch, but in the last few days seems to have corrected it. I'm now able to give her about half bf instead of all ebm/formula in bottles. She needs the high cal formula for her poor growth. But I must say, it's nice to drop some of the pumping! I also second the squashing the front of the breast to flatten it for him to latch. This helps A a lot especially if she's tired.

Some of you sound like you've had a terrible time with bf. I thought I did last time, but nowhere near the stories on here. I think youre all amazing too keep it up. I don't think I'd have been able to, especially of it was the first baby. I think when you've done it before you know what it will eventually be like and so have motivation to keep going.
Hats off to you all .

lolly D does the whole snacking thing too I change her nappy to try & wake her but she doesnt bother haha x

For every bad day of bfing, I think of giving up then I have a good day. I'm thinking of going to baby bistro on Monday for breastfeeding mums. I really want to boost my confidence, especially going out and about. Although, I'm pleased that she easily took a bottle of expressed milk both times I've offered it her. That's a relief for going out :-) x

lolly my HV said that babies go through a big growth spurt just after 2 weeks (I think you had your dc round about the same date as me?) and if she just wants to snack then I should let her.

W has been really clingy all this week, dp went back to work after paternity leave on Monday too so I was on my own with both dc and so it was quite a challenge. I don't think dp quite understood just how clingy she's been though but was off today so I left him with W while I was upstairs and when I came back down he was knackered and said he hadn't been able to get anything done as she wouldn't let him put her down even for a few minutes. I think he now gets how I'm not able to get anything done during the day!

Tiger hats off to you and anyone else managing with multiple kids and their new LO. I have my first day at home with DS1 (2.3) and DS2 (5 1/2 wks) on Monday and have no idea how I'll manage keeping DS1 entertained while feeding, and the fact that I have to get up before DH leaves for work, and can't sleep except in DS1s lunch nap, IF DS2 sleeps then as well.

NoFork Thanks for the encouragement. Our problem is me, not DS. He can and will latch on and eat away, but it hurts. And continues to hurt after the feed is over and on into the next feed! So I have to manage his technique really closely, and my pain and apprehension.

We managed a few feeds today without shields, until the pain came back and I went back to the shields. I'm thinking about starting block feeding if I can - only one side each feed, to give my nipples a break. Hope my supply is great enough now that he will not go hungry.

Rhienne I fed dd1 like that-one boob per feed. I thought that's how you were supposed to do it so they could get the hind milk. I have been corrected now. But dd2 is very reluctant to latch on to the other boob. I think she's full iyswim.

Oh. And entertaining other dc while feeding. Dd1 has scribbled all over my solid oak dining room table IN BIRO! And then gone and scribbled all over the door frame AND her books! She must have done it yesterday while I was feeding A. Must have been then because he had scribbled all over a cardboard box. She is 3.5 and definitely knows better. Think this is the naughtiest thing she's ever done . . Oh, and I caught her picking up the baby out I the nose basket and throwing her back down! I admit I screamed at her and she shrugged and said 'sorry, A'.

Can you put 3 yr old in a playpen?

nofork that behaviour is almost identical to my 3 yr old last few days. My easy going good natured boy has turned into a nightmare. All jealously I'm sure but so difficult. He hasn't picked up baby but he has wee'd on her tummy time memory foam mat... I kid you not.
Interested about the breast feeding from one breast not being the way now.. I fed two sons a breast a feed, they fed in 10-20 mins. Drained breast til it was empty but wouldn't have taken the other side ever until next feed. I never had a blocked duct or a problem really. This time it just didn't happen & I'm FF although mourning my past BF.

Dd1 only ever took one breast per feed, despite bring offered the 2nd, she never wanted it.
Dd2 took both, but never emptied the 2nd side.

Ds I think would be happy if I had 4 boobs.

nofork my 7yo is being the same, and really is old enough to know better.

Well ladies my 13 & 11 year old are also playing up & behaving horrendously so its not just your little ones xx

Aargh, what is it scribbling all over things all of a sudden?! DS is 22 months and has also just started doing this when I am feeding DD. For attention I'm sure and he thinks it's hilarious that I'm stuck on the sofa trying to grab the pens as he runs past or trying to catch him with one boob hanging out in front of the living room window. Bloody annoying though and we now have a blue windowsill! Also doing my head in that he loves DD a little too much, ie won't leave her alone for a second. Got so fed up earlier I went to the supermarket with them both, just to get out of the house! Aargh! And breathe

mrsmoons ie taken to swapping the pen (that dd aquires from goodness knows where) for a pencil, which can be rubbed out.

I only allow crayola markers and crayons in the house as they can be rubbed out. Dinos drawn with brown marker all over the grey hall wall was sorted but it's doing my head in. I make him clean it himself with a bowl & sponge. By the way bicarbonate of soda & a bit of water made into a paste takes biro & a lot of other stuff off walls & furniture

thanks for the tips! For some reason, today DS has moved on to trying to colour in his own hair. sigh.

Never tried the bicarb paste bood I usually just paint over the biro

I don't always have anymore of the paint colour left or it's too much of a faff to take out paint brushes.

My children are driving me nuts today, I have no patience either so i just keep telling them to stop talking.. Which is insane obviously.

Another 1 with fresh biro all over coffee table. Always seems DD1 starts misbehaving when I have to feed K. My mum has been here this weekend and she has told me to be stricter with her or she is gonna keep playing up. Also have to start taking her bedtime bottle away (I have been very lazy at the moment with discipline and also she isn't a baby so really should give up the bottle.) it's gonna be hard work.

I have had 2 nights of no night feeds as my mum done both nights so I could sleep and also a night out with DH last night. Feel more tired after more sleep than what I do normally.