May 2013 thread our new and not so new arrivals

[BeauticianNotMagician]

Hi ladies

Just thought we could all really do with this. Rather selfish a its mostly for the thousand odd questions I have and things I'd like to share/ vent that no one else would understand.

We've all been together so long I even talk about you all to DP

Oh you have just made me feel so much better, thank you. Being convinced by the PIL that everyone else's babies are sleeping and feeding just left me feeling so alone, which I feel anyway what with being awake at 2.30am with a headache knowing DD will need feeding in the next hour or sooner judging by the squeaks and movements she's making. Not had any sleep tonight so far. I'm reluctant to spend another day desperately trying to nap though, I'm not getting anything done, I'm not leaving the house, it's just miserable chasing sleep all the time. Plus people with more than one child presumably just have to get on with it so I think that's what I'll do. I need something like a life or I'll go round the bend!

The 1st thing I think when I get back into bed is quick fall asleep you only have 2 hours till the next feed. I have to catch her when she stirs tho and take her downstairs before dd1 wakes up. Toddlers up at 5am are not fun. Your not alone the nice thing is there always someone awake in here or the Facebook page who is prob thinking the same. I think it's hard with your 1st coz you don't know what to expect. There is no rush to get out and about tho especially in this rubbish weather. Enjoy being able to nap randomly in the day. And honestly I was obsessed with my house being tidy and wanting to get things done. Leave it it will be there to do another day. Anyone who offers to help take them up on it even if it's a few hours so you can sleep uninterrupted you will feel so much better after. My mum is coming to stay with us this weekend and she is gonna do one of the nights for me so I can sleep, I can't wait. Don't overdo it tho if you are tired even 20 minutes of fresh air will make you feel a million times better.

I'm currently using a nipple shield that dh picked up from boots, but it keeps slipping off when feeding dd, even though I stuck it with lanolin cream. Does anyone use one which doesn't slip off? Any recommendations?

Purr, my lo normally feeds every two hours or so and went through a couple of days where she fed every hour or every 30 min (a growth spurt maybe?), so don't worry it is perfectly normal. This is a very testing stage, and don't let your PIL's comments get to you - I was also told by my mil that I should only feed lo every 3 hours - I just ignored her comments. If lo is crying for a feed every 30 mon, she is going to get it. Mil is just not here to see her cry!

purr purr you sound strung out you poor thing. Have you got a health visitor calling or a drop in clinic you can go to? It helps that it's not family or friends & advice is easier to swallow from them (most of the time).

• 3rd baby here and for what its worth I've never fed on demand with BF or FF apart from establishing BF. in hospital they push 2-3 hour feeds to begin with so I just went from there . It takes an hour for the feed to be digested so they won't be able to take a full feed before then anyway . Snacking means they don't get to the hind milk so don't fully satisfy themselves & look for more quicker. Mostly for your own sanity, space between feeds means you can find your rhythm and little one can sleep off their banquet. I would sit down with a HV and come up with a way of working that doesn't feel like you're pushing her into an unrealistic ideal but allows you time for you.

Hind milk re breast feeding but equally with FF they won't take a full feed if they have only had a feed a very short time before. As someone said above , I always wake for a feed in the day & never at night.

Bood, if you don't feed on demand how do you sooth you lo when she cries? I've tried not feeding A, but sometimes she won't settle for anything other then the boob... She can't possibly be hungry, and judging by the amount that comes back up she isn't. I try to not let her suckle and also tried a dummy but that doesn't work either.

Purr, if you are FF can DH not take over a couple of feeds for one or two nights? Maybe any feeds between 21.00/22.00 and 00.00/ 01.00? Then he can still get a semi decent rest, but so can you!

I don't feed in demand either and like Bood I haven't done for any of my three children.
To soothe when crying instead of feeding first thing I do is offer a dummy,if after a few times putting dummy in mouth Teddy is still crying I will change his nappy. If he still cries I will rock and pat him to sleep or put him on my knees and talk to him whilst rocking gently. One of those usually works and I have no need to give him a bottle. Ds1 and 2 were exactly the same.

Sorry on demand one handed typing as getting ready for school run

My first two were over 9lb at birth and good feeders so filled up each feed and I knew if they were upset it was something else...of course sometimes they show all the signs of needling a feed more regularly - growth spurt etc.
DD was 2lb lighter and a rubbish eater so was 2 hrs at the start but progressed after a week or two. I guess with confidence from first two I can judge when a cry is hunger & when is tired - I think that is the one to figure out cause with a good sleep they can take a good feed. Otherwise wet/pooey or bored. Lots of people subscribe to soothing on the breast/bottle but its not for me. I keep it for hunger. She's hugged & kissed to pieces though :-))

You lovely lot are so supportive, I should have posted sooner. I've been reading your replies and feel

Ahh the iPhone, king of the dramatic cliffhanger post. Stupid thing.

I've been feeling much more positive. DD has had three feeds today from 7.30am, one every three hours give or take. She is having 20ml less than she should be per feed, but that still means she has been having comparatively enormous feeds. I feel like a right idiot because she is so content today. She is a fairly happy baby anyway but today she is really chilled. I can't believe it's working.

My new found optimism means I have sorted out our spare room for me and DD to sleep in tonight, lovely clean bedding, hoovered and changing area set up. I feel much happier about trying to sleep upstairs now I know there is a chance there could be some actual sleeping occurring!

Thanks a lot you lovely people x

Great news. Darkest hour is just before the dawn etc!!

To add to the whole feed on demand thing. I would consider myself in the 'feed on demand camp'. I don't really time feeds or the space between them and feed her when she shows signs of hunger but I would also try all the things beaut suggested before assuming she's hungry if I thought it was too soon for a feed. I think there's a difference between feeding on demand and using your boob to placate them which I have done in the past and probably will in the future as it can actually be quite useful at times!

Purr glad your feeling better today.

Is he crying 10?

10 - I used to take DD1 out for a walk to try and get her to sleep. I have even been walking round our estate at 2am in my pyjamas. Also carrying her around the house rocking in the carrier. If he isn't crying he might settle himself to sleep. Bless him tho dunno why babies do it.

10 if he likes the wrap, Have you considered swaddling? (That might replicate the close feeling he gets in the wrap.)

Oh dear some of you are really having a hard time.

10 is this a one off? DD1 used to always fall asleep with a dummy and a bloody singing seahorse! m.fisher-price.com/en_US/m/brands/babytoys/products/43203

We had massive problems if we ever forgot it when we stayed elsewhere. So much so we had to buy an emergency one once! But she was off really quickly with it. Maybe try something similar to set up a routine?

I demand fed dd1 but A has been pretty much in a 3 hourly routine since leaving the hospital. Overnight we can go from 3-6 hourly! So I have been very lucky.

Big news here is that A has gained 200g this week. That's the biggest gain in a week so far. She is now 5lbs 8 (2.5kg). Her sister was 2.8kg birth weight, so that will be a big milestone for us-and it's so close!
Have I officially got the smallest baby on this thread? Anyone close? I'm hoping I'm not entirely alone .

Hi everyone, popping over to say hello as I've been posting on the Facebook group but would like to join in here, too. Will start catching up on these 470-odd posts first ...

10 can you swaddle him with that hand out? DS seems to tolerate that a bit better.

Nofork, that's brilliant news on A's weight gain! I remember celebrating every time dd put on a good amount. Sometimes it was just 1oz a week though, I remember holding back the tears at the weigh in clinic :( weight gain is such an emotional issue when it doesn't go so well.