Jonas is talking non stop to the cat
who is being bribed to stay put with cat treats.
I too am blessed of slaphead forehead. We'd all have been court beauties in Elizabethan times 
I would like to teach Jonas a sense of adventure / seizing opportunities - that the world is an exciting place and you're a long time dead; kindness and how to respect people (especially future partners be they male or female); a respect for nature; tolerance for other cultures; and a love of learning - whether academic or practical. I'd like him to have the confidence I only gained mid twenties after dubious relationships!
Who mentioned David Attenborough as a secret crush? - I luffs him!!!!
MM am v envious of your time off! Cheese and wine would have tempted me sod work connections 