March 2013: Smiles, sleep & excellent feeding.....the thread of wishful thinking!

[SoYo]

Well we may as well start the thread on a positive note before the grumbling about the little darlings begins!!!

The wake to sleep thing sounds intriguing. It's in Evil Baby Whisperer, isn't it? I'll have a read of that later on and maybe give it a try next week when the man's back at work. Just horribly afraid it'll result in her napping even less, because we don't actually have anything we do to get her to sleep, we just swaddle her, give her her dummy, and put her in her cot when she's tired and off she goes (usually).

Glad she seems to be on the mend, Eig. I think once everything's back to normal you might be owed dinner out, or at least pizza and wine in front of a good movie.

Stormy awesome thanks grin

An going to try the nap thing this afternoon if DS gets past the 20 minute catnap phase. Daytime naps here usually just involve a dummy and him finally giving up the fight and falling I a heap on me, so I'm not holding out too much hope, but worth a shot.

Do you still swaddle at all, plonko? We find getting DD into the swaddle pod really speeds up the giving-up-the-fight process.

DD went down at 11, so I sent the man up at 11.35. Apparently she took some waking. All been quiet since. No idea how long this will last. Debating sending him up to do it again at 12.15.

Literally no idea of DS's weight! The only way I can get a slight idea of weight is the bathroom scales thing - very unreliable. So yep, newborn size 1. Can't seem to find any drynites in the right size? If someone can link me to a pic of the packet that would help...

Quite jealous of all your nap talk, sir has not 'napped' for days now, unless whilst he's meant to be eating. Very grumpy today, got him in the sling for the first time in ages at home and he's now asleep but I find it hard to wear him all day with my rubbish back.

I'm loathed to admit that maybe he didn't sleep because I EBF yesterday and he didn't get his 'knock out juice' as OH calls it before bed. I find that upsetting because of all of my BF issues but I'll try it tonight. There seems little point in giving him EBM by bottle because he ALWAYS howls for more after, even when he would actually drink less from the boob.

Oh god Hv 's. we only saw one once as dd had regained birth weight by day 10 so mw signed us over and was up a percentile to 75th by week 4. Let's hope the other nasty side effect of this illness isn't more monitoring by hv's. I am sure they are lovely people but completely useless unless you need a good laugh and it's not there type of laugh I need right now. For a start off mine is male and in his fifties and doesn't wash... I managed to avoid him totally with DS as he was on leave and the lady only came once as DS was huge and healthy (96 percentile, downing 8 ounces 5 times a day by 8 weeks).

We've had to ditch the swaddle as doctors not keen when dd having issues breathing and using her stomach muscles to help so we are in a sleeping bag. I find as long as her hands are covered with the built in scratch mitts it's ok.

I am sure someone had a baby app. Which one do you recommend as I am just writing down all the stuff for the hospital.

Stormy we haven't swaddled properly since he was about a week old. I sometimes wrap him up with his arms free but there's no chance of him fitting into the swaddlepod now! Got an entire 2 nights out of that.

Leni a nap round here is pure luck. Nothing I do seems to have any bearing on it! Tiring huh?

DD frequently has days where she will nap 30-45 mins and have 60-90 mins awake time in between. Never though the short naps were a problem - is there actually an issue with short nap times as long as it adds up to enough rest in the day? Still gives me plenty of time to do stuff. I work freelance for 2-3 hours a day so it seems to work fine for us.

I take it back! Just woke up from a half hour nap and had a meltdown!

It's nothing to do with me wanting to get stuff done- although that would be a bonus! For dd 35 mins at a time is not enough regardless of how often it happens, she still gets grumpier and grumpier as the day goes on, the only time this doesn't happen is when she's managed a really long nap (ie in the car or, as is currently the case, on me!)

vj DD currently asleep on me afer meltdown! Amazing how variable our little ones can be in their moods day to day!

I'm going to try this wake to sleep malarkey on one of the days madam deigns to have a nap in the house!

Struggling here today, I've put my back out again so I'm in bloody agony. Plastered in heat patches, taking handfuls of diclofenac & hoping for the best. Holding her to feed is a pAin though & the 4hr car journey didn't help much! At least DH is off until Monday.

Leni madam here is about 14-15lb if home scales are to be believed & is well into size 3. Maybe give size 2 a go. We used pampers new baby until size 3 & now baby dry & both have never had a wee leak & only poo leaks with massive poonami or poor nappy technique DH

Ladies- talk to me about motorway services (M4 specifically but any experiences will do!) I have a 4 hr drive on my own with dd tomorrow and am worrying about the following:

Baby change facilities (but I'm guessing this is a given) are they clean or shall I just do it in the car?
What if I need a wee? This is my biggest concern
What if she screams the whole way? (I know- not much advice you can give me here and I'm fairly sure she'll sleep)
What if we get stuck in a huge traffic jam and she decides she's hungry? This is the thing that worries me most. Completely stationary for hours is one thing, I could get her out and feed her. But one of those bloody irritating slower than walking pace jams with no exit in sight could be really really horrid.

And now I'm meant to be packing. But CBA. Might drink wine instead.

According to that post two things worry me most. The second trumps the first!

vj thanks for explaining wake to sleep thing. I read it in week two and just didn't get it. Brain totally addled back then. plonko did you try it this afternoon? Any joy?
vj with ref your car journey. We did Norfolk to Kent on bank holiday so I was worried too. We had stop start crap over the Dartford crossing and dd did wake but didn't cry. Just a few grizzles. Services were ok. We put our mat over theirs and washed our hands as usual. The ones we encountered had toilets in them. Otherwise use disabled loo? If your lo has a three hour ish cycle for feeds could you up it to every two and a half or every two for your journey time to prevent her actually getting hungry? Just a thought! Then if you get stuck you might have bought yourself some time.
soyo how is your back doing now the end of the day is nigh? Fx improved?
Can we use this thread as a cathartic confession space? I have no idea what made this 'baby care essential' escape my mind but at five fifteen I realised in a panic I'd not changed dd's nappy since eleven this morning. That's pretty terrible. I felt awful. She hadn't moaned bless her. It was only wet but still. Could have been poo. Are you going to report me?

Argh! Just typed massive post which mn has eaten.

Vj - preemptive feeding is the key for us. Work at least half an hour earlier than you would normally, that way if you get held up there is a buffer zone.

Too late for kegels, shewee? Both car doors and a hedge?

I have a fold out changing mat and several muslins in my bag. Popped onto communal ones they're fine.

Eig - I use Babyconnect app. It's very good and has 2 day free trial.

Stormy, weigh in disaster. Only gained 5 oz in 2 weeks. Reckon that puts us on 2nd centile when he was born well over 50th. Hv coming tomorrow to see us.

I wrote lots about how crap I'm currently feeling having been ebf and thinking all going well at last. Feel I've failed him with boobs and with judgement about progress, many tears today, massive loss of confidence. Considering jacking in bfing just to stop emotional roller coaster, but fought so hard for it... Though doesn't seem to be working.

Vj - we did 3 hrs and just did a big feed beforehand and then hoped for the best. Not sure what else you can do really. As long as you've got as much in her belly first you know starving is not on the cards!

If you take a sling you can wear her to the loo

Are you EBF or FF? Or both?

We're nearly ebf- formula at 10pm. Usually pretty predictably 3hrs, pre-emptive feeding is a good idea, and hoping for the best!

Thanks for other advice, making me feel much better!
Eco- I also read about wake to sleep at 2 weeks, and promptly forgot. At that stage she was pretty much sleeping all the time apart from feeding and I naively and smugly thought she'd stay like that! And re:nappy. When dd first went from noisy poos every 2 hrs to quiet ones once a day, we no longer had something to remind us. We once left her for 8 hrs in a cheap nappy. She was fine but it made me cry when I realised.

Pud- sorry you're feeling rubbish about things. Wish I had some words of advice, but I'm useless. Hope hv has some wise words tomorrow.

pud we were told that over six weeks it's advised to get weighed every three to four weeks because otherwise we get fixated on their small weight gain which is usually entirely normal between growth spurts. If you've only recently felt you've got to grips with boob maybe you can give it a couple more weeks to bed in? If you thought the boob was enough for lo would you still be feeling as emotional? Is it lack of weight gain that's the main problem? Remember you're doing a great job for lo as you are agonising over what's best. That's the hallmark of an exceptional mummy. I've only recently got to grips with boobs too. And it's been a while since a weigh in but the smiles keep coming as do the wet/dirty nappies so fx it's all working for her. Sending hugs from way out east.

Eco we've done that with the nappy more than once....bad parents . The back's worse unfortunately. I'm mostly lying on the carpet, only getting up to feed madam & do the odd yoga stretch to reach wine & painkillers.

Pud see what HV says but take it with a pinch of salt & like VJ said maybe re-weigh in 2 weeks. BF babies are a law unto themselves & as long as they're healthy with soggy nappies they're usually no problem.

VJ re services we've got a high car with a flatbed boot so I changed her on that because it seemed less hassle then popped her in the sling for me to go for a pee (be aware of dangling feet!). If you get stuck in a crawly jam stay in the near side lane so you could pull into the hard shoulder in the event of a screamy fit. Usually I'd say you should always get out of your car on the shoulder in case a fast moving car hit your stationary one but if the rest are only crawling that's not an issue.

Thanks for the duct tape advice but its probably bordering abuse. My friends 6month ds takes out dummy and puts it back himself. Soooo amazed. So we have another 3 months of dummy fights.

eco- i put my hand up to not always remembering to change ds nappy especially when outside. I hate using changing facilities. They do seem unhygenic.

vj- i havent been brave enough to do a long journey. Unfortunately ds does not like the car seat when hes awake. It usually takes 10mins before hes zonked out though. my only advice is to plan regular stops. Sorry im probably stating the obvious.

I tried that sleep technique but only by accident. I never thought it was a theory until it was mentioned on this thread today. When ds woke up i cuddled him and put him on my chest and fell asleep for an extra hour. He usually naps for about 25- 45mins.

Sleep deprivation got the better of me and had an argument with dh. I said he should get up once during the night to do a feed so i can sleep as i was too tired. He made a sarcastic comment saying i couldnt look after a baby and said i should sleep when he comes from work. I have done this but i get disorientated when i wake then cant get back to sleep for the rest of the night. I also pointed out sleeping at night is completely different to sleeping during the day or evening. I walked off in a huff. He later comes to ask if i can look after ds while he showers. I told him he needs to manage ds and showers like i have to when he is at work. Why are men in particular my dh so annoying. We have had more arguments within these 3months than the 5 years since we met each other. Ok rant over.

vj I used the fleet services and the baby changing room was awful with shit everywhere so I changed her on the floor on my mat with a pampers disposable at on top, taken so if there was a poonami ( which it was) everything, including the clothes she was in, could be binned. I think the hygiene of some of these places is awful so often prefer to use the car or st a minimum have your own mat to put on top and clean it well after the journey.

Things on the up here. Mini eig is sleeping so peacefully for the first time in a week I have to keep putting my arm out to check se is breathing...

Eco, his weight has been a constant source of worry from the get go. Hv has said that he was over-weighed by mw's in early days, making me rather paranoid about it, but we've already had one paed referral when he fell through the second centile line since birth, and we are about go through another. As I have battled like mad to get boob working (milk didn't really come in properly for ages) I have also found it even harder to trust my supply than is normal. Feel so knocked back as finally thought I'd got it cracked, but this rather implies perhaps not.

Lots of wet nappies, but still no poo since last Thurs...

X post Eig- so pleased mini is doing better. I have been thinking of you both.

Missed lots today.

Eig glad LO is sleeping so well. That's got to be a really good sign. I second the baby connect app. I only really use it to see how muvh he's eating these days but you can track all sorts. It's very handy for recording meds if you've a sleep deprived brain and can't remember when you last gave them some.

PUdtat sorry you've had such a rubbish day. You are being a great mum. Some things are just out of control with the little monkeys. I bet in another month everything will be going swimmingly and you can forget all about this blip. I haven't seen or heard from my hv for weeks but she did say back at the beginning that weighing once a month was plenty unless I was worried and wanted reassurance. Not that I've had him weighed recently, bad mummy. Why are these silly children's clinics only on for two hours a week. Must try to keep next Monday free so I can take him just to get the dot in my red book. Do we get shouted at if we don't go enough?

I've no good advice re long car trips but I second the disposal changing mat for the manky toilets. Then if there's a poosplosion or pee fountain you can just bin it and you don't have to put LO on the grubby services changing station. We usually put our mat down then a disposable on top.

When you think about the nappy thing it's not that bad forgetting. It's only the same amount of time as a good long night sleep and if they've not cried it can't be bothering them. We're also on the size 3 baby dry. I actually preferred the new born ones as I don't think the baby dry keep the pee away from the skin as well but they're still the best we've tried. Huggies didn't fit well and leaked. Aldi ones were good but didn't last as long in the night.