March 2013: Smiles, sleep & excellent feeding.....the thread of wishful thinking!

[SoYo]

Well we may as well start the thread on a positive note before the grumbling about the little darlings begins!!!

Right, I think I've just about caught up!

Stormy yes I think returning to the dr is a must. I'm not sure if I've just made this up but I'm pretty sure there are certain formulas only available on prescription. And I second ranitidine. When nothing else worked for my heartburn/reflux when I was pregnant ranitidine was my saviour. Hope all is fine soon.

Leni wow. Just...wow. I'm sure there's a joke somewhere in there about seeing your 'Elf Visitor' but I'm tired and not very clever.

Wing period really not as bad as I was expecting but still a bit of a shock. On a scale of 1-Crowning I'd put it at 1.5 if that's any indication?

Worse a two hour hike in a forest sounds lovely. I hope we'll be doing something similar next weekend.

I am completely shattered. Out with mum on Friday then had guests Friday and Saturday night (bit of a shock when they just didn't leave on Saturday and I found myself cooking for four), then we almost did t go to Birmingham today after DS decided that its just be so cool to wake at 4.30 am. He normally goes straight down after that bottle but not today and DH did the decent thing of entertaining him. Just as well seeing as I had a small meltdown and decided to ban 2 night stays then tried to cancel going out for lunch, all at 5 am. Luckily my friends and DP know me pretty well as steered me in the right direction.

I'm so proud of us for doing it, as silly as that sounds. A bit of sun and a lunch time pint and I felt like my old self again. Leni this has also really calmed my nerves about my suddenly-screaming baby. He's calmer when were out because I think there's just so many things to stare at/dribble on.

Blimey Leni. I'd also block but if you know anyone in her family, perhaps share the message first and see if they can get some help for her? Please don't let it prey on your mind though :(
And the reason I've been posting about my public BFing is to hopefully inspire you too! Although you'll have to go far to beat walking down a church aisle in front of 400 people and at a zoo

Stormy, has lactose intolerance been suggested yet? I met a lady at that post natal group last week whose both sons had it. If I see her on Tuesday I can ask about symptoms for you?

SoYo, that soun like my mood when I've had a bad night too (yesterday morning then ). Hope you have a better night tonight.

Interestingly, I found an old online journal that I used to have and particularly a couple of entries when DS was six weeks old. It sounds as if I had exactly the same behaviour with him as I have with DD eg cluster feeding at night, hours pacing the floor trying to get him to sleep, DH being frustrated that he couldn't calm DS (I spoiled and pasted it in an email to add to prove its not BFing that is making him frustrated as he was the same with DS and we'd pretty much stopped by then), not having a routine, DS not really sleeping well in the basket and DS feeding a lot throughout the day. I aslo read that I used to put DS on his front when he'd do his elephant groaning at approx 5am which helped him go back off. I remember doing that.

I feel really relieved as I think I've been comparing add to DS when he was older (ie when I can remember from) and of course he was in more of a routine after three months ish.

Now if only we could crack the bottle with DD. the last two days we've warmed the mail much more and I think that's helped but today we forgot to try it and then it got to the witching hour and it isn't worth trying then.

Fingers crossed for good evenings for us all!

Sooo many typos. Plonko, well done on the lunch today and for future guests, don't forget the old MN saying "no is a complete sentence"

I wonder if any future guests will ask me if I mean to be so rude, Wing? Loving the typos btw. I too would refrain from warming my mail during the witching hour
Must be such a relief to realise that you've already been through this before with DS and come out the other side. Gives us all hope!

SoYo I'm totally with you on the stressy housework front. DP tries to help but I still bite his head off. I wonder if its down to motherhood and wanting to make things just so for our little families, or spending too much time within the same four walls. DP tactfully told me earlier that he knew my period was due as I was being 'difficult'. Hmm.

No, I genuinely think that (massive gender stereotype alert) most men just don't get it like we do. DH will do the hoovering, sometimes when asked and occassionally off his own bat. He will tell me he has 'done the house'. I have learnt this means kitchen, hall and lounge. Never utility room, porch or downstairs loo. Sometimes upstairs landing, rarely stairs, never any bedrooms. Wtf?

DS just went from 10pm until now without wanting a feed - should I be worried?! 7 hours!

Fairy? FAIRY???!!!! The elf waves have got me too..... AArrrrgggghhhhhh

I think I may have to join you on the having a strop at the DH front. Mine got an earful too yesterday, for no real reason other than I was just tired. Poor bloke. He's brilliant with the tiny person though, so I can't really complain.... but it would be nice if he could empty the bin without being asked. Balancing rubbish on top because it is full is not ok.....!

7 hours Leni? Aw, ds is growing up

Ah she wakes.... off I trot

Nothing like a pint in the sunshine to make you feel human, plonko! Shame it's so grey and miserable here.

Not sure if leni's friend needs professional help - to be honest, that message reminded me of the stuff an ex-friend used to come out with. Said friend was very into crystals and spirits and mystical healing powers and basically any old bollocks so long as there was absolutely no evidence. Standard stuff from the type who calls you close-minded if you believe in the scientific method. So could be nuts, could just be a weirdo!

Wing I've googled lactose intolerance and it doesn't really fit at all. Based on yesterday's normal milk I do think reflux is the issue. Hoping to have her double checked for tongue tie too though - could explain why she has such trouble getting thickened milk down her?

pud I strongly suspect a lot of blokes just don't, subconsciously, particularly care about doing a good job when cleaning, because they know there's a woman around to do it properly. There are only four types of housework in our house: hoovering; washing up; cat litter; and laundry. The hoovering's the man's job, and yes, I'm forever having to tell him it includes the stairs and bedrooms. At least he's good at the cat litter, having had plenty of practice while I was pregnant!

Don't forget that men think that if they wee hard enough on the dried on poo they left in the toilet bowl until it shifts, that counts as 'cleaning the toilet'!

OH watched me dusting and hoovering yesterday whilst DS slept, then proceeded to stick a square thing in the bin ripping the bag open. I've now found his socks down the back of both sets of shelves in the living room, he says it's because he takes them off and throws them - he says this as if everyone does that because of course socks behind shelves are in prime position to get washed and put back in the drawer?!

I'm still puzzling over the fb msgs, the meat is really fruit part makes the least sense to me.

GP check today - hoping all straightforward. After his mammoth 7 hour sleep DS polished off 6 oz in one sitting. He's a monster!

Do we get letters about booking vaccinations? We've had nothing yet and the first lot are due next week...

I just got told to do it by hv. I booked him in at 6w check but if your surgery is v busy you might want to book ahead. Jabs were with the nurse.

Talk to the receptionist about vaccinations when you're at the GP today, leni. And maybe start throwing your dirty socks in OH's mouth when he's sleeping, and when he complains, innocently say "But I thought throwing them somewhere bloody stupid was how they got washed?"

I asked the man the other day why one of his socks was in the middle of the living room floor. "Because I was playing guitar last night," was his response.

If meat is really fruit, does that mean bacon counts as one of your five a week day?

Clearly this is where I've been going wrong - I've been eating what I thought was fruit all this time. No wonder I'm tubby!

DPs also pretty good with the litter tray, but also thinks that mowing the lawn counts as cleaning don't get me wrong, I am grateful, but it's hardly the same as tidying the spare room so his friends can spend two bloody nights in it. I think I owe it to DS's future partner to make him responsible and tidy from an early age!

Leni - brilliant! I think growth spurts mean crazy feeding but longer stretches of sleep? I'm at the socks!

We went from last feed at 10:15-2 then 2:45-5 then 5:15-6 and DH brought her downstairs while I slept till 8!

The news for today is that I've bloomin run out of breast pads and some are coming in the post so I have a combination of loo roll and a cut up panty liner in my bra!

Sounds classy, Wing

On a slightly more serious note, plonko (and anyone else with a useless chap who doesn't clean), it may be worth talking to them about the example they're setting. You can get DS to do all the cleaning in the world, but if he sees his dad doing sod all or a piss-poor job safe in the knowledge that his mum will then do it properly, then he's learning that cleaning's women's work, and that does both him and his future partners a disservice.

Just had a phone call from the man. His work have lost the contract for the campaign he'd just been reassigned to. Three options: quit; voluntary redundancy with no pay; or start on a new campaign in a couple of weeks. So that's another two weeks of no work (yay) but no pay (bugger). I guess I'd better stop buying random baby stuff on amazon...

Clearly it's been a weekend of bloody useless OHs. Mine was "ill" all weekend, ill enough to not be able to help with dd, to send me off on errands to get things that would make him feel better, to not be able to do the agreed DIY, but NOT ill enough to avoid making a huge mess. He's now gone off to work (he's away Monday-Friday most weeks) and I'm having to spend all day playing catch up. I told him that if he wasn't careful I'd start looking forward to him going to work so that I could get the house back in order, but in truth, that's already the case! Could do without dd being totally nap resistant and a lovely friend asking to come over because there are people coming to see her house.

In other news, I think DD's digestive system is finally growing up, we've had 4 days now of only 1-2 poos a day, as opposed to the 5-6 previously. About time, she's nearly 11 weeks old! And interestingly, the washable nappies deal with massive poonamis much better than any disposibles. If any of you are considering washables, I'd highly recommend bambino mios- we use the cheaper ones that you assemble yourself, £180 for the lot, should last til she's out of nappies, and I can honestly say I don't even notice the extra washing. (Promise I don't work for them...)

Oh, and thank you for your concern re: cousin's DS. He's still in hospital but they think through the worst of it, and there doesn't seem to be any lasting damage.

Glad to hear he's on the mend Vj. Good news.

Stormy, you make an excellent point. In our case DH does lots- most of the cooking for starters - and tries with cleaning but just doesn't seem to SEE some things... It isn't that he ignores it on purpose, he just doesn't notice that it needs doing yet.

Re real nappies, I am doing a trial through our local council where you borrow a set of kit with about 11 different types so you can see which work best for you. Don't have any of the ones VJ mentioned, but would reiterate the thing about bamboo taking ages to dry outside of a tumble dryer, although feels lovely. They are all so bulky though, struggling to make that element work for us at the mo, and couldn't do any of the birth to potty ones right now. Lollipop seem quite good, as do ecobots. May be I like more as he gets bigger (we're not quite over 10lb here yet).

Anyone tried the Gpants ones? I've got several random ones I got on ebay, think a few are bamboo ones, tried two so far today, with a towelling insert a green poonami seemed perfectly easily dealt with! We've recently swapped formula brands so I think the green poo is to do with that. I'm making sure he stays on each boob long enough to get the hindmilk. Now having two bottles at night of the Cow and Gate ready made first infant milk, the whole thing of buggering about with powder was too much when I'm no longer afforded any warning of impending hunger... also much better to not have to add boiling water and then cool, Sir will not wait for such faffing!

I've not heard a peep from the HV since week 2 - no idea what's going on there. I'll just book his jabs when we go in later.

I'm so pissed off with my freelance situation; not one single bit of work I did last year worked out, people not doing their jobs properly but expecting to take a cut of money I've worked really hard to earn etc, and in this one project we got right to the end without a word to say they weren't happy (in fact they said the opposite) and now when I've done the work they've said it's not what they wanted. Considering I do music around my 50 hour a week day job I find it hard to see how people come up with excuses as to why they never reply to emails or get things done as promised when for them music is all they do. Now I have to either do all the work again (with a newborn? Don't think so) or pay them back the advance. Brilliant.

Grrrrr... screw them all!

leni perhaps if they don't reply neither should you. That's seriously unfair, I'd be fuming. Perhaps explain it in your best I-hate-you-but-I'm-being-diplomatic tone, stating calmly but firmly that they can't pay you for one thing and move the goalposts, so its their mistake not yours?

Hmm reusables. We started on little lambs pockets at 4 weeks when most of DS's clothes were too big. We now cannot fit his trousers on if he's in them, so as much as I love them I consider £50 for 5 weeks worth of nappies to be a leetle on the steep side. Have had more luck with Bumgenius but they're too expensive to stock up on. Maybe we'll give them another go in the future but I've kind of fallen out of love with cloth. It's a shame because they're so cute and feel soft and lack that disgusting chemical smell, but they're just not working for us.

We've been out all day so just catching up now.

Leni of you have proof (emails etc) that you've given them what they asked for and that they had not said anything until the end of the work but has had plenty of opportunities to do so previously, I'd keep the advance and would even consider asking them for the rest of t (unless it was payable on final approval). No way should you be giving it back of you've done the work!

I'm frankly too tired too bother anymore! I just want to enjoy my DS and screw everything else.

Went to the gp and stood outside in the wind for 15 mins before being told the person who booked my appt hadn't actually put me in the system so DS hasn't had a checkup now since he was 19 days old, grrrrr!

Then the difficult phone call I had rescheduled after they cancelled (without actually telling me) the first time was cancelled again - another company MD who can't even be arsed to reply to a simple email from his client so I'm trying to get out of my contract with them. They're publishers so currently they own all my music, I really wish I'd never fallen for all the shiny promises they made before I signed

I give up! Going to have a glass of vino later and just forget about work.

Bought one Gpant nappy to try; had a bit of a spectacular leak with this bambusa nappy earlier, wee everywhere and then DS weed all over the floor and his own socks whilst giggling! They're really absorbent but the outer isn't waterproof so if he does a big wee it just soaks through super fast. We're currently still on about 5 poos a day too

So tired I put an extra 'o' on to...

Will join you in bitching about doctors, leni. Doctor this morning said on the phone that he'd call me back when he'd checked some stuff out (ie googled reflux). 4pm I called the surgery and was told he was very busy today. 6pm receptionist rang and said he'll call in the morning. Meanwhile, we have managed to get nine ounces of milk down DD today, three of which she threw up. I am not impressed.

Stormy, that's awful. Don't really have anything useful to say except you are right to be angry, and at this stage to be worried about dd eating. Hope you can sort it out tomorrow. Does your area have an infant feeding coordinator? Could you ask your hv to refer you? Fx for progress tomorrow.

DS has been a bit grouchy today. Not really napping and quite unsettled. As have I after our Rayburn service has showed up some serious flaws with the way our hot water system is set up which looks set to be very expensive to rectify but is about basic safety so prob has to be done . Just when I was thinking that the finance looked sort of ok so far given the mat leave thing... Ugh.

Oh stormy, you must be so worried :(

Leni, that's rubbish! There should bead rip-in HV baby clinic near you though so perhaps you could go there instead of waiting for an 'official' visit?

Pud, DD has been grouchy too today, especially this evening. My nipples feel like they did a few weeks ago when she was cluster feeding as she hasn't been off me much. DH tried the bottle earlier this evening but in my eyes he still isn't doing it right. It's like getting them to latch on isn't it?

If only there was bottle feeding support like there is for BFing, where I could pop in somewhere, armed with a bottle of my finest, and get a counsellor to help me feed her. Would HVs do it? :(