March 2013: Smiles, sleep & excellent feeding.....the thread of wishful thinking!

[SoYo]

Well we may as well start the thread on a positive note before the grumbling about the little darlings begins!!!

How fancy Eig ...do tell us about it!

Yep she went back down at 11 after meltdown number 2 & woke up 15mins ago. I was lying here listening to her grumble when she had huge poo promptly followed by a 'mummy I'm starving & must be fed right this second' screaming hissy whie I changed her. The dog just looked up from her duvet at the bottom of the stairs in disgust when I walked past & turned away from the light!

Just lost massive catch up post and with it the will to type it again so hey and hope nights going well...

Plonko I'm actually phobic about leaving the house. No cues here either, he just starts going nuts from nowhere. The idea of him drawing attention in that way before I have to try and Bf in public? No way...

Wing i think i made up 3 hrs between feeds - at the moment I'm lucky to ho an hour without him attached.

plonko don't worry, we use the microwave too. It's a hell of a lot easier at silly o'clock in the morning! And during the day, too. So long as you give the bottle a damn good shake and let it sit for a minute before you check the temperature, it's fine. Oh, and don't tell the HV, obviously!

Know what you mean about feeling too young and poor for NCT classes. Not sure what I'd've got out of them aside from meeting other pregnant people anyway.

Wing the children's centre people were round here yesterday, and invited me to bring DD to sensory classes that basically involve dumping babies in a giant vat of baked beans. I think DD may be slightly young to get the full benefit of this...

I too fail at feeding while out and about. The only feeds she's ever had that weren't at home were at my dad's. I just take a bottle and a little tupperware tub with five scoops of formula with me.

So, 9pm, we reswaddled and offered a bottle. The bottle turned out to be a mistake, she drank two ounces then threw up. But then she went back to sleep, thankfully - I'd been horribly worried she wouldn't settle. Dream feed at 12.30 and she started shouting in her sleep at 4.45. Asleep again now. I don't know why I'm up still, I'm not on breakfast duty, I should be sleeping!

The last feed had a fairly epic screamy transfer fail, again just s I switched the light off but got her down 3hrs ago & she's just up so not too bad for us really. I'd like another couple of hours but we'll see. Busy day today, coffee with one friend in the morning & anther in the afternoon & at some point before Thursday I've gift to fit in some hair removal before getting into a swimming cossie!

Hey, I'm ancient and I didn't do NCT classes either.... and only this week resolutely failed to show up at the post natal ones that I assured the Health visitor I would definitely be going to. I'd do anything for DD, EXCEPT hang out with a load of other women that I have nothing in common with other than a saggy belly and smelly small person in tow. Doesn't make me a bad person.... theoretically .

I would go mad if I stayed in all day though, so I bung the munchkin in a sling and go for a stomp round the fields. I'm lucky in that my local friends are all dog walkers so are more than happy to join me, and talk about stuff other than babies, which is kind of cool. Fascinating though babies are I like to remember that once upon a time I had other interests.

Eig - don't keep us all in suspense!!! What was he like???!! I've always quite likes old Charlie boy. He reminds me of a cantankerous great uncle who's stuck in another era, but is quite amusing for it. Is it treason to say that? Probably.... in which MNHQ will rap my knuckles and delete me

Well DD went down at 2:40 and woke up at 5:30 so I fed her then she snoozed inefficiently on me till 6:30 when DS came in, awake and bouncy as usual

I've also got a busy day with HV and Dr this morning in the local town (25 min drive) then back home for a few hours and back to town for the post natal class. So one of those to-ing and fro-ing days.

Leni, I rememeber especially with DS what a massive sense of achievement I'd get just getting me and him out of the house. It sounds more like a phobia of feeding I'm public but I've only got used to doing it because I've had to IYKWIM. If DD needs feeding, how can I not do that for her? There will be bfing-friendly places near you eg most Costas have a bfing friendly sticker in the window. I always try to find a seat facing away from the room and the secret is to try to stay calm yourself - you know you can get DS latched on even if it takes a bit more of a gaff than normal (which it is) but if you can find a corner seat then you dot have to worry as much about anyone seeing a flash of nipple.

If you really can't do it in a cafe for example, you could find a hidden corner in a library or a baby group setting where really noone cares. In my town there is also a 'baby den' - a little room where anyone can drop in with their baby and feeding them and there are also scales. That's in the community hospital but there may be something similar in your local children's centre.

Really though, at the end of the day your mental health is paramount and honestly IMO, getting out and about will help far more and once you do have to feed a couple of times will help you too.

Stormy, baked beans?!

SoYo have a fun day :)

Eco ooh proper remote. I'm really just outside the peaks (near Matlock) but near enough to live in boots and a north face jacket. And I occasionally see ramblers (sticks and all) walking through my new build housing estate, which always makes me smile.

SoYo when do you sleep?! I'm amazed by your positivity (and ability to go out and drink coffee) when seem to get so little sleep. I'd have trouble not falling over in your situation!

Leni it's hard to imagine leaving the house when they go from 0-10 with no warning isn't it? We go to the park a lot because I'm not bothered about disturbing anyone there. Do you have one within walking distance? I must say I partly blame your batty neighbour for scaring you out of leaving the house. I hope she feels bad for making you lug a pushchair up and down stairs when your baby is tiny. Personally I'm trying to go out for lunch most Fridays with my mum. She's got balls enough for the both of us so when the inevitable happens I won't panic so much if she's with us.

Stormy HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hope you've had a good haul. my hv is trying to get me to various baby things. Maybe when he's bigger as for now being on time is a big deal. I do like the sound of baby swim class though as I'd get something g out of it too. Or maybe I could just cover DS in baked beans instead of paying a fiver for someone else to?

We went 7pm-5am here . I'm quite proud of my little chubster..

I've been to a couple of groups but its a bit odd... And didn't do nct as I don't like having other people's issues thrust at me. Did Nhs antenatal and they were a waste of time. Hate being reduced to just mummy, even I'd that is all I am just now.

Mind you, I've booked some kit days at work. First is 5th June which I expect will fly round. Sort of looking forward to it immensely and also terrified that I will have forgotten everything about my job, and will feel I've left a limb at home. Plus will have to work out expressing in the office somehow.

Going out is stressy and throws out the whole day. And I can feed in public now, but finding somewhere isn't always easy when you're not in a big town. Have tried back of the car though which works in extremis.

Vj know what you mean about independent LO. I am very slightly sad at how mummy hugs are very rarely comforting here, no, the problem has to be solved more precisely than that.

Leni, I reckon you should go round to mad neighbour and ask a favour - as you can't keep the buggy in the hall and your doc doesn't recommend carrying heavy weights yet could you possibly store it in her house and pick it up on your way out? Show cute baby and look exhausted while smiling sweetly. Or could she give you a hand carrying it up and down the stairs? Reckon you could get on to asking permission to store it under the stairs if landlord agreed and shed struggle to argue in front of you. Would others in the bui.ding have a prob do you think?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STORMY

Plonko that sounds like a good night, well done! Madam usually has a lie-in in our bed from 6-8/9 which is my equivalent of daytime naps & gives me enough snooze to get through the day! I'd rather be more tired & get adult conversation than get a nap but feel like I've been trapped in all day & have no idea what to do with her to entertain her! Bad mummy but it works for me!

Hope everyone has a lovely day.

And happy birthday Stormy! Sorry that bit got eaten earlier... Have a fab day.

Happy birthday Stormy just think, once upon a time you were a baby too! Haha

DS wanted feeding almost every hour last night. Not making my going out aspirations any more likely because he literally can't be off the boob unless he's had a bottle and I'm only doing that in desperate situations.

If I had family nearer I'd be out a lot, but wandering further than the park (which we do in the sling) especially with the threat of rain seems like more stress than I can take without having had any sleep!

Thinking of going car shopping so then I can drive to local nature reserves etc where it's not crowded and BFing/screaming isn't an issue.

DS has no idea how much mental anguish goes on! He's been all smiles this morning apart from the random moments where he just starts screaming after smiling a second earlier. What does it mean?!

It's like talking to Lassie sometimes - he permanently looks like he's about to speak whilst gesturing wildly but I never know what he wants

Oh and it's fire regs with the pram, but plants don't count... If you're an old bitter woman who wants to own the building. How a pram under the stairs is a fire hazard I don't know

Happy birthday stormy! I hope you have a day of good napping and perfect feeds!

So yesterday was weird... Having only very vaguely catnapped a couple of times in the morning, I took DD into work at 3.30. I was convinced she was going to kick off, she didn't even sleep in the car on the way despite a couple of "I'm tired" shouts. An hour long meeting where she just sat and quietly listened (clearly she finds national curriculum changes fascinating) then a wonderful moment when she shat noisily just at the point where a particularly odious member of senior management started talking. She smiled (and dare I say giggled?) at all the right people, wide awake all the way home. By which point I'm freaking out about witching hour. Still no sleep by bath time, but still very happy...even when getting out of the bath- unheard of. Bit grumbly but that was just because she was disappointed in having a bottle instead of boob and is normal. Up at 2.20 and 5.20 but then we both went back to sleep until 8.45! And now- get this- she's NAPPING on her OWN in her COT. And I'm enjoying a coffee.

Is it a worrying sign that when I made my coffee I caught myself thinking "I wish it was 7.30pm because then this could be wine..."

VJ time means nothing - wine, coffee, what's the difference? I jest... (Obviously)

Thank you, ladies. Birthday going well so far - I have wine, flowers, chocolates, and a couple of Pratchetts. And DD had a proper nap! 8.45 until 10.30! I am astounded. Unexpected side effect of comfort milk, perhaps?

Happy birthday stormy!

Ok well got introduced to Charles who was charming, did my courtesy then we discussed his garden at Highgrove, then he asked as I wasn't a teacher ( it was an education event) was I a banker ( with a laugh) I said no I was an accountant and tapped his shoulder in a jokey way like I was an old friend, we then discussed the merits of good accountants! Apparently my husband plus security were a bit tarn a back by the shoulder pat and I have no idea why I was acting like Charles was an old friend I can only blame my first glass of champagne for a year and the fact I am constantly patting a baby. He must have been ok with it as he chatted to us for a while.

I came home at 11 and baby had finished bottle and was in bed. Totally forgot to war her to feed her and went in at 7.30 to a smiling baby. I won't let that happen again as she isn't big enough yet but what an evening. Can't stop smiling today!
Just catching up on all your news...!

vj with my little bit mummy hugs were and still are super important now ( he is three) but he totally wasn't interested at under 6 months!

Classes can be a good idea but I found the only thing DS got out of them was germs so giving them a miss with DD til we get to 16 weeks and have all our first jabs out of the way. I did baby swimming with DS starting at 17 weeks and he loved it. Huggies do great swim nappies and you put them in baby then put swimsuits on top. We did it pre lunchtime nap and he always slept over 2 hours on swim days at lunch!

Happy birthday stormy - sorry its a bit late.

I feel crap tonight. I'm the most tired I've felt since DD was born. She refused the bottle off DH earlier this evening but I'm not happy with how he does it eg keeps going even when she's upset and she's not yet learnt to take it in her mouth properly. I'd expressed 3 oz for the first time this morning too so I'm guessing its wasted - would it last till tomorrow if she's already had 0.5oz and goes back in the fridge or do I have to bin it?

HV and GP were fine this morning. DD's now 10lb 9oz.
Post natal group was nice too. Just four of us and two of the other three have already got older sons so that's nice.

But one thing they were telling us was about the SIDS risk and sleeping on the sofa with DD raises the risk by 50x. Apparently that even includes daytime naps or the evenings. I thought it was just when you are lying down (say) on the sofa for the night with the baby like cosleeping. Even having her upright in the middle of my chest counts as bad :(

So right now I feel like I can't have a nap with her and she will only really sleep on me or him, in the sling or in the car or buggy and DH can't give me a break by giving her a bottle for me.

Someone cheer me up please?

Wing I put the bottle back in the fridge in that case. I'm sure it doesn't fit with ideal guidelines but I've decided it's ok with me! I also do napping with her on my chest on the sofa. I know it's against the guidelines but I've never fallen solidly asleep & every time she stirs I'm wide awake. I know that it's a risk but as far as I can tell the only way for baby to nap that isn't I'd on their cot/basket & DD won't play ball with that so I've had to decide which risks I'm willing to take to keep her & my sanity. I've gone for a couple of hours in bed co-sleeping in the morning (I keep duvet & pillows but just have them as far out of her way as I can) & on my tummy on the sofa. It'll be different for all of us but it doesn't make any of us bad parents!

Leni would buying a cheap ish umbrella fold buggy that lies flat (eBay?) work for you? It's be light enough to carry downstairs with one hand with bubs in sling? As for public BFing, what do you wear? I go for top over vest with one up, one down so not flashing belly & before the first time I latched her on while watching in the mirror so I knew you couldn't see anything, even when she fussed. The only person that sees nipple is you. That may not help at all but I was just trying to think about options. Hope I'm not being annoying.

Eig I can't believe you patted Charlie on the shoulder! Hilarious! Sounds like a good night. Very impressive!

Just took bubs in her sling for a walk with the dog & she screamed the whole way around the block. My DM rang while we were walking & helpfully suggested she might need feeding...if only I'd considered that! I mean she had been fed an hour before, I had the dog with me & was 2mins from home but obviously a good mother would have whipped a boob out then and there !

Right, bubs is asleep on my chest, pup's asleep on the sofa so I'm going to catch up on Neighbours my fave guilty pleasure.

Thanks SoYo.

Eig I forgot to say how brilliant you & Charlie being bessie mates sounds!

I will happily put a bottle of ebm back in the fridge to be used later that evening, but I don't use it the next day-reason you're told not to us that bacteria from their mouth will have got into the bottle and possibly multiplied. But it's probably fine just me being over cautious!

With anti SIDs advice, I've tried to look into the reasons for the advice so I can make my own decision. For example swaddling is not advised, but that's because they can get too hot, so I just made sure I was happy with DD's temperature. Anyone know the reasoning behind the sofa thing? Can you eliminate that risk?

VJ the reason behind the sofa thing is that babies are much more likely to get trapped down sides/back or get their airways squashed against cushioned surfaces that stop their breathing than they are on a flat, firm bed mattress.

The other option (& the one I take when I'm downstairs & really bloody exhausted & scared I won't feel her move) is lying on the floor with cushions for pillows.

Yes I've just thought though that the sofa thing is when we sleep as well as DC sleeping, not just when the DC isa slipping on us on the sofa?

My lovely GP told me tonight basically to ignore all the conflicting advice that HVs, MWs, the Internet and books give out and just to go with a mum's instinct and whatever works for us and our families. He told me this before the children's centre staff went through the SIDS risks (which I thought I knew already) but I would do well to heed his advice I think.

I have painful blanched nipples tonight as she won't stop feeding/comfort suckling tonight. I'm going to try to shush & rock her to sleep soon in her basket to try to engineer a break...