November 2012 - The new quiche sleepy dust crop-sprayer plane seems to be working

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1725957-November-2012-Poor-sleep-deprived-mummies-and-daddy

Yes, daily grind, the realisation that this is my life now, some family stuff which I won't go into on here and a few minor annoyances at DH which, although nothing in themselves and aren't even deliberate, reinforce the feeling I have of being shite at pretty much everything, which is a childhood thing I have never been able to shake off completely, and a sudden hatred, and I mean real hatred, of this lovely house which we only moved into last year but moving again would be a big expense.

Thin walls mean when it is cold outside it is impossible to keep warm, but as soon as tehre is a bit of sun it is too hot to sleep. Dreading the summer.

It is overrun with sodding spiders.

The sodding black bathroom suite which is impossible to keep clean and which smirks at me every morning once DH has shaved and cleaned his teeth as if to say 'my role in life is to ensure you start every one of your mornings with a burst of almost uncontrollable rage when you see me'

The garden is as un child proof as possible to be and I am damned if I am spending the money needed to make it childproof (thousands) That said DD1 has worked out how to open the back door and I don't know how to childproof it. So I am constantly aware that she can run out at any time and injure herself. at least the landlord thought to cover the sodding well, but I don't really trust the cover. I want to move house but there is nothing out there which we can afford plus is suitable, though I wouldn't mind moving into a flat in town but that would mean rehoming the animals. Which to be honest would be no bad thing.

This cold/tooth/ear ache is making me snappy with the children, which makes me loathe myself.

Anyway, it will pass.

And there are days I just want to walk away. But I couldn't do that to them. So I won't. But I feel stuck. Andthat's not their fault.

And before you all start worrying this whole feeling goes on for several days a month then passes.

PR make him shave in a basin

Breakdown bad days into hours and if not hours then minutes - really bad days break into seconds

My dh uses a mug for the shaving gubbings - sink survives

PR I have days like this too where nothing in my world is right. This house is far too big and expensive for us. The garden isn't how I want it. And don't get me started on the colour of the sodding carpet! I find it helps to focus on the things I do have though. In terms of the house, we have a decent roof over our heads in a safe and lovely area. My daughter is living in a warm house and we are close to the sea.

I catch myself sometimes looking back at my pre mummy life and really missing it.

I can't remember the last time I cleaned the sink though

My man child shaves in the shower and leaves shaving stuff everywhere. He also leaves leg and chest hairs all over the bath hairy fucker. It drives me mad

And how the hell am I ever going to persuade DD1 that sleeping in her own bed is a good idea when DH uses it as a threat when she doesn't settle in ours? And I don't know how many times I have told him that it just isn't on to threaten her with her own bed. Brick fucking wall.

Shaving OK could be done elsewhere but teeth cleaning and hand washing can't. I wouldn't bother if it wasn't black and just looks filthy after every single use.

I miss my pre mummy life a LOT. And pre pet life. But I wouldn't be without any of them so just have to suck it up. I am not a natural mum, by any means. Some of it I am good at, but I am naturally impatient person and I feel like life has slowed down so much but I don't even get chance to finish a fucking book.

I know that in a couple of years it will be easier and I'll have loads of time on my hands, and I'll regret not enjoying every moment of their babyness.

Oh and I wish my DH wouldn't scrunch his towel up. I have timed it. It takes 8 seconds to fold the towel and hang it on the rail. I know I should just leave it and ignore, butnsince I am at home all the time it bugs me every time I see it scrunched up over the rail.

You see? Rally petty things being turned into something I feel I have to post about? Pathetic.

I fucking hate PMT.

And the whole rtw thing is getting to me. I'm not going back, but would if it wasn't for my boss making it fairly clear that she doesn't want me back. We don't get on. Plus I am worried about putting the two of them into daycare with everything that has been going on for them healthwise.

But not being wanted back at work really stings. I gave so much to that company then she was hired during ly last maternity leave and turned it from a place I loved to a daily nightmare.

PR we moved into our 'forever home' last June and some days I really, really hate it. I hate the fact it has no character (what 60s semis do??!), I hate the fact there is SO MUCH TO DO. The shower is shite. The kitchen sink is stained & leaky. Sometimes it is hard to remember why we chose it. But the location is perfect; my Dsis, DM & DF, PIL and the DC's DGreatGPs all live within 1.5m walk. Plus a great school is close by. Plus the estate is like a village, with shops, library, leisure centre & play park. And its easy for both DH & I to get to work. But in those moments when I can't wash the fucking ton of hair falling out of my head off my body because the shower is about as useful as half a dozen people spitting on me wind me up SO much. It's pathetic perhaps, and without undermining your sentiments, I empathise!!

pp my dsis has had her benefits stopped because her youngest has turned 5. I mean, literally overnight. She has difficulty getting work for various reasons, not least her middle dc's illness. Trying to get DLA for that is impossible apparently. Trying to put in honest claims for support is nigh-on impossible, esp when the staff keep telling her the wrong thing!! They also require her to get into debt BEFORE they'll help and it'll take 8-12wks to process her jsa claim, despite being forced to claim it by THEM!! It's stupid and as I said to her, the gov't want to discourage 'a benefits culture' but those people, the people where generations of a family are on benefits, KNOW HOW TO WORK THE SYSTEM, so they aren't actually affected by the changes. The people who genuinely need help and are in difficult circs don't know HOW to work the system so CAN'T get help they need!! I don't think benefits should be a lifestyle (I know kids from school where in their family it is, & boy is it hard to motivate them to work well!! Then complain they've only got a 4 bed house & can't afford to buy a pen or pencil ) but it should be a safety net for those that need it. In all, its shit :(

DS had some baby porridge (I bought the Ella's kitchen one so I could add bm, as the others have f in them & I didn't want to add that as a new 'food') after a big bf and then starred at me whilst I ate my breakfast. Then complained until I fed him again. Piggy.

I am thankful I have a lovely, happy, chubby, greedy baby boy. And I have my cheeky, funny, imaginative, slender DD.

I am thankful its sunny today.

I am thankful that I live where I do, even if its not my dream home.And that I don't have to stress about mortgage payments & the like as DH & I get paid relatively well.

I'm thankful the orangeish bit on DS's temple isn't a bruise I missed, but possibly food I failed to clean up or dripped on him during a feed .

Oh I know all about the pathetic things my DH does too PR.

Like put the keys less than 6in away from the key holder BUT NOT ON IT.

Leave contents of pockets everywhere and anywhere but crucially, NOT ALL TOGETHER. In little piles. Everywhere.

The side of his bed is FULL of his discarded clothing, both clean & dirty, half read books & magazines. I wouldn't even go there but he's next to the window & never, EVER, opens them. Ever.

He cherry-picks which bits of washing up to do although I am thankful he does actually do washing up and so things stay there for days.

He leaves stubble all over the bath. Although the shower makes it v hard to wash away, so I forgive him that one. But still hate it.

Oh PR I don't know what to say. You write so well and anything I say will sound shit in comparison. Just to say though that I completely understand the feelings of wanting to walk away sometimes.

The benefits issue worries me too. I am likely to find myself a single parent soon so am going to need to rely on some state help until I can find another job.

I am lucky in that I am not particularly career minded. I love being a mummy and would happily become a SAHM if circumstances allowed.

I'm probably more messy and scruffy than dh - just didn't notice before because I was out all day. We are now in the house together - he works from home - utter chaos - one way or another stuff gets sorted

Leaves shoes 2ft away from the shoe rack in the hall. Then amasses a collection of about 5 pairs of trainers there that I end up putting on the rack and/or away.

The coat on the bannister.Well, the newl post actually, as I have since discovered, there is no part of the stairs called the bannister - its a hand rail, newl post, spindles etc.

The bag left wherever there's a flat surface.

I could go on.

And on and on and on.

I won't for fear of boring you all to death.

He always leaves the tea towel screwed up on the side - just hang it up FFS. As I am home every day I notice all the little things and they really piss me off.

I could write pages living with a South African man. Suffice to say he is a lazy toad used to having everything done for him and everything picked up for him.

App ate my post again!!! Fucking thing!! I wrote a load too!

Trying to write LO schedule out for mum and DP when I am away for two weekends next month. Suddenly realise how much I do on automatic pilot and also all the side notes about take purée out now so it's defrosted by X time and make 2 more bottles up now following the instructions previous! Now nervous about leaving him!

Anyone using the app, my top tip is if you write a long post, before you send, just hit the screen twice and Select All/Copy. Then if it loses your post you can just repost. It only takes a second but saves a lot of frustration.

Pikz, I could say the same endless stuff about my husband, but he's not South African. Just a bit overprivileged. He's got a lot better since we met but if we didn't have a cleaner our relationship would have been over long long ago.

I am very thankful I discovered decaf millicano coffee. I have been of anyone drinking it but now I can too!!!