November 2012 - GTbaby is back! Hooray hooray!

[StuntNun]

And she only missed 10,000 posts!

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1717592-November-2012-Were-ready-for-Spring-any-time-now-please

Oh no Clarella big hugs to you too

Hello just caught up!! Lovely to hear everyone's news of carrots, cheese, fanjos (both well behaved and otherwise), great toddler taming tips and refluxers on the mend. Happy Birthday for tomo MM - good effort there by your DP - and perfect weather for al fresco dining .

Chasing big hugs, and don't sweat about depression or self harm - SS wouldn't separate O from you for that - for cohabiting with a violent man, especially once (and sadly it's more likely when than if) he hurts O - then they may take him off you two if you stay as a couple - that's far more likely than taking him off you as a single mum.

We've had a horrific couple of days, J's fever got so high he was floppy and just staring into space. On the advice of NHS24 we upped the ante from calpol to ibuprofen. Seriously anyone with a reflux baby DON'T GIVE THEM IBUPROFEN!!!!! Refluxaggedon and feeding strike (with tail end of a fever) for 12 hours. Screaming hysterically and pushing me away - I was heartbroken. We slowly got him to eat by waiting til he was asleep and putting norkage in his mouth - and he instinctively suckled. It's taken a day of this - some 2 days after fecking brufen for him to stop unlatching with a scream. If we could get more than 4 hours sleep tonight that will be wonderful.

Yesterday I was just holding a screaming baby for 16 hours solid - I shit you not - anyone who thinks reflux is over egged would seriously have got GBH from me .

Today has been lovely - a complete sea change: 9am OOH appointment resulted (FINALLY FUCKING FINALLY!) in a paediatrician referral for his reflux; we got the new house keys and wandered round it excitedly making plans (its so huge and lovely) and we went round antique shops looking for stuff and have had venison stew for tea. The wee man is getting back to himself but a bit strung out so let's see how this bedtime feed goes

I just have to write this down,
n has been by grumpy, crying/ screaming in the afternoons for two days in a row. I can't believe I was angry at him, a 6 month old baby! I was so cross, that I couldn't have my feet sorted without him doing this. Then I was mad at me, for FFS he's a six month old baby!! How could I be so selfish!
Then my mum manged to settle him, which made me more cross at me, why can't I settle him? I'm his mum, if anyone is surposed to calm him it's me.. His mum. But no, not me.. Even his dad manged to stop him crying.
I was just so mad, and disappointed at me.

Evil

evil in the depths of yesterday, when I was in a place where dark thoughts abounded, F wouldn't stop crying so I shouted "shut up." She did, and beamed at me. I felt like shit. You're not the only one having those feelings. Not proud of myself

oh evil. sometimes it's really hard cos we feel we should be the experts. we have a thing at work (sen teaching) called 'fresh facing'. sometimes we and they simply need a 'fresh face' to calm down, someone different and THAT'S OK. it was a revelation when I learnt about that at work. particularly that it was a good thing and actively encouraged rather than an indication that you're a total failure. both dh and I often fresh face. it gives you a chance to calm/ timeout and also watch what it is that the other person is doing to calm baby/child. dh had to learn it wasn't an indication he was crap too. also, babies and children often take out their frustration with the person they feel most comfortable/ safe with. sometimes it really is just plain fucking hard and we can't be calm and serene all the time. you're still human.

oh yellow wellies that sounds both horrendous but also good news too. hope lo continues to calm

loving the app

About 9 hours (of screaming) into yesterday I screamed at the bear that I had to put him down to go to the loo and get dressed - it was after lunch (yesterday started verrrry early). He looked so startled and sad I felt like such a shit. Yesterday was easily the hardest day I've had with the peedie dot.

Told DH - he was so sweet about it and told me to go easy on myself - lots of people might react physically to that situation but I'm still not proud.

BPLP I hear you honey - until you've had a reflux full on screamathon no one can sit smug and think 'I wouldn't do that' - your darling baby crying in pain and anger that you just can't stop, all day, all night - it takes you to your wit's end and waaaaaaay beyond. Evil N sounds so similar - don't beat yourself up. xxxx

Feed going really well - no fussing. Wish me luck we're over the worst.

Thanks, big pig and clarella.
Sorry to read about all the bad nights and times.

Evi l

yellow my heart goes out to you. I'm sorry I have no words or advice. The only thing that has made me better is chocolate.

Evil

YW the feeding is such an issue too with the reflux - she's clearly hungry but it must be hurting her to swallow, so she's yanking on and off, and gulping loads of air as a consequence. Really hope you're over the worst now xx

Gah evil chocolate is the ONE THING THAT CANNOT BE EATEN

thanks for hugs pikz - I'm good it's just hit me that I'm frequently feeling a bit like when I've got the most noisy difficult class in the school and you spend a year cringing and feeling like a failure every time you go into assembly/trip/swimming/corridors/playtime/lunch time etc every time lo is a bit whingy and basically babyfied. I need to get over it. we don't have anything like the reflux yw and bplp describe nor anything nasty like bronchilitis others have had and dh needs to get over the fact lo sleeps for 2 hours only at mo. (In fact he doesn't realise how utterly lucky we are) the tongue tie carry on, including refluxy stuff was a tad shit and exhausting but ok now though I think there's a bit again. its always after jabs actually

thinking of you chasing hope you're ok?

bplp that's exactly what we get and had tonight.

Clarella just check how long he is feeding for. J would feed for five minutes just to get himself back to sleep. I laid down the law saying after his dream feed I would only feed him once after 1.30 and once after 4 a.m. and it's been working fine.

J is over his nursing strike PHEW! We went swimming and he was far too tired so I think he wanted a comfort suck. Then about 5 he had a huge feed for about an hour so making up for lost time. He's just had a top up there and is hopefully out for the count but I'm yet to transfer. DH is taking the night shift tonight so hopefully I will be able to sleep well on the air bed. There's only 7 oz of EBM though so if J wants more than one feed he'll have to come and wake me. My second night of sleep since J was born awaits! Let's hope I'm not cold and uncomfortable fucking sciatica like last time. I have extra blankets and a hot water bottle all ready.

Big witchy hug to you Evil my dear. Chocolate would have been amazing. I've not been so tempted to restart smoking as yesterday - but knew that wouldn't really have helped as I don't want to be that Mum with the nervous twitch desperate for a safe min to nip out for a ciggy or worse do it around them and give him asthma. I lost my mum young it sucks - I don't want that for him hence quitting.

I never thought I'd be happy to say this but woo hoo he's been feeding for over an hour - get in there sunshine! We were looking hospitalisation and tube feeding in the face in the wee small hours when on the phone to OOH. The thought of BF ending like that had me in tears - as much as I whinge I'm so glad we can still do this together. I'm going for a year if I can.

I'm still convinced it was the magic of the OOH docs appt which ended the feeding strike - he loves to make us out to be liars!

evil it happens to all of us. O was screaming a couple of weeks ago literally all day and I got very tired and screamed back. She got frightened, I won't forget her face. I kept saying sorry to her after and gave her calpol. She wAs out within a min. It made me feel shit that she probably wasn't feeling well and the only person she could have got reassurance lost her temper. Now if she is very unsettled I give her calpol or put her on boob, usually one will sort the problem out.

Clarella post jags and post virus reflux can last a long time after reflux has gone. Hope the wee poppet surprises you all with a longer stretch to show off to BIL.

Gosh I came on here to say how rubbish and short tempered I've been with L and how guilty I feel and it seems I'm not the only one. Not that I'm pleased any of you are having a hard time but it is a relief to feel that it's 'normal'. Evil .

YW that sounds awful. Reflux is a bastard.

Clarella that is one of the most helpful posts I've ever read with the fresh face thing. Really gave me some clarity and made me feel less crap about DH being able to soothe him when I can't. I've also been feeling like mine is the noisy baby and was hyper aware of every grizzle when we were with the ILs. So you have my sympathies.

Wow, so many of you are having a hard time, big hugs to you all, det, chasing, yw, bplp, clarella, evil and I just know I've missed someone, But can't stick to my plan of using the app alongside safari, cos its playing up. I feel really bad for whinging on fb about e's feeding now, when it could be worse!

Hope you enjoy your sleep stunt :)

Have ordered a baby walker and high chair now. Figured I'll need them at some point. Hoping to fuckery I have more success with weaning than bottle feeding.

Gonna fuck off and eat chocolate and stop being such a miserable cow

Ooh stunt that sounds lovely. Our bed has lovely clean sheets on, which dried on the line today.

Clarella could you try some gaviscon? When F had reflux before, it never ever affected her feeding like this, which is probably why it didn't cross my mind until yesterday.

I'm so glad to hear that other people have lost their temper/patience too, I feel so guilty about yesterday. I have to keep reminding myself that she of course will never remember me shouting, and in fact found it funny. I was beginning to question whether the way I was feeling was depression rather than just sleep deprivation yesterday, but luckily after last nights sleep, I feel much better - not back to normal - and hopeful that things will continue to improve. It was a horrible reminder of a not very nice time of my life, several years ago now; not a way I want to feel again.

P.s. I have the noisy one too! I am so like that msjupiter I am aware of every whinge when visiting people/having people round. I try so hard not to lose my temper, have had to place him beside me for a moment before now and gather myself better to deal with things. Makes me feel so rubbish but sometimes it's the best thing I can do, just for a tiny moment

Good luck stunt!

Gosh some of our babies are giving us a hard time just now.

I am really pleased to hear you have a referral YW. I honestly believe that the quickest way for your baby to get seen is for them to drop centiles. P was referred back the other day because she is dropping. She is generally a bouncy, happy, cheerful wee sausage but feeding is still is fecking nightmare. I have just put her to bed having managed to get all of 19oz in her all day. Exactly as BP describes it is the gulp, gulp, whimper, face screws up, gulp, pull off, screeeaaaaam! I was upstairs with her trying to persuade her to take just one more oz and ended up stomping my feet. Proper tantrum. It is so frustrating when you can do so little to help them. We have got back to the stage where going out and needing to feed her is a big anxiety inducing. Bring on the Pom bears!

Thank you all for your day nap wear. I went into mark and Spencer's today as we have vouchers - one single sleeping bag. That was it. Boots had some but all 2.5. Sainsbury's have some 1 tog ones so I will pick one up.

Well done on the high chair sophia. Woot to winning.

I am also loving the fresh face idea

pass I tried to feed F today in a cafe. 4 hours since last feed + weeks of snacking + baby pulling off + v enthusiastic letdown = big fuck off mess. Fed her in the car after that.

Blimey. Cross posted with you YW it sounds like you have had a hell of a time. P is also a fan of the happy, relaxed, feet grabbing whilst in the docs with me claiming she is poorly. I might take her daily. I am so pleased to read that you have managed to get a good feed into him. He is probably absolutely starving. Fingers crossed he sleeps like an angel with a full belly.