November 2012 - GTbaby is back! Hooray hooray!

[StuntNun]

And she only missed 10,000 posts!

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1717592-November-2012-Were-ready-for-Spring-any-time-now-please

Ah chasing don't let him make you feel this way. I'll tell you who needs a mother and that is your O. Do what you need to do in your own time. You have the full weight of, I don't know, about 35ish people on this group. We can encourage and support and virtual hand-hold but what we can't do is live a day in your shoes. I am worried that you are worried you can't act on advice here and that you might stop coming back. Please don't do that. Take each day as it comes and hold very tightly the absolute incontrovertible truth that as O's mum noone can replace you or do a better job.

Come here every day, as often as you can and need to and just blether, sound off, virtually cry or whatever else you need to do.

But do not let him persuade you that you are and will not be wanted, needed and loved.

Evening Ladies,

So o was awake at 3.30ish last night and refused to sleep after. Happily singing in her cot to Ewan. At 5.30 I gave up and put her next to me, she thought it was hilarious. I did not. She was very tired today and I only let her nap 30 min longer than usual, i need her to sleep tonight.

fatimaso sorry. I trully hope he will find a job quickly.

sophia hugs

chasing where are you? Are you and Oscar safe? I keep thinking about you.

pass good news on fanjo.

I ate an apple today and gave a piece to O to try. She went mental when I refused to give her more. So i stewed one and she was so happy. Maybe the night time wakings are because she is ready for solids? I will try slowly but don't want to rush things, she is only 20 weeks.

chasing you do not need a man or a job to be happy. What if the bottle had hit O? How often do we read of parents or carers who lose their temper and shake or beat a baby to death? He cannot control his temper. He is violent. It will get worse. How will you feel when O is hurt by him? I am sorry if that is harsh of me, but I am concerned. It will happen one day. He will hurt O one day, and YOU are the only one who can protect him - by leaving the bastard x

What is it with babies finding things which are the opposite of hilarious, hilarious? P should have been napping earlier but instead was flinging herself around the cot like a bliddy dolphin. Whenever I went in to see what on earth she was up to she would giggle with delight. Wasn't so fecking funny at the back of 7 when she looked like she might expire from tiredness and I still had to put her jammies on and Dh wanted to take pictures

X post with chasing. You don't need a man to be happy and you def don't need him in your life. You might be a single mother but not necessary a depressed one, just eliminate the cause! The bond and the love between you and Oscar will heal you, he is the best medication for you.

chasing this is not the way your life has to be! You have a little boy who depends on you for everything, including giving him a happy safe home. We are all here for you, no matter what you decide to do. All we can do is try and give you advice. No one is here to judge, just support and help. Xx

Jacob has a new best friend, and its name is carrot. Proper baby bird open mouth, both arms waggling, lip smacking, giggles, and tears when I said he had had enough. Two cubes of purée! I think he had a bit of a tummy ache afterwards though.

chasing you won't be depressed forever - like you said before, before ex-p came along you were happy. And there are lots of men out there who will recognise what an amazing thing a mum is, and one of them will be the one who loves you for it and can give you a loving, caring relationship like you deserve.

pass today has been the absolute pits, but F is now in bed, gaviscon in her tummy, and on a nice incline. I am keeping everything crossed that this helps for tonight. I'm not sure why I hadn't thought of the reflux as contributing until today - probably too sleep-fugged to think straight.

mm made a decision yet??? Spring rolls

Vq - I gave dh 5 hrs notice so he could prepare himself - both baby and dh did very well without me.

Lily thank you for thinking of me, I often think of you and I remember you describing the bond you have with your O.

pass your lovely words made me feel very emotional, I do worry that I will/have let you all down. I almost didn't post tonight but part of me knows that the more open I am the more real it will be and I won't be able to hide from it.

VQ You are of course right. That was hard to read, but necessary. When I was pregnant I was determined that motherhood would be one thing I would not fail at. I know if I stay I have failed him.

I am just scared of rocking the boat with him. He has seen me at my very lowest, I used to self harm and my depression has been very bad. I'm scared he could use this against me with social services and make me out to be an unfit mother.

Chasing I know these are just words, but trust me, as someone who has seen the worst kinds of parents who are out there, thanks to working in some rough areas, self-harm and depression categorically do not make you a bad mum. They make you a mum who needs help herself, which you are seeking.

VQ the Independent news app is free and very good. Unless you prefer the Mail

Ladies and Luis, I don't want to teach you to suck eggs, but after HOURS of screaming babyness I remembered a newborn thing this evening, which is working, at 24 weeks: skin to skin

Still works.

Self harming does not make someone a bad mother. Being depressed does not either although it does need addressing for everyone's benefit. He is a bad father and a bad parent. That is clear. We will support you whatever you decide and will be here for you x

chasing O was a very much wanted baby, we tried for 3 years. I fall pregnant a month after OH got sick, he used to tell me that his health had to go in order to gain something better, her. She only has me and I mustn't fail her. And yes. Our bond is strong as there is no one else here who she can rely on when hungry, sad, hurt, upset, happy, etc. And the same with me, she is like a drug who makes me feel strong and content.

And you all took the piss for my carrots and I mean you vq

Just watch the constipation

chasing what are you going to do then? You know you culd be a very happy single mother.

pass it was just a really hard day. DS1 has not fully recovered from his flu and is very clingy, fragile and tantrumy. Little Oliver does have a tendency to be a bit needy on occasion, but hey, he's a baby he is allowed. He is full of cold and possible teething (but you never really know that till later whenst he tooth appears do you!) so he was up a lot in the night last night when he has been sleeping through from 7pm (bar a dream feed at 10:00) since he was 8 weeks. So that was a massive shock to the system. So was not on top form today.onviouslyit is Easter hols and so I have had all 4 of them at home stuck in the house all week.

Anyway the two boys tag teamed the lunch time session which I really need to recharge, cleanup from the morning, tighten my braces and be ready for the afternoons activities. ( I have a 2 hour quiet time for all of them from 12-2 so the boys snooze and the girls watch a film). As the day had begun with me feeling that I was going to struggle to get to the end of the day this was so much not needed.

Then the only DRs appointment I could get was 5:40 right in the middle of the winding down session.

I did an hour at the park. Tea.packed my bag up with a feed for O and tucked it in the warm Compartment and off we trooped. They all did me proud at the DRs I would not choose to drag them all down there but I had no choice as Dh wasn't home. They behaved like the gorgeous perfect (but ginger) family in the waiting room. Te rash is a flare up of Mailda's eczema which could have been exacerbated by a new shampoo I got this week. She has said to continue with the Aveeno to keep her comfy and perscribed some hydrocortisone. Which is pretty run of the mill.

They have done a great going to bed to tonight and DH went out and got me a lamb Bhuna. He is dream feeding tonight so i am going to snuggle in ith my book when I have caught up with Fred.

Xxx

One positive is that the depression is lifting. I can feel the meds working already.

I am taking steps towards being independent, very small ones, but they give me a tiny bit more confidence. This week I took O to the doctors by myself. All other appointments, jabs etc, I have had someone else with me as I had to rely on people for lifts. I actually enjoyed it, nice long walk there and back, etc and I felt like I could do it alone.

This is a tiny part of parenting though and I know I need to move out. I don't want to use the DV as the reason though, if that makes sense. I worry that if I use that as the reason to try and get housed etc, then he will try and use anything he can to get at me. At

I would rather treat it as a 'normal' break up. I need to look into the practicalities of applying for benefits and finding somewhere to live which will accept HB as rent. I think I will need to be out of this flat before I can receive any benefits, but I will need the benefits to be able to afford to live somewhere else! I only have a very limited amount of savings.

Oh chasing, I wish I could come over, and give you a huge big hug. Your in such a difficult place, it's no wonder you feel the way you do. You do need to move out, if to for you, do it for O.

big I hope things have gotten better, and you've manged to get some rest.

Evil

chasing you can do this. Women's Aid can help you. Please ring them. We are here.

Bplp sorry it's been such a bad day. Call in any help you can to get some rest.

Hello everyone else. Am sure I meant to say more.

Ah yes! vq free apps I like are wunderlist, moves, myfitnesspal, white noise, splash path (if you swim), mapmywalk,zoopla for property porn, and hipstamatic(like Instagram but no signing up). Will think of others.
Mx

Great news on the fanjo pass

bplp I hope you get a good sleep to tonight. ((Hugs))

That's everyone for your words through the day. I did keep looking and it did buoy me up. So

Xx

Oh, and N is six months today!!!!!
Evil

Ooo and hope the move has gone well yw and mm nothing better than a bit of solitary take out porn. If you remember when we were all preggers and Dh went with DS1 to Northern Ireland and I did Dominos AND fish and chips. I think that was the day of the great November quiche Dominos fest!

sophia you made it through the day! There was a thread somewhere on my where someone's mantra was 'everyone fed, no one dead'. I find two hard so am full of admiration for those with more.

Happy new home yw.

Today at just over 20 weeks J had his first taste of formula milk... and loved it! Chugged the whole carton the wee rascal! I am redundant.

Sorry to hear about everyone's bad days. Hope there's a glimmer of sunshine in amongst the tough times.