I don?t think I?ve posted since the beginning of the antenatal thread but have been keeping up with the thread so thought it really was about time I posted rather than just lurked! Plus I saw a mention of possible Guildford meetup which is where we are moving to in a couple of weeks- slightly scary prospect since where we live now I have formed a good circle of mum friends through nct etc whilst we don?t know anyone in Guildford. Nct was a good way of meeting new mums with ds as it?s a pre?-formed group but feel quite daunted about having to do it on my own now especially since I look closer to 18 than the 30 yrs I?m actually turning next year which I find makes people pre judge you before they get to know you and realise.
I had my little girl on the 5th december 2 weeks earlier than my edd by elective section due to a bad tear with my ds. Was really scared about having a section but was pleasantly surprised that the recovery was actually quite quick and much better than the traumatic delivery with ds. Most notably I could sit down without being in agony for months!
We had a tricky start with bf- agree support can be lacking in areas especially as a second time mum as they just assume that you know what you are doing as you?ve been there before whilst in reality every baby is different. She lost over 14% of birth weight so we ended up back in hospital where we were told to just go straight to formula but as I was not keen to stop bf we agreed a plan of bf with formula top ups. To be fair working in hospitals myself and seeing babies become very unwell when bf doesn?t work I understand where they were coming from but emotionally I just wasn?t ready to give up and with all the hormones your doctor hat comes off and the mum one stays put!. Weight improved but with a toddler to look after as well (only a 16 month age gap!) the routine of bf, then formula top and then express to build up supply every feed was just not sustainable so have ended up only bf in the morning and evening post bottle. Although think she hardly gets much from me and maybe it?s the whole she?s my last one so don?t want to give it up-but I do wonder if I?m doing it more for me than her. I just have to remember that the important thing is that as soon as she was getting more formula she was happier and finally gaining weight but think it?s natural to have this maternal guilt! Especially since never produced enough milk for ds either. It?s been great being able to read about other people?s experiences on here as helps you realise you?re not alone. seconds lots of admiration that you managed to keep mixed feeding for as long as you did. pidjin you are definitely right that as long as your baby is loved and getting fed one way or another then you are a good mum. and we have to remember that we are very lucky in one way to have the option of formula as although some bf groups would shoot me for saying this, some people do have issues with insufficient supply and pre formula those babies would have become malnourished and very unwell totally negating the benefits of breastmilk.
Wow this is turning into an epic post so apologies but just wanted to respond to a few things if you have managed to read this far down!!
fod and honey re age gaps: we decided we wanted a 2 school yr gap but didn?t want another baby born at the end of the school yr so ended up with a small gap of 16 months although 2 school yrs. Not sure how I would have coped had it been shorter than that as we were lucky ds was walking by 10 months so no need to be carried everywhere during pregnancy which must be hard and by time new baby arrived was quite independent ie able to feed himself, talking etc which has made life easier.
honey I?m a worrier by nature too and nice to see that someone else is too! Ds did everything very early- by now at 4 months could already hold a bottle, nearly sitting unsupported etc whilst dd is nowhere near doing those things which worries me but have to remind myself that she is still within the norm and can?t expect her to be exactly like her brother and she will be her own special little person. And she is much more smiley than he was- can?t actually remember him laughing till much later on. We used to say he was a bit grumpy! But is now a very happy toddler who doesn?t stop laughing!
Walkers- yep paeds physio?s despise them and they are banned in certain countries. We didn?t buy one for ds and having heard so many bad things from the physios will not be getting one for dd although can see how they can be useful especially when you have more than one child to look after.
Right better go and do the dream feed. & apologies for the massive post!! Will try and post more regularly so they are never this long again!