March 2013- here we go....

[Oodsigma]

Welcome old & new to the other side!

I'll start with a stats list!

Ood -ds 7/3/13, dc4! Elcs

If anyone wants to add any more details feel free!

Leni- managed to get LO back on the Breast yesterday after a 2 day break. I was expressing and topping up with formula for those 2 days- it really saved my sanity and poor nipples (I still don't have a great latch on technique ). He was only 3/4 days old at that point.

Midwife weighed him for 5 day check up and he only lost 75g- which is great seeing as I could hardly Breastfeed at the start. I think expressing really helped?

Now my milk is in, the whole thing is much less painful and slowly getting easier. Whatever you choose to do, make sure it's right for you. Happy mummy= happy baby

dh back to work tomorrow - somewhat terrifying!

Hi all - can I please join even though I wasn't on the ante natal thread?

I have a DS age 4 and gave birth to DD on Friday at 4:40am. It was a planned home birth but labour took about 3hrs from start to finish and she arrived before the midwife arrived! DH delivered her on our bathroom floor while being told what to do by the 999 man who he'd called only 2 mins before her head came out! I don't know what the strict definition of a sneeze birth is but do I qualify?

I've read all the post above about feeding and sleeping etc. DS was really jaundiced and was readmitted for light treatment so bfing never got underway, I mixed fed and then gave up trying to bfeed at about 7 weeks. I also had baby blues that lasted 8 weeks, until I went back onto the pill and generally hated it all.

This time round I wanted to try bfing again but I'm not going to beat myself up of it doesnt work. DD seems to be latching on okay and is only slightly jaundiced. My milk came in yesterday and my boobs are fairly hard and hot but I think I just have to carry on bfing to get through it?any advice much appreciated!

For the stats:

Zigwig DS1 18/2/13 a 6lb early arrival.
Count dc4- dd 25/2/13 @37 weeks 6lbs 4oz=ECS
SoYo - Dd 27/2/13, dc1. Ventouse.
backwardpossom - DD (Esther) - 27/2/13 - DC2 - 7lb 5oz - elcs
JoJo - ds (Samuel), 03/03/13, dc1 - emergency cs 8lbs 2oz
NoTime DS 4/3/13 dc2 EMCS 3 pounds 15
Ood -ds 7/3/13, dc4! Elcs
Eigmum. Dd. 8/3/2013. Dc2. ELCS 8 pounds
Stormy - dd 8/3/13, dc1. Sneeze birth
Plonko - ds1 9/3/13 dc1 instrumental delivery at 41+3, 7lbs12.
Pudtat - ds 16/3/13 dc1 ventouse delivery at 38+4 7lb 15
WingDefence - DD 29/3/13 DC2 Unassisted home birth at 39wks, 7lb 5oz

Welcome wingdefence and I think you def come under sneeze birth! Am totally in awe of home births anyway. Love the idea but would have been too chicken for limited pain relief though mine don't come out on their own anyway
And yes feed through the Pamela Anderson stage and it gets better!

No posting last night as I couldn't keep my eyes open for long enough!

Feeds at 10.45, settled at 12, awake at 2, fed in bed on & off until 3, transfer fail, fell asleep at 4.30, woke up at 5, at 7 I handed over to DH & nearly cried with exhaustion but he placated her fora bit while I slept.

Not coping very well today, she's feeding every 2hrs (now alternating between boob and bottle as nipple falling off), PuppyMonsters being evil, no daytime nap longer than 30mins & on me & DH goes back to work tomorrow. Can't fathom how I'm possibly going to cope dong this on my own. If you discard the bit while DH takes her & I sleep I'm getting about 2hrs overnight & she'll only settle on me or when we're out in pram or car during the day & then pup tends to play up for attention. I'm ruining our last day off together because I keep having overly dramatic weeping episodes when I think about tonight/tomorrow!

Will someone either reassure me that this does get better or at least give me a slap of sense and a choccie biccy!

Pudtat at least you're not on your own in this, we'll have to cope together through the power of mumsnet!

soyo I'm not sure how old your little one is but Sam was 4 weeks yesterday and slept from midnight-9am. Unfortunately for me, every little noise he made woke me up as I was expecting him to need a feed at 3 and 6.
Though our weekend was so busy meeting loads of family members and he was completely overstimulated so desperate for sleep! That was in his basket too which he normally hates!
Even if he doesn't have another night like that tonight I'm grateful for that one good night!!

Oh and invest in a baby carrier. I bought one second hand fairly cheaply on eBay. When he won't settle, 30 mins of being carried around the house in that and he sleeps!! Keeps the closeness he loves and allows my hands to eat food, go to the loo etc!

We are definitely all in this together! I thought I was going to lose my mind this morning and it's only day 3...

I cracked and gave him lots of formula, as well as expressed colostrum, and had resigned myself to messing about with bottles forever. OH came in when I was asleep earlier today and said he was afraid he was going to go mad and do something awful if LO didn't stop screaming

I reassured him he wouldn't and we were just having a bad day, he slept and then went and bought everything Mothercare had to help - electric pump, sleepsuits that are the right size, vitamins, painkillers, arnica (my torn bits are so sore), and tea tree oil.

LO basically didn't sleep for longer than 5 mins last night unless on me, and same again today, not even in the rocker which he was fine in all day the day before. We put him in his pram for the first time and pushed him round the flat, he had extra blankets to cushion his head which i know aren't recommended but we watched him the whole time and with a heartbeat/white noise mp3 playing loudly he slept in the kitchen for a bit.

Decided on shift sleeping and after OH went to bed I finally tried my nipple shields, which the hospital bf woman had said were a bad idea.... IT'S A MIRACLE!!! He got straight on and fed for a full 30 mins, despite having had his first two days not having breast. My milk's coming in so he got lots! I'm literally so relieved

I advise trying them - the medala ones are great. I have flat nipples so it gives him something to latch on to, can't believe none of the MWs suggested it.

Got him in the carrier now as he won't sleep away from me/OH and it definitely helps being able to wee/eat/walk without holding him.

I'm told it does get better but OH goes back to working nights on weds so like everyone else I'm dreading it

Morning all and thanks for the welcome. Leni, glad to hear the shields have helped - I've got friends who swore by them so yes, it's a bit crap that the MWs didn't go through them with you as an option.

At my end bfing seems to be going relatively well. DD is a bit of a slow eater though and pauses after every (say) 5-10 sucks so I have to keep tickling/stroking her. And the biggest issue I have are the massive cluster feeds she's done for the past 3 nights (so every night apart from her first). Sat was 9pm-2am, Sun was better at 5-10:30pm but last night was roughly 7pm-1am! She then does sleep for a few hours but it's just crazy.

She latches on fine then does her feed-pause-feed-pause but also falls asleep on me after 15-30mins bit if I try to put her down she starts rooting and sucking her fist and cries until I start feeding her again!

Last night I just let her fall asleep properly on me at 1 and dozed myself for 15 mins before I tried to move her and that seemed to work. I don't think I can do much about it - or do you think I could try to feed her more in the daytime? She seems to be doing well though (every 3 hrs perhaps yesterday).

Just grabbing some breakfast before the 8.30 feed. Had a mixed night, he was hard to settle, but when he did I got 4hours between feeds before I had to wake him to make sure he gets enough. i did all night feeds last night as DH back to work today, so am going to be v strict with myself about napping during day so I get enough sleep to cope, so back to bed for me after this feed (he tends to settle really well after this one!)

Must then get onto docs about appt to review my skin as am covered in hives which are getting worse by the day. Terrified its going to turn out to be reaction to Domperidone (has got worseas dose has been increased, I am now on 20mg 4x day) or simply to bf - lots on tinterweb say this happens - argh! Need to try and control things tho, as my scratching is keeping me and DH awake.

wing that sounds quite good for early days.

Welcome, Wing! Definitely a sneeze birth there. I'm also a bit too chicken for a home birth. Give me the hospital bed and the good drugs any day.

SoYo it does get better, I promise. It's just that no one can tell you exactly when. But you never met a five year old that couldn't sleep more than an hour without a boob in their mouth, did you? Practical advice: inform DH that evenings are his affair. Leave him with baby and bottle and get a few hours' kip, out of earshot if you can. You'll have a broken night once he goes to bed, but those few hours will do wonders for your sanity. And if you've any friends or family around who want to help, hand them baby and bottle for a few hours, or if they're no good with babies, send them out for a very long walk with the puppy.

JoJo nine hours at four weeks?! I am jealous as hell! Mine absolutely will not go more than five hours (and that's a rarity; three to four is more common, and that's from one feed to the next, not actual sleep). And I know the feeling about every tiny noise waking you up. Is anyone actually intending to keep their baby in with them for six months as recommended by professionals who don't have to try sleeping next to the noisy little buggers?

Glad the nipple shields are working well, leni. And glad at least some of us are managing this breastfeeding lark! And same advice re: sleep as for SoYo. Designate a few hours in the day where OH is in charge, and you get your head down. Sure he needs his sleep because he's at work, but you need sleep too. Either one of you can be well rested while the other cracks up from lack of sleep, or you can both be a bit knackered. The latter is definitely preferable.

Of course, the one downside to "man looks after baby while knackered mother sleeps" is when they sleep through a screaming fit. I went up to bed at half eight last night, expecting the baby to be fed about 10pm and 1am, then deposited in the basket upstairs with me. Half past three, I woke up to hear the baby screaming like a banshee. Figured she was mid nappy change, or grumpy about the slow milk service in this house, or similar, but the screaming didn't stop, so I went to investigate. Baby shouting her head off in the downstairs basket, man flat out and snoring on the sofa. Resisted the urge to go ballistic at him, but he's still snoring on the sofa and it's keeping the baby awake now...

Welcome Wing! Your OH delivering the baby in place of midwife definitely sounds like a sneeze birth to me, congratulations!

SoYo that sounds tough. 2 hours sleep at night, you poor thing. I really hope you find a solution soon - having a wee baby isn't easy but I'm sure it's not supposed to be quite so miserable. We use a dummy to settle DS to sleep and through any colicky periods, it's helped enormously but only since stopping bfing altogether.

stormy and jojo my LO is 4 weeks old on Saturday and we manage everything in four hour long bursts. This means there's one slit-your-wrists-it's-4am bottle feed, which DP has never done (and will never do) but otherwise we've found a way that mostly works for us. I cannot wait until he's big enough to drop that feed, but have been assured that it'll coincide with teething .

I seem to have incurred some damage to my hip during labour. I didn't have spd during pregnancy but now am hobbling about like an old lady! Wondering if it has anything to do with delivering with my legs in stirrups? Anyone else experienced this?

I do wish we were on a four hour cycle here. Yesterday she pretty much stuck to one. It meant she only took 18oz of milk, which according to the side of the formula box is not enough - she hits four weeks on Friday and in theory should be on 24oz by then. On a three hour cycle she gets 21 or 22oz. I know she'll eat if she's hungry, but after that first week, with the weight loss and the crying and the total failure at boobs and her really not eating despite being hungry, I can't help but worry. And the reflux doesn't help. How can her tummy stretch if overfilling it makes her throw up? Yesterday I ended up wearing more of her breakfast than she was digesting.

plonko have no experience of buggered hips or stirrups (I was flat on my back, but with my legs in people's armpits). Got lingering pain in the small of my back though (which is where I was really feeling the contractions). Am assuming for now that I'm still recovering and it'll sort soon. If it's not cleared up by the six week check, mention it to your doctor?

Apologies Wing, welcome! I took several hours to type my post with one thumb so missed the latest.

We got 5 hours sleep last night (OH is still in bed) with LO tucked under OH's arm in our bed - not ideal but edging him closer to the cot at least. I was worried he'd suffocate or get squashed as I have a bad habit of reading about safe sleeping at night when I'm already emotionally crumbling

Anyone else forgetting to eat? I've lost my appetite for some reason even though I wake up with hunger pains.

Can't stop rubbing my face on LO's blonde hair, so soft and white! I'm dark but OH had white hair when he was little. He's trying to stick his hands in his mouth constantly still, even when there's already a nipple in there, and he sticks fingers in his eyes and up his nose as if he doesn't realise it's his face has the funniest poo face... I feel bad for laughing but it's hilarious!

We had a better night last night. We decided to tackle the first day back at work with a split shift so I fed Miss Madam at 9, DH did the 9-12 shift and then we swapped so I had 2hrs solid sleep in the spare room!

We had feeds at 9, 1, 3.30, 5 and 6 and then I brought her in my bed & she snoozed on me & next to me until 9ish (whingeing every few mins but I still managed to snooze a bit).

For those who are struggling with the Moses basket, I know Madam doesn't settle for long stretches but she does settle in there. We swaddle her and put a rolled towel either side to wedge her in so she can't move too much. It's the only way she'll settle and a couple of others in our NCT group have had success with the same thing.

Leni, as much as I'm still struggling now its nowhere near as bad as those first few days where she screamed all night before my milk came in and we had to do 3hr shifts & sometimes double team her to save our sanity!

Leni I keep stroking her incredibly soft hair too! I think they have to look tat cute when they're asleep to make up for the horror when they're awake!

We did 2 hours on Sat night, 3 on sun and 4 last night which is the best so far. Ds has a little awake time at 11:30 when dh comes in which is nice as we catch up and I feed with company. Then the next two feeds are straight back to sleep ones.

Welcome Wing and yay for homebirths! I had an amazing homebirth with zero pain relief - was so relaxed and wonderful. We did have one midwife with us but basically she stayed away and left me and my husband to it except to occasionally monitor heartbeat and then to catch LO's body at the end (I delivered the head myself - something I totally didn't expect to do but was totally instinctive!).

Leni we have a bedside cot (basically an ikea cot which converts into a toddler bed with the forth side left off and tethered to our bed) - this way we can co-sleep but its easier than having LO in our own bed. We did actually properly co-sleep for the first two weeks with her in our bed and I honestly have no idea how anyone could actually roll on their baby unless they are drunk - we obviously got rid of duvet and big pillows during that time but it really helped to have her close in that early period and LO slept 3-5 hours on each sleep from the very beginning. Now that LO is more settled into life (at 3 and a half weeks) we almost exclusively use the bedside cot so that she has her own space and we have ours!

We are now getting almost 6-7 continuous hours of sleep each night save for a quick 10-20 minute sleepy feed around 3am ish - we catch LO just as she appears to be starting to wake up at that time and give her a little feed and then she goes straight back down because she never fully wakes up. This feed is getting smaller and smaller so we are hoping that soon it will go altogether.

DH is still off work (he took two weeks paternity and two weeks annual leave) so we are trying to make the most of this lovely family time together but glad our nights are getting settled so that it will be easier for him once he goes back next week. I am hoping to then get into my own daytime routine with LO - anyone thought about any baby classes or recommend any that good for newborns?

I think I may have seen a genuine smile this morning! Either that or it's wind - again! It's probably wind. He's not even a month old. Almost definitely wind. I'll just have to keep shoving my face into his lovely soft blonde hair (glad I'm not the only one...)

It sounds like everyones nights are improving. Very jealous of your 6-7 hours, Rainbow!

Leni stuffing hands in mouth makes me laugh. Babies are so funny, trying to tell you they're hungry when you're trying to shove a nipple or bottle in their mouth. As mine is a very hungry boy he tends to guzzle so we do several burps during a feed to slow him down. Hands immediately in the mouth the moment that bottle gets moved...daft little bugger.

rainbow baby massage is always a good one.

it drives me spare that he won't latch because his hands are either fully in his mouth, or else twisting my nipple into origami shapes/ pushing him away from me as hard as poss... all while screaming for food.

Rainbow he's got an Arm's Reach co-sleeper attached to our bed but he won't go in it for longer than 5 mins yet, and if he does it's only with a rolled towel curved round his head for support. I think everyone's right - in the first few days you just do whatever it takes.

My LO has found his thumb and likes to suck it or his fist whether hungry or not so now the only hunger signal is him lifting his head and smacking it on my boobs! Lip smacking sometimes too in between hand eating.

Had a first go out in the pram today, he cried unless OH did a slalom route and went over bumps?! I read that in the womb the noise levels are just slightly less than a lawnmower so it's no wonder they like sound and movement.

Now a few days have passed I feel incredibly battered and bruised - passing huge clots today and bleeding increased slightly again. Had a little look at the various tears and it wasn't pretty looked different to what the MW showed me in the mirror after the birth...

Thanks Rainbow - I am a complete HB convert!

leni, have they been checking your stitches and asking you about your blood loss? Your DS was born on Friday I think as was my DD and I had small 2nd deg tear with 2 or 3 stitches but I've had them checked twice since then (and definitely not looked myself!!). When's your next MW appt? If you're not happy, try to get a community MW out to you tomorrow?

DD started her cluster feed tonight at 5:30 - shall we take bets on what time she'll finally go to sleep tonight?! I've read a lot on cluster feeds today and I know it's completely normal and really I should go with the flow so instead of sitting up in my bedroom with low lighting and hoping she'll go down every time she snoozes, I'm going to stay up, watch TV and get DH to bring me snacks and cold drinks and try to pass the time that way.

After the utter nightmare that was my attempt at bfing DS (I've become a real formula defender since then), this is so completely different.

Well I had a good night last night ( because I am so knackered I slept through it all. Dd is now 3.5 weeks and this exclusive breastfeeding is killing me . So dh did the 10pm feed with expressed milk from a bottle and I assumed she slept afterwards. I expressed and then went to sleep. Thought all went fine as dh woke me at 2.30am saying she was ready for another feed. I said , oh good she slept. E said er no. Apparently there had been a 4.5 hour party downstairs that ended in him takbg her for a drive and running out of petrol, didn't go down well that I thought it was funny! Oops. I then fed her at 2.30 and she went to sleep til 7! Little monkey.... Tonight as dh goes to work he is doing 10 until 11.30 then she is my problem!