March 2013- here we go....

[Oodsigma]

Welcome old & new to the other side!

I'll start with a stats list!

Ood -ds 7/3/13, dc4! Elcs


If anyone wants to add any more details feel free!

[pudtat]

Bambi I hear you. I hit the same wall on Day 4-5. LO would only settle laid on me. So that's what we did and I got no sleep and ended up a total hormonal wreck. He still has fussy time when nothing is right and only cuddles are the answer. Amusingly this is usually about 12-4am. Last night was great as he got it out f his system 8-12pm and so I just had to wake him for his 3 feeds and got 3 lots of 1.5hr sleep!

Use your DP. Take turns offering an hour or 2 cuddling while the other sleeps. You will both need to rest sometime. And when you have ruled out nappies ad hunger, then sometimes the lub-dub of a heartbeat is actually all they want. He is only 2 days old (well 3 now I guess!) so is very very new. You won't be making a needy 40 year old by holding him now.

You're doing great. Well done you.

[StormyBrid]

Bambi cuddling constantly sounds alright to me, so long as you've got other people around, so can share the cuddling. If it's just you in the house all day then it's going to be a bugger long term, because you'll never get anything done. Could you perhaps look into slings? I've got a stretchy one for newborns that I've yet to learn how to tie, because thankfully DD will sleep in her basket so long as she's got a dummy in her mouth, but for babies that don't want to be put down it can be a lifesaver. You can even go to the loo with baby attached.

If you're having no luck with the basket, is there anywhere else you can put the baby down? Just for those moments where you need to dash off and do something for two minutes? We started off with the baby always going in the carseat and she was alright with that, perhaps because she could see what was going on, and also it helps when she's being refluxy. It was in there that she figured out sleeping while not on people, and then we were able to transfer to the basket (with the aid of dummy and awesomely tight swaddle).

SoYo if she persists, I'd be inclined to try a dummy - sometimes babies just like to suck something even when they're not hungry. Of course, you'll probably got shot for even entertaining the notion if certain of the pro-breastfeeding brigade get wind of it, but it might be worth considering.

Been fairly peaceful here the past few days. The man's days off work combined with Easter mean he's been home most of the week, and he doesn't mind doing baby duties so long as he can play Skyrim in between feeds, so I've had so much sleep, it's beyond belief. Only feeding issue we're having these days is the tiny refluxy tummy that means maximum of 3oz formula per feed. Which means, er, eight feeds a day. If she needs it she needs it, but I can't wait for her to be able to manage a bit more and then sleep a bit longer!

[notimefors]

rainbowbaby I'm donating milk this time. With DD there was nowhere local but now I've moved I've actually got a choice of three hospitals who would all collect from my house. Easy!

[Bambi86]

Thank you stormy and pud - really useful advice that I will try. I do have dummies, I guess I was too ashamed but now I've admitted I'm struggling I guess that's the first hurdle? One of my main problems before pregnancy was admitting that I was struggling ( which ended up with me being signed off work for a couple of months and on Anti Deps) and I hate to go back to that- so again, thank you!

DP is offering to take LO so I can get some sleep...managed a couple of hours this morning before 10am, but DP keeps waking me up to feed him as he's constantly wanting boob. Maybe that's where a dummy will also help?

Also the fourth trimester article was incredibly interesting- keep re reading and it really makes sense.

SoYo I could have written your last post- at the moment BF terrifies me because at the moment it seems so very difficult. And painful I'm going to find a local BF group to see if my latch on technique is correct.

[Oodsigma]

Bf does get easier ( providing latch is right) as the nipples toughen up! Use loads of lanisoh or breast milk and air dry after feeding.

[SoYo]

Stormy bubba was taking a dummy initially (sod what people think, I'll do anything that works!) but is now refusing totally, think she's figured out we're trying to trick her! Tried a few different types but no go. She's now 4.5 weeks & I was hoping nipples would have toughened by now but no, wish I'd bought shares in Lansinoh! She's been asleep in downstairs Moses for the past 45mins so I'm off to bed while she sleeps & DH watches TV then he'll bring her up for the nights fun to begin! Keep thinking its got to improve sometime, why not tonight! Fingers crossed!

[eigmum]

We have green poo and over supply here! Been trying lying back, just one breast etc.... Seriously think the bottle may have to come out soon. Bf seems to be alot of worry. Wondering if this is a three week growth spurt? I am typing this while letting litte one cry as I've been holding for an hour and got arm ache! Bad mommy!

[eigmum]

soyo loving the positive attitude! bambi , ood is right its early days, just go with the flow a bit and have cuddles. I am reading ood advice and feeling reassured too. soyo I tried the dummy too after the 5th comfort feed and chuck up! She spat it out. I tried taping on it but she still wouldn't take it! I'm with you, I'll do anything for one sleep right now.

[Bambi86]

Odd I've taken your advice and have been walking round my flat with the bosoms free like some kind of Amazonian goddess, much to the amusement of DP!

Eig I left LO to cry earlier as I couldn't resist a slice of warm pizza, so popped him in basket next to me- much to his displeasure. He was over it by the time I had guzzled my dinner and had picked him up again

Letting DP sleep for a few hours whilst we get through this massive night feed- then hopefully we can swap

Loving the positive attitude too SoYo- I'm going to visualise a positive night

[Bambi86]

Oh also have a tmi I wanted to ask about....

Ended up having a 2nd degree tear during water birth, and had a horrendous time being stitched up by 3 different doctors - lots of stitches inside( especially high up apparently) and outsideNow I'm terrified about going for a poo...I have not been since Wednesday, have been guzzling litres of water, guzzling grapes and took a sachet of movical today- am I going totally overboard? Will it hurt that much? Is there anything I can do to minimise pain? Will a big poo tear my stitches?

Also I'm a bit OCD about keeping the whole area clean- I think I'm becoming a bit obsessive over the trauma of the stitching fiasco. I had such a calm and quiet natural birth, and then was stitched up without enough local anaesthetic and told I was making a "fuss" until my mum stepped in and told them they had my weight wrong and had seriously underestimated the dose

I think what makes me angry, is that I was offered local painkiller or an epidurakl and the first doctor told me that I definitely did not want an epidural as I wouldn't be able to go home that day, so I went for local....Ironically ended up staying over night as I had lost so much blood because it took three doctors so long to stitch me...

[Oodsigma]

Don't blame you being angry at that. I would be!

Re poo it shouldn't split your stitches but softer has to be better!

Re oversupply. Try expressing off a bit before feeds ( not too much or you encourage it.) but enough so baby can get more of the fattier milk rather than filling up on the thin stuff that goes right through.

[pudtat]

bambi - I had an episiotemy which is treated as a 2nd deg tear. stitches inside and out. Obv not esp high like yours, but I found holding some paper towel or a maternity pad against the stiches while I went gave me some support and reassurance. I was eating like a horse the first few days but found things remained naturally er soft which also helped. if you feel the urge, go - delay can lead to constipation which I wouldn't fancy . also, some wet wipe type toilet tissue helped with cleaning after (or you can just opt for the shower) although make sure its perfume free cos otherwise it can sting rather in the stitches!

[StormyBrid]

Bambi - mine was only a first degree tear with no stitches, but pooing wasn't painful in the least. Obviously your bits have been trashed a bit more than mine so may be worse, but I think what I'm trying to say is: don't fear it! It may not be so bad as you think. Also, take a book in there with you - it'll distract you from worrying about it.

eig - I hope you're joking about taping the dummy on, cos I was working on the assumption that that's probably child abuse. If it turns out we're allowed to do it, I'll be annoyed!

We started with offering a little fingertip to suck if she was fussing, and that obviously involves cuddles. I suppose it gave her the idea that sucking is comforting, and she was able to transfer that over to the dummy? Or I could be talking bollocks and it's just temperament, who knows?

Taking turns to sleep when you can is definitely the way forward. Of our eight daily feeds, the man does the late two while I get a bit of kip, and I do the middle of the night while he sleeps. If it weren't for the baby staying downstairs during those two feeds, I would have cracked up already. What I'm really looking forward to is her going in her own room. Then the random snuffly noises and occasional fits of flailing arms and whimpering won't wake me up. As for when she realises her arms are actually hers and she can control them (and stop hitting herself in the face), that's going to be an awesome day.

[leniwhite]

Hello all!

So Albie arrived yesterday at 5am, 7lbs 2 - started contracting 9am and ended up at the birth centre at 11.30pm. He's very blonde with big eyes and in rude health . Labour was erm, interesting shall we say - his head was on my spine suddenly so I had the urge to push at home when only 3cm dilated. Luckily I then went from 3 to 10cm in 4 hours, which was excruciating but meant I didn't become an emergency and he was born in the pool as I'd hoped
I can testify that pushing a baby down on a closed cervix is painful beyond comprehension and I must have said 'I can't do this' a million times whilst flailing my arms and emanating sounds from the devil himself

Only had a shot of diamorphine for pain relief, no gas and air even, and now have a small second degree tear with no stitches and a couple of grazes. Feeling pretty happy i didn't crumble and go for an epidural as I came very close to not coping with the pain, the diamorphine made the pushing urge stop just long enough for me to rest before he was coming! I now feel like my perineum will be permanently bruised and my insides might just fall out of my bum but I hear that's normal...

Still in the birth centre and having some familiar BFing issues - LO has a good suck but won't do a nice wide mouth so latches on very rarely and then goes to sleep or turns purple and screams after two sucks. Was up all night attempting to squeeze nipples into various shapes to stuff them in but to no avail, have managed to convince the nazi-esque midwives to let me leave tonight after one more feed. Seen about 4 now and all made me try differently, really stressful as I guess you all warned me!

Can easily express 5ml colostrum though which is good because, even if from a syringe, at least he's getting it from me. Huge sympathies with everyone else having feeding nightmares - it's helped knowing I'm definitely not alone.

Finding my newly empty bag belly very odd and my feet look like sausages still. LO and OH are a very cute combination, he really loves cuddling daddy and vice versa

[Bambi86]

Congratulations Leni! What a beautiful name!

I had a back to back labour too- sounds very similar to yours. I had gas and air, as the pressure and pain of DS being back to back was interesting! I too was 4cm for hours, then suddenly went from 6cm to 10cm within an hour of getting into the pool. Isn't it a relief to get in that lovely warm water?

On the BF front, it seems to be a little less painful on day 3- maybe my milk is coming in and he hasn't got to try as hard?

Still no, erm, movements down there....must take on all your advice and just "bite the bullet"

Bit annoyed at DP, he was watching DS whilst I napped for a couple of hours and when we switched over I found poor DS's nappy full of poo. Poor lad was all red and sore, wee up to his umbilical cord and poo down his legs (he was swaddled when DP handed him over)- I know it won't kill DS, but really felt for him. Popped a bit of sudacream on the bright red bits- I'm guessing this is ok for newborns?

Did anyone manage to sleep last night? DS co slept with me for 4 solid hours and it was lovely to have a sleep. Was a bit scared at first, but followed all the advice given to me before I left hospital. Tried it again for an afternoon nap with DS today but he wasn't having any of it! Typical! .

[Oodsigma]

Yes sudacream fine. Some babies get sore easier than others, ds had lots of sore patches so far and dd3 was about 1 when she first did.

[plonko]

Congratulations leni! You must be chuffed to bits, and what a lovely name. I found the midwives largely unhelpful with bfing too, they just kind of waited for ds to open his mouth wide and shoved his head hard onto my boob - I couldn't really work out what they were doing that I wasn't, it still hurt and seemed to distress the kid. But at least you're getting colostrum into him, that's the main thing. And well done on avoiding an epi - was the diamorphine enjoyable? I remember screaming that I couldn't do it once or twice. According to dp this carried on even after crowning, bloody pethidine made me beyond loopy.

Bambi I'd be annoyed too! Did your OH not notice that the nappy was erm, saggy? Oh and with the movements...they get easier. Don't put it off. And remember the breathing you did during labour...seriously!!

Any improvement SoYo?

We've cracked sleeping through the night - let the baby cry all evening. Not a great solution but it turns out my 3 week old is ridiculously stubborn. Can't wait until he's big enough to drop a feed and sleep a bit longer, otherwise we're getting along really well. Still sad about breastfeeding but it means I'm not an emotional wreck and I can finally enjoy my baby.

[eigmum]

Yes I meant tap rather than tape oops! Agree taping it on not good!

[eigmum]

Congrats leni!,!

[pudtat]

Thought i'd revisit the stats although need to get some of the more recent additions on here I think...

Zigwig DS1 18/2/13 a 6lb early arrival.
Count dc4- dd 25/2/13 @37 weeks 6lbs 4oz=ECS
SoYo - Dd 27/2/13, dc1. Ventouse.
backwardpossom - DD (Esther) - 27/2/13 - DC2 - 7lb 5oz - elcs
JoJo - ds (Samuel), 03/03/13, dc1 - emergency cs 8lbs 2oz
NoTime DS 4/3/13 dc2 EMCS 3 pounds 15
Ood -ds 7/3/13, dc4! Elcs
Eigmum. Dd. 8/3/2013. Dc2. ELCS 8 pounds
Stormy - dd 8/3/13, dc1. Sneeze birth
Plonko - ds1 9/3/13 dc1 instrumental delivery at 41+3, 7lbs12.
Pudtat - ds 16/3/13 dc1 ventouse delivery at 38+4 7lb 15

[Bambi86]

What a night.....!

At 9pm I literally broke over breast feeding. My DP went out, purchased formula and bottles and an hour later we had a happy little family again. I had put so much pressure on myself to EBF that it was rubbing off on DS, and we were both miserable.

So...until I can face the torture of BF and get to a BF help group after bank holiday, I'm formula feeding and expressing. I doubt there will be enough milk from expressing this early in, but at least my supply is being kept up.

After the relief of DS actually enjoying a feed, I (possibly TMI...?) finally went to the toilet, and it was absolutely fine like you guys said it would be ! phew....!

Also chucked out the Moses basket at 2am. For some reason me and DP had become fixated on the fact that DS should be sleeping in there - cue nearly 30 mins of hysterical crying from trying to settle in basket. Then we had a lightbulb moment as we were like, "he obviously hates it, so why are we bothering?".

Cue a bit of co sleeping research, and we had almost 4 hours of sleep together. MIL is probably going to have something to say about it all, but I think fuck it- if my baby is happy, then I'm happy. My baby likes to sleep near me, so that's what we will do. Thank god the bed best is arriving after this weekend.

I did have a laugh at the taping of the dummy- tempting at times

[Bambi86]

Bed nest, obviously.

[plonko]

Oh Bambi, the pressure's crazy isn't it? I'm glad you're feeling better about things. Stress isn't good for any of you, so do the things that make your life enjoyable and sod everyone else!

[pudtat]

You may yet be able to use the moses basket, perhaps try it for daytime naps first and then see if you can start nights there, or alternatively he may be prepared to go down in it after a later night feed. You may find that warming the blanket with a hot water bottle or wheaty first (not hot, just to take the chill off) helps...

Glad you found a way to chill out a little, that will be good for all of you. Good luck at the bf group next week, but in the meantime enjoy.

[leniwhite]

Bambi O feel for you - first night home last night and not a single feed. He just won't latch! He does all the hungry signs, then I put him on the boob and his eyes roll back in his head and he goes to sleep without sucking at all. Having to give him syringed colostrum just to make sure he's getting something. Wanted to try a hand expresser because the syringe just sucks in air and although my flow is fast it all gets wasted, but every single shop is closed...

Is it too early to resort to formula to top him up?! He's pooing etc but I'm still worried he won't be getting enough to eat.

I've tried stripping him off, tickling his feet, blowing in his face etc but no joy, it's like he has some sort of switch that turns him off as soon as he gets a nipple in his mouth.

How have mothers done this for generations???!