March 2013- here we go....

[Oodsigma]

Welcome old & new to the other side!

I'll start with a stats list!

Ood -ds 7/3/13, dc4! Elcs


If anyone wants to add any more details feel free!

[pudtat]

We came home today. Have been in midwife led unit since Sunday. Has been great in many ways, as was the only person in there until yesterday. They have been very supportive over feeding issues - tongue tie does look to be a problem, so like Zigwig (I think?) he latches, sucks a few times, and falls asleep or screams for food (without ever feeding properly). We decided quite early to use formula to top up, but have been syringing or (now amounts are a little bigger) using a cup to try and retain the option of breastfeeding in future, which I hope may improve once the tongue tie dealt with (we are still waiting for the referral).

However, last night was awful. The unit went from just me to full plus a woman in labour. That meant the midwife and maternity assistant on duty were really busy. We'd had the good news that MiniPud only lost 6% on day 3 weigh in, and my milk was thinking about doing something, so we decided to try doing more breastfeeding and less formula dropping the 3 hourly regimen for something more demand led. And miniPud decided to spend the night demanding but doing nothing about it (would fall asleep as soon as latched, but then wouldn't settle except being held, just screamed the place down), so I got no sleep at all. Eventually, I decided I wanted to top him up with formula, but was feeling very out of control and disempowered as had to ring bell for help and to ask for formula etc... hormones were everywhere, but was feeling guilty about other people in the unit, guilty about needing so much time from the staff etc when they were busy, on top of guilt about the formula anyway, and decided that we had to come home. Needed to make our own decisions, even if they are bad ones? Also, needed to have DH to help, as he is as invested in making it work as I am, rather than all the lovely professionals who all have slightly different advice.

So we are mixed feeding. I have been discharged with a pump as a medical need, and am expressing alternate sides, offering the other at the start of feeds, then topping him up by whatever is required to a set total. So today each feed should be 35ml, so if I expressed 20, he would have 15ml formula. As one boob is on strike, this has meant some feeds are 35ml formula (need to work out what's going on there) while others are more balanced. Hope milk will come in soon, although they are looking at putting me on Dom Peridon (sp?) which can help boost supply apparently - hope to hear tomorrow from bf unit at hospital on that one. Here's to our first night...

[zigwig]

I found it made a massive difference to my morale to have OH there at night for support and being at home made me feel much more in control and less like I was being judged. I know what you mean about the different advice and feeling guilty. I'm sure you'll get on great now you're home in comfortable surroundings and I bet your milk will come in the next day or two as you seem to be having exactly the same experience as me lol. Hope you're already feeling better.

I hope your not suffering too much to ood. You seem to be going through it. Nothing is ever easy is it and I'm sure we had all ordered sneeze births and movie-like perfectly behaved newborns.

[plonko]

Pudtat that sounds stressful, I hope things improve and you can more luck with breastfeeding in the future.

Stormy I'm officially jealous! My maternity jeans are sadly still all that fits but the belly is shrinking each day. It's quite jiggly, but in a months time ill be starting to do bits of exercise when I can squeeze it in. I think my hips may just be permanently wider now, but at least that's just an excuse to go shopping.

I'm bowing out of breastfeeding. My nipples are almost healed (thank god for lansinoh) but I can't face trying to latch him on again. The rash on my boobs turns out to be burst blood vessels (ow) from pumping. I'm pit of ideas, getting less and less each time I want to express, and I've just found the whole thing too emotional. I've tried old fashioned booby feeds, expressing by hand, manual and electric pump, I must have spent £60 on bfing aids and called the nct support line. I'm out, now I just need to feel ok about it.

And I want a sodding glass of champagne to celebrate the birth of my pfb!

[StormyBrid]

If it makes you feel better, plonko, I've given up on the boob juice too. She's doing grand on formula and she got a few days of my milk. She'll be fine. Not going to stress about it. Still not managed to get out to wet the baby's head though - by 7pm all I can think about is sleep!

Pudtat, how did the first night go?

[plonko]

Nice to know I'm not the only one. I hadn't even been that fussed about bfing until I tried it. Bloody hormones!

On the other hand, the midwife came today and BabyPlonk weighs 8lb4oz now! That's birth weight + an extra 5lbs. He has seemed very hungry but I never expected such rapid gain. We weighed him three times to be certain!

We're visiting the in laws this weekend so planning on taking a bottle of bubbly with us, so far managed an entire half glass of red. Take it you mean getting down the pub, stormy? Morrisons wipes me out, let alone being in proper clothes after 6pm!

I meant to say congratulations Rainbow - not sure if I mentioned it before.

[eigmum]

I have finally got the bf sorted. Also had agony bleeding nipples this time but given I came home to house with a vomiting toddler was determined to bf to stop her getting it. I struggled massively with engorgement with my first and gave up after 6 weeks. Shields helped for a day, as did expressing ( hand in shower or with machine) just a bit to make sure the nipple was out and soft so she had something to get hold of. Lanolin after and during feed ( I am on my third tube), keep nipples aired ( lots of toplessness at home) ! But if you can't make it work don't worry. My three year old had his first ever vomit and stomach bug the weekend his sister arrived and is rarely sick. As ood said its just feeding. Especially with jaundice you want them to eat and get fluids that is most important.

[StormyBrid]

My baby's sleep function appears to be broken. Yesterday we had exploding poo, projectile milk, and total refusal to sleep all evening. She woke up at five (a time of day which should not exist), fed her, got her back to sleep by half past six, and an hour later she was awake and hungry again. Fed, changed, burped, cuddled, put down for nap. She has just got to sleep (I think. I hope). What happened to my gloriously sleepy baby who refused to ever wake up?

And the three hours' break I'm getting this afternoon, that I was planning to spend blissfully unconscious? Is being sacrificed to take my brother's sodding cat to the vet. Argh.

[backwardpossom]

Thirsty thirsty thirsty! This is getting ridiculous!

[Oodsigma]

Yes, seem to be doing a pint an hour during the day!

[pudtat]

emotions all over the place. can't stop crying - gatekeeping duty has never been so important for dh . am on domperidone as of 4pm so hopefully my milk will come in properly now... doing ok at home. seem to have fussy time between about 10pm and 1am but othwrrwise he is a poppet. much better now at home, even if am emotional wreck! .

[StormyBrid]

What day are you on, pudtat? They say around day 5 is the worst for the emotional wreckage. I certainly found that, but perked up a lot a couple of days later. Could have something to do with me giving up on the boobs though.

We managed a really good night last night. She still doesn't seem to have much of an appetite - typical feed is only two ounces, and we can squeeze up to one more in after a burping break and a nappy change. But she took three in one go at 11pm and went to sleep beautifully with minimal fussing. The man woke up for the loo at half past two and had the foresight to make a bottle while he was down there, so when she started squeaking twenty minutes later it was right there waiting. Drank most of it, and went straight back to sleep until 6.45. Hoped she might sleep longer than that, but she's obviously worked out that 7am is getting up time!

As for a pint an hour, that's normal for me! Hardcore tea addict over here.

[leniwhite]

Thinking of you Pudtat, it must get better! Just wanted to sneak on to this board a bit early to let you all know I'm thinking of you all with your little wee ones

[eigmum]

Can't stop crying today. Worried little one has rsv as breathing hard, ribs retracting etc. Doc wants to wait 24 hours, won't be much sleep here tonight. ..

[SoYo]

The seemingly endless weeping does pass eig and Pudtat, I've been so much better for that this week. Had been starting to get a bit worried!

Eig hope little one is better overnight tonight & it's just something in passing & not RSV.

We've had a very settled day here which is always a bad prognostic sign fr the night ahead!

[eigmum]

Thanks SoYo. Doctor says it a virus but so far only in her nose. Her chest is clear thank god. He'll be back at 6 pm to re evaluate if we need to go to hospital as her breathing is fast , she is wheezing and her chest retracting but if she continues to feed and chest stays clear then we just have to ride it out. The seemingly endless weeping is not helping! I keep telling myself this endurance test of illness will come to an end and I' ll get to enjoy motherhood with two lovely kids if I can just hold it together a bit longer.

[StormyBrid]

Fingers crossed for you that she's all clear at 6pm, eig. It must be a bit dreadful having the first illness so early on. You will get through it though. And the weeping will pass. Promise!

I've cracked and asked my dad if I can go sleep at his house on Tuesday, leaving the baby at home with the man. If I don't get more than two hours' sleep at a stretch soon I'll go mad. Doesn't help that every time the dummy falls out of her mouth she wakes up. Have also decided to ignore the midwife who said to only swaddle under the arms otherwise they can stop breathing, because a) that sounds like bollocks, b) she gets freaked out by her own hands, and c) over-arm swaddling means I can use a corner of the blanket to hold the dummy in place. Seems to be working, she just got to sleep in less than five minutes. My turn now!

[eigmum]

Thanks stormy! Only thing that made me laugh yesterday was easing your "sneeze birth" story! Good idea to get some sleep, it's really hard staying sane on no sleep!

[eigmum]

Reading not easing!

[Oodsigma]

Phew eigmum scary this parenting thing isn't it.

[eigmum]

So doc came back and chest still clear and breathing rate down. Lots of rest and feeding and hopefully she will be fine, have to pop into surgery tomorrow lunchtime. Can't fault my gp. ood I had forgotten how scary it is when they are sick under 6 months. It does get better I think! Cross your fingers for me that we are over the worst.

[Oodsigma]

[eigmum]

How are you doing ood.. C section pains and related problems getting any better? You have been through the mill yourself this time too.

[pudtat]

eig thinking of you and LO - hope all still improving. Yes ood how are you?

Still plodding on here, tears dried a little thank goodness. Finding it hard to fit the pumping into life though, so worried not doing enough to stimulate things and probably guilt/stress then making yields worse etc - sigh. I just find it so depressing when i get virtually nothing i procrastinate about doing it and there is no time for procrastination in the schedule of a newborn!

Still, DH has has been working like a trooper and I did night feeds in the nursery last night! We are slowly getting our house back togethr as well as getting there with littly. Tongue tie clip today - fx this will really help.

[plonko]

Eig that sounds awful, so glad you've avoided hospital and hope LO is better soon.

The endless crying does pass. It's horrible, and with stresses of bfing etc thrown into the mix it seems like it'll never end. I still have my moments and wobbles but I think this is now attributable to broken sleep and chaos rather than the godawful hormones. Be nice to yourself, eat chocolate, have a soak in the bath, watch a nice film (even if you have to watch it in 30 minute bursts).

Stormy I think that's wise! Last week I had my mum come over for the morning just so I could sleep in. Such a good decision, I woke up to a clean house!

How are things progressing, Ood?

We've just spent the weekend at the in laws. So lovely to have help with ds, but mil is so expert with babies I feel a tad inferior! On the other hand our little porker has developed some incredible neck control and become so alert when he's awake, he seems to have completely changed over the last few days.

[StormyBrid]

It does take forever, doesn't it, pudtat? That's why I gave up on it so quickly. It was a case of pump during naptimes, or sleep during naptimes, and she's much better on formula + slightly less sleep-deprived mother! All I can advise is try to let go of the guilt - it doesn't help you or anyone else. Easier said than done though.

Glad things are looking better with the breathing, eig. It sounds terrifying.

Speaking of terrifying, the words "tongue tie clip" are freaking me out a bit. I'm sure it's a minor and simple procedure, and very helpful if tongue tie's causing problems, but it doesn't half make me wince to think about it!