November 2012 - Four months? Oh no, the dreaded sleep regression!

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1698894-November-2012-BFPs-Already-You-girls-are-going-to-have-some-fun

Instead of marking place, please could those of us with older siblings post something (positive) they are looking forward to as our babies get older. I think it would cheer us up since so many are struggling at the moment.

Oh unmumsnetry hugs apple . What I hate most is that whenever everything seems to be going okay he ruins it with a petty argument. I am just of guilty. I wish you lived close so we could have a knowingly whinge over a cuppa.

It sounds as though you're taking a balanced, considered approach hon and that's the best. Just don't expect to change him - disappointment lies that way! I hope your Peter Pan can grow up - sadly with mine, way back in my twenties I soon realised that far from being the sophisticated exciting older man - there was a reason my ex had got to his age with no woman wanting to marry him!!!!! Take it slow and just set some mental lines in the sand in terms of what you won't put up with. Me and DH only have 2 or 3 - we'll never deliberately cause hurt to the other, we're honest, we're exclusive, everything is shared, and Jonas' needs come before either of ours.

mm glorious over this way. Beautiful blue sky.

Hooray for art evil

I am sorry you are also having a hard time apple

MM I havenothing constructive to add. Just sending my best dagger stares at him, and my biggest hugs to you and Tilly. Xxx

Not too bad a night. L seems to be dropping her 1 1/2 hour feed before bed and has started going to sleep between 8 and 9 instead of 10. Last night I had 45 mins downstairs with dh sans baby for the first time in 14 weeks! She woke when I went up to bed and fed then did 11 - 2 and 3 - 6. Good for us :)

I'm in N Devon but tbh bit scared of meeting - needs to get some big girl pants.

MM and Apple I'm so sorry you are in this position. No advice but I teach hundreds of children from split families and done carefully they are some of the happiest and best adjusted. Do not feel guilty and do what is best for you, it will be best for LO too x

Love the art evil. You might have inspired me!

Please don't all pelt me with rotten veg. But after the 0040 wakening he was back in the cot at 0110. He did not stir until 0740!! And then went back to sleep after a feed til 0915. Fucking GET IN!!!

ignores the fact I woke at 640 and saw it was light and panicked as to why he hadn't woken and very nearly woke him while running in his room poking him

I have a Velcro bear who just wants to sleep on me. He's definitely got what I had in terms of fatigue, hate to think of him being in such pain though (it was horrible) so, gutted I'm missing the quiche but the right choice was to stay home. Besides with you girls troughing dairy filled dime bar cake I might have got a bit stabby

Downloaded some new books to my tablet - trashy fiction (A Jack Reacher) and Kate Mosse's Labyrinth. Day on the sofa it is. Will think about how to go to the loo, eat etc with Velcro kraken when the time comes.

Marvellous pass see you soon! Are we meeting in the eating bit? (tries to be subtly vague on interweb, fails miserably). Sorry if this has already been agreed and I've missed it!

YW I wouldnt have thought I'd have to spell out such boundaries to him. Maybe you are right. I guess I'll see what happens over the coming weeks. I dont want to 'grass him up' to his mum and dad, but at the same time I know they will make him see sense that I am not just having a hormonal strop.

Devastating about that family as news of the circumstances emerge this morning. Things may not be great here but it does put everything into perspective. Laura would be at school with their eldest child.

Ooh lilliana we're not scary! And F needs some girly company evil and madam have big boy babies Are you on the fb group? I think next Wednesday is a possible if you find the right pants

On the subject of broken families, dh's ex-p is now married and expecting her 2nd baby, me and dh are married and have a baby, and both families can offer secure, loving environments for dsd. She may have had a temporarily broken home, but she now has 2 very mended homes. If this relationship has to end, apple and mm, it isn't the end of the world, just the beginning of a new chapter in your and your LOs lives.

The snow is blowing horizontally through the air

Well at the risk of being truly hated by the quiche, one of the positives I can take from being in hospital is E has become a fantastic sleeper. There aren't many benefits so please give me this one (beg emoticon). She has been self settling and tends to sleep through the 1am tube feed and obs and then sometimes through to the 5am one. She goes back nicely after this one till around 9am. Before you all shoot me I haven't had nearly as much sleep as that! Ive been woken by nurses at least every 3-4 hrs!

Now I know that a lot of this is due to her being fed through the tube at night and therefore not waking from hunger. My dilemma for when I get home is do I put her back in her Moses basket next to us or shall I move her straight to her cot. She has got used to sleeping in a big cot so not sure if she'll like being put back into the basket and now she's used to a cot I don't want to ruin it. At the same time I'm not sure there will be room for her cot in our room and I'm not sure I'm ready for her to go into her own room yet. I'm sure she will be fine and she's only next door but I just don't know. Anyone have any wise words (or just general ramblings) of advice.

Yay detective go O!

mm I think you are wise to not make any rash decisions. I am guilty of making silly decisions in the middle of the night. This is such a major decision make sure you are in the right frame of mind when you make it. Does he know how close you are to leaving him?

Cot Eliza and I don't think anyone here will hate you for having decent sleeps after everything you have been through. I fact no-one would hate you anyway :)

Cot Eliza. No one begrudges anyone sleep. It gives us all hope!

It's hard doing it but you will both get more sleep and if you've cracked it in hospital then don't look back. I found a video monitor really helped me.

Eliza - could you move any of your furniture into her room to make room in your for the cot? our chest of drawers was in dds room when she was tiny so we had her cot in our room?? but would def keep her in the cot?

What is the long term plan for her, hope she takes more forumla from the bottle and reduce the tube feeds?? hope you get home soon x

Sleep regression here... Lucy has slept from 11 - 6.30-7 ish for at least the last couple of months, now we are lucky if we get to 5-5.30 (more like 4!), even if feed her at midnight. little monkey will then go back to sleep until 10 though... hmmm think might need to think about a routine of some sort!

Just getting ready to go meet some quiche members! Yay!

@Passmethecrisps

luis I am really interested to hear more about your experiences as a SAHD. My DH will be the main carer for P when I go back to work in August. We are hoping she will get an extended place at nursery for three days so he will do the drop offs, pick ups and the two days without. I know he is a bit of a mix of nervous and excited. At the moment he is completing his PhD so is out most of her waking day. As a result I often feel it is just easier for me to manage P as I hold her schedule in my head and tend to notice the wee changes from day to day (last week tired meant "moo moo moo" This week it is "aaaaiiiiiiii!!!" ) Any advice for him? Or me?!

I imagine mostly it's the same as being a SAHM. It's tiring, hilarious, heartwarming, heartbreaking. I had a reasonably good job, but J never settled in nursery when we tried roughly the set up you described, so one of us realistically had to give up the career, and it made more sense for it to be me. Adjusting to being financially dependent on someone else was hard I haven't managed it yet

I'd say the main difference is in the reactions of other adults. When other dads find out I'm a SAHD they often immediately try to think of something special they've recently done for theirs, to prove they are good dads too or something like that. It's quite funny. Mums who are at roughly the same stage as us tend to open up to me a lot when they find out. Older women tend to be the annoying ones. I've had people turn to MrsG when I say I'm a SAHD and ask her "Can he cook? Can he clean?" as if I'm not there.

So, yeah, I guess my advice to him would be learn to ignore older women, listen to current mums and laugh at other dads, all while doing your best and enjoying it. And accept all the help you can, especially from grandparents.

Which, when I put it like that, is exactly the same as SAHM's, isn't it?

Ooooh, Lilliana we are lovely. Promise. And it is very nice to chat to people who are going through the same things at the same time. We'd love to meet you!

BPLP I completely agree with what you say about new families. DSD is happy and well adjusted, adores her siblings and they adore her too.

luis my DH (part time DAHD) struggles with the financial dependancy too. However, older women always seem to praise him when out and about with the DC, and he basks in it. His friends are also unequivocally jealous. Interestingly as a FT WOHM, I get pity from other women, and admiration from blokes. I need neither.

izzy have fun!

What's everyones' thoughts on eye colour? DS is definitely not going to be blue, his are a lovely green / hazel at the mo just like his Dad. Am wondering if they are going to stay like that or if its midway to brown eyes like mine?

eliza cot, definitely. Can you rearrange furniture as fairimum suggests?

Sounds very similar then.

I have just come back from a scary drive to nursery and back. Layer of snow froze overnight and more on top of that. Nothing gritted outside my village and the main road. All the little villages between very scary.

Eliza definitely cot. Seems a shame to waste such an opportunity. And nobody would begrudge you sleep! I want every quiche member to have amazing sleeping babies every night. Me included obvs
YW eye colour. Hmm well O was born with dark brown eyes with a blueish tint around the edge. They are now dark brown and think they will stay that way. He is half Chinese though so I think that explains it.

Jealous of quiche meet but excited to hear how it goes

Right, bumbos. Or similar. Am keen to buy O a seat of some sorts as he now has decent head control. Like the look of the M&P snug seat as it can be used past 12 months by removing the insert. Anyone have any experience of it or any other bumbo alternatives?

Nothing against bumbos exactly but I prefer the wider bottomed ones

Also, Ikea. Will be going to my local one in a few weeks. Any recommendations of good baby stuff? Next on our shopping list is weaning stuff. Do they do suitable bowls and spoons etc?

after yesterday bit of Velcro baby though did manage to transfer and get iron out before dh got back so at least I looked useful when he got home!
day 1 of dh being away and miss him already . even though he would normally be in work right now!
placed Bumbo in loo so will plonk dd in this when I wee hopefully she won't cry as much if I'm there or at least I won't feel as guilty!!
I want a jumperoo !!! dh is fed up of me getting new gadgets especially as we are 1k overdrawn now on joint account when we had paid it off before hand !!
and help ...had cot bed off a manager of dh but wanna get New mattress ... economy and safety in addition to comfort a must! any recommendations!

the ikea high chair is amazing! think about £11 and the tray is £4 - best baby buy for us!!

yeah I may get a couple of those Ikea high chairs to leave one in our pil holiday apartment.
instead of a bouncer I got dd the chicco chair ... (purple one with Mrs owl) is my best buy...dd been sleeping in it since she was about a week old! is fab cos it means she can sleep at a slight incline or vertually flat and can sit her right up too!