November 2012 - Four months? Oh no, the dreaded sleep regression!

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1698894-November-2012-BFPs-Already-You-girls-are-going-to-have-some-fun

Instead of marking place, please could those of us with older siblings post something (positive) they are looking forward to as our babies get older. I think it would cheer us up since so many are struggling at the moment.

MissMummy huge hugs. Hope you are ok. You haven't failed, don't look at it this way. It is better to have 2 parents being content but living separately than 2 parents being unhappy living together. My sister sent her husband away at the beginning of January, they have 3 kids under 7. The kids have their smiles back on their faces. Although it is hard for the parents but so worth to see 3 little ones finally opening up, they witnessed way too many arguments and unhappiness in their short lives.

We were up twice. O refusing breast today, I wonder why. She is mixed fed, I had retained placenta so didn't have any milk till day 10 and my supply never caught up with her demand. She has been funny with breastfeeding for the past week, I am not ready giving up just yet.

MM hugs. No advice, but do give things a second thought in the cold light of day, but whatever you decide, we are all here for you to vent if needed.

Thanks kirrin, yes, someone always has to wait their turn. Very hard as they both just wanted a cuddle, but I have to move for DS and DD too heavy to have a cuddle when am doing that. However, DH did come home and immediately sort DD out and today is another day. A hoping DS's bad night is a random fluke and not to be repeated and am trying not to link the crap night to the fact that DH looked after him all day.

MM no advice, as cat says just look at things in daylight. Quiche always here xx

Snot, snot, snot PR I too am sick of it. I want my happy happy happy boy back.

madam It quite possibly was linked, but only in as much as your DH will do things differently to you. LO will become accustomed to DH's ways (assuming that wasn't a one-off!) before too long and will adapt, I'm sure :)

pikz and pr Sympathies re nose goo. Fingers crossed I haven't had too much of an issue there, but when they both had a cold at Christmas they were definitely more of a handful. To have it go on this long is most unfair. Can see why it is becoming frustrating. Roll on Spring!

mm I have nothing to add on what people have already said, but we are all here for you to vent to if you need to. My dh used to get the guilts, 3 years on, about leaving his ex-p and breaking up their family - and even contemplated trying to go back and make things work out, so they could call themselves a "family" but the reality is, as someone said earlier, that children are happiest when their parents are happy, and that doesn't necessarily mean living under the same roof.

pikz also fed up of snot. Dh, who could sleep through the room falling down around him, was disturbed by Fs snorting and grunting and blowing of snot bubbles last night now he knows how it feels - I had earplugs in so remained blissfully unaware

MM hugs I know you've been mulling this over long and hard. Nothing to add other than judge him by his actions not his words.

A bad ish night last night but nowhere near as horrific as feared thanks to Calpol and baby olbas - managed seven hours - I should STFU really shouldn't I? Could have done with longer as a bit ropey still myself. DH was a total star and did night dosing and baby settling duties. Reflux seems better than yesterday

We have a new song which makes the ill bear smile 'don't blame it on the sunshine.. blame it on the bogies' to the tune of the prince song.

Wish I were meeting up with the haggis quiche today - boo - next time! Lots of love from us x

Love you mm . Take it slow.

To all of you with shitty nights big hugs, I'm passing round the

I am just about to deliver Little O for his first real try at nursery. 1 hour without mummy or daddy.

pr have you tied a kindle with a cover with a light in? I have found mine brilliant for reading in the night and not waking DH and any child that may happen to be in my room at the time.

Can I just say thanks fuck for Jumperoo???

Actually mm what the old large pig said is so true. I still feel guilt about laving exH because of the girls. The girls are actually ok as we have worked hard to keep the main part of their life stable which is why they are at their dads for the main part, but I have to say my boys are the happiest little chaps you would ever know. Nursery tell me at least once a week. I think is because me and DH are so happy. ( not that you would know it from his grumpy Ulster disposition but we are)

mm Tilly is a baby, she will never remember any of this. If you have made your mind up to leave then it is best to do it now and do it as amicably as you can and Tilly will will hardly be affected. Yes, she'll be bought up with a broken home but she'll never know any different so won't actually go through the pain of her parents splitting up. As you said yourself coming from a broken home isn't a stigma anymore. As long as both you and your DH work towards bringing Tilly up in a loving environment (no doubt you will) and that you regularly gets to see her dad she will be absolutely fine. Look after yourself x

mm I second what others have said take it slowly and if it really is the end then there is no guilt to be had.
have you had any time just the two of you to talk things through? At Christmas I was convinced that me and dh were heading for the end ... but knowing that he cared was all I needed to put us right back on track!
just put dd back down she is making some loud sounds but I want her to go back to sleep cos I need it! may try boobing her again! bad mam alert

Sorry to hear of bad night's.

PR I bet you will be welcoming spring with open arms after all this illness.

mm hugs and . I second the posters who said to think this through again in the cold light of day, but from your posts it sounds as though it is something you have been considering for a while. I recognise a lot of my OH in your description of your OH and I have thought of leaving many a time. M will not suffer from having two happy parents who do not live together.

mm I have nothing further to add except just to say that I still wish my parents had broken up. Lving with parents who tolerated each other then as time went on actively hated each other meant that I was out of there as soon as my A Levels were over and rushed into some really damaging relationships with some really nasty pieces of work. Each trip home was blighted by the underlying atmosphere of resentment.

When DD1 was a few months old I went back home for the first time since my dad died and it is pretty much the only happy memory I have of that house. The first time we all got on, and I wonder now that, if they had broken up, I wouldn't have had so more happy memories and been more self confident and happier in my own skin as I grew up.

My mum spent 40 years in a loveless marriage and I wish she had had the strength to leave and find happiness. I'm not comparing your DP to my dad but if you can't work through your problems, and you might be able to, but if you can't there is no shame in walking away. In fact it is a brave thing to do, and as your DP is a good dad then Tilly will be able to spend time with him in a happy home, and with you in a happy home. Trust me that growing up in an unhappy home is hell.

MM so sorry to hear things have gotten to this stage. I'm sure you will do what's best for both you and M. We are all here for you.

Well after dp got up for work I took S back up, we had about an hour but then she was awake again poor thing. Does anyone have the snot sucker that come with the tommy tipee (sp?) pack with the baby brush and comb in? It seems way to big for S's nose, am I missing something??

sweetpea like in the UK spring made a brief, welcome visit last week but the snow has been falling all night, it's bloody windy and winter is very definitely back. Bugger off winter. You're killing the flowers and the bees and butterflies that all came out to play last week. feel free to target the spiders and wasps nests though, do something bloody useful while you'e here

It gets easier, everyone. I promise. This was about the lowest point with J.

O had a fairly good night for DP last night. I'm not saying this to brag especially as I know it won't last but to give those struggling with sleep hope that it can get better.

He slept 1930 - 0030 - 0415 - 0700. I think the teething gel and calpol before bed helped.

We have the four month regression still to hit as he is only 15 weeks but it is encouraging.

MM- do what you feel is right. I also second what everyone else has written. When I left p for that weekend, I think it hit him, about how important we are to him. He does take me and N for granted.

Now for some good news!
N has slept from 2030 till 0910. With one feed at 0430. Happy mummy!!!!

Evil

Thank you all. I was sounding off a little bit but I am going to look into where I will stand regardless. If the threat of me leaving doesn't inspire him to change his ways then the reality when it's too late might just.

I also grew up in an unhappy household that only changed when my dad left. It is the last thing I want for my daughter, but the situation here is diferent in that he loves his dd and there are happy times. I am so confused.

Morning.

Sounds like there are some torrid times for babies and their makers.

luis I am really interested to hear more about your experiences as a SAHD. My DH will be the main carer for P when I go back to work in August. We are hoping she will get an extended place at nursery for three days so he will do the drop offs, pick ups and the two days without. I know he is a bit of a mix of nervous and excited. At the moment he is completing his PhD so is out most of her waking day. As a result I often feel it is just easier for me to manage P as I hold her schedule in my head and tend to notice the wee changes from day to day (last week tired meant "moo moo moo" This week it is "aaaaiiiiiiii!!!" ) Any advice for him? Or me?!

Glad you got some peace in the end sweet. Good old calpol.

mm morning dudess. Will Dime Bar cake make you feel better?

Dime bar cake makes everything better . What's weather like over your way? Snow has turned to compacted ice in our street as the bloody gritters dont grit private roads but all the main roads around here seem fine!

MM we are in the same boat. We too have good times and P is brilliant with DS but I don't think that's enough. He has promised to change blah blah blah but if he doesn't then I can't keep going along with this pretending I'm happy when I'm not. I don't want DS growing up listening to us arguing all the time but I'm torn because I don't want him to grow up in a broken home. It's so hard to know what to do for the best. At the moment he is still here but I'm pretty sure it won't last.

Some more good news,
I have N first artwork! Pic on Facebook.

Evil