October 2011 - Learning to accept our babies are toddlers

[ClimbingPenguin]

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I've hired someone to get all our babies to sleep while we go get sloshed in the corner

I thought they were too young for on the floor tantrums too but we have had a few recently - particularly of the bending the back variety (which are lovely to try and deal with!

I recommend sign language Engels I was very impressed with how quickly they pick it up. I even thought about being a Teacher for it and DH was very sceptical about it at first saying it's slows their speech.

Last week P was sat on her bedroom windowsill getting dry and DH drove off to work in the car, I pointed out "there's Daddy going to work" thinking she would be happy about seeing him and she ended up crying and shouting after him - will never make that mistake again! :(

Anyone got any exciting presents lined up for Fathers Day :) ?

The sign language teacher thought it might be good for M because we're going for bilingualism, so if we use the same gestures he'll understand the connections between our 2 languages.

DH is getting a card and M made him something at nursery (I think it's a bookmark) which is more than I got fof mother's day!

M has been crazy all day - I'm hoping he's teething and it will pass!

Evening all!

finally getting chance to update! been home a week now and getting back to normal has taken longer than i thought. we had a great time away and im sad to be home. i had thoughts running through my head while away about what it would be like to move over for a few years, but i dont know if i would be brave enought for it! flights went well, coming home more so than flying out there. plane was full on outward journey so S had a crappy sleep laying across me and my cousin but on way home the plane was empty so we had 4 seats which was great. i took a mini dvd player which killed an hr or so and the rest of the time she was playing in the aisle with a little boy and girl who were seated in front of us!

while i was away, her dad got in touch again asking to see her.. i was serious last nov when he said the same and done nothing about it so i replied telling him to jump of a bridge not to dare speak to me, that he would never be her dad. end of. needless to say, no reply! what the hell is he playing at? he said hes now moved back here (moved to the capital Edin just as i found out i was pregnanat) and was ready to be a dad to her . my thinking is if he is as serious as he says he is, my reply shouldnt put him off, but after almost 2 years hes not just thinking he can play happy families. ive done pretty damn good with her on my own up till now. its not changing just cause hes now ready to be a father to her! grrr!!!!

ive started applying for new jobs. my hours have went right down with my current one, plus there was a training day while i was away so i cant take on any shifts at the moment as i missed this. pita but not much i can do about it. looking to go back to my roots so ive applied for a few council run pre schools. not sure what my chances are though as its been a while since i was in that enviroment.

got all my maternity hospital notes through today so im looking forward to going through them all shorty. not sure how much i will understand as its obv a lot of dr jargon but i'll give it a go. lots of scan photos as well that i hadnt previously seen!

hope everyone is well. hope you get good news ips and yay for test results cheshire

strawberry, engels im trying to get back into reading. used to get through so many books but dont think ive read more than 3 since S was born! my aunt brought over amanda knox autobiography from usa as its not being published here so ive started on that. feel a little uneasy reading it, but curious.

I'm still reading a lot but not so much sci fi / fanstasy sorry so no recommendations here engels! I tend to read chick lit and man lit/crime fic interspersed with some literature and my book club books which are usually very earnest books with deep meaning no wonder all i want is chick lit etc the rest of the time

Duck glad you had a good trip, and how annoying about S's "dad". It must be so hard.

We have tantrums here as well, had a doozy the other day because he wanted to do the dishes (code for splash water everywhere). He didn't listen to reason that there were no dishes to do and insisted in flailing around on the ground yelling "dishes!".

Most of his tantrums though are to do with screens. We try to limit them in theory but it's creeping up as i get more tired (mostly watching youtube or using a tablet) but he gets very grumpy when they get switched off.

Glad you had a great holiday Duck . I am starting to wonder about how M will cope, especially with going to sleep. I am guessing he's going to doing a lot of sitting on my lap/reading whihc is all he wants to do with me atm (and makes it impossible to get anything done during the day) and walking up and down the aisles.

Wwe are thinking of getting a small/cheap buggy to take with us rather than our Maclaren. Not sure if it's a good idea or not?

Picking up our tickets today. have M's passport but slightly freaked out that we haven't booked any accommodation except the first night in Christchurch and our overnights in Wellington and Auckland (with friends). Can't believe we go in just over 2 weeks and will be seeing DSis2 and my best friend next month!

for situation with S's dad. I can only imagine the feeling of wanting to protect her from hurt and being let down. I don't know if I would be able to forgive someone who'd abaondoned me through pg, birth and 2 years of DC's life.

Good luck on applying for new jobs.

And re: reading, I've just tagged onto the 50 books in 2012 thread and have realised I'm on number 25 (when I include stuff I've had to read for school this year and helped greatly by the 7 books by George RR Martin!). Must get organised for holiday!

M has still been a bit nuts this weekend and often refusing to eat in the evening (it will pass!). Our tantrums are mostly when we're busy with something else, or he wants to go outside pen (little bugger won't sit still for longer than 5 mins to watch a screen yet). and btw made me chuckly to imagine A rolling around on the floor wailing "dishes!". M's vocab is still very basic! Actually, it's weird, he's been saying dog/hond fine for weeks and now all of a sudden he says woof woof when he sees a dog and refuses to use the real words (to quote Friends, it's like the words "just fell out of his head" ).

On the count down for the end of school now. 2 weeks to go!

And DH has another GP appt today. Hair loss def worse. He didn't want to go out this weekend though did manage to get to play park on Sunday whihc was good for him (and us). I will likely get it in the neck from MIL today because we didn'y go down to ILs caravan for Father's Day (I asked DGH and he said he didn't want to go).

Can hear M storring upstairs. have a good day everyone.

Engels - I took the mclaren and it was fine. I got to take it all the way to the gate which was handy and the air company gave me a big plastic bag to pack it into which was good. Same with car seat, I was worried about it getting thrown around (as what happened to her baby one going to London, was filthy after ) so I was going round airport trying to find one of those 'cling film' wrapping machines, but in the end they gave me a bag to put it in. I've saved then for any future trips! I also kept her little life reins handy but in the end she walked well next to the pram. I found having her walk all the way through the airport to the gate helped to tire her out a bit. The sleeping across our knees on the outward flight was a nightmare and it ment she only had half an hr . I could've had her sitting upright over my shoulder but the plane was so hot and I felt like I was suffocating with her body heat also . Maybe worth asking when you check in if there are any spare seats they can seat you next to, or I've found that the back of the plane can usually be more 'quiet' so you may get to snag an empty seat. 3 seats at the back of our flight were used by the air stewards but they were happy for a lady to lay her dc across.

Sounds a great trip and I'm sure you will get somewhere to stay.

Tantrums here tend to be when it's time to come in from the garden or when the water in the bath is going cold and it's time to come out!

Speech here is really picking up now. My parents seen a huge difference from not seeing her in 4 weeks. We have had a few 4 word sentences. Still has her own words for a few things ie 'wawa dis' is 'another one' and 'wa-du wa-du' is 'not want it'. Kinda cute!

Engels Re the buggy I guess it mostly depends on how much you want to be able to carry things under the buggy and how much walking you'll be doing - we took our good buggy, but did alot of walking so it suited me to be able to carry bags under it which I can't do in our cheap buggy. And if you'll be going into the bush at all.

And let me know if you have a free moment while in Wellington, but if not, I totally understand as well!

Duck that flight to Canada sounds ghastly.

Pen - it really was! She was so agitated the whole time! Coming home was much better!

Oh and I put 4 nappies and a half used pack of wipes in her little life bag and used that to go change her on the plane, saved carrying a bigger change bag in a cramped space!

Thanks for the feedback ladies. Was umming and aahing about the buggy thinking "If it goes missing..." but it would probably be more convenient than a cheapo one (we have the rain cover, we can put stuff under it, wheels are better, can extend handles for tall DH). The rain cover/canopy is the biggest thing for me - especially heading to NZ in winter!

We can check in online for our flight but wondering what seat combination is best when flying with M (he doesn't have his own seat). Guessing we can't have the emergency exit seat with a small child (tough luck 6ft + DH!). Think an aisle seat would be good so we can walk him up and down (which I am anticipating having to do a lot!) and obviously next to each other so he can lay across us if needs be.

Pen would love to see you if we can (though I may then have to insert your real name in my head instead of pen!). Will check my dates. We are definitely staying in Wellington for 2 nights...somewhere like Booklovers B&B?

Wanted to ask you actually, do most hotels in NZ charge you to hire a travel cot? Was wondering if it'd be worth trying to pick up a cheap one in CC at somewhere like The Warehouse (iirc!).

Great tip about changing bag Duck.

Have just been to supermarket and run into town to pick up our tickets/travel info. Popped in to see ILs on way back and ending up crying on MIL's shoulder about DH. I'm trying to get her to understand how bad things are with him, which no one does because he is pushing everyone away (except me) so everyone just thinks he's just a miserable bastard.

Engels, our plane was xxx xxxx xxx in terms of seating and I was told I had to sit in the middle 4 seats with her (not allowed by window seats) and the infant masks fall from the middle if needed. I made sure I was on the aisle though as easy to get up for the toilets and she enjoyed just standing in the aisle watching what was happening. I also put all our carry on luggage up overhead and she liked sitting on the floor by my feet to draw and look at her books. I'd also def try pick up something for M at the airport. S didn't have a seat either and they didn't offer her anything to eat so I got her a sandwich and some snacks that she ate through out the flight. I also got one for myself as I wasn't wanting to try and juggle her and my dinner tray

How long is your flight?

Thanks for the tips - will check with KLM and Air NZ about seating. Sure I read that they do provide some food for under 2s with no seat but am planning on stocking his bag as well.

2 flights of 12 hours (with a few hours inbetween in Hong Kong/Shanghai)

engels, N won't say dog/cat but he always does the noises if he sees one or you say the word! His barking is very sweet :) the only one he says without fail is horse, followed by clicking his tongue! His favourite word is more as he always wants more food/milk - I keep calling him Oliver

He's had a couple of tantrums when I have to get him up in the morning to go to nursery/ILs ad he wants his pjs back on :(

Mummy, that's interesting about the flights seats. We're going to Cyprus in September and the plane is xx xxx xx, we booked the window/aisle seats (there are 4.5 of us so 2.5 in front and 2 behind). They didn't say we couldn't sit by the window. I thought that would be best as we don't have climb over anyone and no-on has to climb over us. I didn't think about food. I guess I need to take a few bits for him. I think we will need to eat one at a time and he can have bits off our tray (although our flight out is 22:35 - 05:55!! Not sure what meal we're going to have - midnight snack?!

Engles I hope you have a fab time. You'll have to let us know how you get on. We're more than likely going to NZ in Feb/Mar for a wedding. We think we're going to hire a campervan so we can see a bit of the country without moving seb in and and out of hotels. Just got to work out what we do with the cats.

Got to get something off my chest...tonight was my slimming world night. I'm usually back about 8:30ish so I took some sausages (lo-fat!) and mash out of the freezer and left instructions on de-frosting. I was held up and didn't get back until almost 9. I was confronted with a grumpy dh saying the sausages are cooked and going cold. When I asked why he hadn't eaten he said he was waiting for me. The thing is though, he'd cooked the sausages but nothing else! (He'd not even closed the over/grill door to keep the heat in.) What on earth was the point of that? I then had to rush about heating up the mash and quickly cut up and cook some veg and make the gravy whilst re-heating the sausages. Honestly, he's a grown man. Even if I've have come home on time we'd only have had sausages. Does he think food cooks itself? Rant over...and breathe!

Tally - typical man!!! Hope your dinner was ok in the end

Perhaps it's just the plane we fly with that only has the masks in the middle. I couldn't even change my seats to a window one as I had an 'infant' on my booking with me. I guess with your flying times S might sleep for quite a bit of it which would be good.

We had window seats on our flights

Tally that's so annoying about DH. Your hiring a campervan idea is good too!

Engels We sat on the window seat in our trip but that was Qantas so not sure about KL/Air NZ. And we did need food too - most annoying part was having to buy water to fill his bottle once we cleared security, where water was confiscated. Boo.

AirNZ have kiddie packs for kids as well, but not sure if that's international as have only flown domestic with them for A.

I've never been charged for a travel cot here, but if you are buying one, they are about $NZ100 for a good one from a baby shop, so about 50 quid/euros (I think ...)

Oooh I just googled that B&B, good location! If you are a LOTR fan you're about half a km away from where some of the Hobbiton scenes were filmed.

And i hope the weather improves for you, right now it is truly shite. Cold. Wet. Yuck. But then, June is always the worst, coldest, most miserable month here.

I am dying to get back to Europe myself, it's been three years now since we moved back from London and I really miss it

I asked at nursery yesterday about tantrums/defiance and whether it was a bit early, the Nursery Manager told me they have a couple in the Baby Room who are already at tantrum stage! Apparently it's anything from 13 months-4 years!!! Can't imagine dealing with it until then. P's tantrums are every day at the moment, wants to be in the shower/out of the shower/wants to take her sleeping bag in the shower/wants mummy/daddy/to climb on the cat/wants to go upstairs/downstairs. I swear I am convinced everything ends in a paddy (and she was so chirpy before), < sigh > Plus she has started telling the poor dog off this week too, which we have realised is her copying us. Poor dog though, he get's told "no" twice at the moment.

Engels They gave P food when we flew to Dubai last year and some crayons, colouring book and a naff teddy. On the way out we were in front of the wall (ikywim) so they could attach the bassinet, so even though you wouldn't need that now it's a good place to be as there is no seat in front likely to be reclined. I would be surprised if you don't get good with KLM as form the times I have flown with them they can't stop handing out the food. I remember getting Magnum ice creams once :)
I hope you feel a bit better today .

23 degrees here today Pene ;)

Mummy I have kept meaning to ask about S's Dad and whether you had heard from him. I think you have the right response, he just seems to be stringing you along. Once every 6 months or so to send a text is pathetic. Fx in the job search, along I think it's a good idea to go to Canada for a couple of years if you can. Why not just for the experience, you have family there so the hardest part (I think) of making friends is already half sorted via family and if you don't like it no loss just come back.

Two very cute moments from P this week - on Saturday P was playing at the toy table in the coffee shop and she ran over to the little boy as soon as she saw him saying "Arfur, Arfur" and seemed really excited to see him. Arthur is in her class at nursery and I do socialise with his Mum but I thought it was so cute that she had seen him before us and recognised him . This morning I was getting her out of the car at nursery and she started saying "Noah" as a boy from an older class in nursery went inside - turns out he was called Noah. I think it's so lovely that she recognises them and knows their names. I was asking her tonight "is Arthur your friend", "is Bella your friend" etc, just reciting the others I know of in her class. Sometimes she said yes and repeated their name, sometimes she didn't (don't know whether I believe her or not yet though !)

Ches Ahh, so cute. Seb has little friends at childminders too who he likes to get into trouble with. His favourite is Tess, about 6 months older I think. This morning they arrived at the same time and he ran off to meet her getting out the car. They do have a love/hate relationship though as they will happily hit each other and then roll about on the floor in hysterics climbing all over each other [hmmm]. I know some people have a real downer on formal childcare (as apposed to family members) but you cannot replicate the relationship and social skills they build there.

Seb's having more tantrums too. He is very willful and knows what he wants. If he's not bothered he is so laidback and easy but as soon as he decides he wants something......

Mummy what a ! (S's dad, not you!) You've done a bloody good job.

Wander what (if any) goodies BA hand out to little ones.... I am impressed with their baggage allowance for him: 23kg (same as adult) plus buggy, plus car seat. And we only paid about £30 for him.

Wonder

Oops, didn't mean to do in bold...

Tally I agree about what you said about the relationships formed at nursery. A has a best friend too and it's so sweet. I honestly had no idea they could form such strong bonds with other children at this age, but he has - they even hold hands apparently, and last week he was crying and she gave him a cuddle to cheer him up (I'm told)

It's lovely to see them becoming their own person and making friends isn't it. W is finding it a bit hard at the moment though as one of the girls he plays with a lot is 2 soon and so moving on to the next 'group'. His key worker says he's been upset a couple of times when they've taken her for a settling session (the next group is on a different floor) and he hasn't been allowed to go with her.

Tantrums here too and he has a lovely high pitched scream that goes with it!

that's the advantage of our nursery, they are mixed aged groups.

DS has temper tantrums. DD didn't but I do find it quite amusing. At this age they aren't proper ones, more frustrated and simple reasons which is easy enough to deal with.

He is grouping three words together now and knows more colours. His pronunciation has really come along recently, I don't think his vocab is much better, just much clearer all round. He says thank you a lot which is quite sweet as it is not something we ask to them to say. I guess that means we have all been remembering to use it so he has picked up naturally enough.

I spent mon-wed away with work (which was lush as it was a 4 star hotel) but they seemed to have grown up in the time i have been away