November 2012 - Guess what we were doing this time last year

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1680077-November-2012-More-group-hugs-and-moral-support-please

No tax credits until April because they base it on the previous year when we were ok. Job news at the end of the month. It's such a long shot though, i very very much doubt I've done anything other than waste my time. Need to get on and apply for something i can actually do, got a contact in care (adults with sn) so back to that i guess. At least it's £9 an hour and flexible hours this time, my last one was minimum wage and 12 hour shifts. No prospect of promotion.

Eliza sounds really hard. I generally assume consultants know what they are doing but bombard them with questions anyway. It's possible that they are planning to do tests once in hospital and she has put some weight on. They don't like doing invasive tests on babies unless they absolutely have to.

As you're doing, write down all your questions, don't be shy. It's important that you understand the reasoning behind decisions they take. And try not to worry, if they thought it was something urgent they'd already have admitted her.

I hate snot too. my heart goes out to everyone having a bad time ... give it a few weeks more I'm sure that thread will be much more ... hang on in there...that's a message for me too - things are ok at the moment 6hr night sleeps (followed by more) I usually shower everyday (d plays on her mat) but I too had moments of disrepair today. and tears and thinking I'm a bad mum. I really wish I could learn to let those go and hang onto the cute cooing smiling ones. I know that's what others do else the population would be in decline!!
(am mainly marking place and thought it was too weird there were 777 posts).

• despair

Eliza that's really hard. Sorry you're going through this. I often think pead/consultants don't like to support bfing as they can't trust in something they can't see & don't assume its good enough. I have read many times that bm is actually higher in cals than fm so gawd only knows why a label of poor weight gain leads to a f top-ups suggestion as a first stop, rather than other options, but I digress... I would def seek a 2nd opinion & I would def get a clear answer on what they suspect is wrong, what they can/will do (inc tummy tube), what they can/will do to support you continuing to bf (if you still want to, but I imagine its easier for LO to get everything she needs from bm) and what will happen after the feeding tube option/she has gained. I would need to know that I'm not just being left to get on with it after, iyswim.

And oi pikz I'll have you know I only got 6hrs sleep last night DS was a v good boy & had the dummy at 1.40ish then slept until 5.25, but I'm still awake due to expressing then making DH get up & reading this thread. Should put phone down now....

Silly me :) feel stupid now. Feels better already even though it isn't morning!!.

I really really shouldn't moan. I'm just a worrywart!

pidj it was my understanding of tc's that although they are based on last years income, if this years is lower once they have calculated an award whether is is zero or not, you can have it adjusted to take current income/circs taken into consideration. Though with bloody David Cameron, I suspect the lying, money robbing cunt has changed that. Have you tried the turn to us calculator for an accurate benefit calculator?

LO just vommed up her feed, and was laughing before it had finished coming out her mouth.

Babies are gross.

Cat, DPs is a skoda fabia. not the most desired of cars either but in 1 day on autotrader, and a couple of hours on gumtree it was sold, and had about 9 enquiries.

Sold on first viewing. It surprised me!

I did the pics and the ads. Would have been waiting forever otherwise!

I don't shower every day. Try to every other day. Everything still seems difficult to do. Even though it is easier than when he was first here, it still isn't easy. Though I have a habit of thinking it's going to be harder than it turns out to be sometimes .

I feel torn. I want to spend every second of the day with O, but I can't or nothing would ever get done. But I feel like he never gets enough of my time. I do try, but there never seem to be enough hours in the day .

I've told DP that today while he is at work and DS1 at his dads, I am doing no housework, today is a mummy and Oscar day. I'm at his beck and call, and we will have a bloody good bonding sesh!

VQ I meant about him being at the right age for some kind of weakness to rhe stomach muscle?! Sorry, I've forgotten what was said .

I'm in disrepair as well Contra!

IMO it's the accumulation of a sleep debt that makes everything sooo bad right now. J slept from 10-1:30 then 2-6 and is back asleep now. In the early weeks that would have made my day and I would have felt brilliant. But I haven't had a continuous night's sleep for the last 97 nights. My goal is to try and get him to self-settle a bit better as his daytime naps are all way too short at the moment so I'm he's a wreck at about 9 p.m. Once this current unsettled phase is over (jabs / growth spurt / cold?) I'm hoping we can get back to one night feed each night which I'll be happy with indefinitely so long as he'll actually go to sleep in the evening instead of all this mucking about when he should be tired. Hmmm, cut the caffeine out / down?

Apparently I was a terrible sleeper so my mum's quietly enjoying her revenge. So maybe we should take the long view. When our children have their own LOs we can tell then how terrible they were as babies! The worst thing I ever said to my DS1 when he was misbehaving was, "I hope your children are just like you"!

Still they're cute and all aren't they? J was full on chuckling yesterday when his Grandma was tickling him.

They are terrible teases .

I totally forgot O's jabs at 2.30 today. Fuuuuuuck.

I asked the GP yesterday if he should have them today as he is unwell. He said it would be fine. I'm not so sure.

I'll ring the practice nurse later who does them and ask.

I'm annoyed that my planned mummy and Oscar day is going down the pan as I'll have to spend time getting dressed and us out which inevitably ends up with him screaming and me having to leave him to it while desperately singing louder and louder and leaping around like crazy panpipe elf mother in an attempt to still get ready and get out on time but minus the screaming.

Sounds like fun, eh?!

I just want one day with no one else around and nothing to do so he feels like mummy can be there all the time. :(

Bloody snot. LO had melt down at saline but loads came out. I didn't get much sleep due to him sounding like a farmyard!

Stunt I too would like one wake up a night but I'm still revelling in no expressing during night which is an extra hours sleep!

Usually its only if they're on antibiotics detective that its a problem I think.

We need to buy a new car. Our Ford Focus just isn't big enough for 2 & a load of stuff.

However, a friend told me that her husband's DM & DF had a mini when he was growing up. 2 dc & going camping using a proper old mini??!! Don't think I can complain...

det no temp jabs are given. Trust me. Ds has had a cold both times :( I hope you will be ok going to work. I want to say send your dp out full time, you go back pt but I don't think that's possible from what you've said. And it was me who said about the sphincter weakening.

vq massive changes in my dept. I essentially haven't got a job to go I to. My job has been swallowed up by the new people they took onto many IMO however, there's a lot of project and commissioning work, which I am more than capable of doing, but am well within my rights to refuse any of it without a promotion. They know this.

eliza it's always hard going to an appointment like that. Drs hate it but if someone can't go with you, it's sometimes worth recording it. They may not give you permission though!! I'm going to give another view on this. They may be offering tube feeding to rule out additional testing. Best case it works, she puts on weight, there may be a tt issue (def get this checked by lll though). Or it could be there just aren't the calories in your milk or whatever. At least there's nothing medically wrong and she' leaves hospital having gained some weight. If she doesn't gain, well they can look into everything further. Does that make sense? Guidelines ate generally you treat what you see, if it doesn't work you investigate further. But most of the time it does.

I have complete sympathy with the lambs!!! They're great!!! I just really wanted to ride yesterday. And didn't. So I decided that was it, everything was going and the horse was going onto full livery with a school. Or being sold. I'm ok this morning!!

Morning

Congrats kirrin! Well deserved

Also congrats horsey! Apparently when I was very young I used to watch the slaughter man slaughter the lambs and sing him nursery rhymes. Mum and dad got lots of milage out of that when I became a vegetarian in my teens.

That all sounds worrying and confusing eliza. It would concern me that there seems to be a focus on feeding without identifying why there is a problem in the first place. Step away from Dr Google but don't be afraid to see your GP to talk through your concerns. Make a double appointment and go through everything you have noted.

detective in the morning p is brought down in her basket so the basket sits in the sitting room all day. All her naps are in the basket and she goes in the basket at 7pm for proper sleep. The difference between proper sleep and naps (naps for p are usually very short) seems to be the swaddle for nighttime and sleeping bag for day. Having her downstairs from 7pm means sometimes we spend the evening sitting at the dining table because she is a bit unsettled and turning the telly on would be likely to wake her up. That's not really a hardship for us though as it it just is two and that is how we used to spend our evening anyway so quite nice in some ways.

We haven't put her upstairs alone yet - I am so used to having her with me all the time. We were given a monitor but some nights she takes a lot of settling so we would be up and down the stairs all the time rather than just popping over to see her. Sometimes she just yelps in her sleep so we would be endlessly checking I think.

Meant to say VQ if your boss needs to see you they should be offering KIT pay. Otherwise they can piss off. What is email for if it's not for communicating from a distance?

Really bloody fed up with snot. I thought we were over the worst at the weekend but P was a miserable wee rag yesterday. I have never known her to sleep so much during the day and when she was awake she was moaning to be asleep again. The problem being she seemed to be so overtired that she would roar and scream for ages when put down. She is now refusing to sleep anywhere but her basket - weirdly she does sleep in the pram but it is almost like she doesn't count it. Se wakes up and wants a nap within no time almost like she hasn't slept. She is the same in the car seat now.

She woke/was woken (not sure actually) at 7:30 this morning and was wanting put down again by 8. She seems completely done in.

I could do with a nap myself - between her snorting followed by complete silence (cue panicked checking by me) and DH coughing and snoring I have been essentially awake by 3. I am getting sleep though so I shouldn't be complaining at all.

Lol pass!!! I don't eat meat. I have decided I want to keep all one of the lambs as its so pretty. I must check the sex!!!!

My day job is nothing to do with animals either. I think I should have married a farmer!!

Oh ds not upstairs alone either. We're going away at Easter and I think my plan was to move him after that. However he keeps waking himself bashing his arms on the pram so I might move him next week after his jabs. Sounds silly but ill miss him!!

chunky A couple of years ago we went down to Cornwall for a week's camping in a Peugeot 306. That was me, 6ft 1" DH, 11 yo, 8 yo, 2 yo. And our border collie. In the front passenger footwell. The tent took up half the boot by itself and then we had to fit in sleeping bags, a box of cutlery/crockery/saucepans, a box of food, clothes, folding chairs, double ring camping cooker and small gas bottle. The kids were underneath the soft stuff like sleeping bags in the back. I think there might have been less than a cubic foot of airspace in the entire car and we were driving from the very top of North Yorkshire to Padstow. NEVER. AGAIN.

Detective Your description of leaping around, singing like a crazy panpipe elf mother was both familiar and hilarious

Morning all.

detective I'm trying not to think about the work/sleep situation. It has the potential to be beyond hideous. I'm just hoping they put me back on a quiet easy ward that requires minimal brain power. LO sleeps and feeds on and off between 7 and 9pm, in the lounge with us, as she wouldn't settle on her own before then I quite like it too On the rare occasions she does go up earlier than this, all I ever hear over the monitor is farting

eliza so sorry to hear about what's been going on. Is it possible, as pr said, that they are planning to do a few tests whilst in hospital, whilst simultaneously trying to fatten her up? This is an approach used in adults quite often (admit for investigation & generic treatment of a symptom - in this case, poor weight gain).

I also struggle to have a bath/wash hair - have given up trying before 9.30 when she settles in her bed for the night as it is doomed for certain failure.

pennie we put F upstairs in his cot at 7-7.30 with the monitor on. He stopped sleeping downstairs at about 8 weeks when he just wouldn't settle. He now (so far) sleeps until a last feed at 10.30pm. There are some nights when he takes lknger to settle but he's very good mostly. I then sleep in with him overnight.
eliza hugs from here. It's so hard to know what's best to do so i'd just go with your instinct. I think i'd be asking about what happens after tube feeding too. I've seen a baby in a local cafe being tube fed so it can be done outside hospital.
It's rhymetime day at the local library here, F seems to really like it. And it's free and just at the end of the road - hurrah!
And in other news we're attempting potty training with ds1. He's really good at wees. No success with poos yet - the nursery staff were v pleased to tell my husband that he was in the same pair of trousers yesterday, no-one had noticed him do a poo in his pants. Hmm!!!

Morning everyone. Lovely Tuesdays. Just me and Little O. Poached egg and a cup of tea am ready to face the day.

Still rightly fucked off about my bleeding. The receptionist won't let me see the nurse for another two weeks and detective you have just reminded me that the appointment I have might bizarrely but up to O's next jabs.

eliza that all sounds horrible and very stressful particularly if your H isn't about this week. Keep away from DR Google he is a scare mongerer. If they were super worried I am sure they would have your LO in straight away, but if she is not gaining weight then it does need looking into. Big hug emoticon

VQ my first thought was the same as pass you should be paid for a KIT day if you have to go in and you are not being paid by work at the mo.

Oh, on the putting them upstairs discussion. Olly goes up to his cot at 6:45 ish and we stay downstairs. I usually do go up around 8 for shower and go to bed with my book or iPad until feeding time at 10 but that is only because I am still trying to get rid of the ingrained tiredness still from the early days. I think I am getting there with that though as I am getting a decent stretch after that last feed.

Morning all, thanks so much to you all for advice and sympathy. It's much appreciated.

bryzoan sorry to hear your story but thanks for sharing, it helps. And you are right, she won't take a bottle despite much perseverance.

vq yep, sorry it is feeding tube not drip, she isn't dehydrated.

stunt yes, they have physically examined her abdomen. And sorry to hear your story too.

pr and horsey thanks for making me see that going into hospital isn't the end of the world or as scary as I thought. I guess like you said horsey if she did keep in the extra calories it would just mean she isn't getting enough and there is no underlying medical cause which would be the best result all round.

chunky I agree, a hospital admission maybe a very short term fix, will ask how it will be handled going forward, but I guess they may have more idea of what they are dealing with after a hospital admission.

I think that covers all the points raised.

On the showering front, I certainly haven't managed it every day since DH has been away. I mostly tend to do it in the evening when DD1 is in bed and E I sleeping in between cluster feeds. I can only really shower in the mornings if DH is here or DD1 is at preschool. So it's actually not E causing me the shower issues but DD1.

Right I'm off to call the LLL. Happy Tuesday all and hope everyone has a good day. All round.

I know it's not quite the same Eliza but my DS2 (6yo) has been having weight gain and other issues and it has been hard to get a diagnosis. They are trying different things to see what might be going on but the one thing they are doing is increasing his calories by supplementation (the kind of thing they would give to a very ill child who couldn't eat properly). It's only a temporary step but it gives us a break as it allows him to keep gaining weight while other avenues are being explored. So please try not to worry too much, you are doing just the right thing.