October 2012... PELVIC FLOORS!

[Londonmrss]

Ready...
Steady...
And squeeze!

this is why I should get a cleaner

Anyone else experienced this - I get shocked expressions when I say I'm going back to work (PT hopefully) in October.

"Really? Not at 6 months??" I explain that without family support nearby we feel it (for us) would be very hard/stressful to go back in April. What I don't say is that we feel we can (just) afford it - DH doesn't earn lots but we got pretty good at living on 1 salary while paying off my student loan. And we're debt free, renting etc.

Do ppl act all shocked and curious whether you go back at 12 weeks or 12 months?! Ie damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Yay Livvy!

livvyi am SO happy for you!

Yay Livvy!!!!!!!!!!! Brilliant!! Cleaners are width their weight in gold! No pun intended......!

Zara u want to see the reaction to going back at 4.5 months..... Look like they might call childline! My blunt explanation is that I'm self employed and can't afford it. That shuts them up. And as for the stay at home dad, hee hee! Well this is Ireland after all....

Smorgs so pleased DS better!!!!! I think poo is big issue here too. He is in much better form since started pooing again. And tho still up 3 times in night, longer stretches asleep

Huffle yes I can just imagine "A daddy? Looking after the babby? Jaaaayyyysus"

My work colleague said her dad was amazed that her BIL pushes the pram "A man? Pushing a pram? Jaysus it's a strange new world"

Happily at the mum (well I should say parent) and baby group there are at least 5 dads!

Ha ha Zara!! When I was in labour my FIL couldn't understand why his son was with me. "Are they short on nurses or something?" Aged 74, first grandchild. Has not managed to hold him yet. Just sort of nods at him......!!!!!

My friend's premature baby has been diagnosed with cystic fibrosis. I feel absolutely bereft so god only knows how they feel.

Was supposed to be doing all sorts today but have cried a bit and come home to hold Jess very tight.

All sorts of terrible things seem to be happening recently to my friends and I feel really guilty and grateful at the same time. I feel awful about all the things I was saying to them yesterday (it will all be ok, you're doing so well) even though I know that is stupid. God. what do you even say. I sent a useless text.

He has just texted to ask if I can meet him in the park so more later

Livvy I'm kinda over it too...... He still feeding from me but seems hungry about an hour after. If I hadn't fed him to almost 20lb I'd be worrying he hadn't been getting enough......

I've done nothing amazing. I am pathetic and weak in so many ways but this got my goat and I was determined to continue. Was it foolish of me? For my state of mind, perhaps. He is loving the bloody formula....... But I am pleased we got this far. I will keep at the last feed for now but all day ones will be gone by end of next week and not sure i could manage night feeds and work.........

But here, hats off to those ff from start. What a bloody nuisance???????!!!!! Cleaning, sterilising, mixing, cooling, heating, screaming hungry impatient baby....... Never thought you would hear ME say it, but when it works, BF is much easier........

And on a positive note my mum was here yesterday and gave him a bottle for the first. I think I made her week. No, her year. She feels like a proper granny now.

Oh squid that is awful. Poor things. As discussed last week, best u can do is be there, be honest and listen to them. Platitudes and distance are not really what they need. It is very manageable these days in a lot of cases, but that's probably not what they want to hear

Hugs indeed. Xx

I can't express how relieved I feel. I was planning on spending the afternoon putting posters round the village as felt most likely was had come off when I took gloves off. in the event it was on the floor under the kitchen cabinets.

londonmrss best justification fo a cleaner ever.

huffle my dad is 70 and is the same as your FIL.

chuckling at irish reactions to dads parenting.

Thanks huffle I appreciate the info, going to try saline solution and nipple cream, can't see doc until tomorrow so just feeding off one side until then and expressing when I other boob gets too full. I just hoping it is my boob causing the blood in Ds s spit up, I m terrified of there being something seriously wrong with him. Still, it has made realise that despite everything I do love him so much, and I definitely don't want to be without him, so a step forward Pnd wise I think.

londonlivvy so glad you found your ring.

smorgs never thought teething could cause blood, I ll have a look on his mouth next time he screaming.

squid so so sorry for your friend.

Squid. Sorry about your friend. If it's any consolation my new next door neighbour has cystic fibrosis and is amazing. She cycled from lands end to John o groats two years ago. So maybe their boy will be ok, really? Worrying times though and you're absolutely right about it making you hold your bean close.

Oh squid, how awful, I'm so sorry to hear that. I know what you mean about feeling sad and lucky and guilty. But don't feel guilty. There's nothing wrong with appreciating how lucky you are.

Livvy so glad you found the ring - what a relief!

huffle know what you mean about all the faffing ff, in particular the cleaning of the bottles is my biggest bugbear. But there is one major element of convenience that someone pointed out to me - SOMEONE ELSE can do the feed!! Not to be underestimated when there are two dcs either.

zara people always seem to have an opinion on when you should be going back, not remembering that you might actually know when is the best time for your family. Gross overgeneralisation, but seems more women in their twenties go for 6m and those in their thirties or beyond go for a year, largely financial driven. I think you are a spring chicken so maybe that is why people are surprised . Round here, everyone assumes you are taking a year off which must be rather annoying if you don't want to / can't.

I went to baby yoga today, or rather baby-feeding-in-a-church-hall. DS decided to feed the entire time or squawk so didn't actually achieve anything other than a change of scene.

Squid so sorry to hear about your friend's baby :(

Livvy, yay on finding the ring!

Smiley, hope your baby's cold gets better soon, I often get cold in summer. Bleurgh.

Zara - you wanna hear people's reaction when I say we've virtually made up our minds I'll quit and be at home for a couple of years. I was an extremely driven, ambitious career woman. But the again, my career has been complicated and I didn't just study one thing and develop a career in it. I bounced around a lot and fell into what I do now. Buuuut, big but, it's an opportunity to build something bigger so we shall see!

Huffle glad things are settling down and improving on the feeding front!

Sane here, Oren. I'm quitting my current job and hope to find something part time later next year. People seem to think it's outrageous that I plan to not work for as long as is affordable. I made the decision to have a baby at the point when it would be possible to take a while off! I do worry a bit about getting back into work once I'm ready and how difficult it will be, but for me it's worth it! I don't see why anyone else even has an opinion. I can be a feminist and a sahm.

thanks guys. Sorry am a bit all over the place.

The hospital let them out to take baby for a walk so I went to meet them in the park. They look a bit shell shocked but were being VERY positive so I think that is good. God... to have a premature AND a cf baby... (the two are not connected). Anyway they said they were glad it had been diagnosed so early and the cf team had been amazing already (only diagnosed last night). Sheffield is a centre for cystic fibrosis so they were saying how lucky they were, being walking distance from the specialist clinic he'll be going to once a week, when most people are half a country away.

Baby is still 4 weeks off his due date and is now on... antibiotics four times a day, vitamins and enzymes twice a day, chest physio twice a day... for the rest of his life.

We walked around the park and had coffee in the museum and they said they'd cried all night but were in good spirits now, excited about going home tomorrow. Baby slept the entire time, prem babies are so serene. We taught Jess how to do chest physio on the table and she kept trying to eat my water bottle.

I'll go over monday when he goes back to work. try and lend a hand. I feel kind of useless. fucking hell.

Also the pram the hospital lent them was hilarious. It looked like something from the 20s, was bigger than my car, and its wheels don't steer so you have to drag it round corners. We had a good laugh about that.

Squid you are a good person - you are helping your friends more than you know with your support. Great that they're in better spirits. Feel very very grateful to have a happy healthy baby.

Well done squid, your support will be invaluable in these early, uncertain times. Good they are based in Sheff if there is great support locally.

God, there must be something going round right now.. I was supposed to see a friend tomorrow but her husband just phoned to cancel as her brother has died completely out of the blue.

We are so lucky and blessed with these wonderful children, must remember this even in the difficult times..

Sorry to hear about your friend's brother, October :(

On a lighter note, was carrying DS to the bathroom for his bath after nekkid-rolling-on-blanket-time. He was squirming and squeaking a bit... and then I felt a lovely warm gush go between my boobs, under my bra, out the bottom of my top and drip on the floor. Nice. He whizzed all over me. And he made the very male "urrrrghhhhhhhhh" sound of relief as he did it

squid sending you hugs, please feel free to keep venting to us, you are being a wonderful friend but that can be exhausting too. Was it diagnosed from heelprick screening or clinically - either way if it had to be am at least so glad for them that it's been picked up now. Poor them, so much to deal with and think about....
Hospitals seem to have a habit of lending evil prams - happened to dh when dd1 was born and he took her from scbu to see me on itu with a massive rusty pram (against hospital policy to actually carry your own baby!) - when he returned having struggled all the way the nurses laughed and said "oh yes, thwt prams awful. We save thwt for parents!"
october very good point about how lucky we are (cuddles baby a bit tighter).
Funny how judgemental people can be about work choices.... Surely the important thing is that we can all have as much freedom as possible to work out the best possible choice for us as individual families free of preconception from society? Being v part time is working for me right now quite well.... Fingers crossed!

zara thought that was going to be a poonami story for a minute - relieved for your sake it wasn't!