October 2012... PELVIC FLOORS!

[Londonmrss]

Ready...
Steady...
And squeeze!

Horsey
Ladybower is lovely
Round the whole reservoir would be lengthy - I have done it, not with baby!! - 20 miles or so.
There are lots of nice walks of varying difficulties
I went over the derwent moors which is steep and lots of climbing, amazing views
There are also pushchair friendly walks if you wanted
There is a nice centre there where there are maps or you could pick a waymarked trail if you wanted. There are toilets and baby change!!! We started from there. Upper Derwent visitor centre, Fairholmes
Tip - the parking there is silly prices but if you park on the road just before it it's free.

Thank you!! Would probably carry him but good to know there's the option of pushchair if needed!! Will see what the weather does and try to get up there.

We're really close to carsington water and never been to lady bower so thought it might be good to see it!! And get us ready for holidaying in the Pyrenees next month!

crazy how old is your ds1? I don't have much advice for you, except to say that I never felt very close to my dd, now 5, don't know if it was mild Pnd or not. I muddled along though, but as dd got older we got closer and closer. She s now 5, and loves hugs and cuddles even though she did nt get that many from me as a baby. Maybe your Ds will love cuddles when he is older instead? At the end of the day , you did your best during a terrible time and I m sure it's not had any ill effect on him. Babies are tougher than we think sometimes. I m sorry if my posts have brought back bad memories for you.

Can I rejoin the Facebook group by the way? I miss seeing all your cute baby photos? And I ve actually managed to take a photo of my Ds smiling!! Mr serious with a smile! I d like to upload it if no one minds.

turnwest before you posted I was literally just about to say, would love to see a picture of your little one!! I don't know how to get you back onto the group though, hopefully someone will be along soon who does! Mostly we just whinge on there anyway

You have done SO WELL to go to the GP, that is not easy - I have been there before, like crazy I left it way too long...
Have a think about the tablets and the counselling - youdon't have to make a sudden decision - are you seeing the GP again? Would be good to, I hope they asked you to go back in a week or two to see how things are. If you have worries or thoughts about tablets or counselling you could have a chat with her about it.

Hope you are feeling a bit better today.

turnwest don't apologise!! that's not what I meant...I guess I was worried I'd make you feel bad! ok will shut it now glad your GP was sympathetic - thank goodness for good GPs!

turnwest in going to add you as a friend on facebook and then see if I can add you to the group that way

Can someone add me to the fb group to? Will pm my name to whoever can.

Just back from walking the dog, it's trying to snow and in an hour so I'm taking one of my horses for a show jumping lesson. It's going to be so cold!!!

Oh how I wish I could just forget about my job imploding and concentrate on DS and DD.

It is pretty awful. As far as they're concerned I have been 'unprofessional' and that really does mean the end of that phase of my life.

DH is being wonderful and supportive despite being in Singapore. We have two lovely children. I didn't have any real prospects at work anyhow. Just have to remember this, and that my entire salary would have gone on childcare if I'd gone back - so financially it isn't a disaster.

thank you squid. do you have any other equipment (bucket, etc) Or do you just rinse out the poo and stick in the wash? Do you find those nappies restrict Jess' movement at all? so many questions. Sorry I just want to find some I like that aren't ridiculously bulky.

I've stated using my angelcare monitor annis am finding it really reassuring. it means I don't have to keep pointing her to check she's still alive. But because I'm a nobber I keep forgetting to switch it off when I pick her up and seeing the alarm off. Frightens the life out of me in the middle of the night.

turnwest how wonderful to hear you sounding more positive. Have a think about pills etc- they can sometimes be just a short term solution to allow you to think rationally enough to gain the other non-medical help you might need.

Am feeling low today. I'm all alone in this new city where I don't know anyone. I've been into town today and even though it is an absolutely lovely city, it's not my home. At the moment I don't feel like I have a home. I know London is faceless and people are rude, but it's my home. Feel like such a foreigner here and DH is away so I just feel very disoriented and alone. I should pop to the children's centre but I'm not quite ready to get out socialising yet- I want to get my bearings a little first.

Me me me. I'm boring myself to death. Shut up, mrss.

Londonmrss Yes I have bucket. Rather brilliantly, I was using a bucket from a beer-brewing kit I had ages ago, but it was a bit small so I bought a new one from ikea - just a plastic bin with a lid.
I also have washable wipes (fleece ones from ebay) so can chuck everything in the wash rather than separating stuff, and a mesh bag in the bucket so I can put it in the wash without touching the nappies.
I don't rinse poo, ebf so poo still runny and comes out easily in a normal wash. I have some liners in the cupboard for when she moves to solids, you can just flush those down the loo then wash the nappy.
I don't find the nappies restrictive at all. However babygros are tighter.
I only tried a few nappies a day first, and only at home. Built up confidence before using them more regularly.

I'm sorry you're feeling so homesick. It will take time and baby steps. Actually it might be easier with a baby than without - a straightforward way to meet other mums at least. I wish we could all hang out
Have a nice cuppa and cuddle baby. Maybe look on computer for fun events (lots of stuff on in cambridge I bet) When is DH back?

londonmrs thanks for adding me back onto the Facebook group, I did miss seeing everyone's photos, will try and add one of Daniel later.

londonmrs meant to say, sorry your feeling lonely but like squid says, its probably easier to get to know other people with a baby. I ve always wanted to go to Cambridge, sounds like a lovely place to live. What will you do about work? Are you going back to work? Or are you going to be a SAHM for a while?

squid I m going back to Gp in two weeks, going to take tablets too. I know how fast babies grow up and I don't want to look back and remember feeling miserable all the time, I want to enjoy Daniel as a baby. Still, easy to say today when I feel relatively cheerful, a bit harder to think positively when the black cloud descends. Hopefully the tablets will help. Jesse is beautiful by the way, so bright and intelligent looking.

londonmrss Cambridge can be vey bleak on a day like this - I feel for you. The good thing is the city is full of families taking advantage of the great schools! Can the children's centre give you a list of local parent and baby groups?

I'm bored with February. Roll on March!

turnwest I'm sorry this has been a frantic week for me and I haven't had time to respond to you. I know how tough it can be with two and I know the utter blackness that can descend and feels as if it can never be fought off. I'm so glad you've seen your GP and, as everyone's said, please know that we're here for you. This group has helped me through so much over the past year. It's an oasis. Do post a pic of Daniel on FB so we can coo over him. I bet he's very handsome even when grumpy.

londonmrss moving is hard, especially with your DH away. It's also the home stretch of winter - so fucking done with it already!!!! - but Cambridge will be BEAUTIFUL in the spring/summer. Hold on, it won't be long.

a mixed day. Firstly coffee and playtime at a new friend's house. I met her at the children's centre play groups and went about six times before I was then asked to join them for lunch and now finally at someone's house. so londonmrss I do utterly empathise with the loneliness but over the last couple of months I've gradually met folk and now I often bump into mums I've met. they're not my best mates or anything, but steps in the right direction!

This afternoon was hideous. she screamed and grizzled and wouldn't be put down. even in the sling I had to keep in perpetual motion. sigh. eventually a poo arrived at six and she's been fine since. the neocate is known for causing constipation and I feel horribly guilty for inflicting this on her.

turnwest its great to hear you sounding cheerier.

londonlivy

We ve got neocate too, don't use it much though because Ds is nt keen, I was going to stop breastfeeding after weaning and use neonate instead but I might reconsider if it causes constipation. I m sick to death of avoiding dairy though, must have been hard for you with an even more restrictive diet.

Turnwest that's awesome that you'll be going back to the doc to get mess. I bet you'll feel like your old self again I'm thinking of you every day, you're doing an amazing job raising two little ones and sorting yourself out too

Londonmrs I know how you feel re the loneliness - I feel like I've been through it twice, once in NZ and once in Dublin! I know it's scary but get to the children's centre as soon as you feel able. Baby massage is great, as are mum and baby movie sessions (for some reason the one I go to us very chatty). What about any MN Local meetups etc? I think they're very active in Cambridge. I'm so hoping DH gets to do some work trips to Cambridge this year, then I could come and visit you!

Took DS to the health clinic today. His hips are out of alignment (leg folds not lining up) need to see the doctor in April (ahhh waiting times in the Irish health system). After that might need his hips x-rayed. Worst case scenario he needs leg braces for a few months, but that's reasonably unlikely. Does anyone else have experience of this?

Was lovely to see the public health nurse though (Irish equiv of HV). She gave me a big hug and said "I'm so pleased you're feeling good. You look great. You were so hard on yourself for not being able to breastfeed, I was worried about you. But look - your son is doing so well, he's so happy and he loves you, you're a wonderful mother" made me cry!

I was firmly instructed to wean at 17 weeks though. Honestly the advice is all mixed up! Bf babies must wait till 6 months. But Ff babies from 17 weeks?! And do purees at first but should be mainly finger foods from 6 months (ie BLW). AND YOU MUST TEACH THEM TO USE A BEAKER ASAP, no bottles allowed after 1 year. And in what I can only assume is peculiarly Irish advice, do not give your baby tea Oooooookaaaayyyy then, navigate all of that as you see fit.....

Went in and visited work today, lovely to catch up with the crew, although DS very tired when we got home. So many broody women fussing all over him. I wondered what all the red marks on his face and head were, then I realised it was lipstick! They were all smooching him.

So looks like I'm mostly off work till October (statutory maternity pay runs out in April). Might do some work remotely from April in evenings and on weekends, my team thinks it's a good idea, just need to sort it out with the bosses. Part time from October looks like it is a goer (but won't know till a few months from now when our new grant is issued) - discovered that in the long term it was likely my role would be made part time anyway

Turnwest I mean to get meds!! Bloody ipad autocorrect...

zara that's interesting about weaning? What are you going to start with.

Ds (as you know) ff but assumed he'd wait till 5/6 months. Though I read the nz guidelines and he does all those things. In France they also recommend weaning at 17 weeks too. Though they don't use cereals first, they use fruit purée. What are you planning on doing?

Dh wants another baby quite quickly. I'm not sure I want another. I'm still healing from the birth of ds and just can't imagine having two to look after and going to baby groups with two!! Nor can I imagine being pregnant again. Which reminds me I need to see the gp about my lack of pelvic floor.

I know no one in the village I live I so really should go to local groups. This week I will try!!

just noticed worst pregnancy thing ever.

I have a tattoo on my arse which I accidentally got in Camden a few years ago. sounds tacky but I actually love it.

just noticed a dirty great stretch mark right under it. bollocks.

turnwest I am sorry that you are having a hard time and hope you get the support you need. It really does help to talk about it and you will find plenty of people on here who understand just how difficult it is, esp with two. You are being brave in seeking help, it can be difficult to make those first steps so well done.

oren tell your mum to look after DC for a couple of days - she should have plenty of energy if it isn't really that tiring. I'm bloody knackered and DS is a great sleeper, like squid said, there are lots of new skills to pick up and it is physically tiring too if you are old like me and used to being chained to a desk.

Whilst I would live to be able to take credit for DS sleeping 7-6, I agree that it mainly just depends on the child. And chances are if they are 'good' at one thing, they won't be with another eg eating.

I have found this week tough, hence no posting last few days. I think this is down to
a) none of the normal groups I take ds1 to operating due to half term
B) both ds's having snotty colds and being off form. First cold for ds2,trouble feeding and much ear piercing howling. At least not worried about his weight due to being such a big boy.
C) ds2 teething. We all feel his pain.
D) this weather. Does winter always last this long or is it just because I'm off work and around in the day, attempting to go out without freezing off body parts that I am noticing it?

Also, as the final part of my epic moan, I have really sore hands, which I suspect is from lifting the mighty DS2. Think zara mentioned his too, the bit between thumb and index finger is killing...

Grumpy October, going for now.

october for a moment then I thought you'd had your ds's ear pierced...

livvy I understand the feelings of guilt re constipation with DC on neonate. I felt v guilty when I stopped bf and DS got constipated. I have also had many a day of the howling and writhing and despite endless leg circling and massage you can't coax out a poo to relieve them. You just have to remember that you are doing the best for them and hopefully they will regulate as their system adjusts.

wooly if it did any good I might consider it...