April 2011 - nearly 2, it's still all about you <disclaimer, I might be having a bad day>

[UnderwaterBasketWeaving]

Thanks to Frak, thread title queen!

Hi everyone, I'm out of touch but have had a quick read through.

Finally braved the dentist today (seriously nervous patient) - to be told to try a new toothpaste. Not sure if that can cure my horrendous toothache but I have to give it a go for 2 days at least. Feels like wishful thinking....

Quick catch up on birthdays:

Gormers; DD1, Eva, 16/01 Already 2
JoEW; DS1, Conor, 22/02 Already 2
stuffedmk; DC2, Thomas, 23/03 Already 2
Poodle82; DC1, Joshua, 24/03 Already 2
LJB; DD2, Baby Girl, 26/03 Already 2
Aprilmeadow; DC4, Finn, 27/03 Already 2
Chillikat; Megan, 27/03 Already 2
Lowra; DC1, Amber, 27/03 Already 2
Petalouda; DC1, Felix, 28/03 Already 2
Meg89; DC2, Teddy, 29/03 Already 2
Alibabaandthe40nappies; DC2, Thomas, 28/03 Already 2
Ulysses; Anna, 30/03 Already 2
PussinJimmyChoos; DC2, Yaseen, 30/03 Already 2
Liv77; DC2, Phoebe, 31/03 Already 2

Thaney; DC1, Amelia, 05/04
Cyclebump; DS1, Henry, 05/04
NotAnotherNewNappy; DC2, Rosina, 06/04
BeetleBaby; DS1, Samuel, 07/04
rubybambini; DD1, Kitty, 08/04
Jaylar; DC2, Archer, 10/04
Kitstwins; DC3, 11/04
Sassy20; DD1, Lucy, 13/04
Daisy17; Seth, 13/04
JenAT; George David 16/04
Sats1977; DC1, Oliver, 20/04
Zafnoodles; DS1, Jacob, 18/04
lucieloo; DC1, George, 18/04
JKS; DC3, Mary, 20/04
Caramellokoalalover; DC2, Scarlett, 20/04
Frak; DC1, Marc, 21/04
AussieMum2Be; DD1, Dylan-Indianna 21/04
JollySergeantJackrum; DC1, Harris, 21/04
Chipsahoynicki; DC2, Isaac, 21/04
beckie90; DC2, Oliver Jack, 22/04
SaltedPretzels; DC3 Amelia, 23/04
MrsWajs; DC1, Robyn, 25/04
Natzer; April, 25/04
Tinwe; Hazel
Karoleann; DC3, Emily, 26/04
ecuse, DD1, Joanna, 27/04
ILikeToMoveItMoveIt; DC3, Ike, 28/04
LisMcA; DC1, Blair, 30/04
Architien; DC2 (DS1), Rose, 1/05
CountScoutula; DC1 Freda, 29/04
Trucha10; DC1 Evan, 10/05
Kittycatcat; DC1 Samuel, 11/05

• Starshaped

P has jumped on the projectile vomiting bus this morning

Associate fe breeze with vomit now! Yuk yuk yuk!

No vom here, only snot, but rivers of it! B is carrying on like a brave solider though!

Weather has turned here and it sunny, but still cold cold cold!

We are no further forward with MIL, but I'm not going to bring it on here anymore. You guys don't need my whinging.

JKS hope your tooth improves.

Gsy :(

Fizz - moan away, it sounds like an awful situation.

We're all ok here, it is really cold still though. DS1's Easter project was to go on a spring walk and spot what signs of spring we could see and write/draw them in his book. Answer - not very bloody many!

Hello,

Sorry the MIL situation hasn't improved, Fizz.

GSY, sorry you've got the Vom, hope it passes soon.

I'm tearing my hair out (nearly literally) with F's sleep. I need your help.

Firstly, I know I don't have to be this angry/frustrated by it. But I am, and I don't know why it gets to me. It winds me up so much, I end up dropping him back into bed more and more roughly and angrily, I'm a bit worried I'll hurt him or something.

Bedtime every night is at least a 2 hour affair. Now (a clue to the frustration) I NEED to work every night, even (especially) in the holidays. I feel guilty, too, that it's work I'm prioritising over him when I'm out at work all day too. But the workload is insane and I'm the main earner and technically the only one with a job at the moment.

So we do bath/shower, pjs on, brush teeth, stories and a cup of warm milk. And then the ridiculous behaviour begins. He recently discovered he can open the doors, so not only is he hopping out of bed, but he's coming out of his room (doors are shut because of the cat) and running around.

It's all a big game. He'll run right back to bed. He asks me to sit with him and rub his back, but this turns into him kicking me or climbing over me and generally being horrible. You know when teenagers start being silly and doing things that wind you up, and then go "but I was just laughing that's not against the rules". It's like that. And I know he's 2, and not even capable of winding me up on purpose. But that's what it feels like.

This goes on for at least 2 hours every night. So till around 9pm.

Oddly, it doesn't happen at nap time. Which we've cut shorter and moved earlier, and are now going to try to cut out all together.

All the AP stuff I see bangs on about the naughty child having an unmet need or us having unrealistic expectations. I don't know what the need is... Except the need to run around downstairs with the tantrums increasing in frequency until he drops.

So tonight I've stuck the travel cot in his room so he at least can't run around. I feel guilty, but am less angry about it. DH has retreated downstairs.

So, if you've read all that, thank you!
Any ideas of why this is happening? What can I do about it.

I've got exam papers to mark this holiday and am back to work on the 15th, whereupon I start doing examining in the evenings (as well as the usual). glutton for punishment

Wow, I feel better already.

UBW - is bedtime here so just a v.quick post. Is there a reason DH can't take over so you can work and remove that element of the stress?

Back later with ideas - having been where you are with both mine and come out the other side just about sane!!

He's got work to do too. More, in fact, as he's training to join the same circus profession!

He is one of the best though, we're about as equal as you can get.

Although he's not being particularly helpful right now.

We now have quiet, at least. I think we might put the sides back on his cot tomorrow, I don't think he can climb out yet.

We have sleep, a whole hour earlier than yesterday.

Defo sides back on to break the habit/remove the distraction, I think.

...marking time...

UBW, we're having a nightmare bedtime tonight too. Non-nap days mean easy bedtime but she had an hour and a half this afternoon and though I appreciated the time then she's howling now. Bars are still on the cot but she wants hugging to sleep, not stories, at the moment and I'm finding it more and more difficult to put her back in due to my expanding belly. For some reason only mummy hugs will do. Oh, we had a lovely routine just a few weeks ago. I wish it would come back.

In other news, 20 week scan today was fine. Correct limbs and organs in the right places and a good heartbeat. Due date still August.

Ok just checking

Definitely agree with sides back on. T is nowhere near ready for a bed, he would be in and out like a jack in the box.
With DS1 we waited until he would go to bed and go to sleep with no problems before we put him in a bed rather than a cot.

Both of ours have gone through phases of getting really upset and also naughty at bedtime. What has worked for us with them both is just sitting quietly in the room, not speaking. DH and I used to rotate nights, took about an hour initially and dropped quickly. They both still like us to be there when they drop off, but now it takes 5-10 minutes so it doesn't get in the way of evening at all.

Fingers crossed you get a good night!

X-posts - good news about the scan Green

Thanks folks.

20 weeks already firefly?! Glad all is well too!

We took the sides off at half term, and for most of the last 5 weeks he's been fine. I'd just sit on the end of his bed and rub his back for half an hour and he'd drift off.

The last week or so (maybe more, I can't remember) he's steadily got worse, culminating in realising he can open the door and get out a few days ago.

The nap change seemed to help initially, but I think he still needs a sleep in the day I do

Sides back on tomorrow then. Good job he's still got little legs!

Thank you all

Gosh, I've not been on for ages. Happy Easter to all and , and sympathy to all those who are ill, looking after poorly ones or coping with family strife!

20 weeks firefly - erh, wow! Is it just me, or is this pregnancy flying for you? Did you find out if you're brewing a mini firefly boy or girl, or are you having a surprise . Super news that everything went well with the scan either way

I've said it before and I'll say it again, but it is for exactly the reasons that UBW has mentioned that the sides are staying on our cot and DD is staying in her sleeping bag for the time being.

Bedtime has crept later here over the last few weeks (largely due to her begging for more and more stories) but she usually goes in the cot and chats to herself for a bit before going to sleep. We had terrible problems getting to this point and I'm too much of a wimp to do anything that might rock the status quo at the moment!

In other news, I'm getting more and more broody. I think it might be time to start thinking about number two. Eek! We're still in a two bedroom place and I had been putting it off until we're somewhere bigger but I'm increasingly coming round to thinking that there might never be a good time, so we should really just get on with it!

If he was good in the bed, he may well get back to that. So if you feel putting the sides back on is too backward a step, have you considered a gate on the door?
Just a pressure one so no holes.
Had that for DS1 (he moved into a bed early so the cot was free for DS2). Sometimes he would cry at the gate (he certainly buggered up the door handle opening & closing it loads...) and sometimes he would set up a camp on the floor by the gate and sleep there.
It kept him in there though and meant I knew he was safe.
I didn't leave him howling for hours or anything, just so you know! would go back and settle him etc.
when he was dropping his nap, that was the worst time.

tooth still bad.

We'll find out at the end what flavour mini firefly is :)
What wasn't great was the sonographer mistaking my lumpy scar for knicker elastic and trying to tuck the paper behind it [major ouch!]

Twentieth we got to this stage by deciding there might never be a 'right' time and just going for it. And I'm now worrying about the house chain getting longer and who knows when we might move, though we've asked the solicitor to kick some arse :)

Good plan, JKS, we've got another gate in the garage, so maybe we'll try that tomorrow before the major engineering of putting the sides back on!

Ouch, firefly! Hope she was better with sonography than anatomy!

OK, I'm confused who is on the baby bus. Firefly, yup! I'm not going to mention other names here, but twentieth, I thought you were.

How many on the bus? 4?

No, I'm not on it at the moment - I'm still finishing up a pack of pills so there's no chance of any immediate announcements.

I am thinking about it a lot if that counts! Watch this space...

UBW hope bedtime improves very soon.

We wed to take the sides off soon as he has to sleep in a bed in Spain.

i had a run in with mil yest. Well more of a run out!

I pointed out Alex had SAMs socks on. She said did it matter. I said yes as Sam won't have spares. She said he had loads. As I was saying only cos I packed 4 outfits forgetting it was a short week she said that's enough kittycat and walked off to her room. I put Alex in the car (Sam already in) slammed all doors, sped off after saying ;ffs) which I think only fil heard. I just left fil standing there. I pulled up til I'd calmed down. Thing is she asked me to make food but cos I was only doing bananas for desserts took it upon herself to buy hipp jars which I haven't given Alex (desserts) without asking. I have to be careful cos of his reflux. He can't have yoghurts. She's made and blended chicken soup when he hasn't had meat yet. Yest fil put Alex's sweat button up top on Sam and didn't notice til it was on and done up. Too many things too soon. I should be able to say shouldn't I? But I can't cos its mil! Top it off Alex was sick with his bottle.
Dh says Alex has a cold and that makes him sick. He doesn't want to call incase she says she only gave him my food. I get what he means. He can't understand why she stropped. I said sounds more to it. There was from my point of view. I said if I can't talk to her about socks without her losing it how can I talk to her about anything. I can't because she isn't approachable, he agrees. I said its not right that I can't talk to her or that she makes decisions. I said we should lead and she should follow not the other way round. He knows all that and agrees but also knows what she's like! I explained how hard it is when its family. It would be easier if paid childcare. He knows she will just say I'm rude, again I know this. Whereas I think she's out of order. She should be pussy footing around me not the other way round.
I'd already decided the boys were going dressed next week. We were sending Sam dressed in the end because she'd put him in socks and sandals, vests and shorts instead of t shirt and shorts. Argh. He said he will speak to them before Sunday and play it down because its over socks. I did say maybe we do need to talk to her. Explain why it happened, that she isn't approachable. Doubt he will tho.

Greenfirefly excellent re scan except scar bit. Ouch.

Fizz how's things?

Oh kitty, that is so hard. I thought my mum might be like that when she has B to stay, but she has really surprised me. She called and asked if he could have some rice pudding and then later for some chocolate buttons from an Easter egg! The only thing I've had to hammer home is salt. My dad is a salt fiend, so much so I can barely eat his cooking now. I believe her when she says she puts no salt in his food. My dad thinks I'm ridiculous, but at least she understands.

Can you sit down, explain about As reflux and what the effects of giving him the wrong thing could be? Be calm, print out stuff so she can see for her self, explain it isn't a criticism, its a really tricky thing to manage and you would prefer that anything new A has is done by you so you can monitor the reaction.

The socks might be a red herring here. I can see how annoying it is, but it does no harm really does it. You just feel like you have no control ove the situation. I get that. It's so hard leaving them. But I would pick you battles. Mil will hear you going on about socks and won't see the harm. But the reflux thing can do harm. That's what you need to talk to her about.

How are you feeling in yourself? Going back to work was my trigger if you remember. When I realised how out of sorts I actually was. I overreacted to small things. I'm not saying you are overreacting here, but maybe something to think about. I can't remember if you saw your GP before. Just remember there are people out there who can help you. Least of all us here. :)

((((Hugs))))

20 weeks already firefly how did that happen?!

I certainly will watch this space 20th ds3 was conceived because we couldn't come up with any more reasons not to. We swayed this way and that, and then just thought 'sod it', let's just go for it!

Tough situation kitty, your IL's are probably finding it a real adjustment too. It's tricky in situations like this when family are involved.

Please feel free to talk about your MIL here fizz, it sounds like quite a complex situation - especially with your sil's involvement.

Ds2 was sick in his bed during the night. He managed to contain it to just his sheet - hurrah. Dh done the bed changing while M had a cuddle in bed with me. However I came downstairs to a pile of sheets with dried sick on. Why oh why did he not get rid of the debris and put them straight into the machine last night?!

Men, iLike, just men! Probably the exact same reason dh tried wafting his hand under the smoke alarm when it went off last night when I was cooking tea! He would have been better farting at it!! I flung a tea towel at him but forgot it had fallen in the sink. Wet slap in the chops with a tea towel did not go down well! B thought it was hilarious!

She knows fizz. It old her yoghurts make him sick so he can't have them. I didn't know she would go and buy other stuff without asking. She buys all the food, formula and nappies which makes it even harder. She had asked me to make Alex's food until he was on what everyone else ears. She then pulled a face when dh gave her three weeks worth and told me she had blended chicken soup. Again she shouldn't have. The only times we have fallen out its because I've talked back or given my opinion. Even dh agrees she's unapproachable. They are often scared to tell her stuff cos of her reaction. I think I would have let the socks go if I wasn't would up about everything else.
With regards to me I feel ok. Work has new a breeze. Sure the novelty will wear off.
Wish I could look after the boys myself.

Wet slap with tea towel made me laugh

Can you put the shiters up her then and say you are looking at nursery for the boys? She might tow he party line if sh thinks she might lose them.

Is fil more approachable?

Fil won't get involved. He always stays neutral.

She knows we can't afford it.