November 2012 - Vent, chat or brag

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1668060-November-2012-Dont-forget-the-tummy-time

Stats list: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1485512-November-2012-Stats-List

Yes, horses definitely take over your life! Might be a while before I can get back into that, but I will one day. And hopefully the DDs will too.

Newsflash. N has been asleep in her pram for over two hours. I don't know what to do with myself*

*this is a lie. I know exactly what to do with myself. I have had a nap, drunk some coffee, browsed on here, and now I'm contemplating changing the beds.

Ey up.

No hobbies here - cheaper! Seriously, I have been into running but DH and I are more sitting around drinking wine and setting the world to rights kind of people. I love reading - wondering when I will ever read again mind you. We did have an allotment which was a brilliant thing to do for a wee while. It took untold hours of commitment - much of it thankless - and huge amounts of cash. Theoretically it doesn't need to cost lots but it just always seemed to be costing money. Glass for the greenhouse, paving slabs and so on. I think once the initial investment is made it will tail off but we never got it to that stage. The weather was so awful during growing season for the last 3 years or so that we grew categorically nothing. Awful to see plants rotting in te ground for lack of sun and too much rain. More experienced allotment keepers could beat it but you had to be there like a full time job to make it work.

Baby sensory was pretty good. P not keen on lying flat for too long though - might need to take a cushion to prop her on. It was lovely seeing her lying next to a wee boy a week younger than her and see them check each other out. I actually think she preferred being stroked and licked by toddlers but I preferred today.

I think we might need to up her dosage of infant gaviscon as she is really sicky at the moment. I really don't want to have to as the issues with constipation will only get worse with it. I might give it another week and see if the growth spurt being over eases it at all. For the most part it doesn't bother her apart from the odd sicky acid burp. I don't really mind reaking of puke. That's a real icky side to reflux is the normal possetting and sicky dribbles smell awful. Like proper grown up sick. Hurl. I am currently sporting puke on both shoulders like a pair of grim shoulder pads.

I am so sorry people are having such a miserable time with their OH. I don't get it at all. I would like to take this opportunity to say that DH is pretty awesome. He cooks every single meal as well as ensuring there is soup or something in the fridge for me at lunch. He always launches into nappy changing and I would have to fight him off for the chance to be e one to wake her up in the morning.

He is, however, anxious not to interfere as he sees it. I get this - I do work to a schedule and have routine. I pretty much hold this routine on my head and learn daily new things about P. this means that he can be a bit hesitant to do things like feed her or put her to sleep without checking with me first. This was annoying me but it is completely of my making. I am a control freak and I have ways I like things done. I can't blame him for worrying that something he does might be 'wrong'.

Horsey - no, they didn't dribble with the size 2 teats but were falling asleep because feeds were taking so long. DT1 is fine with size 3 but DT2 dribbles but mainly because she is a greedy little thing

Yeah he's started falling asleep. I think he's maybe just s dribbly baby?! Will see....

Where do you go after size 3 teats though? P uses size 2s which we went to at 6 weeks when she had infant gaviscon in her feeds. I had wondered if she could do with going up - it was something I had considered when she started dropping amounts per feed.

I love hearing about your poonami stories. bry and YW your ones today made me lol. My favourite one though is MM legs of sleepsuit filled. Brilliant mental image. I wouldn't mind a poonami actually. Sometimes it feels like p might never do a spontaneous poo. She does one slightly dry and rather dark green poo every day. Usually with me holding her legs at the time. It does mean, however, that I never think about poo happening at in opportune moments or having to take a change of clothes. Silver linings

I have soo many hobbies ... it was one of the jokes my husband made in his wedding speech.
Hospital Radio (hope to do first return show next week)
Gardening - which I'm a little obsessed by.
Fishkeeping
calligraphy
birdwatching
I like to cook walk and read - liked.
there are many others and some I would love to try - dolls houses etc. hoping to get DD excited in some of them looking fwd to weather changing and getting out...must admit last 5 summers been an horrendous for growing anything.
just come back from visit to art cafe I discovered less than 10mins away not been there before...was literally like heaven. dd only started grumbling when we left ...lots of arty things to look at helped.

I had hobbies, now I have DCs and MN!

So talk me into buying a star wrap please. I was on the purchase page then thought, No it's £26.50, I'll just keep using a coat/snowsuit.

Definitely going to get the bumbo tonight, J keeps trying to sit upright, he doesn't like reclining. I have to make sure to keep some of his baby fund back for a stroller though. I have £180 left plus a US $100 cheque to pay in. Thank god for hand-me-downs, hopefully this DS3 won't cost much in clothes.

I think my major hobby is list making and de-cluttering.

Other than that - reading for me. And writing letters - its old fashioned but I write a lot of letters. Some of my correspondents also write a lot. Some only write to me - mainly because they respond to mine. Some don't write back. This is fine. It's probably quite self indulgent stuff, mainly chit chat about my life. Started when I went to uni - parents and grandparents wrote because they thought it was nice for me to receive stuff in the post. It was, and still is. I have a friend in the forces so always write a lot when she is posted overseas. And other people just as and when I'm thinking of them - some people call or text, but I tend to send a card or letter.

I'm also a preserver of nostalgic stuff, which is completely at odds with the de-cluttering side of me, but once something has made the transfer to box of precious memories, it's safe from the ruthless decluttering.

I am fairly crafty, especially with fabric. I have been pondering starting my own label of bespoke keepsakes made out of baby clothes that people just cannot bear to get rid of, but do not want them just festering in the loft.

Having read the full Universal Credit document, I will be better off working part time and paying less childcare, at least until they are all in full time education, which in Scotland is 5. This is what I want to do so I am really pleased. Now I need to convince DH. Perhaps I could give him a list of options 1. He is a SAHD, 2. He leaves me and I claim as a single parent or 3. He finishes his PHD and gets a well paying job. I think he will at least agree to read the document.

Oh VQ, I bet I'd be the first to commission something!

J had a fever earlier. It went within an hour of brufen. He had that at 9 and he has been fine temp wise all day. He is feeding well despite the mucus. Saline drops rock. I think they are actually better than the spray once you get used to them. Baby will cry, you just have to do it. It is much kinder in the long run. I wish he would get better. I hate seeing my baby ill.

madame I thought that as I read your post

VQ that sounds fab I was going to make a cover for dd record book with some of her baby grows that are too scruffy to keep for potential dd 2.

I love letter writing too.

In fact writing in general. Nothing crafty. Love cooking but not baking, other than pies. Reading. My dog.

Used to run, play squash, dive and ride. One day....

That's a lovely idea VQ, I'm sure you would get a lot of commissions from this group which would give you a portfolio to expand. I have a few things all three of my DSs have worn that I will miss once J grows out of them.

seeing as though I barely have time to wipe my arse properly, it may be a while (I always find time to wash my hands properly, in case you were worried)

I unsubscribed from flylady too. I did the digest one but but when they changed the format I got rid. The idea is good but whichever poster says to too schmaltzy (sorry on phone and can't remember who) I agree. Kept getting annoyed at her telling me to get dressed to my shoes. I bloody get dressed every day and don't want to wear my shoes round the house so bugger off! I do however shine my sink (blush).

I am a golf widow. Used to be a rugby widow when DD1 was born but he knackered his shoulder and took up golf. Golf takes a hell of a lot longer than rugby and rugby was much more social as I could take DD up the club. Still there are benefits to him playing golf, he would never have gone on holiday abroad with the DC's if it wasn't for the fact he could play a few rounds of golf and I've had a few decent spa trips out of it. I have a friend whose DH plays cricket, that is worse.

Argh just posting quickly before DS wakes up, he's been asleep on me for half an hour but the moses basket transfer has not gone well ... erm, erm, sorry to hear about poonamis but much, much sorrier to hear about crap blokes. A big hug for you Chunky. Just to say that my DH is starting an experiment with compressed hours at work to take Mondays off and it makes SUCH a difference to my mental state (and to the state of the house, the children, etc). We've been doing it for three weeks now. I really hope it ends up being a long-term thing. Hopefully it will just take the edge off your situation.

Erm, and I'm up for the haggis meet, I know Craigies and would be happy to go there but anywhere's good, I have a car. I probably would have to bring along a toddler though so might not be able to stay as long as I might otherwise!

Erm, erm (he's snuffling and yelping, you know the thing, all very distracting, crying will break out any sec) just wanted to say I know I don't post much but I read everything and I luffs you all for the information, interest and laughs I get.

Fatima I've been meaning to ask, what's a 'Grade 2' pelvic floor? Don't answer if you don't feel like it!! I too am dismayed at bucket fanjo, I think I have some sort of minor prolapse going on too and there's still a sore spot from the episiotomy that's not healed after two months. It's getting smaller and smaller and I'm sure will disappear eventually but heck, I'm still nowhere near DTD ... was hoping for some action for Valentines but even that looks doubtful ...

Just for those with broken nights still, I'm definitely in your camp with (on average) wakings at 12.45, a 3.30 and a 5. This is after a 10.30 bedtime. He then really wants to be up from 6.30. So we're not doing great but I'm hoping there will be a breakthrough soon. He does nap in the day though so I'm thankful for that.

Argh there he goes! Thanking you for your attention! As you were!

Thanks Georgee. DH used to do this for childcare reasons, but since I've been off, he's gone back to 5 days.

Tbh I think there's more going on with DH than just a hobby; some things he's said to my DM makes me think things have got on top of him lately.

DH & I used to play squash, hockey & I'd go to the gym, he'd play badminton. I also read avidly and we used to do more walking, cycling & camping. Strangely enough, I do none of these bar reading now unless you count walking with a buggy and barely that, yet I am not harping on about that. I just don't think I'll win this one!!

VQ that sounds like a lovely idea - the keep sakes. I would def want my DC's first babygros made into something lovely.

stunt I can't decide whether to get the star wrap either. DS is growing out of his 0-3 pram suit and has a cosy toes in the tandem, but I have 2 Morrck wraps for the car seat, so it would be a bit gratuitous.

I would put him in DD's snow suit even though its pink but that's 6-12mths & although he's twice the size of her at this age, he's not that big!!

Oh and I unsubscribed from Flylady too. Like some ideas (15 mins, hot spot concept, having morning routines & I've always laid my clothes out night before) but it was too much schmaltz!!

Chunky I'm sorry he's being such a grade A twat. :( I don't know what to say. I hope he comes to his stupid senses though. You don't know what you have got until it is gone - never a truer word spoken. He will be the loser in this, when his kids and his wife have no time for him any more after years of neglect for a bloody hobby!

It was only this afternoon as I sat, once again in a changing room in my soaking wet costume, feeding a soaking wet baby on a hard bench and cried as I stood in agony that I should man (HA!) up and just enjoy it for what it is. They are little for such a short time, and I am damn well going to enjoy it all. Even the shit bits. This is what some people DH's fail to realise. Before you know it, they are gone in to the big wide world. Have you tried it from the angle that your children are missing out by not having their dad there?

Am grateful - no hobbies here. Either of us. DP likes his xbox/games, but at least he is here for me to yell at to get off.

Madam Your post made me chortle quietly to myself. I always worry that if I ventured on to relationships I'd be demonised for being an emotional/financial/whatever abuser, I have to strop to get my own way, sulk like a bitch and I am ALWAYS right. Oh and I control all the money (doesn't one person in most relationships?!). DP reads the relationships threads and he pisses himself laughing at so many of the responses... talk about OTT! We all have our negative sides.

Had a successful day all round here. Managed school runs x2 and swimming, and we were on time for everything! Woohoo! And I managed to wash and blow dry my hair for the first time alone with Oscar. Hooray! He grizzled as I was blow drying, but I gave him a muslin cloth over his face and he rubbed it on him til he fell asleep! Excellent!

Came home at 4pm, and DP had blitzed all the housework. And he even did my job - which is to put washing away. I never let anyone else do it because they fuck it up. Well there was a huuuuuuuuuuuge mound building up, and I said I was going to put it away this evening. So am pleased to come home and not have that to do! Will ignore the fact I found my knickers in my sock drawer!.

He even lit my yankee candle. No that is not a euphemism VQ!!

And he is making a soup for our tea.

I am still looking for the evidence for what he has done wrong.

Seriously - Chunky since our big blow up 4 weeks ago, we have both compromised more, and DP is far better, both as a father, and partner now (it's okay, he's banned from reading on here anymore!). I really hope your DH can do what he needs to to make things work. Mine has discovered initiative. Hope he doesn't discover initiative regression....!

Thanks for the thoughts over the car - think we will go for it. Well, DP made his mind up instantly, so it doesn't matter what I think, so it seems!

Got a couple of size 3 teats. If he is still like this after the weekend, i'll try the next size up. He can be sicky with the size 2, so am reluctant to put him up if I don't need to. Am convinced this is growth spurt territory, so will give it some time! Does it last a few days, or more like a week? This is day 3 I think.

I wish I had you ladies first time around!

Flylady goes into my spam folder...makes me feel popular momentarily when I see I have 15 a billion new messages .

We have no hobbies, but I do miss being able to get dressed up and go for drinks with friends. There's no way I could leave LO at the moment for a whole evening though, dh would have a meltdown.

Just managed to have a proper childish falling out with him over childcare arrangements once I'm back at work. I thought that if we each took one day of leave per fortnight, and his mum had LO on a Friday morning when he works a half day, we would save a fortune in CM/nursery fees. He basically doesn't want to, as he wants to save his leave to have random whole weeks off, which he'd be on his own for and doing nothing but making the house a mess. Cue my childish response which I won't post here, just, it was childish. I feel all sulky and tired and grumpy tonight . Obvously not a patch on some peoples problems but needed a self indulgent rant.

And detective I'm with you on that emotional abuse thingy. Have read a couple of threads on the relationship boards, and made me panic that me/dh/both of us were emotional abusers. Then I realised that actually we're both tired and therefore childish. Big difference!

We had a childish shouty argument today, that I am still sulking about . Basically I resent the fact I am not in control of our finances any more (as he worked offshore or seasonally I always managed money, bills, etc) and he resents - although he won't admit to it but it'a damn obvious - the fact I am unable to contribute anything just now. It all boils down to the fact he hates his current job and we don't have mine fo fall back on just now so he's it. I am glad he is out on the water tonight, I'm still peeved at his inability to just get on with it. Or budget properly.