November 2012 - the best post-natal quiche on MN

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1655656-November-2012-sleeping-through-yet

The answer to the sleeping though question was a chorus of "no"s but there were a few resounding yesses and a lot more keeping quiet because the rest of us would be well jel.

Btw 12 week growth spurt here. I think it's worse than the 6 week one!!

horssy what you have said resonates with me. I hated maternity leave with DD. Loved her, happy to take care of her, but missed my professional life, colleagues, etc so much. Went back at 6 months, much, much happier. Feels like a taboo - that I should want to stay at home with my baby, but I didnt. People felt sorry for me going back FT after 6m, but I was thrilled. I didnt have pnd, but being at home isnt for everyone, and that is ok.

This time, I am enjoying it for what it is, and it is much better. I go back at the start of May. I'll be pleased to be back, but glad I spent time with DS at home too. My mantra is now "enjoy each stage for what it is", and this helps.

Horsey, I have often wondered why the nhs don't let women pop the baby in a sling and crack on. The patients would love it. The baby would get one hell of an immune system. But they say no.

It definitely doesn't help being stuck indoors.

I tried desparately hard to talk non-baby to someone at boob group but she was having none of it, and kept talking to me in a baby voice

I love LO and love being a mum, but I'm not one if those mums...

I know what you are saying madame and thank you your post made me cry in a good way x

Thank you all for your advice and support.

horsey make an appointment to speak to someone about PND. You are a very intelligent woman and your post clearly states you are worried about it. Best get it checked out. I too was keen to go back to work with both my girls, but the thought of going back fills me with fear now. I know I am not in the right place mentally to even think about my options. I know being a SAHM is not for me, but full time would kill me

12 week growth spurt? Well that wouldn't be helping either now would it. Duh! Also he had his jags last week so this could be compounding the problem.

I am trying to enjoy each stage knowing I will never have to do it again!

I think I feel housebound. I feel mean dragging him out in this weather for long periods of time. Going to see how this week goes. I'll be ok! I know I'll have support whatever I chose to do!!

Vq - yes he's very unsettled, eating loads!! Waking in the night etc. Possibly also compounding my problem!! He's so clingy it's unreal!! I'm in pain can't ride etc. So I'm just generally pissed off!!

I'm enjoying each stage!! He's changing so much it's amazing!!

I was missing work when on the island - I think just really for the adult company and having money to fritter away on whatever I wanted but now I'm in Five and seeing my sister and other Mums daily I'm not. I'd love more cash though : fingers crossed I find out about my MA soon!

Horsey it might be that you're feeling a bit isolated with the weather? Also I do think that because we're post partum we are inclined to attribute every blue day to PND when sometimes its just one of the ups and downs of normal life?

As VQ says go to your doc if you're worried but missing work isn't a crime - you do sound to have a v rewarding job and lots of mummies work.

I went back full time when DD1 was 9 months, fell pregnant within a month and was signed off with backache 6 months in! I didn't mind working full time but don't think I could do it with two. That, plus the fact that childcare for two will eat up all my salary means I am not sure I will be able to afford to go back in August, when I am due. I certainly don't want to go back full time, but I don't really want ot to work either, so I am looking into work from home options. Things I could do in the evenings and on the weekends and during nap times.

Horsey if you are worried about PND it might be worth getting yourself checked out. I's Monday, you're due a trip to the Dr aren't you? Seriously, if you are going down that route the sooner it is picked up on the better.

Right, I made a decision this weekend. We don't have baby groups over here, or even much baby activity, so I have decided to start going to church. My husband is a believer, though I am a lapsed Catholic and don't believe in much. DH does want the children to be baptised though, and we do need to be churchgoers for that. I don't know. I always feel a bit hpocritical in chutch, and I certainly don't want to force the cildren down that route as I was, but... We really don't know many people round here... I think I will try it once and see.

The other advantage is it would get us up and doing on Sundays, which have turned into PJ days in our house, and as spring is on its way we need to get into the habit of making the most of the weekends.

Winter doesn't normally get me down - it's my favourite season - but I have had enough of this one. And just as the children got better from their illnesses it has finally turned into proper winter, and we can't risk driving too far away.

Talking of which it took me 20 minutes to de-ice my car this morning. I ended up using oven mitts and water. There was an inch of snow and about a cm thick layer of ice underneath that. I worked up quite a sweat doing it, which shows how unfit I am, but also means I can count it as my exercise for the week day.

Cross post - feeling housebound won't be helping you. This weather is shite.

Erm, is there a new thread yet? We seem to have filled this one up very quickly :)

Not a bad night here for us, we seem to be in a pattern of starting bedtime and bath at 9ish then lo is asleep by 10:30 and then up at 4:10 and then up again atb7:30 to start the day

chunky you are right, monitor and pump would be used again for other DCs if we're lucky to have more, just need to talk DH round

glenda sorry your having a rotten time with daytime sleeps my DD catnaps for about 20min 2-3 times a dy if I'm lucky then we have a mix between she's happy to be n her mat or wants to be held. Tonight when she's upset, give her to your DH then say you need the loo and stay upstairs for abit instead of him . We have a swinging chair in our front room but I spend a lot of time in kitchen/dining room and DD doesn't like me to be out of yesterday o I brought a vibrating bouncy chair for the kitchen and its helped a lot, not always but worth it's money

VQ only you know what's right for you, if you think your getting better quality sleep then I would preserve with his cot, I hope things improve for you soon

horsey being housebound does effect your mood, were on day 5 of being stuck in and yesterday even though it was snowing quite heavy I had to get out so I wrapped DD up and went for a walk with my mum and it made me feel a lot better to be out for a short period of time, if we keep Los warm they'll be fine. I would go and speak to someone if your worried about PND, it won't do no harm to talk to someone and might reassure you

I do miss my work but I'm not going back, going to be a SAHM for a few years, then finish my last 2 exams to qualify but I'm lucky that I want to be a SAHM and we can afford for me to do that

I HATE this snow now, I normally love it but I want my car back and to drive!!

NEW THREAD ALERT

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1664696-November-2012-By-eck-we-can-talk

Your wish is my command PR!

It didn't get above freezing yesterday but I'd been looking forward to going out all week, so put little pig in a pramsuit with loads of layers underneath and we went for a lovely walk and a hot chocolate. It made me feel so much better - and she was toasty unlike me

To say, we go out three times a day!! Twice to the horses, once with the dogs. Just usually I mess around at the stables but haven't the last week. I did today though. The horse is bloody mad!!

The problem with snow is you suddenly see loads of dogs out. So alone I can have problems. It's ok as I know all the dogs usually but the ones which don't usually come out I worry about. ESP as little curly is dodgy with recall at the best of times!!

Right dog walk, food shop. Horses. Soup making!!

I'm reading an amazing book called 'What mothers do' by Naomi Stadlen. I heartily recommend it to anyone feeling down / frustrated / bored by the sofa based realities of mothering a wee one. It's a wonderfully uplifting reminder of how important the SAHM role is. Get it on your tablet and stick the kettle on - its going to keep me busy until I pop out to M&S for tasty fodder ok not quite the Witchery

Thanks for the link Pass I'll have a look at that site. Blonder I suppose you have to look at the seller's feedback and decide whether it's worth the risk. FWIW I have had a Nintendo DS and a Sky+ box repaired by eBay sellers and been very happy with the results.

For a passport Candy you can fill in the form online and they post it out to you. The photos are tricky because only the baby can be in it so I had to hold J in such a way that my arm wasn't showing so go to a photo place rather than using a photo booth. Then you need someone who has known you for two years and has a passport themselves to verify the child's identity and they need to be a teacher, minister, solicitor or similar, and can't be related to you.

You're in a difficult situation now VQ but can you just wait it out? I find James is feeding every 1-2 hours with a 3-hour stretch sometimes during the day but I'm working on the assumption that things will start to improve in a few weeks as he gets older. If you decide to keep using the cot then it will be harder in the short term but as you persevere he will get used to it and sleep there. I suppose you have to weigh up whether you would be better off with a short-term benefit of co-sleeping or the long-term benefit of him sleeping in the cot but having to take the pain now of settling him. There isn't a right answer, it's what's best for you to be able to cope. If the cot isn't working out right now, why not wait a couple of weeks until he's over the jabs and growth spurt and try again? There has been some good advice on this thread on how to stretch out the gaps between feeds, e.g. putting the dummy in at the first sound, waking baby up mid-feed to ensure he gets a full feed before he falls asleep, distracting him to make him wait a few minutes before the next feed, using the EASY routine. Would any of these help you.

The very least we can offer is a bit of virtual hand-holding, lots of sympathy and some solidarity VQ as well as wholehearted support for whichever approach you decide to take.

Ive missed a whole thread lol!

All good here, dd is a dream, feeds well, sleeps very well, smiling, gurgling, cooing etc.

Ds on the other hand is a pain in the bum, does not sleep well and is bored of being snowed in.

Hope everyone is well!

p.s ive just found a load of messages in my 'other' folder on fb from a few of you asking to be added to the fb group. I apologise for not getting back to you, I hope you all managed to find the group. Let me know if you still need to be added.

Thanks stunt

Yellow what a coincidence I have literally just finished reading the free extract of that on my kindle and put it on my wish list (I'm not buuying books until I've read what I've already got)

VQ can't advise on the feeding, but would persevere with the cot if you can stand it.

I love you guys

Charging my kindle so I can down load that book. It's been in my draw since I had LO.

Feeling absolutely shit today. Lack of sleep. SHIT useless H who is just being a dick. Being stuck in doors.
Everything sucks.

Weirdly I just ordered that book! Was recommended by my post Natal course. Also bought bottled up on the lovely horseys recommendation which is really good.

VQ hang in there. Big hugs.

Candy pop just done LOpassport hardest bit is photos. His are hilarious!

No more voms today so far, guess it probably just is the mucous, poor LO's - it must be horrible for them being all bunged up and not being able to blow their noses!

VQ I'd persevere with the cot if you can, now you've made the move. Hope you get some more sleep very soon

Being stuck in the house really does have a rotten impact.

I have found the work chat really interesting. horsey just over a week ago of someone had said I could go back to work there and then I would have gone like a shot. P was massively out of sorts and rarely stopped grizzling and I was feeling incredibly isolated and lonely. The last week has been very, very much better. However, I still do miss my work every single day. However, if you still feel like this in a few days please speak to a Doctor. I think YW is right in that we can jump quite quickly to PND. I had the same thought last week. You do know yourself best though.

I love my job and consider it part of my identity. Being a mum is now that too but it hasn't squeezed work out. When I was pregnant people at work started telling me that I wouldn't be caring about work anymore. It annoyed me then and it still annoys me. Talking about work gives me a real buzz - why would I stop caring?

I plan to go back in August after the summer holidays.

VQ I have been mulling over your dilemma today. I wonder if you could set a limit of the next two nights? If you can't see any improvement then go back to co-sleeping for another week before trying again. That way if he just isn't ready this week you are not pushing the issue.

Huzzah, I have caught up with this hurtling thread enough to post (images of running after a speeding car/train and trying to leap on ...)! I read everything, I just only rarely (once a thread on average) get to the end in time to add anything!

Sorry to hear about your troubles garden - you really are amazing. Do remember that. Sorry to all those others with partners that are shirking/not understanding.

Sorry to all those others having sleeping issues, whether at night or for naps. James naps fine during the day but has been a monkey at nights. The other night he was up every 1.5 hours for a feed, last night every 1.5-2 hours. Not sure what I can do at night to lengthen this (really I'm only good for dragging him into bed, feeding him half asleep then putting him back, he usually settles fine then). Will see if I can try a bit harder to wake him up enough to get more down him (as just jabbing him in the chops with a nipple doesn't seem to work). Can completely understand your dilemma VQ - J is now in bedside cot but if he didn't settle he would definitely be back in with me. In fact he usually is from about 5am (when his cough/mucus build up wakes him).

Interesting work discussion. I miss the freedom and buzz that work provides. The other night I went to a meeting in fact - I wasn't supposed to as am officially on mat leave but I just wanted to find out what was going on! It's a project that's NCT-related so just about the only work meeting you could breastfeed at. I did become acutely aware that I had breastfeeding counsellors all around me though and wonder if I was doing it right! Bit of performance anxiety!

YW welcome to the mainland! I read 'What Mothers Do' first time around and really liked it. Hope your DH had fun out in Edinburgh. We have a voucher for the Witchery. Lord knows when I'll be able to use it. I suspect breastfeeding wouldn't be welcomed in quite the same way there (although of course it's illegal in Scotland to actually prevent it which I always think is pretty cool!). I should express. I just cannot be faffed with the sterilising/bottles/storage at the moment - I will try and steel myself to sort this out. It would be nice to have an evening out at some point ...

Right all, see you on the next thread (hope to post before the 900s on that one!). x

wooo-haaaaa! Just done a calculation which suggests I have finally finished paying off my student loan! I will be better off by £150 ish pcm. . Mentally spending all my new found money, but the reality is that this will be just in time to make a small dent in the new nursery bill. Still, a small step forward we'll still run out of money a week before payday though, we're fucking useless.

Feeling a bit better this afternoon. DS slept in his cot for 30 mins at lunch time, and 1 hour this afternoon. He looked sleepy, I whipped him into the cot, he effed and blinded for a few minutes, then settled himself. I will try this tonight. I will not try to put him down asleep. He will never learn to self settle if he is not give the chance.

pass glad this week has been better for you.

georgee are you up for a Scottish meet?