November 2012 - the best post-natal quiche on MN

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1655656-November-2012-sleeping-through-yet

The answer to the sleeping though question was a chorus of "no"s but there were a few resounding yesses and a lot more keeping quiet because the rest of us would be well jel.

That's not nice PR

TMI-type question.

Anyone (possibly particularly breastfeeding Mums) suddenly started getting mad discharge? Its clear & runny, so not thrush or anything, but I woke up this morning convinced I'd got AF. I've since soaked through another pair of pants!!! I wondered if the longer sleeps might be kicking my cycle into gear? I stopped bleeding about 5wks ago. He's still ebf with the occassional use of a dummy, but he hasn't really taken to it, although I know that can affect your cycle for some reason. I'm a bit

chunky you are right. It is a tricky balance, and I know it was the right thing at the time, but now I feel it is time to move on. He only snacks when he wakes, and when he has finished he turns his head away from me and goes to sleep, so I think he will do fine.

I only change his bum if it is bothering him.

You have my sympathies tits perhaps the time for you to play hard -ball has come too.

pass DS still flails at 12 weeks, but he has been in a gro bag since he was a week old.

DH has been a gem. Took the girls to the shop in the snow and bought breakfast. I had a cooked breakfast in bed, complete with black pudding and fruit pudding. Nom Nom.

GT what nappies are available in India? I understand taking formula, but I would see what is available locally for bum covering.

pr too. How rood.

I got that right before my periods came back at 8 weeks Chunky. Every bloomin' time I get them back right away even though I'm feeding J ten times a day. Sucks!

PR :( Did he just ask randomly or has he seen you before when pregnant and just assumed you still were if you didn't have a baby with you?

tits sleep deprivation is evil. Have you tried a dummy? N isn't interested in one, but with DD1 it saved my sanity.

chunky could be your cycle starting up again? I had something similar when I stopped feeding DD1 - and got my period back 2 weeks later, so I assume it was caused by ov'ing? Never had it that bad before or since.

I want to sleep!
Although did read a good thread about domestic goddess cheats.

VQ a cousin went last year for 3 months so had to buy nappies local. Told me they r crap. Lol. Leaked alot. She advices me to take from here.

However like suggestion of taking nappies means lots of empty space on way bk for gifts for myself

Hoping LO has a nap now. Really have alot of chores to do. Will be following this routine.

[http://organizingmadefun.blogspot.co.uk/2010/11/15-minutes-of-cleaning-how-to-have-fake.html?m=1]

I read GF. Do bits I want. I can't get myself up at 7. But it's good for tips tho.

Gt, i use prefolds at night and get 8-9 hours from one. 18 each of prefolds, bamboo boosters, fleece liners and pul wraps plus a pack of 3 nippas would take up a lot less space and extra expensive luggage allowance than AIOs or disposables. You'd be washing every 2-3 days with that using a tbsp of powder so could take nice ecover or something with you :)

I have to say the whole reusable nappy thing sounds terribly confusing.

I like GF for a vague idea of what happens next, but is too prescriptive to follow to the letter. The DC fit into my life, and follow a timetable that suits me, not the other way around. although when I was trying to get pfb DD into a routine I wasn't quite so chilled about the timetable.

Sophia me too!! I've been tempted, even emailing the nappy lady & getting recommendations. But DH is dead set against it & although I would like to be more environmentally friendly, I haven't got the energy to persuade him.

stunt & kirrin thanks & I think you're right :( I started again when DD was 4mths & just before she slept through. Now DS is feeding less, its bound to have an impact. My mum had 9mths each of period free time with my dsis & I, essentially the whole time she was feeding us.

Re routines. The way I see it, babies & toddlers can't tell time, but do like things done a certain way. So if you do a milk, nappy change, food (when weaning), get dressed in the morning, it doesn't matter if its 7.50 or 8.25 when you start it...

Chicken, I've spent £150 on nappies (mostly preloved) and have enough to last till he's potty trained. That was enough argument for dp :o

All in ones (AIOs) aren't much faff, but they're bulkier to pack than folding nappies - and i thought that was the point in this instance?

Actually, ebay cheapy pocket nappies with decent stuffing might be a decent compromise between the two. 20x£4.50 is still cheaper, lighter and less bulky than 200 disposables...

Someone recommended aveno cream for cradle cap but it was a certain type just wondering if anyone knows what (sorry I can't remember who )

nervous it was sophia I think as it was the stuff with oatmeal in. I happened to have some and t worked a treat

chunky that's been my approach - and how we work at school save lunch, home etc. (was both really hard but also a relief to go from mainstream to special and loose the bells. we all get buggered though if the clocks aren't in sync!)

about discharge ...? might be af coming cos they keep telling me bf only contraceptive if feeding every 4 hours ..

Nervous it was sophia who recommended it. I use the original lotion with oats on Tilly and it works wonders! Cradle cap and dry skin almost gone after just a few days putting it on morning and bedtime!

I'm annoyed with dh. He hasn't done anything in particular except breathe to bug me, but his being here is getting on my nerves. When he was offshore I got the house back to resembling it's pre-baby self yet now he's on leave it is so untidy again. He is the culprit. He also ignores everything I say wrt M, ie taking her into our bed at night . He is spending money like it's going out of fashion (£90 in tescos yesterday and I have no idea what on - he bought 2 meals max ) - he has no idea about budgeting, I always dealt with the finances when I was earning more often than not more than him . He accused me of poisoning M yesterday because I had a cup of coffee (prat didnt realise it was decaff anyway but that isnt the point). I'm being petty because I know a lot of you have much bigger problems with your OHs, he's just driving me mad! I'm hoping it:s just hormones making me resent him being here. The fact he is amazing with M is his only plus point right now...

I have a heavy discharge too atm, had it for 4 days. It has a smell to it but not an offensive one, just a smell . I thought I had started my period too. But no.

He is 8 weeks, bf stopped over 5 weeks ago and expressed for last time on Dec 19th so would have thought a period would have been due by now.

I still have milk. Maybe that is why?

I was reading that thread last night GT It's great:-)

I used Oilatum Cream, just rubbed it into his scalp five minutes before a bath then washed his hair in the bath. His scalp was clear after the second application.

I have a banging head :( not what you need with a grumpy baby

We had our worst night last night since the early days.

He had a feed at 9 then went to sleep. DP decided he was going to keep hold of him rather than put him in the basket. So when we went to bed at just before 12, he woke up being put down. Like I said. I gave him a dream feed which seemed to do the trick, although he only took 2oz. He then grumbled for ages in the basket but it wasn't hunger. And he had had a clean nappy before the dream feed. Anyway he eventually settled, waking at 4. So I thought I'd give PR's DH trick of putting the dummy in. I also put the hoover white noise on. This was great except he kept spitting the dummy out every 2 minutes (or less!!) and then crying because it had gone! After almost an hour I caved and fed him - he wasn't screaming, but just whinging when the dummy fell out all the bloody time. He only took 3oz at that feed and then settled. I put him down at 5.30. At 6.20 I was still trying to get back to sleep (having been awake since 4!) when he started whinging.

So I decided it was DP's turn. By that point I was I a foul mood from the sweating incident as it was (how can one sweat so much in a room with no radiator on and it was -4 with snow outside...?) so I just lay there with eyes closed listening to what he was doing. He fed him a little more then sat rocking him. The next thing I remember I could hear him dragging the Moses basket to HIS SIDE OF THE BED!!! and from then on I did not wake!! I am reliably informed I was snoring and his whinges did not disturb me!! DP eventually gave up and bought him downstairs at 9 because he spent most of the time getting him to sleep for him to wake 5 minutes later wanting rocking or cuddling.

He better not repeat it tonight! I know it's nothing in the grand scheme of others nights but he isn't usually like that! Bit of a shock to the system!

Am so happy that DP stepped up to the plate last night. Finally. And that I stayed asleep!

Thanks for the kind words everyone. P has grovelled and been temporarily forgiven. However, he is not pulling his finger out his arse and not making enough of an effort.

I am just finding it all very stressful. The girls are wonderful and I am lucky that they are easy babies. It is OH that is the hard work! He has no initiative whatsoever! I have to guide him and give him instructions ALL the time. It is so hard having 2 small babies and literally no one to help us. My family are thousands of miles away and my sister 130 miles away in London. I have only lived in this part of the country for a couple of years so don't have real close friends nearby to rely on. It is very lonely sometimes. My idiot partner doesn't seem to get this. I cant even take the girls to baby clinic to be weighed as it the timings don't fit in with feeds and I can't feed two babies out alone. I can feed two babies at home on our double bed but not out and about. I am yet to go to baby groups. Literally nothing. I spend all week alone in the house (apart from our afternoon walk). It is really getting to me.

What made it all come to a head is P constantly moaning about his lack of sleep! I do all the daily feeds apart from one on my own! He has only done about 5 middle of the night feeds. I have done practically all of them since they were born. Thank God they sleep through now or I would have lost my mind by now. He selfishly announced the HE needed a break, we had a massive row and I kicked him out. He pissed off to his mothers house and stayed there with her for 2 weeks. I spent 5 days on my own with 2 small sick babies, luckily my parents arrived shortly after this. When my family arrived to stay, he came round and pretended to be father of the year! It just ended up being row after row between us. I don't have the time or energy to argue with him. I just want him to be mature and be helpful with the babies.

Just one example...The girls both have bad colds. Friday night was quite hellish. We did the last feed at 11pm and between then and 7am I got up 14 times to see to them. They were snuffly, grumpy, wouldn't settle. He didn't get up once! At one point I want holding and consoling one of them in my arms and leaning into the cot rubbing the back of the other while he slept. He would only get out of bed if I asked him to. The next day, after my very bad nights sleep. I got up, did washing, sterilised bottles, made bottles (and with two babies there are 10-12 bottles a day to wash, sterilise and make). He stayed in bed until 2pm and then complained how tired he was and then asked me what was for dinner. I do not have enough hours in the day and he is the most useless man in the world. He even complains about taking them for a walk. I have asked him to take them out in the pushchair so I can have a shower/bath or wash my hair and he complains. They are 16 weeks old and he has taken them out for a walk without me twice! He never gives me a break.

Sorry I have rambled on and on. But I guess I just lost it with him. He begged forgiveness and said he would change. I doubt it. Lets see. I don't hold out much hope.

Men are shit.

Oh wow garden I was going to empathise and say my DP was the same, but no way, yours takes the biscuit!!! I know mine can be crap at night and needs telling to do the majority of things but he has his redeeming features thank fuck.

You DH is damn lucky to be back at home with you and his daughters. Selfish bugger. He needs to get a grip, and quickly. Yes it is hard, two babies far harder than one, but it takes two to make them and he should just get on with it, he is jointly responsible for them.

I hope he realises what he could lose, and what he is putting you through as a family. Grrrr. Am for you.

What was he like before the babies arrived?

It was me nervous. You need the lotion with oatmeal in it. Is fab.

Chunky I have same issue as u. DH is not keen on reusables at all! Despite cost savings!

Nervous I think it was lotion rather then the cream version.

Bk to catching up.