October 2012 babies - over here nobbers!

[Smorgs]

This really will be the thread where all our babies start sleeping through the night... right?!

Oh help. I am having a weird day. Trying really hard to keep pma but it is not easy. Injections were rubbish, plus I was late as lost red book, was really hoping to be all organised today as I am scared they think I am not coping as I burst into tears last time I saw the hv, then had a bit of an issue with ds1's playgroup which probs is of no interest to any of you so I won't bore you. Then I went to baby massage which I have fought to go to as it is the one thing I really loved last time, was quite difficult to get ds1 looked after burger made it, only to find ten mins in that I was at the wrong place and was actually at baby yoga which was hopeless. I dont mean to demean baby yoga, only this session which seemed really poorly delivered. Ds is doing shark attack thing at every feed now and unlike londonmrss I am scared he isn't getting enough. Now I am in my bedroom trying to find any clothes to wear fir my KIT day st work tomorrow and I have literally nothing that will fit, looks smart and that I can pump in. Reeeeally don't feel up to a day at work but a days pay would be handy ATM as dh STILL hasn't got any interviews or anything coming up.

So sorry for me me me but I needed to get that out and my poor dh has enough stress in his life right now without me whining about clothes .

hugs Bella. that sounds really stressful.
what makes you think he might not be getting enough milk?

re clothes- I have a few proper breastfeeding things from Mamaway but usually I just layer a couple of tops with wide necks so one can be pulled down and one pulled up to pump or feed.
don't worry about what your hv thinks- I reckon they're used to seeing stressed mummies- especially when they have more than one little one.

sorry about your DH and the lack of job action. my fella was out of work for a year after his PhD. he found it really difficult, and I think felt a bit emasculated by it. how is your DH coping? keep taking to each other if you can.

Bells that sounds very stressful. I hope the HV doesn't take the attitude that you aren't coping, lots of us have wept on them I am sure! If it is any consolation babyfunch fell out of her carseat in front of ours because I hadn't strapped her in properly! She was very understanding (luckily dd was unharmed but it could have been very serious....I felt horrendously guilty, still do!). But they ought to understand that it is hard to be on top of it all, especially if you have other dc and a baby.

I found for kit days that my very baggy black yoga pants look smart enough to get away with if I put a long top over them so you can't see the waistband, do you have anything like that?

Oh poor Bella. Sounds a bit like everything in culminating for you.

Similarly to London when DH moved to London he didn't find a job for 5m. I think he definitely found it emasculating and it was hugely stressful for us both.

Best of luck tomorrow. I hope it goes really well.

london livvy thanks for the recipe, going to give it a go at weekend, I'm desperate for some cake!! Many thanks.

mickey that's huge!!! Lucky girl being so tall though, I ve always wanted to be a bit taller and my 5 yr old ds is a shorty too.

squid I bet you look fantastic, I went to a group on Monday and had wet patches on my shirt from leaking boob and mad scarecrow hair from the rain, unsurprisingly no one spoke to me, going again next week though.

Should say 5 yr old dd

bella hugs to you pet. So sorry about u missing class. That sucks.

Well done for going to work tomorrow. You will look fab. Where are u going to express? Surely no one can see u and doesn't matter if u need to whip it off?? Bring a cardi and u can keep warm while u take top off.

Non working man is tough. We've had one for over a year. He is going to be SAHD so it is interesting.

Good luck tmrw x

Mickey r u sure?? 89 cm is nearly 3 ft....... DS was born 60cm, now about 68 and I can't imagine another 20cm!!!

Oh bella massive hugs. These baby groups are great when they work out but kinda stressful when they don't!! And the weather doesn't help!!
I would actually cry if I had to go in for KIT day right now. I will be thinking of you...
Do you have any skirts with elasticated waists? I have a few plain black and grey ones and they were fab during preg and recently. With some tights and a dark coloured top (just in case!) you would look just fine. Sorry that may not be helpful if you don't have them, but in case you have them lurking in drawer somewhere!!
Whinge to us any time! must be so stressful with DH out of work

bella I don't know how you are even doing a KIT day - I would have no clue what to wear....

I have to go in to work on fri to discuss my return - I'm going to ask for part time but feel very nervous about it!

london I have been having similar feeding problems - she has previously fed very frequently and always very happy to take the boob. Last week though she was much more fussy - bobbing on and off and sometimes literally screaming at my nipple. I found it very stressful but there didn't seem much wrong with her. This week she has been much better although feeding far less often (every 3 hours or so).

This week's problem is the bath. She previously enjoyed the bath and was even starting to smile in it. The past few nights though she has screamed and screamed as soon as being put in it. Today DH got in with her but it didn't make much difference. Any ideas?? It's such a shame because it's the time that DH was spending with her when he got back from work and now it's just stressful.

I've ordered myself a few bits and pieces in my intermediate size. I'm a big wearer of dresses so I've compromised with shirt dresses and tea dresses (I.e., button down) which i can BF in has made me feel a bit better about my fucking massive arse.

Am very tired and not sure whether I'm a bit ill. Was going to go for my run but DH told me not to be a dickhead. Need to be careful not to get obsessive

Oh, and clothes were ordered from very cheap places and eBay! I refuse to spend £££ cos my fatness is deffo temporary, innit.

Bora sounds like you need some rest, take care of yourself love. Exercise is not good for you when you're not well/exhausted.
I buy everything from ebay too.
I miss dresses, I have lots of cute shift 60s style ones, I would have to flash everyone when bf to wear them
I feel better since buying a pair of jeans that fit, even though the trying on/buying was not fun. They are only one size up anyway, and a bit big if anything. It's nice to be in jeans again.
Boyfriend has told me to sleep in spare room tonight. Jess doesn't feed overnight but she is often very loud and thrashes around and snuffles with her cold, poor mite. He is very good to me.
I still can't get over how much better I'm able to sleep when I do get the chance. I survived on 2-5 hrs a night for years and years... now I can sleep all night if Jess doesn't wake me. Read somewhere that bf is full of sleepy hormones...

bedtime.

I can totally see you in 60s shift dresses squid.

Yy to BF hormones. Mmm, lovely.

Smile I find the little pendulum thing on the movement monitor quite reassuring - saves me having to prod Erin to check she's still breathing if she's sleeping silently! However, last night at 1am the alarm actually went off - she must have been really sleeping deep and not moved (it's only went off once before) and I leapt out of bed whilst still 90% asleep and was halfway across the room before I woke up I'm sure. In the meantime, Erin must have moved and the alarm went silent again and I had to ask DH 'did that really just happen or was I dreaming'. So that was quite stressful.

London I know what you mean re loss of hungry cues - Erin now chews her hand all the time and the old pouting or mouthing moves are gone. I can tell if she's hungry now because she does quick breathing like panting (lemme get to that boob excitement I think) and tries to latch on to my cheek/neck - although generally I just guess that she might be hungry if it's been 2-3 hours since her last feed. Feed times range from a quick 5 mins or 45 mins for the last one at night. If anyone other than me has her then she will go for longer - so if I've been away somewhere she can be happily playing away with my brother or mum - but as soon as I appear back and she smells food - then she immediately decides it's dinner time and cries. I have to say that if I can't tell what's wrong when she's crying then I stick a boob in her mouth just to see if that's what she wants and generally she's either hungry or else tired and will then suck for 20 seconds and fall asleep.

Erin's latest thing is that every poo she does requires a change of clothes - she does it right up her back every time - previously we were on a poo every time she fed (in one end out the other) but now it's all saved up into two giant poos a day

Bella sorry to hear that you've had a rubbish day - sometimes when everything comes at once, it's just too much. Perhaps go for a more casual look for your KIT day than normal and just wear something you feel OK in rather than something more 'officey' - would that work?

At the moment I'm trying to work Erin's bedtime forwards - so she's been upstairs for an hour now - yay! DH was asking why I'm not leaping on him rather than typing on laptop - hmm

Fjord I saw from earlier posts that you live in Stavanger - I lived in Haugesund for six months after uni - my friends from there are coming to stay next month to visit Erin. I love Norway

I don't understand how it is physiologically possible for some babies to have two massive pops a day and some to only have one a week. They're getting the same input, how can the output vary so much and how can it not affect them??

Maybe it's those prunes I've been eating

I can not thank you all enough for such kind words of support (and clothes suggestions!!) I really really appreciate it. I have tried to get everything possible ready for the morning, even the breakfast is laid out ready! I still feel incredibly nervous. Dh is brilliant with ds1 but I do most of the baby stuff and he hasn't really spent much time looking after them both. He is bringing baby into work for a feed at lunchtime thank god- the thought of a whole day away is horrifying. I can not believe I will be doing this 3 times a week in a couple of months. Sob! Massive props to huffle and others going back full time. When are people going back?
Londonmrss- thanks for asking about the feeding. I am pretty sure that up until now he has been gaining weight just fine. I am in midgets gang of non-weighers, mostly because of the pox, but also coz he is starting to get sumo wrestler thighs! It is just because in the last few days he has started to do all the things you and others have described - writhing around, coming off frequently, not giving cues, feeding less often and sometimes unwillingly and sometimes giving me the impression that there's nothing there, if that makes sense? But I am wondering if he is maybe becoming a more efficient feeder which is why he doesn't want it as often, or for as long. My boobs just seem soft all the time when they used to fill up, then deflate, but the hv told me that it us a good thing if they are soft. Has anyone else heard that? Hope your LO is still feeding Better londonmrss? Xxx

Thanks again- you are such a great gang.

Bella sounds like you are all sorted! I have had two half kit days and a full one and another half next Monday - I fond once I got going I just fell back into it and the time flew! I go back full time on 25 feb and DH will be daddy daycare...luckily we are a bit of a gender reversal type couple as he does all the housework anyway so I have made sure he can do all necessary baby stuff and I feel fairly confident he will look after babyfunch just as well as I do. just need him to avoid the temptation to mess about on the iPad all day, and I hope mums at baby groups will include him!

Wow to all you people going back to work already... even if only for KIT days, I know DH would cope fine but I would never be able to sort my shit out and a) get there on time, b) not be covered in baby spew or c) have to work AND pump! hats off to you guys that are

Londonmrs we had exactly the same issues around xmas (she would have been 12 weeks I think)... I was so upset by the constant screaming and rejection every time I tried to feed her, sometimes she would totally refuse to feed for 6 or 7 hours which had me a nervous wreck too. I eventually figured out that if I let her calm down again she would sometimes then feed, but TBH it seemed to be another one of those things that just passed in time. I used to get feeding cues... she used to do a little bark like a fawn... now she gives me very little for hungry or tired (other than sometimes getting slightly red eyes) so I pretty much clock watch the awake time (she generally starts frantic eye rubbing as soon as I'm putting her down to sleep) and feed whenever her yelling seems to turn from happy chattering to being more insistent. And I offer a boob at the slightest hint she might be getting grumpy... it's my solution to everything And if you've got a fast let down your DD is probably full after a few mins anyway. My DD feeds for about 6 mins now, then sort of plays with my nipple and has the odd suck for 6-7 mins after that.

squid totally with you on the other ladies in the mummy groups! One of the ladies in my group gave birth 3 weeks ago and looks like there was never even a baby in there... at that stage I could only just walk!

Bora another one of the babies in my mums group didn't poo for 14 days over xmas!!! his mum rang the health line after 12 and they told her the longest they'd ever heard of was no poo for 23 days!!!!! Imagine what came out and the smell too

DD figured out how to get her thumbs in her mouth weeks ago but still hasn't figured out how to suck on them! it's quite cute... she sort of sits there with her mouth open, thumb in going 'what now'! It's weird cos she sucked her thumb without help within minutes of giving birth (while I was having the 5 million stitches put in) but has now forgotten!

Not posted for a few days due to busy 3 day weekend.
Hope you're all sleeping soundly and uninterrupted on the other side of the world!

Bora, of course our fatness is only temporary! [hopefull emoticon] But how do you not wear jeans?! I wear nothing but.
Loved "whenever she even looks at me funny I pop a boob in. She usually eats so I'm guessing its the answer, even if it might not have been the question" - exactly the same here, never refused a feed yet.
Hope you're not coming down with something, take care.

Big sympathies on your crap day Bella. Don't feel like you have to put on a face for the HV, no one could ever think you're doing a bad job. Surely everyone cries on them at some point, especially with 2?!
As for breast feeding (expressing) clothes, I wear nursing bra and nursing vest (the style that unclip at top of cup/end of strap), so everything else can just be pulled up. Means I can wear normal stuff on top, except dresses. Though a wrap or button style would be fine I think.
I have also heard that soft boobs at this stage is absolutely nothing to worry about. It means that your supply has evened out to what is needed. Apparently many women worry that they're not producing enough at this stage. I think we have to just have faith in our bodies.
Love the bunting idea, I'm very tempted but I think I'll be saving everything for the next one. and I still haven't finished the bunting I started when pregnant

Sympathies about your nan Squid, I hope she's comfortable.
I got my jeans sorted a while back because I don't wear much else. Got mine from Uniqlo because they're cheap, stretchy and suit my shape ok. Desparate to get back into my decent ones though so I've also ordered Shred, can't wait to get started!

The jumper dress thing was me Livvy, thanks for the great links! And I would definitely be up for a bit of post natal yoga on Skype

Happy belated birthday London! Sounds rather eventful, what with the pumping and the MAP incident
I feed totally on demand, about every hour and half to 2 hours (after nap/playtime). I'm no good with cues but I just offer when I'm at a loss and he's never refused, so not much help to you sorry.

Glad things are improving Celestia, I think you're a star for coping with twins (see what I did there? ) I don't know how you do it!

We use an Ergo with infant insert, Lisbeth. Also have a Moby but haven't used it for ages as, though its very comfortable, it's a faff and DS not so keen. He and I like the Ergo, but it doesn't sit right on DH.

at your DH Wantan. Mine's not great at entertaining yet either. Actually, it amazes me how many people (MIL) expect an awake baby just to lie calmly in their arms without any stimulation.

Your bloody boobs, eh Huffle?! Hope the lump remains pain free, so glad it wasn't anything more serious.

Welcome back Turnwest!

Thanks for photo box tip Smorgs, we need to get passports sorted ASAP so will be checking that out.

Well done with the weight gain Woolly!

Hope you've had some better days since the crap day from hell Yomping.

Can you tell DS is having a long nap?!

Our news...
DS had his first jabs today! I was really not looking forward to it, had trouble sleeping last night and everything. But it wasn't too bad, he was smiling right up til they stuck them in (3 jabs today), then screamed for a bit but soon stopped. I couldn't feed straight after to calm him because the rota virus one is medicine they drink and it sometimes makes them sick so you have to wait for a bit.

I finally went to the foreign mothers' group on Saturday. It was ok, but a bit dry. More like a class really, and the place is not really set up for babies . Dragged DH along, but unfortunately this one was about BF, so very dull for him. Good to meet people though, so will be going again.
I've also found out about a mother and baby Japanese class, so I'm starting that next week. And MIL says I should go to a few super expensive Mamma & Baby yoga classes so I can continue at home, says she'll pay if we won't .
I really want to because I've been doing a bit from YouTube recently and DS loves it!

My friend had her baby girl on Saturday, 2 weeks early. I'd just visited her on Friday and said it sounded like she'd be coming soon. Going to visit her tomorrow, can't wait for a squish - the tiny baby days already seem like a distant memory. She's been having trouble with BF, so I've been trying to help. Stupid Kindle won't let me lend her my "Womanly art..." though.

Loving how there'll be so many stay at home dads on this thread!

Yesterday I was going to post how I was having a lovely day with a lovely baby and wouldn't it be great to be this chilled all the time?? 8 hour sleep, morning nap, calm feeding. Fear of looking smug stopped me.

Well that was short lived! DS been up since 4, 2 explosive poonamis and has a cross face and angry wiggly body! I do not know what is up with him and he is being very mean to my poor easily hurt nipples.

Can someone please come and take him for the day? I'll leave him in the porch for you.

cherry (and anyone else) can you post a link to the mum and baby yoga youtube vid you've been using?