Dec 08 Mums - Happy New Thread, You Beauties!

[beans37]

Come join me....

Kayz what did you buy?

I'd love an ellevill, I have a bit of interest in the kangas I put up so if that comes off I may buy one, shall see. If I get one though it will have to be fully funded from other slings. My custom will be ready soon, that was funded from selling other baby stuff but I think with that and a pretty wrap my babyhawk will have to go (don't mind much as ds2 will be too big for it soon) but also my other wrap which I am sentimental about :( That group is amazing though, I just cna't get over how much money people spend and HOW much of the buying and selling is done by the same people! Not to mention the "I paid £x so want that back plus fees and postage" so essentially every time the wrap is sold the price goes up .

Beans glad the bottom cam was ok

Our school allocations are April too I think, can't remember the date . Am pretty relaxed about it this time! Choosing the first time is bloody hard though, I well remember the nerves waiting and then the appeal process with ds1. And we live in a pretty easy area! Sometimes we talk of moving, will we end up moving to Leeds or somewhere after my degree? What if dh is still working there would we go and I'd get work there? But the thought of trying to move to an area we can afford and has decent school fills me with fear. I want to stay in my pit village! .

Gosh a cottage is a lovely idea, I hope some of you manage it. Call me when I've graduated and have a job and some money!

No accents here apart form a fully fledged local NE one for ds1 and the start of one for dd. She does a good line in voices when she plays and tells ds1 (he of little imagination) off for not doing them. I am of the multilingual environments you all have, exposing them to all those accents, languages and cultures must be brilliant. No immigrant was ever stupid enough to come and work down a mine. I practically do a double take if I see anyone who isn't white in the village . There are a few Europeans around in villages closer to Durham, mostly university connected with a few exceptions and then in Durham you get university connected people from various parts but out here it is 99.9% white!

Hope the sinuses are clearing!

Dh has resettled ds2 for the second time already this evening I suppose at least he is letting dh resettle him again, must look on the plus side! He and dd both still are a bit hoarse and not quite right still from that nasty cold. She is knackered and sleeping form 7pm til 8.30am or so. Monday will be a shock to the system, nursery starts at 8!

I should really go to bed. I have made epiphany brioche like my Maman used to make and I have made confit duck legs for dh's birthday next weekend which should now be cool enough to pop in a tub, cover with their own fat and stick in the fridge until they are needed. I'm drooling just thinking about it. Next weekend is going to involve some good food as ds1 has asked for seafood for his birthday dinner so we are going to get fresh squid, mussels and whatever else we can find and ignore MIL who said to just give fishfingers to her dh because he isn't keen on mussels.

Well that was quite frankly an odd evening. Got a babysittier drove to London met up with DH had some dinner left him there to go back to work and drove home alone. Its like dating but without the end of the evening snog or nudge nudge

Beans your DH is being a knob mine does the same sometimes. Have a glass of wine and ignore him for 5 hrs.

Oh about the accents DS2 a hilarious American accent. He does watch phineas & Ferb and Disney-Pixar DVDs. On accents in general both boys seem to have developed quite English accents despite living here. Apparently, DS1 speaks dutch with an English accent (I've no idea it's all dutch to me), but when he reads out loud in English he reads with a dutch accent. It sounds so funny & DH and I have to really control ourselves so we don't giggle.

Beans the boys do lots of roll play with killing involved. I blame the how to train your dragon movie. It's pretty harmless though.

Oh poor Jam, you didn't pull then. I'd dump this guy.

Belated happy 2013 all. And best birthday wishes to all the 4 year old DCs. I'm afraid I've failed even to lurk in recent months, but I can't let this time of year go without giving a thought to you ladies.

Indith, I got a Vatanai Tintagel. I've been looking at them for a while so when one came up I thought I'd go for it. DH wondered why we needed another so I showed him the pictures of the stashes some people have. So my 2 aren't that bad really.

DD has a cold. Sleep is practically impossible.

We don't have any accents here at the mo', but DD did go through a phase of talking like Fifi the Flowertot when she was at pre-school. DS is into killing things, too much Robin Hood and Peter Pan perhaps.

Sorry to hear you have sinusitis, Rubes. Until last year I had no idea how ghastly it is. Good advice from Lady. Hope it shifts soon.

Very pretty Kayz.

Ds2 is a little imp. A little teething imp. 2 nights where he was a little more settled (as in did 3 hours one evening rather than anything fabulous) now back to restless sleep and taking ages to settle. Last night at 1.30am he was crying and crying, I rubbed anbesol on his gums then he threw himself at dh and went to sleep on his chest . He is being such a daddy's boy at the moment, he just wants dh all the time. Sadly dh goes back to work tomorrow!

I have so much washing up to do. I started a new cleaning rota type thing last weekend. One week in and I'm already failing .

Hello Invisible!

Vag thanks for letting me know about the weekend in Amsterdam. Shame about that although I have been haemorrhaging cash all weekend so it's probably just as well! Brilliant news about your friend - do you know what happened to her?

Invis hello! Do try & bob back when you get a chance - it'd be great to hear how you are.

Indith what date does your course start? Is it a 3 year one?

Yes PD it is 3 years, we start 25th March.

My dh is such an eejit. He dropped the hot iron on the carpet and stood there doing the panic dance before picking it up so the carpet now has an iron shaped melted bit (not bothered by that, the carpet is around 600 years old and covered in stains even though I vax it regularly). He then picked up the iron and tried to use it to keep ironing his shirt. Shirt now has melted carpet bit over it.

Lady, Yes had heard that about the sudafed. Usually only use it when in dire need ie flying when I shouldn't, which I did, but was pretty much at the tail end of it this morning and felt well enough. The steaming did me wonders! Hadn't worked in 7 weeks so thought I'd best make an appearance.

Jam we have those type of dates!
Can you or anyone else who is a gym goer let me know what membership fees they pay and for what as I'm looking into joining before this possibly amazing deal ends!

My Chicken Biriyani just arrived and if this doesn't do a final sweep of my sinuses (amongst other things!) nothing will.

Beans - I don't have those type of beefs with dh - more I kick off at him about things I later realise were completely irrational of me and then I feel bad. Usually something to do with his highly disorganised ways, and his lack of communication about stuff but to be fair he works a crap load for me and the kids, and its usually me having Pmt and I always feel terrible after.
From what you say it seems you have every right to be pissed off at times, but also it's hard to say as its often easier to write about the bad stuff and not the good, so may sound on here to us, like he's worse than he really is iyswim!
Vagazzle hope dh remembers his password soon!

Phone ate my other post. Was thanking beans for nap dropping tip. Things going well.

Trying to stay up late as this trip has horrendous check out time and plan to sleep a for long time shortly. Bliss.

Ate too much curry.

Hope dh remembered his password Vagazz

Urgh. DD has a cold. So she's sleeping worse than usual. As well as being all snotty and gunky. She's not eating either so wants feeding all the time.

Hello ladies coming to you from chaseloungeville. After 7 years of full-time motherhood I have delivered both my charges into the custody of school. Hooray! So far in the 1.5 hrs since dropping them off I have updated my Facebook, chatted to some friends on whatsapp & caught up with you lovely ladies. I am onto my second uninterrupted coffee and have had a brief emergency situation where some young hooligan let off a massive firework across the canal from us and scares 7 lives out of the cat. Poor thing was outside and literally threw herself at the back door trying to get inside.

Sorry again about those dates PD, I would so love you to come over, we would really have a relaxing weekend. I have to say spring is a bit nicer here as it starts to get warmer and could maybe zip by the tulip fields, or not as the mood takes us. I'm actually having the weekend before in Amsterdam with some girlfriends as its one of the girls leaving thing. Is going to be ladies of a certain age debauchery. Don't suppose you want to come then?

Right I have a mission of getting this house sorted out. I'm gonna need a lot of garbage bags.

Oh & Indith when does your degree start.

Kayz sorry about the sicky bubby. Are you still thinking of doing your history degree. Hopefully if I get into this masters course, I'm gonna need study buddies.

You can have me as a study buddy vag. When No.2 starts school in Sep I am going back to studying either NCT teacher or breast feeding councillor.

So relieved to have them back at school/nursery. I do love having them at home but its been a long 3 weeks. DH home tonight for a couple of nights yay!

Off to the gym in a mo. Oh and Rubes I think we pay about 80/month for both of us for gym membership then its another 20/month if we want to add the boys on too.

Morning ladies...apologies in advance I have a huge rant about DH coming up (beans may well sympathise)

Last night we had the mother of all arguments over my work, or as DH put it 'lack of work'. Granted I only work 15 hours a week, DH refers to me as a housewife who sits on my arse all day who needs to go out and get a proper job and earn some money! I'm fucking seething at him.

When we met I earned more than him,my job was better, better perks etc and I basically paid the deposit on the house by myself plus lots of other stuff that I never ever cared about - we were in a relationship and as far as I was concerned 50/50. I said from day 1 that if I had children I didn't want to work full time (no problems with those that do, it was just my personal choice). He agreed. We knew that money would not be as free flowing as it was when I worked FT but it was a sacrifice I thought we were both agreed on. I went PT after DD, and then took voluntary redundancy after DS. A decision we both agreed on, and happily spent the redundancy money!! The job I have now is okay, the hours fit perfectly with school/pre school and when DS starts full time in Sept I am going to approach my boss about more hours and if that's a no go then look for something else. DH now thinks I am lazy, work shy and using DS as an excuse not to work more. I argued that if I worked more now DS would need to come out of pre school and into a private nursery & DD would need breakfast/after school club. So any new job would also need to cover the increase in childcare to make it worthwhile. DH says "excuses excuses". I wouldn't mind doing this if a good job came along but I am not going to unsettle DS this close to starting school given how hard nursery are trying to work with him.

I do fucking everything at home. i don't mind I work less than him. DH is doing lots of overtime at the moment. He says its for holidays/house move but I should start pulling my weight he cant do it all on his own! And that is the crux of it. We cope financially but DH wants more holidays/bigger house and until I earn more that isn't possible. I feel & . I am not fucking lazy,I thought we both felt the same. He then said I'd better not end up a lazy cow like my sister (who has never worked since having children). her youngest is autistic, he has to have my sister drop/collect him from school and be there for him after school and in the holidays. He said she too was full of excuses because she cant be bothered looking for a job. I could have smacked him round the head.

Oh and he things there are 1000s of jobs out there paying decent salaries that I should just be able to walk into!! He has made me feel like shit about myself and totally undervalued everything I have ever done for our family. Last night I said our biggest problem was having the children, if he had wanted to carry on having the finer things in life we should have never had them. One problem with that is that if it wasn't for the kids I wouldn't still be married to him.

I am fuming!!!!

Sorry for all the swearing...its a fraction of what I said to him last night!

Is it possible DH feels himself that he can't earn as much as he thinks he needs to for the family. Ok that's it I've given my balanced view. Now as a bloody hard working SAHM I would like to tell him right now to go Fuck himself. Not only we mums have to sort the house, sort the kids etc day & night at home, we also need to get the little lovelies to their after School stuff. I'm sure a large amount odds weight will be lost this year getting the boys to their various school stuff. We have gymnastics for Ds1 Monday, Thursday every week and one Saturday a month. Gymnastics for DS2 on Wednesdays. Violin on Tuesdays & every second Friday. Then Chinese school every Saturday. We also need to fit swim academy for DS1 & basic swimming lessons. It's a schedule that makes DHs eyes water, I've got to do all this without a car (though I can book a carshare if I want but i try not to, to keep costs down). Now the reason I say all this is that in your DHs eyes because none of this that I do I get payed for, it is of no value and contributes to my work shyness. I would like to see him try to do this. But the bit that makes me the most annoyed is his accusation aimed at your sister. I worked with Autistic kids, frankly, your sister is amazing. What she has to deal with at home, & the stigma in society, she needs a holiday not a job.

Ok rant over, clearly I've been of no help. Right I'm off to continue sorting out this house.

DB I could cheerfully thump your H right now. I shall try and be more constructive when i have calmed down.

Worth pointing out that it isn't just you who would pay childcare, just because you are female doesn't mean it comes from your wages. (sorry but that is something that really pisses me off, the assumption that because it is us women who return to work after mat leave it all comes form our salary).

Vag That's it my 'job' is 24 hours! When I'm not at work I'm picking the kids up, swim lessons, after school club, washing, ironing....it goes on. I don't get a day off, I don't mind its what I chose. I don't care who has a bigger house, nicer car, Caribbean holidays...it doesn't bother me. I'll happily work with what I've got. And if that's camping for a week then so be it. Our children will look back at memories not price tags!! DH wants more and the answer to that is me doing more 'paid' hours. I see that but if I'm working later who is going to take them to swim lessons etc? Not DH, his job is so fucking important that ALL childcare cover etc falls on me or for me to sort out.

The remark about my sister, well, I'd have gladly knocked him into next week. my sister would love a fecking job to give her a break!

Indith I hate the assumption the childcare should come from my wage - they are his kids too!!

And don't even get me started on what our body's go through to produce these children. They pay surrogates a decent amount (& so they should) to have kids but we do it for free.

Oh Deids ??
Very well said Vag, your entire post covered all my thoughts on the situation.
Sounds like an issue within himself but he's twisting it and taking it out / blaming you. It's not on.
does he ever have the kids ie for a couple of days completely on his own and do what you do every day all day? Perhaps instead of the next holiday he wants, he could take annual leave instead, and step into your shoes fir a few days and you can go on a little trip away! Visit Vag!

You know what tell him to draw up a business plan for this. Taking into account the costs versus the increased income & pros & cons. I'd be very interested with what he comes up with.

Speaking of camping where is everyone off to this year. You know we could have a Dec 08 camp out. Would be cheaper than a cottage.