October babies. Don't get lost

[lisbethsopposite]

Come in come in.

Londonm v funny!!! Oh and I keep forgetting your fall. Gah. I hope you are healing. You poor thing. Well done on primal reaction!! We live in bungalow on the flat. New house is house with steps up front and back. I've not actually climbed any steps or stairs with bubs yet! Oh dear.

Cherry I hate bibs! One of my oddities!! Yesterday one if ones I used was those new bandana styles. V efficient! But god he looked like a nobber in it......... Yee haw!! Saddle me a horse!!!!

Less than 4.5 hrs. Oof.

Don't worry huffle you will totally get used to the stairs. We have two flights at the road entrance which we have got used to somehow! When do you move? I don't envy you trying to move house with your wee one. What is your new place like? DS is sooooo excited for Christmas, yes! He is being so adorable about it. We took him to a National trust house to see Santa which was amazing. I would def recommend joining NT to you all for when your babies are bigger. We have had so many lovely days out. They all have brilliant parks and walks and are very family friendly.

You were all discussing gifts for baby. DH and I are doing the same as we did for ds1. We each chose him a story book that had been special to us in our childhood and dedicated it to him in the front. We each opened each others which was quite sweet.

Bella I have missed you! Love your present ideas, that's really meaningful.

Smorgs I have missed you too! sorry to hear it has been a struggle. I can identify! mini yomping has days where her default more is crying. DH was "in charge"yesterday and all I did was feed on request (my idea, an steel to get him to interact with her a bit more) and he was destroyed by the end of the day and actually shouted at her when she cried on being taken from a warm lap to a cold changing mat and then did a wee when her nappy was taken off. poor baby, my idea back fired a bit there. Seriously though, do men not have a clue? I think the advice you we're given about feeding is bollocks. the approach in France seems quite regimented and not very forward thinking, don't be afraid to ignore that advice and go back to feeding on demand.

Another one here who doesn't sleep through. nights are a bit of a endurance event. first sleep usually 3hours. Then an hour to feed, wind and settle. next sleep usually 2hours max, then an hour to feed and settle and maybe change nappy. next sleep 90 mins max, repeat. Would love to know why sleeps get shorter as night wears on, no matter how long she spends feeding.We had one legendary 5 and a half hour sleep at 6 and a half weeks and the very occasional 4 hour sleep but that's it.

London, glad info about alcohol helped. Sounds like it varies baby to baby but if steering clear may lead to better feeding and longer sleeps then it's worth a shot.

I've gone off sex . Don't know if it's stress, tiredness, frequent annoyance at DH for not doing enough around the house/still spending way more time focusing on his own interests than I think is fair/not trying to soothe mini yomping when she cries (he sort of freezes, doesn't know what to say to her, and just holds her in silence and gets tense while she cries more and more, wonder why ... suspect it is all of the above, but it's crap and a bit of a catch 22 as having sex would relax me and not having it is making me feel even more stressed!

God I just can't keep up with you all. I started a big post and now it is all out f date. Christmas is keeping me busy and I am neglecting you all.

Welcome back Neeneehoo good to have you.

Special hugs for yomping and zara. You ate both so honest and doing your utmost best to break the cycles of your past. I have no doubt that you will both make excellent mums. Your intentions are right and that is the first step.

Sleep - I am knackered master nudge goes 4 hours straight and then keeps waking every 2. Saying that last night he did 2 four hour stretches but I think that was the wine .

Right got to go and get the horse feeder to school. (happy belated birthday squid). Foolishly having a Christmas party for DD. stupid move and going to have a houseful of kids and parents after school. Over compensating for her having to share me by throwing money at the situation money I don't really have--

cherry I love damn you autocorrect - it cracks me up. Right must go, midge may be sleeping but DC1 is literally hanging off me. Motherhood is a cruel mistress.

Damn you autocorrect!

the sleep thing is pure luck isn't it? for 3 nights we got a sleep of 6 hours. last night only got 3. didn't do anything any different, kept routine the same. grrrr.

Yomping, your nights certainly sound very wearing, I'm not surprised you've lost interest in sex. I hope things get better for you soon.
We've not had sex since the first time a couple of weeks ago because I hardly see DH during the week these days, and then compensate by cramming in so much at the weekends that I'm too knackered.
Anyway, I shouldn't have bragged about my routine yesterday. Last night I did a nappy change and a dream feed when I went to bed because he hadn't woken. Then he woke just 3 hours later, had a feed and did an explosive poo that I couldn't leave, was wide awake, grizzling and babbling, for about an hour then wanted feeding again!

Those gifts sound lovely Bella. We bought some toys and a mobile last weekend but forgot about Christmas and started using them straight away. Doh.

at your cowboy DS Huffle! I don't like normal bibs but have hundreds for some reason, but I quite like the bandana ones. Not had to use any yet though.

Bless your horse feeder Midge.

Anyone using an Ergo baby carrier? How do you stop baby's head falling forward and/or being smushed into your chest when he's asleep? At the moment I have the straps quite loose so he's lying back more, but I don't know if this is right.
I also don't put a snowsuit or anything on him when in it, I find a hooded cardi, cotton hat and mittens is fine (over usual vest and sleep suit I mean!) - those things are sweaty!

Had a lovely lunch with my friend at a great crab restaurant, DS was an angel. Now back home on the sofa with no plans for the rest of the day. Ahhhhh....it's been a busy week. I'm counting down the minutes until its acceptable to eat a mince pie or 2 after such a big lunch.

Eat the pie(s) cherry!! You deserve it and it is Christmas!!

Xxx

I keep having terrible nightmares that lo gets kidnapped and killed. in the dream its usually because I've done something stupid like left her alone or given her to a stranger to look after.

maybe it's because yesterday I actually debated whether it would be acceptable to leave her home alone while I went to the corner shop. to be fair, the shop is next door and only as far away as when I go to take the rubbish out... plus I live on the second floor and taking baby out is always epic. however I decided that it would be unacceptable so I took her in the carrier. is it bad that the thought crossed my mind?

ugh, so the night before last was a fluke. lots of getting up last night. in the end i gave up and put her in bed with us- that seemed to work and managed to get four hours this morning... so tired.

hi bella!!! how is DH's work situation?have been thinking of you.
hello smorgs and nenehoohoo, nice to see ya, to see ya nice!

I've thought it many times London and done it once.

London I've done it, and I had the exact same dream last night!!!

OK arrrgh so the past two nights DS has slept through (9pmish-6am) BUT has been hell to get settled in the evening, ie screamy for a few hours because he's overtired/hot/colicky/whothefuckknows. Would rather have a sleepy night feed or two than losing my evenings EVERY NIGHT FOR THE PAST 3 WEEKS.

Anyone else have this? Only solution I can think of is earlier bedtime (6pm???) to avoid over tiredness, and hope he wakes at 9ish for another feed then settles for a longer stretch. Reason I've resisted is that it's hot (25+) indoors and bright and harder to settle him.

I swear to god if this is still happening in a few months I'm going to have to consider CIO.

Yomping, I had had the odd glass of wine at 7pm before, then find to bed at 830, then feeding at 10. But since DF is not at uni at the moment he volunteered to do it, so I expressed before going to bed. Which means that my milk had a higher concentration of booze than would be the case at 10, even though she was being fed at the sane time. Your comment made a lightbulb go off!

Argh re your hubby not finding his baby mojo yet. It took me ages to soften and work things out tho.

No champ sleeps here. She sleeps from 7-10, then 11 -3, then 330ish to 630 or 7.

Smorgs. Hugs. Being with a baby all day and night is sodding hard. And boring, at times.

Bella. lOVE the pressie idea. Love.

Started this at 730 so have probably cross posted with 20 of you.

Furthest I hav been and left bubs was to go in to chip shop, order and come out again. Car outside door. Didn't want him smelling of chip shop..........

I also left him in car in garage forecourt as was sound asleep. Think I lost night sleek over that one tho as had horrific guilty visions of forecourt exploding in fire or someone stealing car. V v v bad mother.

Bella DH has been renovating his house for 2 bloody years nearly for us to move to. He is a builder but has mostly had no work and thus we decided to hav baby now and he can be SAHD. Our original plan was to give it major decor overhaul with new kitchen etc. Turned in to epic project money pit with extension, new concrete floors, half a new roof, re-wired, re-plumbed, sound proofing one side, double insulating all the original old house, new garden, new driveway. Ugh. And delay after delay. Ugh. But we need to get finished and move before I go back to work in March as DH will then be full time dad and unable to do it (cackles wickedly at DH dealing with DS to mask my guilty heart wrenching fears!!!)

So it will be a beautiful house, lovingly finished by DH but right now he could happily throw the keys in the river and just walk away!!!! We also need to get out of my house and get it rented. Paying 2 mortgages whilst one of us is on unpaid maternity and the other unemployed is not only painful but plain bloody stupid!

Sleep was 4.5 hrs from midnight then up 1 hr and 3 hrs until 8.30. Not bad. He has been up since and is now wrecked. Off out now to finish Christmas shopping as he will likely now have 2 hrs nap. Please. Crying baby in shops equals stressed over heated embarrassed mummy.

Am I missing something not starting bedtime til 9.30?? We bathe at 9.30 then take him in to bedroom for pjs, low light, feed, story time. He has nap about 4-6 and then doesn't really sleep again. How are you all getting bedtime from 6or 7???? We would be up all night!!!

Huffle, I usually put him down for the first leg at about 7:30.
I'd like to do it later but he gets really overtired by then and I find it really difficult to keep him happy and entertain him. I can't do anything else if I don't put him to bed.
Sometimes he takes a while, or several attempts to settle. Sometimes he's awake but content in his cot for an hour or so.
Still, he usually sleeps til about 7am with approx 3 wakings, one while I'm still up.
I'm beginning to realise he sleeps a lot. He sleeps a few times in the day, too.
House sounds like it's going to be amazing!
Just put dribble bib/bandana thing on DS for the first time - he looked like a nobber possibly due to fat neck

Zara, if you did move bed time earlier and he didn't wake for a feed, you could always try a dream feed? I've done it a few times and it has usually been fairly successful.

I ate the pies Bella! Now I'm thinking about dinner.

Hi mickey and midget! Nice to see you again too
Londonmrss I contemplated leaving mini in car to pop into tesco... Mainly because we don't have isofix bars in car so getting car seat in us a faff. Also no central locking so have to climb over seats to unlock her door. And this is our new car we bought for her arrival - that's how poor we are!!!
Huffle be thankful your DH can actually do stuff properly - mine is a DIY 'expert' so thinks he can renovate anything himself. To be fair he's done a brilliant job of laying wooden flooring, but we still have no skirting boards downstairs or doorframe in the kitchen. Or bath panel on bath. We do have electrical tape over the grouting in the bathroom though. Looks lovely. Seriously tempted to do it myself and risk his wrath but I have a baby surgically attached to me.
And yomping - yes men tend to have no clue til they're forced to IME! mine used to hand mini back every time she cried with the words "she's hungry" because she had sucked his finger. I then watched him one day, and he would be leaving his finger in for ages - so of course she'd eventually suck!!! Probably to bloody get shot of him so she could come back to me!!! Aargh! So had to explain ways I try to settle her and he's now much better at trying other options. Also got VERY stressed when left with her alone for a few hours for first time. she screamed non stop and he was extremely shitty with me when i called to see if he was ok, as he 'had his hands full'. because i don't when i'm alone with her all day?! he did apologise. Have left him with her for a couple of hours three times now and after the initial scream fest he's now a pro and this is good for both our mental health. They need to learn to cope when there's no other choice, because that's what we have to do.

I don't go anywhere so I can't even contemplate leaving her

London that text really made me laugh! ds2 bouncing around on boob

dreams - last night I had a vivid dream that dh walked into room carrying ds2 who had blood all over him. I actually got out of bed in real life cos it seemed so real at least I slept tho eh, every cloud and all that.

shortest day of the year today!! the only way is up!!

welcome back Bella and smorgs! really good to see you both. smorgs I reckon just do what your baby wants and ignore that advice. poor you it can get confusing

the tongue tie cutter (!) refused to cut ds2's yesterday cos he's too unwell. fair play but only leaving it til later when he's older and more aware, and god knows when he won't have a cold this winter

my childminder has just informed me that she has a four week placement in march when she won't be working and a SEVEN week placement in September! holy mother of god I'm tearing my hair out at the prospect.

squid thanks for asking but we have to stay two nights at bil's. he lives nearly 2 hours away and my dh rarely sees him and has very little family so is very excited about it. we usually spend Christmas (his choice as well as mine!!) with my family so can't deny him this!

right ds2 seems to be partially suffocating on my boob so better go...

fuck's sake. got my fucking period. stupid fucking body. I'm ebf! it's not fair!

I can use tampons right? I'm 8 weeks pp

Am at people getting periods, this is happening to a couple of girls in my NCT group too. Thought if ebf, no expressing and feeding at least every 6 hours, no period. Is that wrong? Sympathy to you.

Hey hey

Managed 4 hours xmas shopping this morning, yeah! I took the pushchair for once as I'd have stuff to carry. Managed to get almost everything and only had one pitstop for feed and change. I went to the Winter Gardens which are like a covered park with giant trees and sat on a bench... it was very nice actually, she was feeding in quite a settled way... (this is variable)

Still get irrationally annoyed with having a pushchair and navigating shops with steps, etc. God what it must be like to be a wheelchair... Comic shop had no ramp and gave me looks like mums can't buy graphic novels. Oh fuck off.

Watched some carol singers, came home, managed to carry bags and baby and pushchair up the stairs in one go (thank you workouts)... in 4 hours boyfriend finished work for xmas, YES

Londonmrss I got my period at 8 weeks too... didn't use tampons I'm afraid (it was very light and only 3 days and I didn't realise what it was until it was over)... it's fine to use them now, yeah. I was grumpy too (though I realise it's probably because she's sleeping through the night...)

nennehoo Feel your pain on the car, we have a 3-door so I have to climb into the back to put her in her carseat. It is a bit awkward. Ah well we don't use it much and I have an irrational hatred of people who own big cars and live in city centres.

huffle Your house sounds amazing but omg so much stress. I don't know how you do it. I rent and call people if things break.
Nice to hear about another SAHD, I hope he's up to the challenge! Me and boyfriend are both going part time in August... what are other people doing? I think he will be fab as a part time SAHD. My job is much better paid and more of a career so I can't really give it up, but god sometimes I'm tempted. Other times I love it... I dunno. Part time as a hospital doctor is about 35 hours a week, sigh.

midget yay nice to see you
Good luck with party, sounds like hell!!

bella you too!! Your gift to your baby sounds perfect. We are doing something similar - one book for her (chewable) and one for us to mark her first xmas. I refuse to spend lots of money on a 3 month old...

yomping I am off sex too, I think it's to do with body image (which is stupid, as 2 months ago and far more of a train wreck I was desperate for it)

Soooooory for those I've missed, baby crying!

we also had jabs this morning. now she had hardly fed and only slept and cried since. she's not usually a baby who cries much at all. I miss my smiley happy baby