November 2012 - come on stragglers, we're waiting for you

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1622007-November-2012-hurry-up-to-graduate-were-running-out-of-November

vq I hadn't even thought about soph making these deserts! I assume all deserts r bought in supermarkets (usually by the guest who is coming over!)lol. So soph tell us r u making or buying. I suggest buy!

Hi everyone. I can't believe Bronwen is a week old today, all that pain is now a distant memory. She's feeding really well and the midwife came and sorted her latch out yesterday so no more bleeding nipples, yeah!

She was weighed today and I'm a bit upset she has only put on half an ounce, she lost 10oz in the first three days (7%). She's heading back in the right direction, but I expected her to gain more. My first DD gained a whole pound in get first week! I know they're all different but it's hard not to be disappointed.

I haven't stopped crying yet this morning. Crappy hormones. Crappy guilt trips.

I know it's hunger, he is quite obvious with his varying needs! He is feeding the whole time at the breast. He does come off sometimes and you think he is done, but then gets a second (and third!) wind...

Tits that is exactly how I feel.

Am supposed to be leaving house at 130 to attend a cooking session with DS at school. I'm sat here baby attached to boob and not web managed to get dressed or anything yet.

The only times he has had formula has been in the first 2 days he had 2 small feeds when he was screaming at the breast and we couldn't do anything with him at all.

And when we are trying to get out the house on time for something. Which is about 3 times maybe? And I've always expressed at those times.

I do empathise detective as I'm not showered yet, DD was left with a massive turd in her nappy because I was feeding A & I've not hung the washing out yet or loaded the dishwasher, or played with DD. I did put the Asda shopping delivery away, but had to leave DS to fret while I did it. But I have to tell myself it WILL get easier, it does pass, its a few short weeks in his (& DDs) life where I'm just a boob on legs, & its setting him up for life. It is very hard though.

I too have little patience with DH at the mo Tits as he is off at work, sleeping at night whilst I deal with DS at least & the lionshare of DD's care. Plus his fucking stupid pathetic hobby hockey seems to come first all the time, despite me telling him how annoying that is. He's off at training tonight, so has left me car-less & driven to work without checking whether I needed the car. As it happens, I'm waiting for a delivery so not going anywhere but he didn't know that - the delivery could have been this morning & I want to go out this afternoon. He played 2 matches on Sat leaving me exhausted with a permanently attached poorly boy after his tongue tie procedure and a stir-crazy DD, and is playing Sat morning, & then going out for hockey's Christmas do Sat night!!! Ffs, when do I get a break??!!!!!

Oooooops fell asleep on the sofa while Dottie sleeps in her travel cot - was meant to be doing housework - oh well the sparkling house I managed to blitz during my nesting period is looking more like a pig sty and I'm the only one who cares :(

I know that feeling glenda :(

DH came home to hold a screaming J so I could have lunch, a hot cuppa and express. Turned out we also decided to DTD for the 1st time post baby - my cuppa is cold . A sleeping J proved that his nookie-detector is fully operational, so with a backdrop of grumpy grunts and squeaks it wasn't perhaps that romantic! Still glad to know that my bits didn't fall apart and do still work. Ack my sister reads this thread sometimes

I think we might be over the back of this growth spurt and heading toward the sleepy day after. However I bet that statement returns to bite me on the ass....

Two BFing girlfriends are regaling me with their stories to give me moral support - am well impressed with one in particular who went to see the new James Bond film with her 3 month old (not in a matinee) and fed him throughout and he didn't make a peep. I am going to do that once we're past this growth spurt!

detective would it suit you better to just express and mix feed to bring up shortfall if any? Some mums give expressed all the time. You could get into a routine expressing, largely overnight a time that suits. If BF is going to succeed I really think you need to put less pressure on yourself. Can someone else do the school runs, although with organisation you could get in a routine for that, but things like a cooking thing at school, at this stage, I think is not compatible, unless you are willing to feed him there. If I need to be anywhere, I factor in a half hour to ensure he has an opportunity to feed, and if still hungry, he just needs to wait. He often falls asleep in pram or car seat, and I just top up when I can. He seems to cope with this fine when well.

If you stop breast feeding now will you regret it greatly?Will you be able to see that you did a really good job for three weeks or so? Will you be happier and never give it a second thought?

DH suggested I stopped last week as I felt I was broken as I was so tired. My response was a resounding no. I know myself. Failure is not an option in this respect, but that is me. We are all different. Happy mummy = happy baby.

YW excellent link! Read that detective I know you are a MW and know a lot, but this is the first time you have been a breastfeeding mum. As a MH nurse, it was really hard to be a patient, as I know my job, but I was a patient myself, if you know what I mean. The link describes the hell you can expect at 6 weeks, indeed describes breastfeeding very well. If that is something you do not want, could not manage etc, then maybe swapping to formula now is the right choice. Once past that though, it will be a piece of piss! I am almost there, for the third time, like the author, and it has been bloody hard, but so very worth it.

I agree VQ it's different for each woman - for me too I would regret more by stopping and I know from my sister's experience that once I get through this six week barrier it becomes plain sailing (relatively speaking) so I'm just focussed on that target. I'm rubbish enough at forgetting the change mat and wipes from the baby bag - I couldn't handle bottles and sterilising too.

Detective it's up to you and what you'll feel happier - long term with. If the short term relief of stopping is going to make you feel down and guilty in the long term - then persevere. If you really can't cope then formula does exist.

I have to say though that I do hate the saying 'happy mummy, happy baby' - I'd love to give the Christmas bottle of Baileys a good going over and reacquaint myself with Marlboro lights but that's not going to make Jonas a happy baby. It is true to an extent but not a universal truth and I think it's said so much that lots of women give up BFing because everyone else is in the belief that it'll make them happier and that's not the case for everyone.

That just made me cry :( why couldnt I bloody breast feed??!!!

Oh horsey it was not your fault. It was not your fault . Repeat to self 100 times with a big hug too x

And yes when we went out at the weekend to a pals I did indeed forget the mat and wipes. He used this moment to have a poo of farmyard proportions. thankfully we were at a pals who bravely volunteered a towel and donated a pack of wipes

Horsey hugs - did the HV or MW offer any suggestions? It could be related to the trauma of the birth? Having had the wee man screaming and refusing the breast during thrush and this growth spurt I've got a bit more of an inkling as to how horrible it must have been for you - if he'd been like this at the beginning there is no way I would have managed to have the confidence to nurse.

YW I agree too about that phrase and you have explained well. It is so hard though. It is such an emotional minefield. I want to say to everyone who can physically feed to keep at it, but that is frowned upon as pressure to carry on. Horsey however could not feed for a variety of reasons, and I honestly believe her MH was seriously at risk if she had carried on. I would rather a pink and breathing horsey holding a bottle. Pass has also had a horrid time. I so wish women were told the truth before, and supported better. BUT like birth guilt, feeding guilt needs to be put in its place. I think it is because of my birth guilt that I am so pro feeding for me. I could not cope with feeling I had failed twice. Even though I did not fail. It was not my fault! 7 years on and I still have to tell myself that.

gt vq am making!!! Only thing I am making alng with the ham cherry coke.

stunt it's a Nigella special, exactly the same as ham in coke but you simmer in cherry coke instead. Quite tasty, it much effort, much comfort!

thanks for replying sophia. He is a little snuffly alright, and feeding a LOT. I would go for trifle - a lot easier to make!

How are you feeling today Nervous? Is the pain gone?

Vq, if that was a good night, I wouldn't like to see a bad one! Hope your two oldest stay down tonight. I love creche too, I hate weekends as Dp is on days then and I'm home alone with no creche...

YW thats a lovely link. Ive bokmarked it to get me through week 6.

Glenda, sorry about your rubbish morning. Time to lose the head I think!

Pass- rub the bridge of his nose to close his eyes. DS1 used to do it too, I hated it!

thanks for replying sophia. He is a little snuffly alright, and feeding a LOT. I would go for trifle - a lot easier to make!

How are you feeling today Nervous? Is the pain gone?

Vq, if that was a good night, I wouldn't like to see a bad one! Hope your two oldest stay down tonight. I love creche too, I hate weekends as Dp is on days then and I'm home alone with no creche...

YW thats a lovely link. Ive bokmarked it to get me through week 6.

Glenda, sorry about your rubbish morning. Time to lose the head I think!

Pass- rub the bridge of his nose to close his eyes. DS1 used to do it too, I hated it!

YW/Horsey made me cry too and I have no reason to...

Woo Sophia you've inspired me. I couldn't do the puds but I am going to make a nice ham for Boxing Day.

Anyone an app freak? Check the one on this page out for plotting growth spurts and developmental leaps.... looked worth the £1.50 investment. It might provide a boost to my sanity that this growth spurt,and others in the future will pass..... www.essentialbaby.com.au/baby/baby-stages-of-development/the-baby-fog-growth-spurts-and-wonder-weeks-20120416-1x3fw.html

Ok is this nuts but Jonas looks and feels so much bigger - it's like he's grown massively over night. Given I was up for most of the night with him I'm surprised I didn't notice at the time....

As for the first weeks of feeding - my MW and HV gave me wonderful support including terming the first couple of months as the 4th trimester of pregnancy and not pulling their punches in saying it would be harder than the 3rd trimester but that I'd get my life back once we'd established feeding - that the real babymoon will come when Jonas is 2-3 months old and feeding just clicks. Put like that, it's really helped. He is never going to be this small again and never going to do this to me again (thank god!!!!) but he is doing it for a good reason.

Awww on our local news - a Shetland lady has just given birth in the air ambulance helicopter 1000ft up!

freddie Talking of green poos, I have yet to hear a definitive answer. DS has not had any green poo with the bronchiolitis or cold. He only had a little in his first week. DD2 always has green poo if she has a blue slush puppy. Scared the life out of me when it happened.

I am really sorry for those of you who are upsetting about how breastfeeding is going or who have not been able to do it. I was able to do it but chose this time to mix expressed milk and ff and then move to ff little by little, purely because I don't enjoy breastfeeding. When I tried with DD1 I wasn't expecting to dislike, nay, hate it so much. I was convinced that I would ebf for months.

DD1 in the end needed to move to just ff very quickly as I was hospitalised. Even though I was seriously ill I did feel relief that the pressure was off to bf. As I said in earlier threads when several of you, inluding you horsey I think were having a ridiculous number of weigh ins and the hvs were piling on the pressure about feeding, I find it incredibly sad that at what should be such a happy time we are encouraged to beat ourselves up over how we feed our babies when we are so lucky and fortunate to have a real alternative.

You might also be interested to know that in France we don't have pages and pages of threads debating ff vs bf on the forums. No-one over here other than asking if I bf or ff has ever advised me, enouraged me either way. It is just accepted that some will bf, and some will ff, either by choice or necessity, and that it doesn't reflect on your abilities as a mother at all. You might also be interested to know that the vaginal birth vs c section debate doesn't exist either, and that the epidural vs no pain relief debate doesn't exist. I think the fact that literally no-one other than me was bothered that I hadn't enjoyed bfing helped me in my choice this time round.

And when I say no-one I am including the bf counsellor at the hospital where I gave birth. She said she was there to help if I wanted it, as I didn't she moved on to the next patient. No-one here would deny that bf is the ideal food, but no-one bats an eyelid about choosing otherwise. Doctors, friends, randoms in the street, midwives...

YW that's an interesting place of birth to go on the certificate!

YW I read that as a Shetland pony! Poor woman. Map coordinates on birth certificate then. DS seems bigger and heavier the longer I am with him, tiredness I guess. He feels small again when I next see him.

petite very interesting.