October 2012 babies part 2: winding, yawning and grizzling, and first smiles?

[YompingJo]

Part 2: in which our babies learn to sleep through the night and make us tea in the morning

Today can fuck the fuck off, in fact it can fuck off with yesterday as that was shite too.

Baby Loopy has suddenly turned into mega screamy baby but I have no idea why - he's fed, clean nappy, got infacol, doesn't want to be stimulated, doesn't want rocker, doesn't want playmat, won't sleep on or off me, I'm clueless

For those ladies with babies who's dropped a night feed, have you found your babies eat more or more often during the day? I have no idea why he's suddenly become so restless & upset & the only thing that's different is that he's dropped a night feed He's 5 wks, 3 days....

I'm also in mega pain with sciatica & so far the 2 private practitioners I've contacted cannot treat it due to holidays or whatever - wtf? Do people not want to earn any money anymore???

Comforting a baby when you can hardly walk is very difficult

Loopy your post sounds like us about a week ago. Crying without reason, inconsolable. Decided it was a growth spurt as followed few days later with lots of sleeping too. Still bit cross this week but not as bad.

Cannot offer any advice only that hopefully it is temporary and u get normal baby back soon!!

DS just feeds loads during day, had always slept q well at night so I cannot comment on that.

Hope things improve soon, baby and feckin sciatica.

Sorry for u xx

loopy We had a growth spurt at 5.5 weeks too - inconsolable whinging and screaming and feeding for 3 days... like huffle it passed and baby was back to normal afterwards (actually, far more settled and has been since - now 8 weeks)
hope the same thing happens for you

Helloooooo...

Just popping in before gheading to doctors. Madness has engulfed all - so busy! How did I run a house when I had a job?!?

Take care smiley

Sorry to all who are having a hard time, ESP crazy and loopy

Glad things are so much better now, squid!

Bella have you tried giving your bean a dummy? Sorry if that's obvious to pro-second-timer-mummy but it is shockingly effective for Mini Angelico when she has evening wind or just gets that bit overtired. Literally 2 mins of slurping is enough to knock her out some evenings and on a bad evening when she's fiercely windy it's the only thing that consoles her during what would otherwise be a half hour screamathon - feeding her just seems to upset her tum more when shes badly windy so we let the wind through, then feed her. We gave up on Infacol weeks ago when I forgot to give her it a few times and saw no discernable difference. Her wind started improving from around 5-6 weeks anyway and it's only my lentil / houmous eating habits that make it flare up again

By the way in case any of you haven't discovered it there is a very good Sleep Board on MN where you can get good answers to sleep related questions. I got some really useful answers there - have a thread at the minute about the whole 'bean in her own room' thing as she's had a few noisy nights recently and keeps waking me while she sleeps on, grrrr! :)

Oh and someone on my sleep question thread linked to this live webchat with a sleep expert - it's an old MN thread but you might find something useful in it.

October does it make things easier between you, having both been through pregnacy and childirth? I wonder if DH would be a little different if he knew. What a lovely thing to have shared in a relationship.

Off for post-natal check this afternoon and first jabs!

Thats good news Smiley, glad LO is on the mend. Shame about DD though- hope she gets better soon.
I am with Loopy Today can fuck the fuck off. What a shit day. We were supposed to have a family outing today, but then Pippa wouldn't co-operate for her hearing test, so we have to go back next week. Then we had to cancel our midwife 10 day check because we weren't going to make it back in time. So the midwife offered to come to our house instead which was fine, but meant we couldn't go out for lunch or walk the dog like we planned. Pippa decided to poo twice in 5 minutes, and then wanted feeding. Then we went home. The midwife came round and weighed her- now she hasn't put enough weight on- she's only up 50g from her 5 day check, about 140g short of what she should've put on. MW looked at me as if I was starving her, and I feel like a shit, shit parent. LO is latching on fine, feeding fine (believe me, the pooey nappies prove it) and everytime you try and feed her more than she wants she throws it back up everywhere. She feeds every three hours, if not shorter feeds in between. I've been told to express and then an hour after she finishes breast to top her up with 2oz of expressed milk. I don't see the point in force feeding her with more when she clearly doesn't want it. She just throws up and then you have to feed her again because her stomach is empty. ugh :( i feel like this is all my fault. and I just don't know what to do. She was 10lb when she born.

Raaaa. Shit shit day. If anyone has any advice I'd love to hear it. I feel like a failure :[

at everyone. Hope your days are all better than mine!!

Mickey re the weight gain/MW's reactions/slow gain etc - really, honestly please do not worry. The exact same thing happened to me only Quincy had lost 6% of his birth weight and only gained 20g at the next check. I was devastated and felt exactly as you did - we'd had problems in the beginning feeding, I was struggling with latching but please, please remember - check the baby, not the scales. That's what I found after reading a lot about slow weight gain - is your baby producing plenty of wet nappies? Does she have clear urine? Is she producing pooey nappies? Is she bright and alert when awake? If yes - your baby is fine!

You are not doing anything wrong - some babies just take longer to build up weight, breastfed babies take longer than FF babies and again, remember - these are just stupid guidelines that do not apply to the individual baby. Look at your baby, assess your baby as she is, not by how much she weighs. You sound like you are doing an amazing job, and it is so eerily similiar to my experience two weeks ago, I just want to give you a hug.

My MW said things would be "triggered" if Quincy didn't gain weight...this sentence was terrifying to me, was not reassuring and I was told the same thing - to express. But after having so many latching problems, I didn't want to cause nipple confusion. So I just carried on feeding him on his schedule, tried not to cry too much and concentrated on how he was as a baby - weeing, pooing, happy, alert. The MW came back three days later - where he'd gained 140g! At that moment I decided to always, ALWAYS go by how MY baby was - not charts, not percentages, not guidelines and I would not let this stranger with her bloody charts and percentages make me feel like shit ever again.

So Mickey please - don't worry, look at YOUR baby, keep doing what you're doing and she will gain the weight according to her. You already know this, you already see the logic in it being pointless trying to over-feed her. Don't feel like shit :)

Commiserations to those have shitty days. Why is it always that a mega-shit day follows one where you're like "yeah, I might be getting this at last.."

oreniishi i feel totally clueless 90% of the time and like I am not as good a mother as the breezy well-dressed ladies I see with stylish prams. Generally not sure if anything I an doing is right and just carry on unless DH/the internet/GP tells me otherwise. Should I be doing more baby noises/cooing to look like I fit the part? Lol I usually start by saying to DS matter-of-factly "Right then, Mr Baby."

october that is awesome that your DP actually properly gets the pregnancy/childbirth lark! Also means though when grumpy you can't use that lazy retort "you don't understand what it's like..."

OK, we are packed for flying to NZ tomorrow. Stroller bag is possibly the most enormous bit of luggage. First flight is morning tea time. Wish me luck navigating Heathrow & LAX with a 4 week old baby and a 65-year old MIL

DS has given me proper smiles and gurgles/giggles the past two days. One of the best things I've ever seen, melts my heart! So glad he smiled for DH today before we leave him for 3 weeks!

Also GP gave me catsbummouth look today when she checked my stitches then asked if I had thought about contraception. Apparently DH and I roaring with laughter was not the right response....

Zara I salute you and admire you greatly!!!!!! Bon voyage!!! You are brilliant, I often end up in tears packing to visit my mum 12 miles away.......

Have a lovely time!! Xx

Ps, smiles?? We 6 wks, no smiles yet

Oh, i am another obe wishing today woyld fuck off. madam has now been up for 13 and a half hts without a decent sleep, just naps in the sling. every time i put her in her cot she wakes up crying after 10mins. i am knackered after 2 lots of 3 hrs sleep last nite. :-( i hate being tired and unable to settle baby

I am with everyone on today can F off. Much screaming. Much. And DF and I ad a fight last night so I slept v badly, despite mat nurse (most frustrating thing ever?) and have spent the entire day rehashing the fight in my head to work out if he had a point or what. Sigh.

Anyway, just to wave Pom poms at zara you awesome girl. I have only been in the car twice and here is you going across the world. Go you!

Right. She has finally stopped screaming. Now to try to get her to settle in Moses basket. Sigh.

Ps agreed re sling. I think it's always a light nap, not proper sleep. Sadly buggy not poss at the mo due to reflux.

Another one wanting today - and yesterday - to fuck off. GAAAH. Yesterday was officially a Shit Birthday. Yesterday and today DS2 just refused to sleep after about midday. Not exactly happy awake time either The only way to stop him screaming was to bounce him rhythmically in the sling whilst patting his bum. I am absolutely fucked. I bounced him yesterday from midday til after 8pm, and today from midday til 6pm. My legs are fucked and my feet are killing me. I am absolutely hating this And poor DS1 is suffering because I can't give him the attention he needs

Sigh

Mickey I 100% agree with what orenishii said. Ignore scales and go by your baby. Stupid scales.

Smiley so glad DD2 has picked up, gutted DD1 has done the opposite Bloody winter eh. Hope everyone is healthy and happy soon.

bella your birthday message really made me chuckle! Sorry you've had a ruck with your mum. Hope all is ok. I'm totally with you on the ups and downs. On Monday I was sailing through it, wondering why everyone said it was hard having 2 little ones, and wasn't I a wonderful mother and then yesterday and today I was practically planning to bury myself under the patio with absolute despair... And I can so relate to getting impatient with DS1 because of the window of opportunity issue. It's so hard to think rationally and be patient when your baby is screaming; your own baby screaming is a special kind of torture IME.

Yesterday I had a massive, epic, awful, embarrassing and shameful blow-out. It went something like this:

DS2: waaaaaahhhhhhhh (right in my face in the sling. For God knows how long.)
DS1: Mummy, what's this? Mummy, what's that? Mummy, where's my car? Mummy? Mummy? Mummy? Mummy? MUMMY WHERE'S MY CAR? MUMMY??? MUMMY?
DS2: WAAAHHH WAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWAAAAAAAAAHHHH
Me: AAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH EVERYONE QUIIIIIEEEEEET, SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!! (may have kicked a cupboard at this point)
DS1 & 2:
DS2: WAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWHAWHAWHAWHAWAHWAHWAH
DS1: Mummy????? Mummy?????? MUMMY?????
Me: rummaging in cupboard for gin.

I thought things were supposed to be getting easier, not harder. DS2 is 8 weeks tomorrow and he's getting worse and worse, not better........

[sorry for self emoticon]

Hang in there livvy. Fights probably inevitable when you are both so sleep deprived...

I don't know about the sling, if I'm walking she doesn't wake till I stop, and on occasion I walk for many, many hours...

Mickey do you live in Leeds? That sounds just like the shitty advice given to my sister in law last week. She actually is a breast feeding support worker (a volunteer) and her baby hadn't put on the required amount of weight, but was otherwise, alert, happy, latching well, pooing, weeing... she told them to f off, it is crap advice. Expressing will not up your milk supply as well as feeding your baby, and adding formula will diminish your milk supply. If you want to continue breastfeeding, I would stick to what you are doing. You do need to keep an eye on babs' weight and if it continues to be a problem needs to be addressed, but BF babies often put on weight slower than FF ones. They catch up later.

Do you have a breastfeeding support worker you can contact? Midwives/HVs/GPs are not experts in this!! Your midwife should be able to put you in touch with someone... Ask.

I am not a breastfeeding expert but this is what I have picked up. Wantan orange might advise you better....

Things are good in squid household, will not bore you with details!!!

crossposted with crazypaving -
Where is DP? Can you hide in bed with a gin for a little bit this evening?

Yup agreed, today can fuck off. Same as beccus two bouts of three hours' sleep then a whinging Smorglet all day. Combined with a work deadline tomorrow.
Spent over an hour trying to put him down for morning nap then gave up, had one handed lunch then one handed typing up article, scrapped plans for walk because it was so cold and windy, tried to settle him again for ages then gave up, resigned myself to sitting on Swiss ball or sofa all day trying to soothe the Orc at which point he fell asleep on me for an hour. Was so relieved I dared not move.

And DH is at work Christmas meal tonight so am on my own for the evening Might resort to drink.

Cross posted crazy funny how both our thoughts turn to drink!

smorgs, virtual cheers across the web!!

squid, DH is dancing manically around the living room with DS2 as I type. DS2's eyes couldn't be any wider open. Hanging around in case he needs feeding....yawwwwwn.

Another vote for today fucking off, this week in fact. I have some flu/bug thing and have been throwing up. DH works shifts and has a two hour commute so I'm alone a lot of the time (but his sister comes one day a week so I can catch up on sleep). I make sure I go out every day which keeps me sane but DD is 6 weeks old now, surely I should feel better by now?! Keep bursting into tears when im on my own especially when I can't settle her in the evenings, her tetchiest time. End up taking her out in the car which sends her off to sleep but the when I try to transfer her to cot she wakes up and I'm back to square one. DH coming home from work early tonight and taking tmw off as he's v worried about me. I am so scared I have PND, I get so frustrated and feel like a failure. I feel I should be enjoying my baby but the other night I told DH I would rather be at work! Feel like a crap mum and person.

Seeing health visitor on Friday, she comes weekly now as she knows how I've been feeling.

Sorry to go on and on but everyone on here sounds so lovely and it helps to write it down.

Every day is just so different...I veer wildly from thinking, Fonze-like, "yeah, this is cool" to complete and utter bewilderment. Quincy slept five hours last night - 12.30 - 5.30am, which I believe can be classed as sleeping through the night? I have no idea what happened to cause it, so don't expect the same again tonight.

In the nicest way, I'm so glad y'all don't feel like you know what you are doing either

I think also, I'm so shocked that 4 weeks on and I'm still a mess, physically. The effect the birth - and all the interventions - had on my body has really shocked me.

Anyway, much support to all those with grouchy, grumpy-grot babies who are enjoying flexing their vocal chords...keep telling yourself, this is just a phase.

Lots of hugs cheesymonster - I have no advice, only words of comfort that the one thing I've learnt is there is no "supposed to have X,Y,Z by now". Just a series of learning curves, adjustments, wins and losses, and more adjustments :) But one thing is for sure - you are not a failure, you're not alone with evenings being the tetchiest time - it will get better, all of it.

So all round then?!!

crazy your convo made me laugh, sorry

Wow Zara that's impressive!!

cheesy I feel the same as you and have also expressed a desire to go back to work - what the hell was I thinking having a baby??? I'm not sure if I have symptoms of PND or if I'm just exhausted/in pain from sciatica/have 'new mum' anxiety But hang in there, you're doing the very best you can.