November 2012 - babies are here at last

[StuntNun]

This is the post-natal club for graduates of the November 2012 intake.

The joy of having a front door, means you are at will to ignore it

Never done that, ever

I guess parents always fear social services involvement. I know that would not apply in this case, but new parents feel vulnerable and trust the professionals usually. How are you anyway detective ? Happy belated birthday. I read as far as it not being as good as it could have been, but I cannot keep up with the thread.

madame two ladies on my ward wanted to go home after 24 hours, and were told they would have to sign a form to say they were going home against medical advice. I felt better this time than last time, but on retrospect wish I had stayed in longer. It is horrid being torn between your own needs and your other children, just horrid. It sounds as if you are being sensible. I was a bit silly doing washing and housework and cooking. I am paying the price now.

Am chillin....

I know that feeling - I had visions of not only that, but being struck off as a midwife for some of the things in my birth plan.

I really had to focus on my rational brain, and know that I am doing the right things for me and my baby. And that we still have freedom of choice just in this country. Even if others would like you to think otherwise.

The way I see it is that everything is offered to you - you are always at liberty to say no. It is easier to decline something than it is to get someone to agree to do something - in the NHS anyway!

And how could anyone justify referring someone to social services for refusing weighing - imagine! It would be a) a colossal waste of time and b) laughed at as a referral I would imagine! I know that doesn't stop you worrying - as I'm always there with the worry too!

I had social services turn up at my door because my child wasn't registered at a local school! No, you fucking numbnuts, he goes to a school in the next fucking authority! If you bothered to check... not all kids go to school in the same authority as they live in! I was also in a new relationship at the time and we got woken out of bed by the bastards knocking at the door... try explaining that one to your new flame

You aren't belated btw - birthday is today ;) I can't keep up with 2 threads either! And I don't have a baby keeping me busy yet - kudos to even try!

He has gained 5g! Enough for them to be happy for me to continue ebf. they will be back on Weds and continue to visit until he is back to his birth weight. But I am very pleased and relieved.

Happy birthday, Detective.

Happy birthday detective

I'm glad your happier blonder :)

Damn phone posted to soon

... And your LO is gaining weight

Funny how there is absolutely no pressure to breast feed your baby, but immense pressure to formula feed them. As said previously, in pregnancy we are told 'breast is best' and 'there will be support for you', and to avoid expressing, bottles and dummies until breastfeeding is established, then the first hint of a problem, even when there is clearly no problem, bloody formula is the answer. I am guessing there are targets to be met for women attempting breast feeding, and once they are met, that is it. Very rarely are women told just how hard it is, or can be.

Sorry blonder great news! Keep it up, you are doing fab!

Agreed vq. I have to say that there doesn't seem to be more actual support now than when my eldest was born 13 yrs ago. If it hadn't been for my MIL, I'd have given up within a fortnight back then.
My local maternity unit is wallpapered with posters that verge on emotional blackmail, pushing bf over formula. Fat lot of good that does new mothers when the midwives then do an about-face and push formula instead

Well done blonder, a result indeed :)

I'm about to throw the towel in with bf. I'm sick of being made to feel like a crap parent because Im struggling to establish it.

My boobs are killing from expressing three hourly, nothing is coming out. I'm getting in such a state about it and the mw today didn't help. I'm a human, with a life and a new child. I am not sitting about all day every day with my boobs out and naked pumping, cuddling and still ff.

This is not the life I'm having.

Good news is after his mammoth feeding sessions yesterday, he's put on 100g and is 100g off his birth weight at day 8.

horsey makes sense. You have tried so hard. I do hope you can begin to really enjoy your beautiful boy now, and can heal too. Excellent weight gain!

Talking of weight gain, has anyone been near the scales yet?

Thank vq. I want to speak to the lady tomorrow and know I've explored all options including nipple shields and cranial oestopathy.

My milk supply is so dependant on how I feel. I feel awful feeling this way but I'm on a stupid cycle ATM and I've got great respect for anyone who expresses and feeds via bottle and who makes enough. I've followed their advice, its not working and I'm in pain.

As I said, I plan to give him as much breast milk as possible, im not currently making enough. Maybe tired from pumping so much and feeling so shit about it.

Were having cuddles ATM which is lovely. This is what it should be about not bloody well monitoring everything!!

Yes hit the scales, lost about a stone. Not wearing maternity tops now, back in normal tops!!! Yay!!!! More choice!!! Normal trousers on today!! Jeans not quite there yet, but close!!

Good for you horsey. You and Etienne should be getting to know each other and bonding, and you deserve some time to do that without feeling desperate about the bf. What he needs more than anything is a calm and happy you- everything else is secondary

Not feeling like looking at the scales yet vq! Will do, once my stomach has properly reduced. It's almost there, but there's def a bit of the recently post-natal about it at the moment. I think I've probably lost near enough 2 stones, but since I put on over 3 while pregnant, I'm still a little rounder than I would like :)

I came home weighing more due to swelling but have peed out a lot. Currently 3lb over pre-pg weight and expect to lose another 1/2 stone as still very swollen.

Horsey please do whatever you feel is best for you and Etienne. There is a lot of talk on here about women being pressured into giving formula but there is also a pressure to bf. You have been trying for long enough to know what is working best for you and you are exploring your options. The most important thing is to do what's best for your mental and physical health and do not feel guilty for whatever decision you come to. Everything is stressful for you at the moment because you have a newborn but you will be making decisions for him for his whole childhood, just make the best decision you can in the information you have now.

VQ I'm sorry to hear you're another one getting bullied but well done for standing up to them. I have been discussing this with my mum and she reckons people are overstepping their bounds, there's no way a week old baby needs to have been weighed four times. I'm hoping I'll get out of the hospital quick when my time comes, before they can start in on me.

Ds will have been weighed 5 times by day 10. My thoughts are if I was ebf I'd be advised to top up. You can't win.

Seriously eye opening this having a baby lark!!

Horsey you are absolutely right, this time should be about cuddles, love and bonding- not stress and discomfort. I said to DH this morning if it weren't for the weight issue I would be so happy right now, I love having my baby at home, caring for him and introducing him to people. It is amazing how much more relaxed I have been this afternoon since the mw came, I'm happy to let him sleep or rest, not obsessively trying to get food into him. I can see that he is happy and healthy, not a list of boxes to be ticked.

Please make whatever decision is right for you and focus on the enjoyment you are obviously getting from motherhood.

I weighed myself just to see what I'd lost from the birth. I'd put on just over a stone and am now a few lbs over my start weight, however I am also quite swollen so hopefully it will go down soon. I am not too bothered as I didn't exactly have a great figure to start with so no jeans to fit into. I am hoping once these early weeks are over to lose some weight though, I want to be healthy and fit to run around after my child!

I was just looking at the WHO guidelines and they tentatively suggest six growth assessments in the first two years. So some of you don't need to get your baby weighed again until after their second birthday. I asked my mum (the HV) how many babies in her care had died of malnutrition in their first week and funnily enough she said none and she had never heard of any.

Here once out of hospital the next medical visit and therefore weigh in is at 5-8 weeks. Then at 3 and 6 months, and thereafter at the routine immunisation appointments. I promised the hospital LO would be weighed again this week but I haven't seen the need. She looks fine, seems to be thriving, lots of wet nappies. So I'm taking the decision, as mum, to leave it til her 5 to 8 week appointment. If she seems ill before I will take her in.

There is a lot to be said for the mw hv care you have there, but it seems to create as much stress as it relieves. We know our babies and it seems that you are being encouraged to rely on numbers rather than instinct and common sense, which undermines you as mums.

stunt if it weren't such an emotional issue, your post would be quite funny.

I am hoping the health visitor is a bit more realistic about things.

With the girls I never had them weighted except at immunisation time.

Good news blonder. This weighing thing does seem a bit ludicrous. Even in nicu they were only weighed twice a week
Gt l think it?s wind cos he is making high pitched squeaks or grunting and straining a while after feeding and drawing legs to tummy when crying.
Never weigh myself but l think l?ve put weight on the last few weeks. l wasn?t allowed food/drink the 24 hours before and after birth and after that l actually had cheek bones for a bit, but back to being ?cuddly? now.
What l clearly am loosing is brain cells. Bumped into someone l haven?t seen since summer while carrying LO in moby wrap. She asked me if he was a boy or girl and l said girl

Oh and meant to say horsey whatever decision you make will be right for you and your little one, so don?t let it overshadow tbis time (which with hindsight will seem very brief).

Happy birthday detective!

Happy birthday decective.

Does anyone know when our hormones get back to normal?, one minute I hate DP the next, I want to hug him.
I have not lost any weight! Yes by belly has gone, but that's it. I'd love to have my energy back, I miss doing loads of things and my exercise.
Evil