November 05 Babies, they're on a roll......

[Busyalexsmummy]

Here, thats better!

Happy Mother's Day everyone! . Hope you are all enjoying nice lie-ins, and munching on chocs and the like. I've got the chocs, but no lie-in (in fact DH is having one , but this is being added to my mental list of favours owed .
LOL BEAR with how you think I look!; yes, the name is hardly saying sex kitten or supermodel (not, I must stress, that I fit into any of these categories!!!!). Hmmm, I have been giving some thought to your feeding dielemma at wedding. I would personally go for the option of feeding early (ie. 1.45, and 6.15), just so you don't have it hanging over you at service and reception. For that day I would start morning feeds earlier too (say, 6.30 and 10.15) just so you know ds will be hungry later on. You could of course put them back, but then worry of crying for feeds. If you choose the second option, I would start feeds later in morning (ie. first feed at 8, next at 12, then at 3.30, then at 6.45 (which would mean feeding in reception). I would def, do it all earlier I think. Re: dress situation, could you take one of those wrap things (pashimas?)or something that coordinates your dress, then you could feed at reception without feeling awkward?
Well, dd2 is driving me MAD, hopefully related to end 0f illness whinginess, and not another 'stage'...
Speak later, and enjoy your pampering
Diege .

Hi, Happy Mother's Day hope you've all had lovely days and been spoilt rotten.

Double whammy for me today as its also my birthday!!! Have now entered the final year of twenties so obviously is my last birthday!!! have had a lovely day at my mums sunday roast cooked by men for us mums!! Have had some lovely pressies to inclusing a day a a health spa for me and my friend!!

Anyway off now as kids in bed and wan to chill for a bit. Speak soon xxx

wow, I guess everyone is having the day off today? Just me all here by my lonesome, although my darling munchie did get me some flowers - what a clever baby .

Think I might have gotten away with the clocks changing, put her to bed at the new 7pm and so far so good...

I can bring the stuff with me to the meet up, it's all quite small so shouldn't take up too much space in bags etc..

More police helicopters flying over the house, we get this every weekend, thankfully Natalie sleeps through it.

Went to a truly awful party hosted by the Portland at kensington town hall today. I walked in, did one circuit, then walked straight back out again! They need to hire different party planners.

How much sleep does everyone else's baby have? Natalie seems to need so much and is getting really grumpy in the afternoons because she's not having enough.

Managed a web cam conversation with DH yesterday . He's been to Gap and out of all the lovely things he could have chosen for the summer he got a denim jacket and a pair of jeans. She already has two pairs, and they'll probably be too warm for the summer (rolls eyes).

Pampering...???? I had to cook two meals today - the first for 7 people and the second for 15 people . At the end of the evening tonight I lamely said to DH, 'you know mothers are supposed to do nothing on Mother's Day'. Oh, well I guess Caleb doesn't know any better and DH has never been a father b4 and didn't have a very good family example to grow up in

Diege - thanks for the advice on feeding. The only prob is that I have to go with bride in the bridal car, and Caleb will have to go with DH, and I should imagine we would leave for the service at 1.45 so would be unable to feed then Maybe I need to try and get a better idea of timings. The only trouble is if I let them know I'm looking at other options, then it might seem worse if I do actually end up going out during the service IYKWIM. Also if I fed later in the morning I don't know if that'd work cos he gets pretty grouchy if I don't feed him at 7am.

Happy Birthday L&SMum - it must be nice to be cooked for! Did they do a good job of the roast?!

Nova at no DH. Did you tell him to take them back and get other stuff? Caleb sleeps 7-7 at night and then 2.5-3hrs naps in the day. But he usually wakes up at 6am for a while and gurgles. I do have to try and distribute his naps so he doesn't get to grumpy - but am finding it hard. When I did a short morning nap he went to sleep in his 11am feed and when I did a short lunchtime nap he went to sleep in his 2.30 feed, so I am trying with distributing them a bit more evenly - i find daytime naps quite a struggle to get to where he's contented!

Hi everyone!. Glad you had a lovely day L&Smum; you do know your 30s are the new 20s don't you! (not that you need to know till next year of course, if then !).
NOVA: hmm, yes jeans in the summer; I have 2 pairs for libs too, and infact she was hot in a pair I had on her today! Bet Nat will look cute anyway , think you can get away with the 'double denim' thing with babies . I remember in summer with dds putting them in cute little romper suits, with cardies for cooler days, and matching bonnets . My little dollies in their double buggy!
So tell us what the probs were with the Portland party then ? (nosy aren't I!). I wouldn't worry about Nat having too much sleep in day, unless she's unsettled at night. Libby has about 3 and a half to 4 hours in the day, or else falls asleep at feed time. Make the most of it ...wait till she's older and drops the naps!
BEAR: yes, see what you mean about feed times. Could you introduce a bottle of expressed milk? Know it may be more trouble than it's worth, but then DH could give it? Some babies do take to it straight away, though many struggle. I remember women at nursery having to feed dd1 with a spoon as she refused the teat point blank!. Maybe you will just have to leave service to feed after all, difficult one.
Right, bed for me!
Diege

Hope everyone has enjoyed their day. Wanted to talk to you all about something.

An opportunity to work in London has come up. The job is a very demanding one, I can say that with a voice of experience as I've been doing it for the last three years. Anyway, I ran it by DH thinking he wouldn't even contemplate the idea but to my absolute surprise he wanted to discuss it with me and even toyed with the idea of giving up his work (he is self-employed) to go and work for a firm so that I can go for this job!
My thoughts are this; If I go back to work, especially a job as demanding as this one, I miss out a lot where DS is concerned and of course, no way I'll be TTC NO.2. I'll be spending most of the day outside of the home and will also be working to some extent in house too. The job is also v.stressful & DH has to be as supportive as he was before DS. No stress on meals, cleaning, entertaining etc. We will have to look for extra help.
On the plus side, the salary is good, would help us a lot as at the moment being a SAHM is a pure luxury - DH has bills coming out of his ears and I feel really sorry for him. I get my independence back (but do i really want it now that i'm so in love with my LO) and it's a fresh start elsewhere. DH is prepared to move although I've told him it's best I commute for the first few months to ensure that i'm happy there etc.. (again he agreed much to my surprise) and if i'm still there in a few years time DS will have a placement (it's a school) there and that will be easy on the bank balance too!

Anyone been there, done that? Any ideas? I'm really, really anxious. It's a big step.

Must get to bed. The dishwasher can wait. x

Morning everyone . Have woken up with a stinking cold, but hey, at least dd2 is back at nursery ; feeling much better, and ready to show the teachers her party bag spoils!
CHACHA: MMM, lots to thibk about with your dilemma. I would say that you have to go with your gut feeling on this - forget about the ifs and buts, and think do you really want to do this job? . I can only give an opinion from my own perspective. I went back to work full-time when dds were 4/5 months, though I did have one day 'working from home' when I kept them at home (no work was ever done, and I had to catch up when they were in bed!). For me, and others will feel differently, much as I loved being at home with dds, I did need to get back to work for my own sense of worth, independence, and dare I say it, the money! I think dds had a better mum for me being happy, motivated etc, rather than rsentfully dragging them round cafes and shops all day (which I would have done - can only sustain the toddler play for so long ). YOu also have support of DH, which goes such a long way to making things work, and hey, if it all turns pear shape, you could go back to things as they are now? Could you even put in an application to work flexibly (and maybe DH could too) so that you both have less time away from home, but still get decent wages/work-life balance? I'd say, and this is from experience, that unless you feel you've really made the right decision (and this feeling may come after a trial month say) you will always wonder 'what if', and maybe feel you have missed out on things either way.At the same time, remember that if take the job, you will have to sacrifice certain things, maybe missing first steps etc, and think about how you would deal with this. Maybe think about where you want to be in 10 years from now - would the job opp come up again?
Just some thoughts from me...I'm sure you've been through most of these already! Take care,
Diege

ChaCha - agree with everything Diege has said, and everything I say is just repeating.

All depends on how much you want this job, and if you think this opportunity will come up again?

But - you can't have it all, it is a myth, and you will miss out on lots of small and some big milestones in LO development.

And I won't even mention how guilty/sad you will feel some days at work because you are away from your baby, maybe even because you might actually like being at work, and then you will feel even more guilty/sad!

Personally, and this is just me, I am of the 'nothing ventured, nothing gained' school, and, as Diege said, if you don't like it you can go back to being a SAHM.

Hello,

Gosh, haven't time to catch up right now, but ChaCha saw your post and must say I really feel for you, that's a dilemma and a half isn't it hon? The thing is you could do it couldn't you so as you say it's weighing up how you feel about leaving ds during the week days. I have no experience of leaving my kids when they were babies to go to work, so can't tell you how that feels. Listening to other mums over the years I have noticed that the 'happiest' mums have often been the ones that work max of 4 days per week and more often than not take Fridays off to make a 3 day weekend... I think it's a really great thing that your dh is being so supportive, and also really good that you're asking around like this as often hearing others opinions can really help you know your own mind. It's a huge decision isn't it, but such an exciting proposition? Whatever you decide to do, even if it's to change nothing, you will have been so empowered by this massive life choice, wow, congratulations ChaCha.

Hi everyone...
belated happy mothers day!

chacha ..what a dilemma! is there any chance of arranging a job share? or flexible working as diege suggested?
big congratulations anyway! must be a real confidence boost.

I have no idea when to return to work..or what to do..trying not to think about it as things are fine as they are for the time being.

londoner- have you and tex arranged to go to the cinema on friday? i'd love to join you if so..

we had a lovely day yesterday..strolled in the park..until it rained, then stocked up on lovely things at the farmers market on the way home.
then we watched roman polanskis 'oliver twist' and 'sideways' which inspired us to crack open a nice bottle of wine and smoked cheese..yummmmm

nova ..lol at the jeans..men do that don't they! go for whats cute over whats practical
dp bought O a shirt..and I was horrified to find it's dry clean only..pah!

best get bck to my sorting..i was watching 'anthea' at 1am last night and ended up tipping all my various mke up and beauty gunk products into a huge box..i'll be ruthlssly throwing away manky stuff, and neatly orgnising the rest..lol

oooh..and very pleased..

we dropped some stuff at oxfam and dp found a thomas pink shirt, still tagged, marked at £1.50..and i got a brand new pair of nine west ballet shoes at £8..we gave them £20 for the lot and still felt like we were robbing them..lol

was also amused to see they had at least 10 copies of the latest gina ford book...guess lots of people ran out of patience!

Chacha - my guess is you want to take the job, otherwise you wouldn't be contemplating it? I'm with the others, nothing ventured nothing gained, if you don't like the situation you can always change it back again. Would it be starting in Sept, that way Z will be a bit older? Be good to get him a place at (I assume) a private school. Which one is it? (West London I would guess if you are commuting from Oxford).

Diege - the party was £20 for adults with children going free. When you walked in you went straight into a room of very unfriendly round tables set up with leaflets for the Portland (you'd think we wouldn't really need them as to go you had to have had your baby there!) Then you went through into the other room and there was a photographer set up in a really small cramped corner, a couple of soft play areas, a face painter, a really naff arts and craft table, and a dodgy magaician. In the table area was a buffet/sandwich/bar area (pre-packed sarnies and a couple of bottles of wine on a table) which we had to PAY for, with free lunch for children (but NOTHING for babies). There was no-one around to welcome you/talk to you. I was expecting to get some good freebies as thought lots of companies would try to get in there with the rich people (lol!) All in all very disappointing. I took the opportunity of being in kensington to buy some nice food from M&S though so it wasn't a total disaster .

Spent the rest of the day in my jammies and made a really lovely fish dish for dinner - yummy.

BoB - You only have to worry when you start folding your towels Anthea style and buying baskets & labelling them for every crevice in sight!

Thank you for the words of wisdom. I'm glad I asked. I'm going to sit down with DH tonight and weigh up all our options again. I can't believe how nervous I feel. Well, off to enjoy a day of housework, washing and DH's paperwork!! Shame that doesn't pay as much, I'd be entitled to overtime and plenty of bonuses :)

good luck chacha..sounds like you are very aware of all the ins and outs of each option which is the best place to start!

in the guardian on saturdy it said a s.a.h.m does work equating to a £34'000 salary in london..eek!

nbova- sounds dire! lol..i was going to go to the portland open day..as next baby will not be born in an nhs hospital! mybe just rquest brochure instead..hehee

i'd be intersted to know how many of you would go for a home birth next time? especially those who will be having their second child.
i know londoners experience was amazing which is very inspiring..

X posts Nova.

Yes Nova, you are right, I do want to take the job and if I didn't have a baby I'd have gone yesterday. It's a big step for me and it comes down to earning money and being independent while sacrificing time away from my baby. I just don't know if i can do it. It's not just a teaching post, there's a lot more involved. Fortunately though, this school is already registered with Ofsted :-) Getting a small, independent school registered is hard work.
You are right, we are talking West London. Would involve train and tube(s) x

no - go to the open day BoB, we were really glad we had a look around before we went. It's just parties they're no good at.

Can you believe one of the December mums is pregnant!

[must get off PC]

WoW! That's amazing! So there'd be a year between them. Nice.

actually might be a bit less than a year as she had her first one on 6th Jan and

Why ? Are you TTC Nova!?!

are you..are you!? eeek
how exciting
i remember you sying you'd wait til dp got bck from u.s.a...hmm!?

me and Dp would love to try soon...but we fel our circumstnces aren't idealat the moment..real shame as i don't want too big a gap (theres 5 between me and my bro..and 15 betwen me and my sister!)

LOL Nova at the 'party' !!20 quid for a few butties . Sounds like you made the best of it though . You must SHARE everything about your imminent conception BTW, we need to know DETAILS; you could even do a pregnancy test online .
Met a women today who has 5 kids, 4 girls and a boy, including a set of twins; made me think. To be perfectly honest, I can't see Libby being my last (she says trying to block out screaming from upstairs - Libby's not read her Gina again!), but it would certainly be 3 or 4 years before having another (that's if my eggs donlt give out before then!).
CHACHA: glad we've been some help to you...sounds like you'll reach the right decision for you, though scary I agree. As someone once said, 'scary is good, it means you're living!' .
Wow BOB, £34, 000; I'll take the job! oh, I've got it already! It always makes me laugh when people think I have it hard working outside the home - I get paid, have a lunch break, get holidays, have sick leave, and have relatively fixed hours!! It's a doddle to staying at home
Right, can't ignore the crying any longer
Speak later,
Diege

lol..and nova..for some reason the mention of pying for wine made me remeber me and dp on my b'day outing

we were clueless..ordered drinks for the interval on the way in..then queued at a bar for 20 mins to be told they were sitting on a shelf behind us along with all other preorered drinks...and we would have known this how!?

we paid £18.30 for the two (smll glasss)..and as we found them the bell rang so we had to decant into plastic beakers to tke to our seats..then got sneered at by the mericn lady sitting next to me ..i quote..'the smell of alcohol makes me want to puke..how inapproprite for the theatre'

ha..on the way in i had romantic visions of sipping it in the intermission, in the chandeliered gllery while all the 'gentile folks' lahdidhed around.....

hehe..t least next tim i'l be 'in the know'

Chacha - I went back to work commuting 3hrs a day after ds1 was 7mo. My job is v stressful and although I worked part time (3d) I did end up doing work on the days off. However it was the right thing for me at the time and I loved the adult chat, brain exercise and being me. I am now going to delay going back after DD as it does not feel quite right yet and DH job is now v stressful too and he is away alot more so I will not have the same level of support. I'd say your desire for the work and the support at home are the key things - happy mummy = happy baby - Good luck

On TTC I'm not finished yet I hope but want another 2 yr gap so will wait a while yet. But need to fit them in before the big 40 so no time for error!!! Met a woman with 3 boys under 3 the other day - now thats hard work
cheers

Hi all, sorry can't catch up properly, on skimming notice Bob and Tex might be up for cinema, sounds good, not sure what's on but may be going if my dh can take our ds1 to an appointment, we'll see. Not sure what's playing, but I'll be there if I can. Also, Beartime, great, will CAT you so you'll have my email and then we can organise liaison for April meet.......

lol BoB, I have to wait for DH to get back from the states I can't TTC on my own . By the time we get around to starting Nat will be 6 months, which is fine by me, bearing in mind that it took 8 months to conceive her.

And of course I'll share everything