Dec 08 Mums - still biffing on

[LadyThompson]

Yes, yes, it's a bit lame. I wanted to say: "Still fucking on!" but wary of causing offence....

I know 'biffing' is a bit PG Wodehouse, as well. You'll just have to humour me

Beans, I think the email you sent was good. I need to learn to be more like that. I'd have sent the first one in my rage and then regretted it probably. I hope she sees sense and follows your advice. Well done on the potty training too! I need to thanks you as after I was really strict with DD listening to your sleep lady advice, she seems to sleep pretty good now and she gets no milk no matter what at all after 7pm - just has water next to her bed. it was a really really hard slog and took longer than I thought (and I often do the cold turkey thing) but worth it.

Obe I meant to say I'm glad you were looked after well on the way over to the US, I have a much better appreciation for parents flying with kids now I have them myself. Hope you had a fab time.

Jam sounds like you had a great time on your dirty weekend!

Kiwi, ML is hard! Little babies are hard! It's much harder than swanning around the Olympic stadium! speaking of which, I quite enjoyed the closing ceremony, in a music concert kind of way! My friend was in it (but one of the crappest bits it's say!) he was in the fashion bit walking right behind Naomi and kept sending updates etc, and a vid of her getting ready! (after it of course)

On the smacking - someone said it'd be a lie if we said never but I honestly can say I don't think I've ever smacked although I have grabbed him on the arm so hard and practically cut off circulation and a few things like that etc etc which is probably much worse!

Vag, well done on the free mag!
it's a long story about sil. Her and I get on fine really - well it's slightly fake at times as she has made several comments over the years that have really upset me but I have let slide (odd for me) but I haven't wanted to make it hard for dh as if I kicked off - she would too and it would blow up. This time, basically we had a nice night staying at a pub they work at and although at dinner, but barely saw them as they were working and we left the following day. Got home and wrote a lovely FB message to thank them for the lovely weekend and said it was all perfect etc - got nothing in reply. About a week later I notice I'm no longer their FB 'Friend'! No message, no call, just no idea at all why and that was the worst part. Thought about it for ages and decided there is no way it could be about DS running through the pub in just PJ top nor could it be dh confirming he wanted a latte to the waitress who thought he was having a dig at her accent (not a chance massive misunderstanding) and the only thing I can come up with is she has perhaps noticed that dh's dad is on my FB (I accepted about 2 months ago after much thought as it's a massive family divide) Thing is - if this IS the reason, I would understand (sort of) if she had of messaged me about it first. Other thing is, there are privacy settings for this exact reason! And furthermore, I have not and would not have ever put a single photo of her or any other family on there who I know wouldn't want it. So, I have not heard a word since except asked other family if any clue and they have said no

How odd Rubes.

I think it was me who said people are lying about smacking. I think I meant more you are lying if you say you have never lost it with your child and done something you regret be it saying something you shouldn't or handling them in a way you shouldn't. Goodness but children are experts at pressing all the wrong buttons at times.

I swear at the moment dd is asking to be murdered. Nothing I can do for her is right. If I pay for them to go on the merrygoround she tantrums because I won't let her have an icecream. If we go to the park she wants to be at home. If we stay home she wants to go out.

Oh and she doesn't love me she only loves her daddy and her brothers and all her cousins. But not me. Thanks dd.

She will love me again when she is back at nursery . I always get a big hug and "mummy! I missed you! And then you came to pick me up!" after nursery.

I have lurgy. Urgh. Dh the absolute love took the dcs to the park for 45 mins between phone calls. He was on the verge of taking some time off I think this morning (and he has never, ever taken time off work to look after dcs when I've been ill. NEVER) but had unavoidable meetings and by the time those were done I had managed not to expire completely. Dcs have done a fair job of playing indoors really and not too much longer to go now! I have defrosted some milk and put it in the fridge for dh so once he finishes work I can go straight for a nap no matter when I last fed ds2.

hi ladies :)
Just a quick hello from me. I'm back from a lovely holiday in Cornwall and now back to packing my life into boxes. How is it that however many boxes we pack, there is still an entire houseful of stuff left? Still no date but we reckon end of the week or next monday. I'm so inpatient to move now!
Re toilet stuff, P is basicallay dry in the day but does have damp pants because she never goes until she's about to pee - and often already starts to pee before she gets there. And we haven't even attempted night times yet because she wakes every morning with a really heavy nappy. Although, bizarrely, when Lucy and I were away, DH ran out of nappies (!) so put her to bed one night without one and she woke up for a wee and then slept till morning without wetting the bed! How odd. Her sleep is still exhausting me - she wakes up about 3 times a night and wants me to lie in bed with her or hold her hand. I'm sure it's all my own doing but so hard to break. And in the day she is mega mega mega clingy - won't leave my side at all and cries of I go to the loo! I hope it's just a phase. DH is finding it a bit hard that she is so reluctant to go to him.
Anyway, must go,
see you soon xxx

Rubes, so glad that sleep expert's advice helped you. Trace - could you do the ignoring thing? It would be a couple of tough weeks, but it might make your life a lot better in the long run? I can give you her number if you'd like? She's £15 for a phone consultation, which is pretty cheap and she seemed really down to earth and normal, which I liked. this is her

Indith - DD1 keeps asking me to go to prison so daddy can look after them the whole time. Little sh*t. She'd be lost without me! Where's the gratitude eh?

Saw the lovely Sybs today - what a treat it was. And her lovely littles. They are just gorgeous.

Am off to see M&D on Thursday, which will be nice. Even staying the night!!!!! HA! After all I've said about my sister! Hahahahah!

Dad sadly not coming to North Wales with us next week. His leg is too sore and he wouldn't be able to walk down to the beach. Or, in fact anywhere really. He says he finds it agony to walk much further than 100yds. Poor poor Dad. But he's keeping his chin up. They had a lunch party on Sunday and someone asked Mum if she was ok and if there was anything they could do for her and she said she started crying. Poor Mum! She's so stoic and just gets on with it always, but she's clearly really struggling. She's just so bad at receiving love!

Right, I must go now and look after my nippers. Caught DD2 starting to do a wee in her booster seat at supper. She did say she was doing one, so I whisked her to the loo!

Prison Beans? Delightful. Reminds me of the time ds1 threatened to, stab me in my bed. Where do they get it?

My immune system is also missing. If found please return.

Last night was shaping up to be quite good really, ds2 was sleeping quite soundl between feeds and at 3am was settled into a good stretch. Then ds1 came in having lost his doudou and dh replied with a very loud and enthusiastic "Oh dear let's go find him" and woke the baby up. Fed him back to sleep quickly but he did a huge poo. Change of nappy and clothes and he was very awake. An hour later I just have him back to sleep, I kick dh who is snoring and he sits up and yells at me and wakes the bloody baby up again. argh!

My baby is being grizzly. I feel like poo. My house belongs on how clean is your house because I've been unwell so nothing has been done. I'm going to have to stir myself.

Hello ladies! Was at Mum's all last week then vv busy weekend - party, then some friends to stay who are shortly getting posted to Canberra for 4 whole years...Will be finding some time later to do a catch up, have been lurking a bit.

I now have a bit of period pain and backache so I will have to sit down for a bit this morning anyway. Back in an hour or two.

Oh dear Lady, my thoughts are with your friends.

Indith, so where will DH be sleeping tonight, doghouse maybe? Sorry your feeling so rough, not fun. I feel your pain on the house thing. Nearly 6 weeks of school holidays has taken its toll on our house, it needs a deep deep clean.

Well good news for teamVag, my latest strict diet & bootcamp program has shown results. In just one week I've gone from 71.5kg to 70.1! Yay. I'm a smidge away from being within normal weight for height. Yay, yay. I'm slightly disappointed that all the push ups & circuit training has made me resemble Jess Ennis, but baby steps :-)

Oh god. Anyone point me in the direction of a good early waking thread? DD2 now getting up at 4.45 and takes me an hour of feeding her (and trying to get her back to sleep and failing) before she will not be grumpy. She is clearly therefore still tired but WIlL NOT SLEEP aghhhh

Any suggestions welcome. Literally, any.
Am prepared to consider anything (eyes Sellotape and baby straight jacket)

Ugh kiwi that is pants.

The curse of knobby husbands strike again. Yesterday had an awful headache vom thing. Felt rubbish. But had plans with the boys to see my DSIS and niece took a few mins throughout the day to feel a bit shit but carried on today DH seems to have the same thing. So has taken the day off work and is in bed. how come he gets to lie down on a darkened rm but I have to carry on as normal. Not fair!

Because he is so much more ill than you , Jam! I'm surprised you can't see that! Poor you, sounds miserable. Hope you are feeling better today.

Am pisssed off with my husband for giving me the silent treatment because I am going out tonight and tomorrow! Am also cross with work for trying to change things after hey have been agreed. We are all a bunch of lawyers so it shouldt surprise them that you can't do that. Hey oh, I dont mind a fight.

Picnic with friends in the park today. Hurray!

Hope you ar well.

Next time the husbands are ill we should just go out and leave them with the dcs all day. After all that is what they do to us when they go off to work and we are ill isn't it?

Of to a National Trust place today with some other MNers so got to make a picnic this morning.

I'm sure I cleaned the kitchen and bathroom yesterday but the place still looks trashed. I can't wait for school to start!

Congrats on the weight loss Vag

Lady you need to slow down and spend more time on t'interwebs .

My baby seems to be jsut about starting to remember how to fall asleep again. Woohoo! Doubt it will last. He did a poo way too early this morning though and got up for the day. Urgh.

Yes, Indith, I do I fully meant to sit down yesterday and ended up doing...heaven knows what all day. Have a lovely picnic, that sounds nice.

I think The Commune beckons again Although DP is actually being good at the moment.

Back later AND I REALLY MEAN IT THIS TIME...so much to catch up on.

Marking my place for catching up this afternoon!

Hello everyone,

Finally caught up. Phew!

I'm relieved to hear 3 and a half is proving to be a tricky age for others. L is a total wingemonster at the moment. She repeats 'that's not fair' on a loop. It is exhausting.

Re smacking. I've not smacked... I've lost my temper, shouted and manhandled so I'm not on the moral highground! J already seems harder work then L so I'm not sure how I'll handle her as she gets older.

Beans Good email to your sister. You are being very patient with her.

Trace Hope the move goes smoothly. I remember being perplexed as to how full the house was even with half of it in boxes!

J is walking quite well now. Still wobbly for an 18 month old! J is almost the age that l was when I got pregnant with J. Astonishing! L has become obsessed with Cloudbabies and wants to watch it on iplayer all the time. It is just awful. So fluffy and vacuous.

Going to make rice pudding now as we are overloaded with milk. Rock and roll!

Morning,

I never seem to have time to keep up during the holidays. Especially with DH going on Sunday for 9 weeks.

Trace, I hope the move goes well. I hate moving, we need to move in the next year or so.

Kiwi, I hope you can get DD2 to sleep longer. DS2 was horrendous and finally stopped waking early when he was about 3.

DD has slept through the past 4 nights!! I wake up with rock hard boobs and she needs to feed for about half an hour but I am loving the sleep. She's also smiling properly now. It is so very cute but stops as soon as I try to take a picture.

I hope everyone is well and that the DHs are behaving now.

We're currently looking after a friend's DD (3.5). Me to her (playing with doctors kit)

"Are you going to be a doctor when you grow up?"

Her: "No, I'm going to be a nun"

Oooh I forgot to tell you the HVs latest wisdom!! Apparently DD holds her head up too well for a baby of her age. So we need to find a way to stop her. How???

Put a brick on her head Kayz?

It will be the sling, babies carried upright in slings often have very good head control and muscle control in general as it is actually a pretty good work out for them to be carried that way.

An antidote to the daft HCP, another local MNer took her baby dd to the consultant for a routine hip check (breech, clicky hip) and on seeing that she was in a sling he said that before he came to the UK (think he was African) he had never heard of hip dysplasia and he thought it should b compulsary for all clicky hipped babies to be carried in slings :)

Kiwi I suppose a nun os a fairl good calling .

Dishwasher up and running. It seems the dc's water bottles are not dishwasher proof. May have to go to Sainsbo's later .

Kayz perhaps you should sing her "jelly on a plate" until her head wobbles in time

So ladies - advice needed on the sister situation. As you may remember she wrote me a 4 page letter all about herself with considerable rewriting of history and how our relationship has changed since her daughter was born and she doesn't know why (err cos she took 100k of my great aunts money and because she changed totally and become utterly uninterested in anything other than her family)

I haven't replied yet as I was ill for ages and DH was AWOL at Olympics etc etc. now she has texted me saying she's in London on Sunday, would I like to meet on Monday. Honest answer would be a big fat NO. Should I reply to letter first given she (ignoring what i had requested about speaking in person) had insisted on getting her words in first? Haven't replied to text yet either. No idea what to do.

Kiwi Do you want to meet her? I'd not you can either be honest and tell her exactly why in a long email or if you want to mull over the situation for longer make up an urgent work meeting or something.

When Dh was about 8 a family friend asked him what he wanted to be when her grew up and he replied 'a criminal'.

JB, its a growth industry, they always need staff.

Kiwi, gosh that all sounds too hard, can you ignore and pretend you have had problems with your phone. I guess if you meet up you could get it over with but we are gonna need to go over what you want to say to her. You could always state how you feel? How do you feel?

Kayz, that almost tops that HV of mine that started talking to our cat....like actually mioawed at it.

I can't remember anything else I've read but have been lurking.

DS1's birthday tomorrow, can't believe how 7yrs have gone so fast. My sweet lovely little man. I made a cake but it hasn't gone well so will have to make another tomorrow.

Aw Vag, 7 is so big! Happy Birthday for tomorrow Big Boy Vag.

Kiwi gosh. You know I'm not sure I'd be able to meet face to face without having written back. At least with writing oyu have the chance to be calm and considered and have a proper answer to her letter. Once you've done that at least you both know how each other feels.

Ds1 has chosen his lego model online and is eagerly awaiting his parcel for managing a full week of being dry at night. I'm very proud of him. He has come so, so far since this time last year.

Dd on the other hand is being a little oik that I would cheerfully strangle. The terrible 3s are bloody hard work! She has been pooing her pants all the bloody time recently and today did a shit on the floor, ground it into the carpet and smeared it all over herself. She followed it up a little later with another poo in her pants . I have now entered into a deal where all poo anywhere that is not a toilet will get the bottom step and all poo in toilet will get a sticker. Sticker charts have never worked on her before but she is all excited by ds1's treat getting from his stickers so fingers crossed. 5 stickers will get a small treat (I need to get some bubbles or bouncy balls or something) and 10 will get a bigger treat. I have a funny feeling I will end up dishing out a treat and then she will just go right back to pooing in pants but hey ho we can but try.

I seem to remember though ds1 going through a poo phase at the same sort of age. He used to poo at night then fish it out of his nappy and smear it all over his headboard. We used to go in and find this stinking, shit covered boy with poo under his nails and all over his hands and a coat of poo drying on the bed. It was gross. The child sucks his thumb, sometimes we wouldn't hear him at it and would only find him asleep!

hello :)
kiwi that's tricky. I think I'd have wanted to respond to your sister in writing first, so you were on equal footing, as it were. Any chance to write a reply soon?
JB nice to see you again. Can't believe J is 18 months! I've not seen cloud babies - sounds like i'm not missing much!
Still surrounded by boxes here - all parties ready to move but solicitors being annoyingly slow. Anyway, it looks like Tuesday will be moving day :) Can't wait!
Well must go to sleep now...
see you soon xxx

Thanks for all advice. Think you are all right that I should write first..

Vag does DD1 like Star Wars?? I have a T-shirt (brand new) he might like if he does

Kiwi DS1 does like Star wars though hasn't seen it yet as I want to wait until DS2 is a little older but he likes all the characters. More importantly DH likes it, hence why the boys are so aware of it. I would love the shirt for him. I can send you the postage cost.

How are you feeling do you think all your lurgies cleared to. With the letter, could you write it, I know you won't get to send it, but just to get everything clear in your head that you want to say. What do you want to get out of the meeting, it seems like she wants to maximize the guilt on your part, rather than a resolution, so you might have to be ready to be talked at.

Trace, this part of all the house stuff can be the most stressful bit but you seem quite chilled. Thinking of you this weekend.

Also we are coming over to the great northeast on the 13th til the 16thish so will have to sort out a meet up. Will be staying in Caistor but will have a car.