BBB Glad to hear he is making an effort. Not surprised you are finding it hard to trust this is a permanent change - but fingers crossed and don't be afraid to remind him if he slips back. Good on you for the iPad thing, hope that hit home.
Sorry so many of you have been ill - hope you're all on the mend.
IC Sounds like a great trip.
BG Glad it all went well.
So... I have taken DS out of nursery. The last three sessions he's been crying when one of us collected him. Also the front door is left unlocked and unsupervised for periods of time at arrival and departure times (which are staggered so not just twice a day), and I went and watched the balcony today after dropping him off and no one was out there with them. The height of the railing as I've said is kind of human-waist height. There was a stairgate on the stairs. But any adult stranger could easily have jumped over (I KNOW it's a million to one chance - but all the primary and secondary schools around here have high fences and locked gates so I don't see why a preschool is being so lax). Also they clear all the equipment away before collecting time - so the kids are running around an empty hall for I don't know how long. Surely they should stay later and clear away once everyone has gone?
I spent the whole afternoon feeling anxious about their approach to safeguarding and when I went to collect him he was sitting on his own while all the other kids were at the other end of the room singing. He looked very forlorn and sad and they said again he'd been tearful. I said I'd pay to the end of this week but we weren't coming back as it obviously didn't suit him (I didn't want to get into a row about the safety issue). She said I'd have to pay to the end of term. I'd accept that if they were full and could have filled the space but as I've mentioned they are not running anywhere near full capacity - I said I wasn't going to pay and outlined my concerns about safety. I said I'd observed the balcony after dropping him off and there was no one out there and she said "well we're in and out" - I remember explicitly asking and being told that there was always a member of staff on the balcony if it was open when we went for his settling in period.
I feel all nervous and sicky - I hate any kind of unpleasant conversation. I don't think they are nasty people but I do think they are more slapdash than they should be over the safety issue. I don't know whether to tell Ofsted but I do think I'm right that they shouldn't be left even for 5 mins on a near-the-ground balcony that can easily be entered by a stranger (and possibly they could work out a way of climbing out of).
DS has also said a couple of things recently that have made me a bit sad. He said "people don't like me anymore" at the weekend. I said "Oh you think people don't like you? I know I like you" and later we talked about all his friends who liked him. I didn't want to make too big a thing of it but I wish I knew what brought that on. Today when I asked him about nursery he said he did painting and fighting (!). Then when I put him in his cot he said he didn't have any friends. It's worrying because he's always been such a happy chap and he is fine when he is with his friends - I'm worried some of the older kids at the nursery told him he didn't have any friends. Anyway hopefully he'll be cheerier now he doesn't have to go back.
He did all his wees in the potty today! Every time (about 5) I had to prompt him but each time I took off his nappy it was completely dry. (No poos today either in potty or nappy). He even got to sit in his highchair for dinner in big boy pants!
Baby is fine - she's 11 weeks now and can roll from front to back. She's very chatty and doesn't sleep much in the day. she's lovely. I got a lightweight wrap sling for summer which she really seems to like. It doesn't slip down as much as the stretchy one either.
I have been trying to teach DS to dress/undress himself a bit more on his own. It does save time in the short term to do it for him but I really want him to do what he's capable of.
Feel very guilty that DH and I had rows in front of him at the weekend (and in front of my mum unfortunately as she arrived in the middle of a blazing one) - about the amount he works and still hasn't cleared his office out to be a playroom. We have cleared the air and he actually did the garden on Sunday and has put Thurs and Fri this week aside to do the office.
It was that evening after the row that DS said about 'people don't like me anymore'. I know I've said before my parents used to shout at each other and wake me up and it really is something I don't want my kids to have to suffer. Your home is supposed to be the place you feel safest - when my mum and dad rowed it was like the place was all scary and the foundations were wobbly and impermanent. I hope we have sorted things though, I think we have and hopefully there will not be any more rows - we've put a few things in place to avoid flashpoints.
Sorry to have rattled on so much and to have been so me-me-me. I am feeling quite unsettled after the whole nursery thing and although my instinct told me to get the hell out I am still doubting myself and wondering if I was being utterly precious and OTT.