October 2011: Crawling, teething and (we hope) sleeping through

[Penelope1980]

Sorry guys - posted the 1000th message without realising , so hopefully you can all find this thread!

Hope you're all having a lovely weekend!

I'm a bit stressed and can't get to my HV clinic for three weeks because of the holidays then having to work the next two Mondays, so, I'm consulting my other gurus: you lot!

I've been trying to stop breastfeeding during the day and am now only feeding Lizzie in the morning, bedtime and through the night. As I've mentioned before, she's a bottle refuser. She's eating three meals a day and a couple of snacks if she seems hungry between meals. My worry is that she's not having any milk during the day. My minor triumph of her drinking formula from a cup was short lived. She drank about a teaspoonful and then no more. She will drink a little water, today I think she's had about 200ml in total.

She's got plenty of wet and dirty nappies, doesn't seem dehydrated and eats well. I'm just a bit worried that everything I read days that she should get more than half her calories from milk until she's 12 months.

She's feeding through the night - last night she fed at 7pm, 11pm, 1.45am, 3.15am, 5.15am and 8am. I'd obviously rather she wasn't feeding quite so much but I'm worried to stop as she's not having milk during the day!

She just turns her nose up at formula! I can get a little into her if I mash some banana into formula.

So ladies, any ideas? How can I get her to have more milk? The food she's eating is varied and healthy but I just think that she needs the good stuff in the milk. Should I up the breastfeeding again, maybe add one more feed during the day?

Have any other breastfeeding mums tried to drop feeds yet? I'm sure there were another couple of bottle refusers out there, what do you do?

Thanks guys.

Happy birthday Ed!

Welcome back BB3, when are you up our way?

Hope all DH/Ps are behaving themselves. Words were had here, he's in charge of our dinners for a week, so far I've had mince curry (grim), pasta with tomato sauce (not quite as grim but he miscalculated the portion size, I was starving) and tonight burnt pizza. I'm wondering if i've cut off my nose to spite my face...!

MrsH we have a bottle refuser too and following all the BLW advice I've had, I've not tried to drop feeds at all. He feeds 7am, 11am, 3pm and bedtime, plus usually one feed during the night. He hasn't shown any sign of wanting to drop one, so I haven't forced it. Afaik, milk is supposed to be their main source of calories for a year so I wouldn't be dropping feeds unless she was turning her nose up. Is there a reason you can't feed during the day? (Sorry if there is, I'm still on catch up with everyone's varied home situations!) Can you express?

Fuzzzy I had P weighed about 2 weeks ago and she was 15.13lb, she is still on 25th centile for weight but just measured her (with my B&Q tape measure) and she has hardly grown in length at all from being measured at 5 months . She is 66cm and on 9th centime for length (short arse Mummy).

Congratulations CountryMama :). We are trying but no blue link has turned up yet. Must have been a shock if you are using contraceptive though!

Thanks lookout, I've got to go into work for a couple of afternoons and a whole day over the next few weeks, hence trying to get her to take milk in some way other than from me! She won't take expressed milk either.

In lots of ways I think you're right and I should just keep feeding, knowing that on those 3 days I'm in work she won't starve. I'm a teacher so I'm doing my KIT days now, meeting my new class, but only returning full time in August when school starts again.

On the other hand, I'm feeling ready to stop feeding and ready to get my body back. I've loved breastfeeding and will be sad to stop but would love to be able to leave her for more than a couple of hours. We'd like to start ttc but I'm not having any periods.

If i went back to work, I would not feed those days and not refuse any night feeds.

mrsh same as lookout, I wouldn't be dropping to 2 feeds a day as first 12 months milk main source of nutrition. Ds only dropped to 2 feeds around 18 months or later iirc. Sympathise with the ttc as had fertility issues and bfing meant we couldn't have all treatment so we made decision just to keep ttc without help, took
Longer but happened. Have you tried expressed in a beaker?

Just saw she's feeding thro night so she's getting her milk in then.

lookout no exact experience as W is bottle fed but have you tried a normal cup? This is what they did with W in hospital when he was newborn (with a tiny cup) and failing to take enough from me or a bottle.

mrsh have you tried different brands of formula? My understanding is that they do taste different. Can't offer much advice though. We had a baby in nursery who was bf and wouldn't take a bottle either. Her mum provided us with a syringe to squirt it into her . It did work though!! She was only young though and so needed the milk through the day. What kinds of cup have you been trying? S uses a free flow tomme tippee one for her water. I hear the 'no spill' ones are no good as they have to suck in a different was from a teat or boob to get it out.
cheshire S was 17.4 the start of may and 18.6 as of last week. She was an average of just under 2lbs per month(ish) but she didn't put on as much this time. HV said its due to fact she is now moving around so burning it off. She is now above the 50th line so getting bigger! Not done her length but she has grown, I will measure her tomorrow

chesh and out of curiosity, what height are you and dh? I'm 5ft7 and her dad is 5ft9 (I think! ) so i think we are kinda average height wise so I assume she will be roughly the same

fuzzzy good point re formula's tasting different. SMA is horrible! W doesn't like it, I've tasted it and agree with him. We use Cow and Gate.

Thanks girls.

I've tried different milks, bottles and cups - all sorts of combinations of them! She's taking her water from a tommy tippee free flow cup.

I've had a chat to DH about all your advice, and we're thinking I'm going to have to go back to feeding during the day.

Feel a bit frustrated about this, my ideal next step would be bf morning and night with ff during the day - quite selfish of me I guess, but best of both worlds and I could carry this on when I go back to work full time.

I'm pleased that breastfeeding has worked for me for so long and now feel guilty for wanting to stop when I know others would have loved to have managed to breastfeed at all.

It's not easy, this mothering lark, is it!

MrsH we are only a small group, it might be worth a thread in breastfeeding/formula section on here. Also kellymom.com is a useful website ime.

This mothering lark is blinking hard, even on number 3 I still question how I'm doing it all. Thing is, none of us can get it all right, all of the time. If you try to, you'll the yourself up in knots and make yourself ill

Congratulations Country! Hope you are over the shock

Tally - Leo's reflux is back with a vengeance too, he had started to get better but is now barfing after every feed and a lot of food comes back too - yuck. I haven't worried too much as he seems happy enough and is eating well.

Having a terrible time of it at the moment....been awake and in tears since 3am, everything is just getting on top of me.
M just keeps feeding all through the night, I'm rubbish on lack of sleep, but don't even feel tired even though I've only had 2 hours sleep - I just feel totally fed up with everything.
Yesterday was our wedding anniversary but I just kept getting upset and not even knowing why, and by late afternoon I felt dizzy and sick with tiredness.
My DH has offered to give M a bottle of formula tonight (she's never had formula before and refused a bottle when I expressed at 3 months) but he won't be able to do this once the weekend is over. He works incredibly long hours with at least 3 hours driving a day, so I can't have him getting tired as it would be dangerous for him to drive. It just seems like a hopeless situation. I hate the holidays - DD is very difficult and no preschool or groups to give me a break, and just have no idea how I will cope with lack of sleep on top of that.
M has generally been an excellent sleeper but I've just this week moved her to her own room and she keeps waking - for comfort maybe?
I feel like I have no time at all for me - it's all just childcare, feeding, cleaning and bed as soon as M does in the evening - 7 months of this and I feel like I've had enough and want some sort of a life back.
Sorry for the big moan and 'me' post, I just know that some of you will be able to relate to this.

Oh pink ((hugs))
I do understand how you feel I had a horrid time a while ago and when you're up so much in the night it's so hard to just do normal stuff. I'd let DH do ff today and tomorrow (if M will take it) just to give you a break. If you can get a proper stretch of sleep it will do you the world of good. (I find if I can just get 4hrs in one go then I can function).
Hope you have a better day today, be kind to yourself and don't try and do too much. And remember "this too shall pass"!
Oh and Happy Anniversary! Xxx

Country CONGRATULATIONS!!! I too am a bit as I can't start trying until after the wedding. Hope you're feeling ok, let us know how the scan goes x

We've had friends of DP down from London since Friday and I'm exhausted! They have a DD 13 months old, and between her and E its been manic (practise for the next one?) Snuck upstairs last night and pretended E wouldn't settle just so I could have some peace and quiet, sat snuggling him

countrymama congratulations that is e citing. A title bit of me is a teeny bit but I think J is our last.

pink ((hugs)) I understand the whole "no break" thing when you've got a preschooler demanding attention during day and baby at night. I'm very grateful for my eldest who will play with ds2 and fortelevision which I use when ds2 not here--

All change here last few nights, for the better. J goes to bed at 7/8 and dream feed at 11, the going through till 5. She wakes happy, has a feed and dh takes her around 6ish. On work days he leaves at 7 so she's back with me then. Right now she's singing to me so best go. Been absolute weeks of waking 1am and 3am and some of just 3am, so am relieved to turn a corner a bit for now.

So let me fill you all in... I am in total shock still and a bit anxious but how can I think of a baby as anything other than wonderful!! I had been breast feeding up until 2 weeks ago but when I stopped my boobs stayed full... that was my only suspicion! And only really a half thought. But the test was positive. The irony in all this is that we have not be able to have sex because I needed an operation (we managed 4 times in 7 months!!!), I haven't had a period and I used contraception those few times!! I already have a 3 year old so I am going to be a mother of 3 under 4s!! Yikes! I don't know how pregnant I am so I'll have to go for a dating scan soon. I really don't know what to say to people but I also really feel like I need the support of my friends and family to get through this. It changes everything!! The car we drive, my job (no way I can keep working), EVERYTHING!! We are going to move in with my folks who have a big house so that they can be on hand to help (this is a great thing... I love their house and them). I guess I just have to grin and enjoy the ride. One day I'll get sleep. (Ezra wakes every 1/2 hour!! still)

pink I feel your pain. Sleep is such a precious thing. I get frustrated that people suggest things to me and nothing seems to make it better. Keep going my love. It will change soon enough. XX

countrymama relieved that you are happy with the situation, wow what a change but glad you have support around you.

I definitely haven't had a 4 hour stretch since DS arrived. He appears to be on a mini bf strike, I assume teething related.

mrsh at 7 months DD was on 3oz when i was at work given at lunch, by 10 months she didn't have milk in the working day with some at weekends.

mrsH as pa says, on the days you are at work just now, don't get stressed out with her not havin milk. She will be fine, you can always give her a big feed when you see her again. Did you sort a nursery out? Maybe someone completely different giving her a bottle may help. Good luck!
cm 3 under 4! Your brave but you will be absolutely fine . Great you have support all around. Please keep us updated

I'm off to see my boss this morning. Today is my official back to work day but I'm off as they have taken the holiday. I have a feeling I'm not getting good news though regarding my job

pp hugs and much sympathy from me too. We go through these patches and when they hit I find them very hard to deal with too. LP is absolutely right, it will get better, you have to hold onto that like a mantra. Take your dh up on his offer and try and get some rest. Thinking of you today xx

Pink pants sleep here too - for at least the last week I'd say. I think/hope we are going through the 8 month Wonder Week so as someone said "it will pass", bloody knackered though and look like a bag of spanners! :( Sometimes she wants feeding and sometimes she just seems to want a cuddle. It is exhausting.

Very excited for you Country and . Can you rent your house out then whilst you live with your Parents?., I wanted to be pregnant by Feb/March, it's June now :(

Fuzzzy I am about 5ft 2" and DH is about 5ft 10"/11" I reckon. I was always the tallest at primary school and then as soon as I got to high school I seemed to become a right shorty . Hope whatever news you get at work it's what you want to hear.

pink how are you now? Lack of sleep is awful. I hope you get a better night tonight
lp how are the wedding plans coming along? You must be so excited! October will be a great month, wedding and first birthday!!

Well, as I was expecting, I have no job to go back too . I had told them a month back that I was looking for full time work but as yet hadn't got anything. They have decided just to stick with the plan that they were using while I was off. I obviously have my months notice but turns out I'll only be doing 1 day as they are off on holiday the rest of it! Good, but still. I now have no job, no maternity pay, no nothing. Job centre is closed for holidays so I can't speak with anyone till Wednesday. I looked online, I can claim income support as a lone parent but it's no doubt gonna take weeks to sort. Times like this I hate her dad/ex-dp for just walking away from all his responsibilities. But to be honest, even if he got in touch now, I'd tell him to run and jump off the nearest cliff

Hope everyone is having a good day!