Sept 2008 - no witty title as we're too busy dealing with stroppy 3 yr olds.

[MrsArchchancellorRidcully]

Hello all. Couldn't see a new thread so thought I'd do the honours. Sorry for rubbish title, I'm no good at witty! :)

Yes. They're great. I suppose I thought of dancing because you HAVE to do it with a member of the opposite sex, which keeps changing. It seems somehow more efficient , but i think you'd probably best stick to what you like. More chance of finding like-minded people.

And remember, girl friends are worth making too as they have brothers, male friends etc.

It'd just be nice to have some single friends I guess, to be honest I'm fine though. I have good friends, great kids and a decent job so I can't complain.

My friend started salsa when she was divorced, but as you say starlight not many men there! I did look up speed dating, I might do again sometime.

Thank you for asking after me Carrie, I have been away plus been having a tough week.

But first, I am so very sorry to hear about your friend's baby. What a tragedy and yes, life is often very cruel. It's good that your church is rallying around to support her and her family.
I sometimes envy you your faith - i wish I had some. I was brought up a catholic and became totally disillusioned by all the wealth and hypocrisy within the catholic church.

Ninja great to hear you had a date. When i first split with exh, I confess I had a bit of a wild time and behaved quite naughtily - I think the term no strings was used on more than one occasion! Enjoy yourself.
I also love star's description of meeting DH. I could say the same when I met DF (ooh, how cool i get to say that now - still no ring though and no official announcement yet!) - we chatted like we had known each other for ages.

We went away to preston for 2 nights at the weekend. It went really well. DD and DS slept brilliantly as we were all in the same room (so no night wakings from DD with scary monsters like last night!) and we pootled around southport and had fish n chips. DD has started to eat well recently and behaved amazingly well. On the way back home we stopped at the Glamorous chinese restaurant in Manchester. we love it there - it is always packed with chinese people and they love kids. DD tried squid and sui mai (sp?) and loved them both.

But on the downside, last week I had a meeting with my boss and he said that whilst he and his boss were ok with my request to work flexibly (I've asked to work 4 days a week from 1 Oct to 31 Aug next yr, then return to full time once DD starts school), the director of our dept 'doesn't like people working part time and he will find a reason to say no'. FFS! It's 11 flamin months. I have asked for a meeting with HR but am not hopeful. I really didn't want DS to go to nursery full-time from Sept but may have no choice as MIL cannot have him ;like she did with DD :(

And another depressing thing too. We arrived back to find a letter from the courts telling us that actually the IM did file a defence in time but they forgot to update our claim, so we asked for a judgement thinking we were sorted and now find that is overturned and we have to go to court in Telford (2 hrs from us) with DS. I have seen some of her defence (the muppets didn't photocopy all pages so I've not seen it all) and it talks about all the reasons why she transferred me to the NHS, including giving lots of my personal medical details which I am not happy about as it is not relevant - this is a civil claim for breach of contract not a medical tribunal.

Why she transferred me is a separate matter - she broke our contract and so should repay. It's the same if a builder was paid in advance and he left 1/3 of the way through saying it was too difficult - I'd expect a refund.
She has also lied as she states she later found out I have true hypertension. Erm, no I don't. I've never had a 24 hr test to determine, it doesn't say that on my GP records, my bp is fine at home and the consultants didn't even ask me to take bp tablets during the pg. I didn't t/f private till 32 weeks so no, i don't have hypertension lying witch. The GD comment I could accept as my modified GTT did come back high but this also happened with DD pg and i went on to have a full GTT which was fine. this time round they wouldn't give me a full GTT so i disputed I had GD. As DS was not massive and had no blood sugar issues at all and I never showed sugar in my urine, I'm guessing I didn't!

anyway, that is irrelevant as the case is civil not medical. I wonder if she can disclose lots of my medical history without my permission as I'm just asking for a refund and am not suing her for negligence etc.

So pretty crap week. (But not as crap as Carrie's friend, so I'm grateful) for that).

MrsA Bloody director and independant midwife.

I think there's a fuss happening at work about a admin colleague who wants to change her hours after DC2, possibly down to 2.5 days or so and as far as I can tell they aren't going to let her. Pisses me right off that long term staff are blocked from returning or have to pay more for childcare than they would like just because the bosses won't be more flexible. I don't know, I've never been a manager, but I'd rather have a long-term dedicated team even if I had to shuffle hours and be flexible than hire new staff. .

I'm off sick today, I'm hoping a day on the sofa will nip it in the bud.

starshit if we can find some way of getting it to you can have my Silver cross pramette I had for toby..its immaculate still. Its jet black and I loved it Its for newborns to 3. Starts as a pram and turns into a pushchair. You can even buy a silvercross carseat to turn it into a travel system.

Also have some stairgates somewhere I think....

ninja more fool him indeed - you are one foxy lady and he will be crying into his pillow when he realises what he has missed out on!

ILTMIMI I have had my scans and MRI. Wrt to my back...its as expected..i.e. my L3 disc is fucked and I will eventually need surgery (but hopefully a long time away as its pretty major stuff...fusing vertabrae together etc) so I have got to go and have another proceedure where they stick a big needle through my side to get to the L3 disc and inject it with steroid. Sounds like fun

Wrt to my lady parts (as ds1 would say) I am having an endometrial biopsy and coil fitted next weds. Also sounds like fun. Gynae wanted me to have a GA but I have 2 young kids, I cant be having GA's at the drop of a hat! So I am having it done under local.

Will just be glad when its all over tbh

Like my new MN NN????

Its me...Bec!

Wow! Badvoc what a change!! Why??

Thanks for your support :) Wow that really doesn't sound like fun :(

Meg hope you're feeling better.

MrsA - that is unbelieveable, how could they not have told you that there was a defence? How awful to have to go through all that again. It should be clear cut whatever her defence though, shouldn't it.

Oh MrsA I'm so sorry that this court thing is dragging on so long :(

ninja it is totally his loss, but well done for getting a first date under your belt so to speak! You know you want to find someone with like-minded interests, but are there any extreme sports you've not tried yet?!

star sadly both our cots are still in use (one as a cot bed) otherwise I'd gladly give you one. Lol at 'there's always competition for me'

meglet are you feeling any better? Hope the medicinal is working.

ILTMIMI the appointment went fine thanks, DD has been put on long term prophylactic antibiotics to hopefully stave off any further UTIs. She's being referred for a radioactive isotope kidney x-ray to check for scarring. Apparently if you've got it its the sort of thing you need to know you've got, particularly if you ever have blood pressure ishoos (like when she gets pregnant she's 5 fgs!) as alarm bells and intervention would be needed for her sooner than it would for a person without scarring iykwim.

carrie Ds1 was on long term profilactic (sp?) ABs til feb this year. Worked well for him.

ninja hmmm...dont know...just fancied a change!

mrsa Sorry to hear the news re: court. However, as someone else said, its a pretty clear cut breach of contract so hopefully it will all get sorted quickly x

Am away this weekend so will catch up next week x

Much better now thanks. I was just really yucky on Weds morning, felt like every part of me was going to get ill but I rested and whatever it was didn't kick in.

carrie Hope the anti-b's can knock the UTI's on the head. Isn't modern medicine wonderful that they know about clever things like that and can keep an eye on your DD's kidneys as she grows up .

Blimey Bec, it really sounds like you are going through the medical wringer at the moment {{hugs}}

Hugs to you too MrsA.

I have read about scarring Carrie, I think I read an article about a z-list celeb who got it via a UTI (she was hospitalised for the UTI so it was a bad attack).

Glad you got a chance to rest Meglet.

I am still running and last night I ran for 20 minutes non stop. Now I know this doesn't seem much, but a couple of months ago I struggled to run for 1 minute. I was very chuffed with myself, especially as before that point the longest I had ran was for 8 minutes. I'm surprised how competitive I am with myself.

I'm keeping the boys occupied today while dh starts to fit the new bathroom. The house looks like a shit tip, however I don't have the energy to care. Ds3 is the worst, he's like a mess making whirlwind

ILTMIMI Yeah...its a bit pants. Will be glad when its all over.

So. My weekend away was a bit of a washout...was late for my train...waddlingrunning down the platform after a rapidly accelerating train was not a good idea

Then got to center parcs friday night - all well till yesterday morning when the water supply to the whole parkl failed. Had to evacuate. Seriously. You couldnt make it up, could you?

Glad to be back really, as Toby is getting his back molars and its making him poorly/miserable/evil all at once...oh, and dh and fil are putting up the trampoline in the garden and toby has already split his lip with a mallet...sigh.

20 mins running would actually kill me ILTMIMI so very well done!

Just checking in!

carrie your poor poor friend , I think it's amazing how your community rallies round in such times.

MrsA sorry to hear the dispute with the imw is dragging on - must be very stressful.

So Franco is 4 weeks tomorrow. It's gone so quickly. Breastfeeding is getting easier. And the last two nights F has only woken once - I know we could be back to two hourly slots again tonight but the co-sleeping helps settle him.

One thing I am struggling with now is ds1's behaviour. He's desperate for attention and yet manages to wind me up so much. I have to admit that I've shouted at him a lot today. He's unwell atm and bored - I'm not quite 100% yet with my pelvis so I can't always wear him out at the park everyday. I know it'll get better but I just feel so guilty that he's having to adjust so much to this change. People talk of leaving their babies to cry while they deal with dc1 - but how do you deal with bad behaviour while you're breastfeeding? He is totally uninterested in being read to during the day. Will happily play games on cbeebies website for hours - but I feel guilty for sticking him in front of the laptop all the time.

Digi, don't feel guilty about using a website. It's not forever and if he sees that as his treat while Franco is feeding then at least he's occupied. It's hard isn't it? The sleep is amazing tho, long may it last!

Badvoc, bec. That sounds a shame, is there any compensation for that? I'm sure Toby will love the trampoline. Maebh does, it's just unfortunate that it's under a tree where a lot of birds nest. Oops.

It was dd1s birthday yesterday and she had a sleepover at her dads house and laser quest today. Lots of fun, but she was too over excited and a bit emotional.

I managed a 10 mile run including a BIG hill followed by 3 hours sitting at the computer doing a revision session, so I'm enjoying a well deserved bath now :)

ninja 10 miles???

digi It does get easier, honestly. Ds1 was older when I had toby but I remember 1 awful awful day when toby was about 6 weeks old and I was on my knees with anaemia and tiredness and he just wouldnt SHUT UP and I really yelled He was so upset and told me he "wanted to go away from here"

Cbeebies website is educational and that makes it ok

digi I'm glad that things are getting better with ds2 feesding/sleeping. Just wanted to post that what you're experiencing with ds1 is 100% normal. I found 4-8 weeks absolute hell. It was after the novelty of ds arriving had worn off and dd realised he was here to stay. I too ended up shouting at her as you simply can't discipline the way you want with a newborn around (ds was feeding at least every 2 hrs, often every 90mins). I had good advice on here, specially from starshit :) in that this time is one of survival. Ignore as much as you can and give ds1 huge amounts of attention and love when ds2 is asleep. Tv/website on lots won't hurt him short term. If you're tired, when ds2 is asleep lie on the bed with ds2 for a cuddle and make up stories to get a rest. But rest assured it will get better. Ds was 5 months yesterday and life is good (ignoring all the other shit going on in my life and just thinking about the kids). Ds is chilled and I have been able to get discipline and consequences back on track and ds is able to join in things (eg sit in his bumbo and watch while we do craft or paint). I also found the Moiby and Close stretchy wraps a godsend so I had hands free and now he's much bigger, I've got a babyhawk mei tai and I LOVE it. It cost £65 from slumberoo and it is so comfy and ds loves it too. We've also been able to carry dd on our backs in it, so won't have to take the buggy board on holiday, just a buggy. Sorry, I digress but don't be too hard on yourself - it is hard on everyone at this stage.

That should read - rest on the bed with ds1 whilst ds2 sleeps. I also found that being anaemic made me incredibly angry and impatient so iron tablets helped.

Another one fainting at 10 miles. I can't imagine ever being able to run for that long. What do you think about? Apart from what you would like to do/say to TW

4 weeks already Digi?! Like MrsA said, about 4 weeks in I think most people start to feel like they are running on empty, so it gets tough. Also like MrsA I used a sling a lot, it was a bloody godsend. I would do everything with M that I had done before, just with I in the sling as well. When I fed I, M would watch tv, but I would engage with M at the same time (asking questions about what was happening on the programme etc) so he still felt like he was getting my attention.

Try not to worry, it's not like this for long. I remember feeling terrible guilt and upset. I mourned the time I used to have with just M. I also felt guilty that I was trying to lavish attention on M so he didn't feel left out, and the flip side of that was I was just feeding and doing the basics for I. Then I started to smile and I felt like there was some reciprocation and it all started to come together.

Hi all.

Can I ask you all a question?

My dc go to a faith school and I attend the local church.

Anyway, there is a p/t job going (for 1 year) as a youth worker to try and reach out to families with kids, provide more services for them and try and give kids a safe place to be.

Pre-schoolers and ks1 kids are pretty well catered for but there nothing for pre schoolers and older kids

Any ideas?

As parents is there anything that you would really like/dislike a church to provide?

Cheers, ladies x

A couple of things that our local church are doing (I'm not involved but could find out more) are:

Family film nights (acoustics are great in a church)

Hosting beavers/brownies/...

They also do early and messy chuch services specifically for families

My sister is a youth worker and runs a youth club, cupcake club! lots of festival related stuff (crafts for christmas, easter, ...)

In holidays she also organises trips to iceskating/museums/panto/...

Is that the kind of thing?

Can't believe this fell off threads I'm on

badvoc I take it you are interested in the job? Is there a faith requirement - does 'reach out to families' include 'reach out with the love of Jesus' or is it just a social action type job? I guess that affects what you'd put on your application in terms of ideas.
For pre-schoolers the obvious thing would be a toddler group I guess - a place for mums to meet, kids to play safely, and the usual ingredients of craft, singing/story time and snack. There are also other things you can work in conjunction with, for example in our city there's a charity that provides parenting courses, so the church got them in one time to lead a session for the parents while the toddler leaders looked after the kids.
For older kids I guess some kind of after-school drop in/hang out/table tennis/computer games type place - safe and inviting with responsible adults around in case any of them needed to talk about anything? And ditto parenting teenagers courses for the parents. Also a popular thing round here is 'who let the dads out' to provide something for dads to take their kids to on a saturday, giving mums a break but also providing a context for tv addicted dads to play with their kids - making things out of wood seems to be very popular.

DH has just left for his very long week four days in America :( And DS2 has chosen today to start with diarrhoea again, which if it continues into tomorrow means I'll have to cancel all the sanity-saving playdates I had planned! One of the mums who walks past our house on the way to school has offered to take DD for the next two days, so I only have to get one of the children up, dressed and breakfasted. Although DD tends to get herself up and make everyone's breakfast anyway. I wish she was old enough to boil the kettle and make me a but sadly at age 5 she can't even reach the tap!!

Going to eat a bar of chocolate and watch tonight's installment of britain's got talent, then I guess I'd better go to bed...

bookmarking...

I am interested..in fact its pretty much my dream job as I would like to work with children and I would like to further to cause of the church in my community at the same time.

Thanks for the tips...some great ideas!

They tried messy church and it wasnt that successful so now they do cafe church (evening) once a month and a breakfast and family service once a month which are also very successful.

I would really love to reach out to the older kids...so many seem to just "hang around" on corners and its sad

Idea of parenting courses is fab

At playgroup this morning one of the other mums said her DH has gone away and taken the car, she misses the car more than him! I laughed. And then my car broke down on the way home . Lovely mechanic is fixing it tomorrow, needs a new alternator. Disclaimer: I miss DH more, but lack of car is more inconvenient!

badvoc I was at elveden too last weekend. If you saw a mostly harassed bedraggled mess wandering around with dd's, that was me . Despite the water issues, we did have a lovely weekend. Erin loves the swimming pool and even went on the slides with me. As dh was on a charity bike ride, I dragged my parents with me. I'm a center parcs addict now, and our summer holiday is us going back to one of the Dutch ones again.