July 2010: Their speech is improving but it's sleep we're still losing

[DesperateHousewife21]

Welcome back everyone!

My computed is also being naughty, glad I have my phone! I'm sat on the sofa bouncing f in his bouncy chair, I started sitting up but the chair is getting further and further away so now I'm virtually sliding off!
Good day today, I also felt happy for the first time in forever, went to see a friend and he's DS in their new house this morning then everyone had a Kip and we went to the park this afternoon, such a lovely sunny day and everyone was in a good mood/ asleep! F is growth spurting I think, he has had loads the last few days and gone much longer between feeds, the last few night only waking once for a feed which would be lovely if D wasn't waking in between!
D is still being a bugger with his food, I tried turkey mince today, no chance! So I did beans and sausage and he ate loads so its not like he's not hungry. Hey ho, I'm not gona stress about it, its not worth it, as long as he's eating!

ds why would a SAHM be better off if they were renting? (wonder if im missing something)
viksam thats brilliant that you had a good day, L has hadsausage and beans on toast tonight, rice krispies for breakfast and a gingerbread man today, no fruit or anything, he isnt himself and I just thing anything is better than nothing!
cakes I would love a career, just dont know how to go about it, been speaking to my friend about it today as I want to work at a career at some point. So is your dh going to go for the job?

L was up loads in the night, I havent stopped today and dh is away til Thursday, L was shattered and went to bed as soon as we got in, my friend is having her first scan tomorrow, She is petrified as her friend had no heartbeat at 12 weeks, Cant wait to get the excited call tomorrow!

Well I am a sahm and am definitely not financially better off for it! But I would have 'broken even' to go back to work, yet come 18 months when childcare costs will go down for us, I would have been better off having a job. So I don't agree with the logic of that group discussion at all!

Glad you've had a good day vik :)

I didn't need the hat thanks mlisc

I too have had a lovely day with S, first day I've enjoyed him for months and months. He was saying thank you for everything today in sign cos he still doesn't say a word, and he was doing it really exaggerated so it looked like he was blowing kisses anytime I gave him anything. I could have melted it was so cute. Not one tantrum through the whole day and a good nap at lunchtime have just made today brilliant. L was enjoying nursery so much I had to coax her home.

I've got a brilliant idea for a business but I'd need to be settled for a good few years for it to be worthwhile. Definitely going to look into it once the dc are bit older though. I'm not sure what career to go for, if any, have thought about midwifery or dietetics but I've got a good few years to decide. I'd like to work if only to give DH a chance to do something he enjoys rather than feeling like he's got to shoulder the whole burden of earning a living.

I'm really worried about L when I go in for this cs. She's so clingy anyway, always has to be in the same room as me, cries if I go upstairs without telling her and reinforcing that I'll be back, spends most of her day sat/stood next to me watching what I'm doing. I feel horrible knowing that I have to leave her for at least 2 nights, maybe longer and I just wish I didn't have to. I doubt S will even notice I'm gone but L's going to be a wreck. I also keep thinking about what if I die during the op and other helpful thoughts and getting all worked up about it. Argh! just need this next 8 days to fly by so I can forget all about it.

I also think it completely sucks balls that men can have a family and a career but women constantly struggle and even those who don't have children still have to fight very hard to get anywhere...

3 door cars with a 3yo and 20 month old.

Discuss.

(quickly, as I have to make my mind up yesterday about what to do - help!!!)

I wouldn't personally. I like being able to open the doors and let them climb in themselves while I warm the car up/get the coats. I also have a bad back though so the thought of leaning in to clip them in fills me with dread.
Having said that, you know they can't open the doors/windows and leap out or throw their favourite toy out. You'll be in control of who gets in or out and when.

I did get stuck in a 'friend's' car once that was a 3 door, her engine caught fire and she and the bloke in the passenger seat got out and legged it, shutting the doors behind them while I was left panicking about how to lean the seat forward and reach the door handle so I didn't die...I might have a slight phobia of them

Right, off to bed, good night all. Here's hoping I actually sleep tonight, as opposed to last night. I've got another cold/cough - 4 weeks now...taking the piss.

i thought you'd already bought it mlic?

i personally wouldn't choose 3 dr as i get annoyed enough struggling with the seat belts as it is but i guess it's doable.

would be arse ache if/when you take the seats in and out too (we do it now and then when my father has F & A) - dunno if you do.

so pleased vik and chul had lovely days.

i think i must be really lucky with A as i don't think i've had a day yet where she's really done my head in. she can be a madam and is v strong-willed but is utterly adorable and really funny and happy - i think it's nigh on impossible to get annoyed with her. if she bloody slept thru, she'd be perfect. F's going thru a lovely phase lately too, very helpful and affectionate but of the two of them, he can be the one who does me in when he's going thru a difficult phase and even now whilst he's lovely, he'll still have challenging moments most days.

v cute re S signing thank you chul. my friend's ds used to do that and i really cherish the memory of it as it was heart-meltingly lovely.

try not to kill yourself with guilt about leaving L. it's unavoidable, is such a short time really and who knows... it might even do her good realising that she's actually fine without you there.

at them leaving you in the back chul

actually, like chul, i also get sciatica so don't love leaning into cars. if your back's fine maybe it's not a problem

God I wouldn't mlic - I read your first post about it half wondering if you were crazy. I would definitely go for 5-door if I were you. But obviously you know your situation best!

Thanks all for your input. Going to keep the ridiculously expensive four wheel drive.

Quick survey on manners inspired by active thread

(feel free to answer for any DCs you have)

• How much of the time does he/she say please and thank you without being prompted?

• How 'strict' are you about reminding them to thank you for stuff you give them? e.g. Would you expect/prompt for a thank you when you give them their dinner and then again when you give them their water a few minutes after?

• Do you prompt other children for please and thank you when they ask you for something/you give them something?

• Other than an immediate please and thank you, do you expect them to say anything else to you or others? e.g. to shop assistants or when leaving a friend's house.

Well, J can't say either please or thank you yet (he's only got a few words) so it's a bit of a moot point. I do always model saying please and thank you to him, and when someone else gives him something I always say 'Can you say thank you?' or similar, and I try to remember to do the same when I give him something, but it seems a bit pointless as yet! Good habit to get into though. I think he might be starting to say 'ta' as they do at nursery - I don't like it much but at least it's polite!

good call on the 3dr. could you swap it for something smaller but with 5 doors mlic?

Quick survey on manners

• How much of the time does he/she say please and thank you without being prompted?

F says it about 70% of the time unprompted, A only about 10%.

I love it when F turns to me after we've left a shop and says 'Thank you for buying me X, Mummy'

• How 'strict' are you about reminding them to thank you for stuff you give them? e.g. Would you expect/prompt for a thank you when you give them their dinner and then again when you give them their water a few minutes after?

I'm usually VERY insistent on it for anything I give them but there are times if I'm shattered when i might give them something and then only notice after I've walked away that neither of them said a bloody thing

• Do you prompt other children for please and thank you when they ask you for something/you give them something?

I do but I'm not as grouchy-sounding/evil-eye-giving as i am with my own and i won't keep prompting and prompting like i would with A

• Other than an immediate please and thank you, do you expect them to say anything else to you or others? e.g. to shop assistants or when leaving a friend's house.

F says 'Thank you for my breakfast/dinner/lunch. May I get down from the table please?' He nearly always does this unprompted these days as asking to leave the table is something I'm pretty hardcore about. I notice most other children we know don't do this though so I'm not sure if it's a quirk of mine.

They both say (or get asked to say) thank you and goodbye to shop assistants who have served them or chatted to them.

Just the usual 'Thank you for dinner/having me' (F) and 'thank you' (A) when we leave someone's house.

I also tell F to thank dh if he's taken him somewhere nice eg swimming.

it sounds as tho you're doing the right things woodlands, he'll probably start saying them soon. I'd probably stick with 'thank you' instead of 'ta' at this stage as he might not pronounce it perfectly but it's not that much harder.

I hate 'ta' - just my personal opinion. Both of mine have said thank you, not ta.

• How much of the time does he/she say please and thank you without being prompted?

W regularly says thank you - if someone opens a door for us or if someone gives him something. He's never said please. But then he doesn't really ask for anything he just moans and points instead People have remarked on E's good manners since he was tiny. I'm finding I have to remind him now at times (usually just because he's distracted) although only with me, he's always very polite with others.

• How 'strict' are you about reminding them to thank you for stuff you give them? e.g. Would you expect/prompt for a thank you when you give them their dinner and then again when you give them their water a few minutes after?

I expect a thank you for everything. If I don't get it voluntarily, I prompt them. E will sometimes say 'I want some milk' for example, and I will say well when you ask me nicely I'll consider it. So then it is 'I would like some milk please'. Job done.

• Do you prompt other children for please and thank you when they ask you for something/you give them something?

No. Other people's children, other peoples rules/expectations. But I find that when my children say thanks you, the others tend to follow suit.

• Other than an immediate please and thank you, do you expect them to say anything else to you or others? e.g. to shop assistants or when leaving a friend's house.

I always say to E 'say thank you for having me/us' and 'thanks for the X' if they've been given food etc. My children always say bye bye to checkout operators and stuff like that. E went through a phase of shouting 'cheers mate' at delivery drivers for a while That's from his dad obviously, not me!

My children don't ask to get down from the table but that's somethng that will come with time. They're only little. I will have different expectations of them when they are, say 5 or 6 to when they're 3 and under. I struggle to get E to eat anything atm so I draw the line at sitting on his chair properly, anything else would be a bonus

at 'cheers mate'

i know what you mean about other people's children/their rules and i'm never sure what to do for the best. i suppose i just see it as a good thing for all adults to reinforce basic manners in young children and wouldn't think twice if someone prompted my two.

i only make a real point of it with the little girl we're v close to as we see so much of each other that we all tend to 'discipline' each other's DCs anyway so it would seem odd if i treated her differently with this iykwim? her parents certainly tell F & A to say please/thank you and that seems normal to me.

Like E, people often compliment F's manners but he still needs reminding at times. like you say tho, 3yo is still pretty small

mlic think im a bit late on input for car, I like 3 doors ut the doors are so much heavier due to being bigger and I worry about if L was in the back and we had an accident if they couldnt get to him, is there not a similar car with 5 doors?
chulita can L not go to nursery before you go in so your just not there when she gets picked up to make it a bit easier? im sure she will be fine, she will be able to visit wont she?

With regards to manners, L says please for things but not unprompted, he is still a baby imo but saying that if he doesnt say please when prompted he doesnt get the object he wants.

He cannot say thankyou, but when he should say it he says please instead!
L cannot get from the table on his own as he is strapped in.
When leaving shops, houses and groups he always says ye bye and waves and blows a kiss.
With regards to other kids, never come across a mum who hasnt prompted her child yet, but when I worked behind a bar when I was younger if a child came to checkout for crisps or a drink and didnt say please I would turn them away!

Anytips for stopping a nose running? L's nose is streaming due to his teething I imagine and it makes me feel sick!

cakes or any other bakers where can I get buttermilk? tried 4 supermarkets and cant find it, als have you ever seen golden icing sugar, never seen this before?

You can make buttermilk by adding lemon to milk or something...google may be your friend hrere. Only place I've seen buttermilk for sale was in a health food shop

No, no other options re car. Long story. Don't ask

Been to two libraries, walked dogs, picked up ds1, made them a bagel lunch and now off to my friend's for a little while. TTFN.

chu so lovely that you also had a nice day yesterday, whats today like? I was beside myself with worry about leaving D if you remember and i sobbed and contracted all the way to the hospital! BUT he was absolutly fine, i know L is older but she will also be fine, they adapt so quickly. Whats your plan for child care over that time.........8 days and there will be a fourth thread baby, cant wait, im so excited for you!!
We have been to stay and play this morning, not overly keen on it but D likes it and they have some lovely toys.
Survey

• How much of the time does he/she say please and thank you without being prompted?

about 20%, please is a sign and thank you it 'tantou' very cute.

• How 'strict' are you about reminding them to thank you for stuff you give them? e.g. Would you expect/prompt for a thank you when you give them their dinner and then again when you give them their water a few minutes after?

Yes, i try and be consistent in a relaxed way, DH isnt so much and i find im saying 'say thank you to daddy' a lot.

• Do you prompt other children for please and thank you when they ask you for something/you give them something?

Ummmmmm depends, yes if i know them well, no if im getting to know them.

• Other than an immediate please and thank you, do you expect them to say anything else to you or others? e.g. to shop assistants or when leaving a friend's house.

Always thank you for having me etc and I also would like them to say 'please may i leave the table' it may be old fasioned but i still think its polite, hes also strapped in but makes it clear when he wants out.

Mom and Dad have just confirmed that they are coming down on friday! yay! they will stay at a b&b which is good, we just havent got the room now. Id better get the back log of house work and ironing done!
Anyone want a cat, shes pissed twice on the play mat in the conservatory....Rahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

memphis just drop some lemon juice/vinegar in milk and it'll magically turn to buttermilk like mlisc said (about a dessertspoonful). Off to L, will post later!

We'll still send L to nursery so hopefully she won't click til later and by that time I'll be gone anyway. I'm sure you're all right, it's just what she's like normally that makes me worried!

I think S has stopped teething or whatever it was that was throwing him for the last few months. This is the second day in a row that he's just been delightful, loving it!

L is quite polite, she asks to leave the table and usually says thank you. Please is harder for her to remember but I say something like 'sorry, I can't hear you' and then she says please. S does the sign but who knows whether it's please or thank you. I don't remind other children but then I don't give other children stuff very often tbh.

I've got that stabbing pain back again, hoping DH isn't late tonight!