Jan 2012 - Higgs Boson Gang pt1

[Oeisha]

Link to antenatal thread for convenience

Not a very good title, but it will suffice 'til we fill this one in record time!

Congratulations to all that have popped so far!

I do mine before a feed parsley-and then try to get a bit after a feed if I can but it's rarely successful.

I was worrying a bit about it being too watery if i express before a feed but apparently it's not quite as clear cut as fore milk followed by hind milk so not to worry. MY HV says it's ok to express either before or after. I sometimes find that J only takes one boob and then i express from the other one. I get a good lot then-usually about 4-5 oz but as he's getting bigger the incidences of that happening are getting fewer-he like both barrels!

willsmum it's early days yet so some degree of all that is normal, but it's definitely worth talking it over with a GP/HV. It's normal to cry too, with all the hormones still whizzing around.

About your DH - could you try sitting him down and asking him to do specific tasks, like changing in the night etc? My DH felt a bit useless at first because he can't help with feeding, but he does any night changes and seems to respond well to a specific responsibility. I think he was also anxious at first about not stepping on my toes or disagreeing with me about what the baby needed in case it upset me. So I'm just wondering if your DH is feeling a bit awkward or superfluous and might appreciate some clear instructions. If none of this applies then he needs a kick up the bum to help you out a lot more!

Hope you get the help you need

hi girls,
Not been on for ages, and only managed to catch up on the past couple of pages, so hope you're all doing ok!

Great news about the feeding oeisha!

parsley they usually have BF counsellors at BF cafes (or whatever they call them), and there should be some sort of coordinator for the area - you could always ask at a BF cafe who that would be. Or try your local NCT? They also have advisors (sorry if that's repeating previous advice!)

On the BF front, Alice is feeding well (put on 7oz in a week - it took her big sister about 4 weeks to manage that when she was this little - my excessive chocolate intake seems to be creating gold top this time round!) but I'm still suffering the 10 second toe curler when she latches on - the first words she ever hears from me are "ouch f8%k cr$pping hell" until it settles down! Bad mummy.

willsmum please please speak to your doctor/HV - hopefully it's just down to hormones, but if it is PND the sooner you can get it sorted the better. I have a very good friend who battled on for months with undiagnosed PND and was in such a mess by the end, but once she was diagnosed she said it was like being reborn, and she could feel like a proper mummy/wife then. As for your DH, I agree with ghost, try talking to him and giving him specific tasks. It's a funny time for DPs - they feel like a spare part, and don't know what to do, and to a certain extent they've lost us to a wailing, pooing interloper. My DH and I had a dreadful week of barely speaking to start with, but after we thrashed it out we're back on track and it's lovely again. Remember that exhaustion is affecting how you both feel as well, and you may both end up saying/doing things you don't mean. Good luck. And there's no shame in crying (trust me, it's a lot less embarrassing than when the GP pings on his rubber gloves to diagnose piles...)

hi all, I'm new here and hoping to seek some advise... had a little girl 3 weeks ago. struggleing to settle her at night. she doesn't want to sleep anywhere but in my arms. past 2 night where horrendous- she fell asleep in my arms, as soon as i put her in her bed she was wide awake, screaming like mad. couldn't settle her yeserday all day so she seemed exhausted last night but just didn't go to sleep. feel like i'm doing something wrong as she was so upset...

My 3 wk old going through similar phase during the day. At night I've started feeding her lying down in bed and letting her fall asleep next to me on the bede and moving her when she is in deep sleep. Hasn't solved the problem during the day though.

willsmum no. Don't feel stupid. I feel very similar but am highly aware that this is depression I have, mixed in with a lovely dose of PTSD. Just as I think I'm dong ok I find myself sobbing waiting for the bus with horrid flashbacks of the birth and now, and increasingly, the 31wks scare I had. Like the others have said, mention it to you HV and if they're not responsive, your GP. Whilst what you're feeling is all 'normal' (it is, just not copable with) you shouldn't have to feel like this and there is help out there for you...and me...

Welcome mightyma! Horrid isn't it. Is there a chance your LO would co-sleep with you? I kept falling asleep with Snufflix in the early days and she basically now only co-sleeps with me at night, so looked up cosleeping. Terrifies me, but I've not rolled on her yet, and it's allowing me to get some sleep. During the day (except today, super-clingy today) she'll sleep fine in the moses basket downstairs, so I've even tried moving that, but no...she just doesn't want to sleep without someone at night. Also, def. sleep when she sleeps during the day...

parsley I was "referred" by my HV...in that she made the call to see if it was feasable as the specialist lives about an hour away (I have no idea why there isn't one in the high peak), but she runs the BF groups in her area that I could go to (but can't get to), so I think I'll go along to the ones in this area and look for some more help as my nipples are pretty sore today. I'm so glad she did push me to see the specialist, and that despite mastitis I did go. Even if in 2 weeks time we're back to bottles, that's fine. I've done everything I can.

Anyone else getting permanent headaches? I suspect it's the PND causing light referactory migraines, but there's sweet FA I can do about them. Paracetamol is of limited use (as usual) and I'm reluctent to keep having caffeine for Abi's sake...and mine, it's only a temporary fix...and will make me worse in the long run.

Oh, and if anyone has advice other than lansinoh and a proper latch for sore nipps, then please feel free to pass it on...the shields are helping a bit, but missy's latching without so would rather not.

Off to try and write some thank you cards (Snufflix-attached). Call me ungrateful but Mum's been whining at me to "get on and write them, after all, it's been a while"...whereas I'm thinking I didn't bloody ask her bizzare friend that I haven't seen for 12 years to knit my daughter something in some weird pattern and utterly unpractical fabric that I have no intention of ever dressin gher in...

Don't know what I'd do without dh. Don't want it to sound like boasting, but I am so reliant on him and sometimes he seems to be doing a better job than me.
However I an really worried about how it seems to be affecting him. He's starting opening up more about the abuse he experienced as a child at his dm's hands and is very concerned about her involvement in baby cakes' life now. I've ordered a copy of that book they all go on about in the stately homes thread - the toxic parents one... I just hope it can help him, because he won't talk to a professional about any of it... He had the opportunity to get 9 hours' uninterrupted sleep at the weekend, but lost more than 4 of that to worry.

God - what I would do for 9 hours' sleep in a row...

I suppose a new baby will always bring those sorts of feelings to the fore cakes My OH has all sorts of worries relating to his first marriage that he keeps thinking about.

thank you Oeisha. i do now and then fall asleep during the night feeds. when i wake up and the little one is asleep i quickly move her to her cot, but no luck. she'll wake up and get rather upset when she realises mummy is not there. the co-sleeping will have to do for now i guess :(

Oeisha I have been lax on the thank you cards too... I can't even remember now who bought her a present and what the last few weeks have passed in a bit of a blur!

I think Freya and I will venture to clinic to get weighed at some point this week. Trouble is, I have a choice of about 8 clinics and I don't know which one to go to! Why are they all in such horrible areas tho... god that makes me sound like a snob Have asked the advice of FB friends on where to go

re sore nips - keep going with the lanisoh and they should heal up. mine did - they were very sore and cracking about day 5-10 but are now ok

Finally written all the "thank yous"...or most of them. Waiting for the birth announcements to arrive....that has a generic thank you in it...family will just have to cope with that. Had forgotten to write a few things down, but they just got 'generic' thank yous. No doubts I've missed someone mind you.

Head's hurting still. So depressing. Snufflix is being VERY clingy too...and wanting to perma-feed...cute, but at the moment I just want to vomit on her.

cakes whilst your DH doesn't want to talk about it directly, he might be interested in cognitive behavioural exercises techniques? He knows the issues, CBT can just help him rationalise his way through it and see that he in in fact the fab daddy/husband/person he is. The actual issue is almost irrelevant for CBT, it's all about re-training the brain to think positive and cope better rather than going over the issue. Many, many books out there about it.

Re: lansinoh...is anyone else finding it near impossible to get it out the tube at points?! Seems very thick...or do I have a duff tube?

It needs warming up oiesha. Put it between yer thighs !

Good, thought the migraine was taking hold more firmly than I originally thought...weak as a friggin kitten at the moment.
Will store it near the radiator...might make it feasable to get it out the tube 1 handed.

Willsmum, you poor thing. Have some and a [cuppa] on me. Sounds like hormones to me but I'm no expert, and like someone said, better to get on the radar to people now than risk meltdown later. Are you managing to get out at least for walks or to meet friends? ANd I second the giving of specific tasks to DH, and a talking-to. Initiative doesn't seem to happen with men (I am aware this is an overgeneralisation but often true). It really annoys me when DHs use the "baby's too small and fragile" excuse to get out of doing stuff, though I know sometimes they are more hamfisted than we are (my baby's nappy always leaks if DH puts it on...)

Oeisha you sound so much more positive in your last post, glad you found the BF woman.

Cakes your DH sounds wonderful. Hope he manages to deal with his past, perhaps this will be an opportunity for him to put a few ghosts to rest?

I have to say that it has taken 3 babies for my DH to become confident and relaxed with them. He's always helped me as much as he can, pulled his weight in other respects and even done what I've asked with the baby, but I can see for the first time that he's actually enojying this baby, and even when she's screaming blue murder crying he's not stressed out by it.

Mightyma I do a mix of cosleeping and dummies if all else fails. I've found that if I put Ruta in her cot with a dummy she can suck herself to sleep (on a good night, of course). But sometimes I just let her stay in with me. DOes wrapping her in a blanket/sleeping bag before you move her (i.e. moving her actualy in warm bedclothes and not into a cold cot) not help?

Must go feed the baby - seems a shame to wake her but don't want to risk overfilling my poor aching right breast. The ABs are helping but it feels like a post-exercise stiffness in there right now. Oh and how long does it take after you get treatment for the redness to go?

AIBU to be upset that someone commented that I still have my baby tummy ( DS 3wks and 4days old when this was said..) or have you all snapped back into shape ?? : ( PS think I am getting a mild case of baby blues...must be catching as lots of you seem to be a bit chewed the pat few days... PPS oeisha I thought my lanisoh cream was off ha ha as was so hard to get it out of the blooming tube!!!!

Hi ladies

Haven't had a chance to read through the thread but thought i'd pop my head in.

I'd forgotten how nidependant my ds is now (or how reliant a newborn is). It was dp's first day back at work today and I tried to do far too much. DD was unsettled too after an equally unsettled night but we muddled through and even though I am super tired I'm just so glad I managed to get throuh the day!!

Now I just need to remember tomorrow to relax and treasure and enjoy it and not try to be superwoman!

independant

Re lanisoh - yes, it's always so solid; almost impossible to get out with carpal tunnel hands! I have to sort of squeeze it between my palms. It was 14.3 degrees up here when DD and I went to bed last night - first time I've seen the Gro Egg go blue! The heating is on constant but the thermostat is near the kitchen and we'd had the oven on a lot, so upstairs was freeeezing...

Oh what a shitty day! Dd is loaded with the cold which is making her even more of a nightmare than usual. Ds also decided to find his lungs and would be shouting (just because he can) whenever dd was quiet.
Ah well there will be more birthdays....

Mum has also been nagging about thank you cards. Iv just ordered generic photocard thank yous for everyone. Can't be arsed sitting stirring them all out.

Hope everyone with struggles are finding something to make them smile at least once in the day. I know how hard it can be some days. But these days are limited and in a few months we'll look back and remember the silver lining more than the grey cloud x

hi all, havent been on here in a while, Ame is sound asleep on her play mat looking cute as ever.

Ive started going to a breastfeeding parent and child group on a monday morning which is all right.

Has any found that they are loosing the weight dead quick. i was nearly 12 stone during pregnancy lost a stone straight away after Ame was born and have since dropped to just under 10 stone now.

Breast feeding moms- have you found you have stopped leaking uncontrolably now and its a lot less painful on each feed?

mz I've dropped all the pregnancy weight but like debs my tummy hasn't gone back in yet after 3 wks 2 days. I look about 4 months pg still . My pre pg clothes don't fit because my tummy is too big but the next size up fall down and I'm too small for the maternity clothes. I can only wear leggings and tracksuit bottoms at the mo

I'm so jealous that you guys have shed the weight already ! I am still a stone up :(

worm I've only lost it because of the GD - it severely curtailed my eating and I lost weight 3rd trimester. I've ended up a pound lighter than when I started. Without that I think I would have been about a stone up.