Dec 08 Mums - happy new year, happy new thread and soon some happy new babies!

[sybilfaulty]

Happy new year!

Sorry for the rubbish title but wanted to get the new thread underway. Let's close the door on some of the sad events of 2011 and look forward to a better year in 2012.

Oh trace how rubbish. I bet the prospective buyers are really pissed off with their parents. How ridiculous. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

ZJ Hope the beautifully feeding and sleeping baby is continuing.

ubane The zoo at half term, glutton for punishment you.

We had a loft hatch fitted on Monday and the dust in incredible. Crazy amounts of the stuff all over the place. How can it travel to a different floor through a closed door. Crazy!

Need to get sorted for DD2's birthday next week. It certainly doesn't feel like a year since she was born. No way does she look 1 year old either. I think we might have a cake on her due date in April too. Any excuse for cake .

Oh Trace - you poor lamb. Just so rubbish. Thinking of you. By the way, you are NOT rubbish at this parent thing. You do a great job, it is just HARD. I constantly feel like a crap parent and spend so much time shouting that I sometimes feel like I'm abusive. Vag and I had this conversation at the meet up back in November or December (was it so long ago??). How we've smacked our 3 year olds and then said "Sorry, but it was your fault", which is exactly what abusers say, isn't it??! Guilt is a constant in all parent/child relationships and please don't think you're rubbish. You're not. Littles just know which buttons to push. I think you're AMAZING to have taken 2 swimming at once. I certainly have never done that. I leave it to DH to do it every weekend, so I get some time off. Bliss. I'm so sorry.

Urbs - I hope the name Isabella is not indicative of loud parenting!!! EEK! My poor Whizzer. Cursed to loud showyoffy Mum. That's me!

I have a very strange tummy issue at the moment. It's rather sore with the odd dose of squits since Sunday morning (no more in my pants, thankfully). I just don't really feel like eating. Have had the odd piece of toast, but that's it. Oh and I haven't even eaten my Hotel Chocolat stuff yet. Hmmmm.

Wow, JB - can't believe it's been a year either. Wowsers!!!

Congratulations ZJ! Photos on FB are so sweet and that is a splendid name .

Indith: how long have you got to go now? Hope you get a good response from your interview.

I have had two playdates in three days. Both mums really lovely and boys enjoyed themselves, but I now want to crawl into a corner and not speak to anyone for a week. Since when did the boys have way better social lives than me? Max now wants a tot from preschool called Rosie over to play. Suppose I'd better try to identify her next week .

Hope everyone is enjoying half term/the passing of the snow/the beginning of Spring. We have bulbs coming up in the garden and we actually did some gardening today. In February! Unheard of.

Trace: I don't even try to go swimming with my two without another adult present! I am such a wimp. You are doing really well and you've had very disappointing news (curses on picky ILs everywhere). Speaking of which, can you divorce yours, Indith? They sound awful. My mum is trying to pull a similar stunt with my sister. Sister has been trying to explain why mum and dad can't come and sleep ON THEIR FLOOR for a week after the baby is born.

(sorry, this is terribly disjointed. Am cathcing up).

Vag: DS1 is a bit of a wuss when it comes to films, it all seems very real to him and that would be magnified in the cinema. He refuses to even watch Ben 10 (mind you, I'm not too bothered about that). So I wouldn't do Star Wars, but then your two might be more matter-of-fact about it all.

at beans. We know two lovely isabellas (tis a beautiful name) and to give the girl herself credit she did a bit of an eye roll at her dad when he said this

Trace you love your girls and do your best for them - we all have days like that - although heroic to take them both swimming. so wearing when they row. Glad side effects are dying down. Really sorry to hear about the house - how rotten for the buyers though. In laws...

Indith your inlaws sound like mine. I've come to the conclusion that on things that really matter to you - the only way is to be really explicit. Sigh. Having made great strides (although to my shame I find I still haven't quite forgiven them for how they were post the birth of DS) we went back to square 1 when they insisted on staying the weekend for DS's birthday party. DH was going to be really firm and tell them no and I should have let him but I didn't want to hurt their feelings. I could moan for hours about various things but I think problem is that DH is very different from his siblings. PILs have v dependent relationship with other DC - they still do loads of stuff for them and both DH I think have been fiercely independent since being v young and PILs can't quite work out how to have a familial relationship where we don't need them, but would still like to have a relationship with them. Worrying thing is that a couple of things MIL did has made me genuinely doubt whether I want to leave DCs with them. And if we're not careful it will all become a bit toxic/passive aggressive and I don't want the DCs to be around anything like that. Double sigh.

Effie have realised one of my half done posts was to say how nice it was to see you briefly and also that I'm sure I saw you again on a BB4 prog recently. And really confused my DH by saying - it's Effie when your actual name came up. Know what you mean about playdates. I find the DCs really challenge my natural anti-social tendencies.

DS is a complete wimp - as am I. We had to leave the cinema in the lion king (meanwhile DD was down from her seat dancing around to all the songs). We would have nightmare central if he watched anything like starwars but I know one of his little chums has seen it and loved it.

Beans sorry to hear your stomach is still bad - must have been a rotten bug. I have eaten all my chocolates and like kiwi actually put on weight since giving birth. But then I do when breastfeeding and when i'm eating gallons of homemade ice cream Ho hum. DD2 is grinning away like anything though so don't really care and already planning to wear double spanks for posh do we have in a couple of weeks rather than eat less.

JB I can't believe it's been a year. ARe you having a party?

LadyT hope you are enjoying your mum's. DD1 is v clinging with me and I agree with Aubs about 3s being worse than 2s. Aub am about your holidays. Sound fabulous and how lovely to have it all booked.

Urbs I half read your post about the loud parenting and I misread it as parents shouting at their children. Which I always do when out and about. Always fishwife ing at my boys

Trace am very and on your behalf. Chin up you will get there eventually.

Beans poor you with your tummy.

Bit of a post and dash. Am halfway home from a lovely break in Scotland. Am staying with my sister in Halifax before finishing the journey back to Essex tomorrow. Will be back soon for a proper catch up.

Gosh DD2 is a little vomit machine at the moment. Poor little thing. It's a huge test for me having had that CBT for my vom phobia last year. I am doing pretty well for me but DH deserves man of the year award, he is such a star cleaning up all the sick, cuddling vom soaked DD2, cheering me up with jokes about it all. And I have laughed which is serious progress.

I will raise your in-law tales with a step father tale. My long hated step father lives in California. He is old & sick and asked me to visit him. This has turned onto us all going out for the summer. Amazingly he is paying for our flights so he deserves much thanks. Without him we couldn't dream of going. But his conditions are that I breakfast with him but without the kids for the five nights we are in his area. And DH must have a beer with him without the kids each eve. Seriously, he does not want to even meet our girls. And he thinks it's OK to make us socialise with him & without each other. Gah. The rest of the holiday will be wonderful: staying on a ranch, visiting old friends, whale watching etc BUT those 5 days fill me with dread.

Crikey, Aubi. That's unreasonable of him, but then - I guess if he is sick a little less so.

Wanted to do big catch up but my long nails (don't even like them, they are going tomorrow) and my BlackBerry aren't a good combo.

But I really wanted to commiserate with Trace - v upset for you re: house. The flaky sods! As for the girls - you take two of them swimming, on your own? I would not even dare attempt this! Er...well, maybe when they are in like DOUBLE FIGURES. Love to you.

And to you all! Having a lovely time at Mum's. Have to share my bed with DD1 when I am here (and a room with DD2 also) but I enjoy it. Apart from sleeping in crumbs from toast in bed every morning. By the end of the week there'll be more crumbs than bed.

I'm annoyed, I wish I had a computer/broadband here. My personals will have to wait. I wonder how our new baby ZJ is? I loved the pics on FB. Fuzzy newborns - how gorgeous.

JB, how the time has fled. But JJ's DD2 and WG's DD2 are a similar age. Amazing.

DD1 said tonight: "I have done a LAKE of wee. And the poo floating on top is a BIG FROG.". Great imagery. Horrible in enactment.

I love O's imagery.

I know I must sound callous not being more sympathetic about my step father's ill health, Lady. The fact is that I suspect much of it is self inflicted due to four decades of smoking cannabis every single day and spending most of the 70s coked up to the eyeballs. He now has something similar to early parkinsons which is horrid but maybe not surprising. Plus I can't help compare the way he is reacting to his illness with how my mum faced terminal cancer. She was brave, optimistic and inspirational throughout. Even at this early (& mild) stage my step father is bitter, defeatist and has given up on life.

One reason he has for not wanting to meetgnu girls is that they will remind him that he was never blessed with children. The girls would treat him as a real grandfather if he wanted that experience. He can't see that he's denying himself a chance to experience family.

Anyhow, must stop ranting. Sorry everyone. Am slightly wound-up as I wait for next vom fest.

:( Aubi. I was all ready to be at his expectations until your last post. He is still being a stubborn, grumpy old thing but the family part made me feel very sad for him. My FIL's partner is similar (not drugged, ill or ancient!). She and FIL have been together a long time now and apparently they did talk about children at one time but she wasn't ready to fully commit. they lived in separate houses for most of their relationship and only sold their own homes and moved in together a couple of years ago. She deeply regrets not having her own children and while she is wonderful with ours when she does see them it can be a year or more between visits from her, she is always doing something else. She will never let herself get close even though if she wanted to be she would be just as much a grandparent as the rest of them.

Trace rubbish news on the house.

Swimming with 2 of them? Bloody hell anyone who can do that deserves an award! They won't even let you at our pool. Under 5s has to be one to one and over 5 one to 2 so I can't take mine on my own. Once the baby arrives we won't even be able to take them all as a family!

Ah poo imagery. We used to get a full on description for each and every poo from dd. We had rainbow poos, cat poos (when it curls all the way round in the potty and the ends cross over so they look like pointy cat ears) and goodness knows what over sort of poo. then we get watery wees and egg wees (when it is really yellow, our potty is white!). Delightful things children .

I get my babies back today!

Beans how is your tummy? Sounds quite like mine was. Some days ok-ish so I'd eat a bit then back to uncontrollable splatting when it would get to the stage there was nothing but frothy liquid coming out (sorry). I spent a while week eating nothing but toast and rice with the odd plain, rich tea biscuit to nibble on if feeling nauseous. After a week I added a little bit of white meat, then a little bit of veg and so on. I think with these things you really have to make yourself stick to the BRAT diet until it passes however tempting it is to eat other things. Treat yourself like you would your kids!

Must go dry my hair and head to the post office.

Aubs - I can see why you're feeling furious about it. But I also think you're being more sympathetic than you realise. You are making allowances for his illness and understand his sadness at not having his own family. BUT, you're right, he is being a fool as you're willing to offer him a chance of having his own family, with no conditions, which is lovely of you. Silly old man. And your poor DD. Yucky. You're coping admirably!

Indith - I feel so much better today. I fear your illness was far worse than mine. Honestly, I just felt a bit off and didn't want to eat, which is no bad thing as I can't seem to shift my last few lbs that I want to be rid of! I still haven't, despite the non-eating. And the odd bout of squits. I did a solid poo this morning, so am delighted! Most satisfying. The squits have done my little pile friend no good at all!

Yes, we used to get a lot of poo imagery as well. Castle poos, dinosaur poos, all sorts. Was almost quite genius, as is O's, Lady! Your Mum's sounds blissful, with breakfast in bed. However, I don't think I could stomach sharing a bed with DD1 for very long. I can manage a room, but bed, not so much!

So, I have some news on Dad. He had some scan results yesterday, which were really positive. The tumours on his lungs have shrunk more and the tumours in his leg, although they haven't shrunk, haven't grown either. Which is fantastic. So he has 6 more weeks of chemo, then another scan. Then he has 6 months off! With a scan after 3 months. Then in Sept/Oct time, they'll probably start him on either radiotherapy or more chemo, depending what state he's in. So, although the chemo nearly did him in at one stage, he's managed to buy himself more time, which is just wonderful! He's so pleased. The tumours are never going to go and they will kill him, but not for 6 months or so yet! Honestly, he is on corking form now and so happy. He's had 2 weeks off chemo and is back on it again today. But I think he almost welcomes how rotten it makes him feel as he knows it's working! And it hasn't given him pneumonitis. I am so glad.

AND speaking of summer holidays (Aubs, think you were??), he has booked our long lost Greek Mark Warner holiday that we never went on last year! A freebie! So we go for the first week of June, which is half term. All of us. That's 14 of us - 6 kids and 8 adults. With my dreaded BIL and his alcoholism, my dreaded sister and her selfishness and her dreaded little bastard of a son and her gorgeous daughter. BUT it's a free holiday, so I mustn't look a gift horse in the mush and all that. I mentioned to Dad that perhaps we could all not be put in rooms near to eachother and luckily he agreed! Phewweeeeeeeeee!

AND we have also booked a week staying at a friend's Mum's villa near Gibraltar in mid-May. Holiday-tastic! There'll be 6 adults and 6 nippers on that. All sharing rooms again. Will be fab. I can't WAIT! A lovely swimming pool and lots of sunshine.

THEN in August, I am going to head to North Wales for 2 weeks, as it's probably Dad's last summer up there. DH is going to join us for a long weekend in the middle, but I am going to hang with the girls for two whole weeks. Brilliant! I can't wait! I am a lucky duck. Woop! Although have just made self cry talking about it being Dad's last summer. Noodle.

Wow, I am bleating on again. Now Rubes has gone awol, I have taken on the rambling crown. Although think will be Bumbling Beans instead of Rambling Rubes.

Rubes - are you ok out there???

Kiwi - how is the sleep coming on? I see DD1 is ill at the moment. Poor little bear.

Blathering Beans in fact.

Beans, I am so thrilled about that news regarding your Dad's scan. A bit of respite for him (and all of you) - magnificent.

Aubi, I don't think you're remotely callous. It's easy for me to feel sorry for him, I don't have to put up with him. But I do pity him as he sounds thoroughly wretched.

Still haven't done my big catch up though I have filed my annoying nails right down so it's easier to type on my BlackBerry. Might come back when I'm in bed. In all the crumbs. However many I brush out, more seem to appear. DD1 is quite a pleasant bedfellow these days.

Lady I quite love bed snuggles, in fact if dh is away I have them both in with me. But we did Co sleep so I think they wriggle less than the average snuggler. They are definitely quieter than dh who snores so loudly I can't get to sleep sometimes.

Beans that news is lovely, thank you for sharing.

Aubi your step father is to be pittied but he isn't half a bloody selfish old bugger, he is basically denying the girls a grandparent when they have so few.

I have sprained my other ankle, I can't believe it, I did it the same way as the first time, jumping off our bed and onto a toy! Not a ukele though. The boys had a friend over yesterday who for some reason took several of their toys into our room. Ds2 bless him helped me tidy up most of it up but there was a telescope still on the floor. I am supposed to be having a PT session tomorrow and have booked a 5 km race on the 11th March.

Vag: if your ankles are playing up would it be better to ditch the race in favour of sitting with your feet up?

Beans: that is great news about your Dad. He is doing so well. Hooray for holidays!

No news here, except that DS2 has started a jigsaw craze. He spends ages putting them together again and again (must get more jigsaws). Funny boy. DS1 enjoying half term - school seems to have settled down, thank goodness. Which reminds me, he needs a haircut before he goes back. Starting to look like a mop again.

Oh and I took DS1 for his first sight test this week. I am terribly short-sighted, but luckily he seems to have inherited his dad's eyesight, because he passed with flying colours. I asked about DS2 but he's a bit young yet - will take them both next year.

Beans that's lovely news about your Dad. I am very of all your lovely holidays. We might be going to cornwall in Nov but that's more to see friends.

I should be married now. it's probably a good thing actually as DS2 has spent all day coughing. I am hoping he sleeps tonight.

Hope you're all well.

Morning all. Beans thats such positive news about your dad, well done him!

We are house of germs - I've had DD1s illness for a few days - horrible. Temperature, chills then sweating like a pig. Disgusting.

However am more concerned about DD1- she came down with the bug on Monday, had to come home from nursery. Got better by Wednesday. Back on Thursday - but then relapsed yesterday and had to come home again and now has temperature again (and slept for 13 hours last night !) Am just a bit worried as she was absolutely fine and now poorly again. Is that normal? I haven't taken her to the doctor as there doesn't seem to be anything specific (sore throat or something) but now worried that I should have done? Any advice? She's never been poorly for so long before so it's a bit out of character

Kiwi it might be that as she was recovering from the first bug her immune system was a bit battered so she picked up another one so this is a second bug. Just keep an eye on her, if her temp doesn't improve with calpol, or she is a bit too unwell for your liking, call your on call GP service. Oh and there is always NHS direct or that new 111 number.

Thanks Vag! She seems ok - temp down w calpol and have persuaded her to have a nap with me. Wish I could go to sleep as quickly! From bouncing on bed to sleep in 2 minutes.. Think you must be right about immune system - her nursery is absolutely awash with bugs at the moment

Oh and DD2 is now suddenly reaching for things! Must have read my posting on it and decided to get a wriggle on

Oh sorry I forgot to comment on the reaching thing. I can't for the life of me remember when it is, I think anywhere between 5-7months. But really a lack of it has to be taken in the context of the whole baby before you would be worried about developmental stuff. Generally, if a baby is otherwise engaging you just wait and see. But she is stepping up by the sounds of it anyway.

I just played a YouTube vid that Bisou posted on FB and DS2 was leaning on my shoulder and watching too. It was about 7mins long. He made a comment halfway through and then by the end of it he was asleep. I guess all those baby classic CDs at bedtime as a baby had an effect.

Kiwi I agree with Vag about it being an additional virus. DD1 has yet another high temp bug and we've only just shaken off the last one. Hope your DD feels better soon. Don't forget you can give brufen and calpol for high temps.

Beans Fantastic news about your dad.

I'm hiding in the loo for 5 mins peace. Both girls are tired and under the weather AGAIN and the whinging is just too much. That sounds awful of me.

Hope all is well with you ZJ. I expect you are lurking whilst feeding!

I'm now on meds to lower my blood pressure as after almost a year my pre eclampsic bp is still here. Fought my corner to get ones compatable with bf, although the consultants I'm dealing with thought it was odd to bf past 6 months.

I can hear laughing downstairs, it must be safe to go down. Byeeee.

JB I was told by a consultant that there was no diffence between BM and formula from 6 months (shock) wish I knew then what I do now. I really wander where medics get their information from and why they aren't more clued up on these things. Sorry to hear about your BP, surely they are thinking that it's not pre-eclampsia now though?