Feb 2011: the one where the babies are destruction machines

[ChestnutsREASTIEingOnTheFire]

...or is that just mine?

Reastie - she is not up to visitors at the min, just immediate family. She is a very fit and healthy 29 year old, so i am hoping that is on her side. I mind her son, so I can at least help out with child care out of hours if needed.

Hey girls

blizy that is so awful, I didn't know someone so young could even have a stroke. Hope she recovers fully and quickly. You are lovely helping out with her DS.

Nice to hear from you tarlia, remind me where you are again?

Well flipping heck that was a day. Funeral was wonderful, in Canterbury Cathedral, they'd closed most of it for the service, there were over 550 people there apparently. It was a beautiful service and a lovely way to say goodbye. We had a glass of wine afterwards to toast Amanda. She was a dear, good, good woman.

Then went shopping for a friend- 2 small DDs who are everything-intolerant- no DP- she has been passing out and been in and out of hospital, poor poor woman, had the roughest of times. She cannot do anything atm, she's pretty much incapacitated. So picked her up some shopping then went home, cooked her tea, then took it round and did her washing for her!

Then home, cooked tea for my lot, put them in bed (not DH), then went out again and did the proper shop. Just got home and collapsed on the sofa (after putting the bloody shopping away!)

Wow that was dull, think I need to get to bed....

Hi to everyone else xxx

deb The funeral sounds very fitting. Sounds like a very busy day,did you fit in any running too?
reastie how was work?Im quite enjoying being back now. I saw my first clients today and was fine,i also wowed my moron boss with my knowledge which was funny,he's only ever known me with my baby brain.
ponyo I wish i had a touchwood near me.Poor A with her teeth.
blizy how awfull,as you said not uncommon though,rehab is a lot better these days so hope she makes a good recovery.
Well despite my epithanny i put my flaming ear plugs in last night to let dh deal with Dilly.She keeps waking up crying and then it takes ages to settle her back off but even tho she seems sound asleep as soon as i leave the room she screams,i just am at a loss,going to try putting her in with us if she wakes tonight but it doesnt normally work.
Im going to post on sleep to see what others think.
Ella got a call back for Bugsy Malone,we find out tomorrow if she has got in so fingers crossed.Its her birthday on Sat so ma having 6 girls to sleepover and then its Dillys birthday on the Friday so we are taking her to soft play for lunch then a family party at night.Ive bought her a jack in a box.

ledkr fingers crossed for Ella (although do you want all the extra chauffeuring work?!). Is she still being murderous? BIL/SILs dd who is 9/10 is apparently being quite 'difficult' - do the hormones start kicking in around then? Re: work - I'm already thinking I may end out giving it up . I've slotted back to actually teaching better than expected and I'm v glad I've made myself go back as I feel like a real person again which is great so it's good for me but I've been struggling with prep/marking/paperwork type stuff. I forgot how long it all takes. If I just worked the hours I teach I'd be v happy but I've spent hours and hours extra this past week and it's only going to get worse. I posted on a thread about teachers and how they manage work/life balance and seems most don't. I seem to in some aspects of teaching have as much (or nearly as much) stuff to do as full timers but I'm paid less than half. It's an ongoing issue I think most part timers have. I can see my life will be dashing to get to work, dashign at work, dashing home and madly trying to do work in any spare minute at home and it's not what I want form my life. I'm only having 1 child and I don't want to waste away the years I can enjoy with her. We sort of need the money for me to work but we can get by OK without me working. I'm giving it till easter to assess and then make my decision in the summer. DH says I should keep a log of how much work I do outside my official hours so that if I do end out regularly working heaps more so it would equate to barely any pay for what time I do it will be something solid to help make my decision with. That was v long and boring wasn't it

tarlia things are OK - busy with work at the min

deb wow to the funeral at the cathedral. You have been superwoman today by the sounds of things

Hi all,

ledkr I've found sometimes going in to A when she is crying can make it worse, I try and sneak in early to put the dummy in (but D doesn't have one does she?) and that can settle her, otherwise its hard as she just wakes herself up and waahs more when I leave the room. So not v helpful, sorry, but hope you find something that works soon. Fair enough with the ear plugs, let dh deal with her instead! Happy birthday to lovely Ella for fri :)

deb your day sounds so sooooo busy, wow. Glad funeral service was fitting, and what a lot of people. Sorry to hear about your other friend too.

Same to blizy, 29 is so young, I also had no idea that someone that age could have a stroke. Hope you are ok and you sound like a good friend too.

reastie hows work? I might have to investigate these baby backpack thingys, I think A would like it too...

tarlia hi!! Night times sound like a pain in the bum, poor you. Nice to hear from you though and hope you're all doing good otherwise :)

delia boo for sh!tey work, we just had another round of redundancies but all of my team are ok thankfully, however there will be more in Oct and then again the year after, this basically means I can't have any time off sick at all Yay for your sis though, how exciting!

at all of the babies birthdays and being so exhausting, not long now for us (Dilly first!)

Work was ok today, A was ok-ish at nursery but they said she was "not herself", poor babies and their teeth. When I picked her up she was standing up holding onto a low table, her keyworker said that she kept moving her but as soon as she turned around she was back standing up at the table - she knows what she wants to do!

Oh bugger got birthdays wrong ledkr sorry - happy birthday for Sat Ella :)

Hi ladies, am v pleased to be indoors cause its sooo frosty and cold outside!
ledkr fingers crossed for Ella! Will we see her on Got to Dance next year? (if I had a dancing child I'd make them go on purely so I could meet the delish Ashley Diversity!)
ponyo poor A, teeth are a pain.
reastie If you think you will genuinely be happier staying at home, then you should def give up work. The fact that you are already thinking about it so soon speaks volumes, and at the end of it, money is so not everything. However do you think you'd miss the job itself? I really struggle with the lack of independence now I'm a SAHM and am just trying to enjoy the positive side of it til September when I start college!
blizy your poor friend, I really hope she makes a full recovery. How shocking at 29.
deb glad funeral went well, sounds like yesterday was v busy tho!
We have been to our usual Tuesday singing group, so have been teaching Cass how to clean up with a J cloth, sorry feminists :) So cute she has finally learned a proper word... its uh-mah and it means dummy!

Quick hello, blizy so sorry about your friend, but at 29 there should be a lot they can do if they were able to treat her quickly, will keep her in my thoughts xx

debka glad funeral was all that your Mums friend would have wanted.

MizK Olivia got a cleaning set for Christmas, complete with trolley, mop, bucket , she loves it

ledkr fingers crossed for Ella.

reastie only you can decide re work but I only work for money, I can't afford not too. If I could afford not to, I wouldn't.

Anna was at pils while I was at work yesterday and she kept creeping out to the front door, banging it and making a Mama noise. She went mad when she saw the car

Oh blizy sorry to hear about your friend. It seems just sooooo young. Hopefully there will be lots they can do though. My friend's Dad had one quite young (well 40s) and made a remarkable recovery.

reastie sorry the work situ is not working out. I can see what you mean re full time job but part time pay. It's not good, for your health/sanity, for Alice or for your bank balance. If you can afford not to, and want to be a SAHM, then you should do it. And you had your idea re kids cookery classes etc. so that's something to plan for the future.

Ponyo sorry A is struggling with teeth etc. it's sad when they're at nursery and they say they've not been quite right. She'll be OK tho, lots of TLC and one day, teething will be a distant memory.

Ledkr sorry you've got sleep issues again with Dilly, don't know what to suggest but you have my sympathies.

Well, I've decided that contract tie-in or not, I'm looking for a new job. If by some miracle I get offered something, and the money is right, and hours, location etc. are right, then I can argue the toss with current employers re tie-in period. I am thinking since chances are I will have done 9/12 months of the tie-in, I could offer to pay them the 3/12 for the remaining period, or something. Will cross that bridge when I come to it. So anyway, I'm telling you lot, as of course I can't tell anyone else except DH, but I am officially job-hunting!

D

blizy any update on your friend?

wiggles love the story of anna at your pils, is mrw up to babysitting yet?

d sounds like a good plan to look for work, at least you're being proactive in getting out of your cr@ppy situation

mizk to you trying anything to meet diversity

MIL came over to see dh alice while I was at work today and go through points for when she looks after alice. I want to cry at the thought.

Re: work - I thought you would all shake me and tell me off for considering giving up work . Won't make a decision until at least easter . I'm going to chat to the learning support dept at the school to see if they might have work in the future for me (half the money but more only working the hours I'm paid) or doing some exam invigulation - which apparently my technician has started doing as they were short on bods - that would be a v easy way (if a little dull) of making a little extra money in exam time

Reastie - she will be fine. No lasting effects, it was a mini stroke and her bloody drama queen mum played up on it a bit!
I agree with the others re work, money isn't the only thing in life. You work to live, not live to work - as my dad says! I am pleased that your Dh is agreeing with you too.

Ledkr- did Ella get the part?

Wiggles- at Anna. Ohhh I might be in Belfast the end of the month or start of feb for the weekend. Dh is working in NI and I may just pop over for the weekend.

More sad news for me today, my uncle died. His funeral is on Friday in the same place I had Zoe's, I can't do it, I can't go. I just know my aunt will disown me completely for it ( the same one who caused a ruckus about wedding invite).

hope you are all ok < waves to the lurkers>.

Hi Blizy (Emski the Official Lurker waves back).
Sorry about your uncle and his funeral being in the same place as Zoe's. I know your aunt is grieving but if she can't understand why you can't go to the funeral then do be it. I'm sure most people would feel exactly the same.
Glad your friend is going tove ok.

Reastie, if you can afford it, give up work. I would love to be at home with my boys every day, but we definitely need my pay.

Delia, good that you've decided about work, no point going into work and being unhappy.

Ledkr, good luck to Ella on getting the part! And Happy Birthday to her for Saturday. Cant believe one of our babies is going to be 1 soon! Sorry D isnt sleeping too well,maybe it is her teeth. Noah is really suffering with then at the moment, I cuddled him to sleep last night and it was lovely, in my mind I was thinking of what you said about just giving baby a cuddle when they need it.

Things are busy here. We have Noah's Christening on Sunday nd are trying to find out who's coming as only three people have RSVP'd. Sil is back fom Oz for a month so that's good.we get on really well so it'll be nice to have her company when dh is working his usual long hours!
The woman at work that I had a 'thing' with last week hasvgone in to see my boss saying she can't sleep and keeps being sck because of what happened between us last week. He suggested we move desks, I felt like telling her to grow up, were meant to be adults! I went in this morning with a piece of paper with notes I'd made with dh last night, think my boss was quite taken back. Funny how she's suffering so badly from anxiety but seems pretty chatty with everyone at the moment and spent most of today cackling at her own jokes! One word for her and that's 'bitch'.

Hope y'all are ok. There I've lurked for a few days, now rambled on. That's why I lurk!

blizy good news about your friend , please, please, please, down on bended knee please come over I'll buy you a drink cup of coffee

Sorry about your uncle, completely understand re not going to the same place as Zoes funeral, your aunt will just have to lump it.

reastie Mr W can't lift Anna, on account of her hugeness and her amazing kicking ability. He has a Dr appt on Thu and hopefully his stitches out on Fri morning, so it'll be easier for him to baby wrangle. His stooped shuffle has started to straighten up and he is slightly more mobile, but won't be driving for a bit.

deliaskis good plan re work, you're right - worry about telliing your current employer when you find another job

tarlia meant to say, lovely to hear from you again.

Think I might go with my Mum tomorrow and get Annas first pair of shoes, can't believe how quickly time is going

oohh wigges it would be fab to meet up with you if I come over!

wiggs and emski Thank you for your comments, I know ianbu about the funeral but out of my family I am the only person to think this! I have volunteered to mind my nephew so my sister can go to the funeral though.

emski I hope your boss sees right through the bitch workmate.

Right I'm off to get ready for bed before I partake in some guilt tv watching, going to watch the woman with 15 kids on channel 4.

Wiggles you prob know this already being a third timer but I got really excited when I went to clarks to get alice for a pair of cruiser shoes they took a piccie of her in the shop buying her first pair of shoes as a keepsake

blizy glad your friend is OK but to the mum for making you worry so much. I completely understand re: funeral. Don't make yourself just because your aunt might not understand, everyone will understand. x

Greetings ems good to hear from you and sorry things with the colleague is still dragging on, and tbh that work hadn't moved your desks already

Well, it had to happen sooner or later, I had a 'I can't cope with this' breakdown re: work . Here's hoping I'll be up with the larks feeling more positive tomorrow . And when I say we can cope with just DHs income, I should expand that we can pay the bills and essentials and have a little bit of spare cash left but our house is gradually falling apart and needs thousands on it to get it all sorted...but I guess I could live a dump of a house in exchange for time with alice

Hi all.
wiggs is A actually proper walking? Wow. Give mr w a good dig from me im disapointed at O's cleaning trolley tho,my ds2 had an ironing board when he was 2,he irons obsessively now and used to do mine for his pocket money
blizy I avoid funerals and ive not got your reason to do so,stick to your guns my love and do whatever you need to. I am expecting some good news soon from you too
reastieNot sure how i feel about your work cos ive always worked even when we didnt need the money and i do love it.I feel so much more confident and alive since i went back. However,historically i dont think you enjoy your job and there is nothing worse. It would be nice to have the time with Alice wouldnt it?and mil would be foiled in her evil plans.
ems Did you have to go to church regularly to get Noah christened?I must arrange D's,its so late that she can now wear Ellas dress.I just cant face the overnight accomodation that i know will come with it. (pils)
deliasA year tie in seems a long time,i have to stay for 3 months,im glad you have made a decision,i may look elsewhere soon too,im public sector so its getting more annoying,ive lost my car allowance,had a pay freeze and my pension is worth zilch,i wonder why i bother tbh.

Well ive not heard from the theatre,i have conflicting stories re casting times. Ella said Tuesday but then said in a week so who knows.Ill keep you posted.

Im watching the loads of kids women,i cant understand it myself it seems more like an institution than a family home amd what those women put their bodies through???

Im in bed with a cold and achy sinus's.Dh is revising for his sgt exams.Im wondering what Dills has in store for us tonight.

Hello all. Sorry for being a stranger. I've struggled to keep up with all the posts and felt rude when I didn't read everything so I thought I'd give myself a break over the Christmas holidays. But I do miss you all! I hope everyone is doing well and I can't believe the babies are almost one!

I've just read this page so apologies for missing anyone out. I don't blame you for not going to the funeral blizy and I'm sorry you're uncle passed away.

Sorry MrW isn't well wiggles - I hope it is not too serious.

Part-time is really hard in schools reastie, but you do have to seriously restrict yourself. I loved doing the two full days when A was small, but you have to be firm about how many extra hours you do.

Hope Ella gets the call back ledkr, and also has a happy birthday.

Good luck with the christening Emski!

Sorry for missing anyone out. Dh has to start the internet again (working all hours as usual!)

Morning all
Can I have a quick moan about mil?? Good, here goes.
I've bee trying to limit Noah's mornings nap to half hour the last few weeks, and nursery have been doing the same. This way he has a long afternoon nap and seems to sleep better at night.
Mil, as usual listens the does her own thing. Yesterday I had to wake Noah at 7am, I told her this and asked her to give him half hour nap in the buggy during the morning. So she put him in his cot at 8.30 and let him sleep until 11! She'd said while I was there in the morning that he was rubbing his eyes and muttered to FIL that if she put Noah in his cot he would sleep. I've told her before that if you give him a snack and take him out he tends to refresh and wake up. I believe that due to his over napping yesterday (he also had an hours nap in the afternoon) he was awake nd and chatting at 1.30am and 3.30am, then awake and crying at 5am. It sounds like he's gone back to sleep now though.
Thanks for listening guys. I hate confrontation so I've emailed her a polite request to do as she's told, showed it to dh before sending it.

Ledkr, we've been to church over Xmas and dh has gone to communion a few times since we arranged the Christening. The Reverend said we should go to church if we're having Noah Christened as we hadn't been since having Ben Christened three years ago. We're going to try to go to the family service once a month and dh will go more often.

Tad, good to hear from you.

Reastie, I'm sorry you feel your not coping with work etc. can I confess that I have one of those breakdowns every few months when the pace of it all gets to me?

Right, better go and start getting ready for work before the chaos starts! Love to all

Ems-Id be fuming too.At least you can truthfully tell her the consequences of her actions.Its funny but since i had D dil has said several times "you told me not/to do this and that with dgs" it seems we mils sometimes forget what its like.
No danger of that happening here tho.D went down at 7then up at 12 till 2.30am would go to sleep but woke as soon as i attempted to leave the room even if she seemed sound asleep.Over and over again.She even keeps looking up to check we are there when she is going off to sleep.I left her to cry in the end and she went off eventually then woke again at 5.30 very tired but refusing to sleep.
I just am at a loss now. I would try co sleeping but she doesnt seem any better if i do and also i cant imagine never being able to have a night out as the babysitter would have to sleep with her and we couldnt have adrink if she was in with us either,ive only go a standard double bed too so not sure we would get much rest.
I was thinking of trying the travel cot in our room so she can be closer to us but then it means we'd have to be tiptoeing around our room etc.
I may have to get in a sleep consultant cos its really driving me mad and me and dh are getting snipey with eachother too.

emski Im on your behalf. I hope mil will follow Noah's routine from now on.

ledkr sorry dilly is not sleeping too well. Well you learn something everyday, I had no idea sleep consultants existed!

tad Hi, i have missed your chat! Hope yo and the kids are well.

reastie I too have breakdowns about work and not coping, I am seriously considering giving up childminding. I think you should do what is best for you and Alice, you could seriously think about venturing into cooking parties/lessons for children?

I am having a quiet day, well once I take the kids to school. Oops got to go, they have just arrived.

Hi people, am posting from my phone at work before everyone arrives

Em ski that is so annoying about mil, hope she listens to you (as she should)

Ledkr sorry about d and lack of sleep, if you can get a sleep consultant in then why not, def worth a try let us know if you do I am intrigued!

Blizy hope you enjoy your day, sorry to hear you're feeling like that about work. Are you going to set a time to see how you feel about things, maybe a few months?

Hi tad, nice to hear from you

I can't remember what else has been said but have decided to contribute to the moaning (emski ) with a moan about dp. He spent all last night not talking to me bcos I told him he needs to pay more attention to A, this is when me and A had got back from nursery and he was sat in his chair on the Internet, A was stood up next to him grinning away at him and still remained glued to the screen

My boss is here now better go

blizy Being at home with your your own children is isolating and depressing so i can imagine it must be soul destroying at times for you.
Maybe you should look at doing something else,i did that when ttc Ella and was pg within 6 months. I am going to train to do eyelash extentions next month,its another string to my bow.What do you fancy doing?
ponyo Dh blocks out the entire world when he is on the pc,we row about it more than anything else.

Ponyo - DH does that as well. He puts L on his knee and when he starts fussing because he's tired/hungry/bored/whatever, he bounces him a bit and SHHHHHHs while never taking his eyes off the screen.

Emski - I can't believe your MIL. Hopefully she sees now why you do what you doand is not just being passive aggressive.

blizy - As everyone already said, don't let anyone pressure you into going to the funeral if you don't want to. Your aunt's grief doesn't trump yours.

reastie - Give it a few months and if you still want to stay home (and can afford it), do it and don't feel bad about it. Maybe you'll settle into a routine and find everything much easier.

Delia - What type of backpack do you have? DH won't wear the sling and I think L's getting too big for it anyway.

I don't know if anyone remembers KnitterNotTwitter from the antenatal thread? I saw her on another thread and she's about 20 weeks pregnant now.

I also meant to ask food questions:

1. How much milk are the bottle-fed babies having now? I have no idea how much L should have now that he's exclusively FF.

1. Do all the babies go through periods where they won't eat anything and other times eat everything not nailed down? The manager of the nursery spoke to me about L not eating much lately, he's not been eating much at home either but he also isn't drinking loads of milk or up all night wanting to eat. I told her I wasn't concerned because his weight is fine but she seemed worried he wasn't eating. Am I right to just let it go for now?

ledkr I still want to work with children, I was thinking of a nursery position. I want my house back for a while, fed up with other people's kid trashing it! However I don't want to shoot myself on the foot as I would return to childminding when/if I ever have any more children.
The training sounds fab! The only other thing I have wanted to is become a Midwife. (not going to happen now)