October 2011 - our happy, chatty babies!

[GroovyRach]

...

Happy New Year everyone

Happy New Year all!

Re more children, we were hoping for a 3 year age gap but fell pg easier than expected - ds was 2 and 4.5 months when girls arrived and it's very hard with toddlers (mostly during pg and immediately afterwards) although obviously wouldn't change them all for the world! I'd go for small-ish gap (up to 18months) or larger one 3-4 if we were to do it again (but trust me if we do it again, it would be a much, much, much larger one!!!). I wasn't ready for more kids til ds was 18 months (dh wanted one straight away!!)

We've dtd once and was much nicer post girls than post ds (internal stitching = ouch!!) I'm just so tired though all I want to do at night is sleep!!!

We have 19 months, I don't know what I would have done if DD wasn't still having 2 naps a day in the last few weeks of pg. I found months 15-19 quite intense with her, she could get everywhere but lacked the comprehension. However I now feel we're saying goodbye to that and things are alright although with an active toddler, the fact it gets dark so early is hard at times. So I love the gap. DS is the easier one but I can't say the pg was planned so took a while to work out how things would go with jobs/moving etc plus also get my head round the idea.

Ooh penguin we have 19mo between DD1 and DS and I loved it. Pregnancy was hard because DD1 still needed lifting and carrying a lot but once DS arrived it was much better. I got them both napping for a couple of hours over lunch so I always had a bit of time to catch up on sleep or relax myself. Also DD was still in nappies, still had milk before bed, still used the buggy etc so we hadn't left all the trappings of babyhood behind.

My sister had 3.5 yr gap and found it really hard because her DC1 was used to having her full attention and struggled with the new status quo. Sis is SAHM though so might be different if you work.

We have the same 3.5 gap this time between DS and DD2 and it's been fine but again I think it's because DS has always shared us with his big sister so adjusted pretty quickly.

Happy New Year to everyone!

We are thinking more of a bigger age gap of 3-4 possibly 5 years, we would like more but having had a fairly stressful pregnancy and with not knowing yet what if any treatment DS will need I'm to sure if we could do it again soon.

Hope every one had a good new year, today started with W vomiting down himself, me, a chair and over the floor! Didn't know he could hold so much.

We are wanting another in 3/4 years.

We will probably start ttc again when DD is about 18 months. Don't want to leave it too much longer in case it takes a while to succeed but don't want it to be any sooner than that really. We have to plan carefully as my DH takes medication that he has to stop 6 months before we can start trying or else it could harm the baby.

Amazing how quickly things change, just a few weeks ago I thought I wouldn't want any more children but I'm already back to wanting 3 now! DH only wants 2 though so I'll have to work on that.

I was saying to my mum earlier, as much as my whole labour and birth was a horrific experience and at the time I thought I was dying, I would do it all again in a heartbeat . Funny that eh lol

What a night! L fed every hour from 8pm till 3am - for at least 30 mins each time. I'm shattered. We're at my ILs so she's maybe a bit unsettled because of that, I really can't think of another reason, and if MIL or DH ask me once more what's wrong with her I might hit the roof!

Have you all tried to get your LO into a routine or do you just go with the flow? Is 7 weeks too early? I sometimes think she might be overtired but always feel I should try and feed her first when she cries, incase she's hungry, and she never refuses! Do you try to get your LO to sleep during the day without a feed first? Or even right after a feed if she hasn't fallen asleep herself?

I keep a record of her feeds but not of sleeps so i'm not certain if there is a pattern to her naps but I'm pretty sure there isn't and I wonder if I should be trying to get her into a pattern?

Argh!!!!!! Feel like I've no idea what I'm doing!!!!

Babies will tend to form their own routine (at least mine did) I haven't started a solid bedtime routine yet M is 9 weeks. When baby gets tired you'll notice her movements getting more "jagged" M starts sucking her thumb when she wants to go to sleep but when she wakes I typically feed her first then let her kick her legs etc for an hour or so. During the day I rarely feed to sleep as she's usually wide awake after a feed.

I'm going to start M in her own room at the end of this month and start bedtime routine then.
I'm also starting potty training again with ds this month.
And diet and exercise hmm busy month for me!

7 weeks is still really early, there is no right or wrong regarding when to feed or to feed to sleep. DS does a mixture and the later in the day they find it harder to get to sleep. At the moment anything after being awake 90 mins sends him to overtired. I felt we were getting a routine and then Christmas happened. Like you MrsH I believe he picked up on my tensions, also when he cried I felt I had justify why and probably didn't respond as quickly or jiggle him for as long before attempting to put down. All his naps were 30 mins whereas at home I've started to expect one 2 hour nap a day (not every day). I also probably fed a little less as I normally just attempt feeding for every upset sign whereas I was aware it was being monitored how much he fed (also it's just different when there are people around). This probably contributed to him feeding more in the night and not getting off to sleep as well (ie. lots of tossing and turning and not being deep sleep)

Thanks Edward and Penguin.

I just can't wait to get home, for DH to go back to work and for me and L to get back into our own wee world where I don't need to explain/justify every movement!

What a grump I am!

mrsh I know what you mean about not having a clue. I feel like I don't either. In the day we let him do what he wants, sleep, play, feed etc. in the evening we try to get him upstairs between 6 and 8 even if he's not tired. We then leave him (checking on him when crying etc) until he falls asleep. It's hard keeping him awake during the day so that he sleeps at night. Once he's asleep at night he can go up to 6 hours and usually goes back to sleep fairly easily. I say usually as he's bound not to tonight as I've said that!

I'm having a minor stress now as to where to put all his toys and Xmas presents as his room is still half the spare room. There is still so much stuff in there that we have no idea where to put. We also hang the laundry in there!

S was 13 weeks on fri there and I would say we have had a rough routine now since maybe 10 weeks. She has slept through the night since 8 wks but day time was still a mess up until a few weeks ago. I remember 6/7 wks being awful at night and I was at my wits end, but then it just changed. I'll give ur our rough routine:

8.30/9ish - wake, nappy changed and 6oz bottle
11.30ish - 30 min nap (never naps for more than 30 mins at a time)
12ish - 5oz bottle (or when awake after nap) nappy changed
3ish - 30 min nap, followed by bottle, nappy change
6ish - 30 min nap, bottle, nappy change
7.30 - nappy off and kicking about on changing mat for a bit while I run bath, get clothes sorted etc then bath
8.45ish - 6oz bottle, into sleeping bag, dummy and into basket in my room. I usually have heating on and blinds just slightly open so room isn't pitch dark. I put her into basket then walk out and leave her. She has a few times of dropping dummy and usually shouts to let me know this so I go in, give it back and walk out again. I don't speak to her or anything. Sounds a bit cruel but it's def worked for me. Usually sleeping by 9ish and that's her till the next morning.

Inbetween naps and bottles she is either laying under play gym, in bouncer or sitting between my legs to prop her up and we play with her toys. Started more of tummy time but she isn't that keen on it. I bought her a bumbo seat for Christmas so using that sometimes now too. She is holding her head by herself and starting to straighten up her back more so I'm trying to encourage as much as poss.

Again though, if we are out walking with pram then daytime routine can totally change. Last wk I was out shopping with friends and she slept for 3 hrs solid in buggy so I just go with the flow. As long as I try stick to it by 6ish (bath and bed at same time) im not to worried. My opinion is that routine is good for babies but what works for me, won't always work for others .

I worked in a baby room in nursery for 5 years and 1 year in with the toddlers so I'm kinda used to routines then with the kids so maybe it's second nature that I've done it with my own too

I can empathise mrsh poppy is still waking every 90 minutes or so due to her cold its painful we only have a morning and bedtime routine too anything else is organic

Thanks Tally and Groovy.

Tally, we're overrun with Christmas gifts too - how can someone so small have so many belongings! We're in a 1 bed flat so no spare room for the overflow! Thank goodness we've got a couple of big cupboards! I'm glad to hear that you don't know what you're doing either - everything I read tells me different things, never mind well meaning relatives!

Groovy, you've made me feel better saying your nights were bad at 6/7 weeks! I wasn't sure if it was just the hecticness of Christmas. I think, for my own sanity, I'll try and get a loose routine for L and I when we get home and DH goes back to work. My health visitor said that, in her experience, primary teachers struggle with the loss of control that comes with a newborn - I think I'm a textbook case!!! You must be the same having worked in a nursery - we're used to being in charge aren't we!

We've got visitors here now to see Lizzie, however she's decided she's hungry so we're having a bit of peace in the back room while my ILs and their pals are having their champagne in the front room! I'm probably happier here !

It's hard isn't it Cheshire - and my MIL is SO concerned about DH not getting his sleep!!!

you know mrshende you hit the nail on the head there. i hated not being in control of her those first 8 weeks or so. she has a few weeks around 6/7 when like i said before, i was a mess. she just wouldn't sleep and i was exhausted! i was expecting to put her down in her basket at 8pm on her own in the livingroom beside me and she would sleep (waking only for her milk). my mum said to me at one point, she is only a tiny baby, dont miss out on these precious days cause you are trying so hard to get her into a routine when she is just not ready for it. now at 13 weeks old, she is settled into one that is working for both of us prefectly. having worked in the nursery, i am far more used to babies around 6 months +, but we did have a baby who started with us at 12 weeks old (i had only been in the job 2 weeks!), but to me he was tiny and so i left the far more experienced staff members to take charge of him! i didnt know what i was ment to do with a newborn. i didnt bother much to read on 'what to expect in those first few weeks' cos silly me thought i knew it all already. i can honestly say, i have learnt sooooo much for next time!!!

Ah ha "next time" Groovy!!

Pene it's more our age I suppose which is why we were thinking of trying again at 6 months. If I get pregnant straight away we will be 36 when that baby is born, I got pregnant as soon as we started trying in 2010 but then had mc and it made us realised half a year can easily pass getting pregnant/trying and if there is a problem or anything then you have to wait for at least 1 period after that before trying again etc etc. At the moment I will be going back to work but we have some fingers-in-pies situations which we are hoping come to fruition before October so I will not have to

Did I say that part out loud there...?

L is three months old today and we have a loose routine but it's come from me noting her natural patterns and working with that to put something together that works for us.

For example, she is happy staying awake for 2hrs but will get overtired if it's any longer. So after two hours I swaddle her and put her down.

I have also noticed that because she likes to feed around every 2hrs she won't sleep for long because she's hungry. So if I want her to have a long sleep I will top her up before going down for a nap. E.g. feed at 8 and feed again at 9.30 before going down at 10am.

I wanted her to have a long sleep over lunch but she will naturally have a longer sleep in the morning so I go with that and don't fret if her second nap is short.

Evenings are still not good here though - she sleeps just fine downstairs with us but as soon as she goes upstairs all hell breaks loose. So we will have to wait a few more weeks before trying again...

Exciting to hear of people thinking about trying again. I wonder who will have our first 'next' baby?

Ooh forgot to say I was a bit at the rude man who was put out at receiving a warning about burglars in the area.

Groovy I can't believe your routine - it's amazing. Not sure how you manage it though. I can't timetable Seb's nappy changes, he hates wet nappies (not bothered about dirty ones!) and bawls until it's taken off. He also tends to sleep after feeds or just when he is comfy . He can take some time to go to sleep in the evening, he really fights it as soon as he is put down. We've got a night light (Moon light I think) plugged in on the landing which gives enough light to check on him in the night without waking him. It gives off an erie green light but it supposed to cost only about 50p a year to run.

Cheshire we had a talk today about other babies. I can't see that I will want another, however lovely Seb is. But we are also getting on a bit so can't hang around if we change our mind! Sorry to hear about your mc, we had one too before Seb. Horrible isn't it? As a result we took almost 2 years from starting to ttc until Seb was born.

Cheshire that makes sense then ...

I am thinking about next time too though, as he grows out of things I am putting them away hoping to use them again.

We only have a rough routine before bed, but no real day routine as I do different things every day. When we get back from holiday (staying with family atm) I am going to try a stricter bedtime routine that has him going down without me in the room. it suited me to do that before as I wanted to sleep as soon as he did to maximise my sleep, but now he's sleeping well I am hoping to reclaim my evenings!

argh- took ages to catch up- again! when will i learn?

happy new year and hope you all had a nice christmas.

so sorry to hear about all the poorly babies (and adults) we have just had colds here.

sorry to hear about your break in bilblio its horrible isnt it. it happened to me a few years ago. i was asleep upstairs with dd1, dp was at work. i had a few hundred quid on the bookshelf for dd1's birthday party and they snatched that and my mp3 player. i was just grateful they got something and didnt try to come upstairs.

eva has been sleeping through for over a week now- it is bliss. she sleeps from 11pm till anywhere between 8 and 10am. i even have to wake her sometimes as my boobs are popping!
she gives huge smiles, laughs and even tries to talk to you. (you couldnt prise a smile out of isobel )

i also have future clothes bought for dc's that will not be suitable for the climate at that time.

i have some wonderful news. my best friend, who was on this thread originally but sadly miscarried (linda40) had a baby boy on the 1st january.
she has 2 girls already, so is thrilled to bits she got a boy. im so happy for her. cant wait to see him.

regarding age gaps. i had a 10 year gap and a 14 month gap.
i can say that it is extremely difficult having such a little gap at the moment. but, i do have twins plus one, so it may not be as bad with just two. im hoping it will prove more beneficial as time goes on and they play and entertain one another. because at the moment they are viscious to each other!

welcome to strawberry

we dont have a routine yet, but thats quite normal at this stage. most experts say 4-6 months is the time for routine as you can drive yourself bonkers trying and failing at such a young age.