November 2011 - early birds, just in time and late to the party, all welcome!!

[TwoJackRussellsandapumpkin]

Hi all,

just starting up a post natal thread for all the due in November peeps on the antenatal forum and anyone else who would like to join in too, hoping to see my arrival by the end of the week, so officially an early bird I hope :)

Well.
We got sent home with a referral to the infant feeding team.
Apparently there's nothing wrong with Abi, according to the SaLt, and we just have bad feeding habits. So, yeah. The floppy larynx was just the imagination of the other consultant, and her heart murmur has no bearing on her feeding at all.

DP wasn't there, so I sat sobbing on the edge of the bed unable to argue our point, and feel now I was pushed into it by being given two options: Go home with no help, or go home with the referral.
We're giving it a shot - if it works, it works. If it doesn't work we can start taking the battle further.

Deflated and feeling let down by the hospital, as they'd promised us a barium swallow and further medical investigation if the SaLt guys couldn't find anything wrong.

Cali I am so frustrated for you, it's awful when they change the goalposts on you. Weren't they going to do another heart scan for you? I hope the infant feeding lot either miraculously solve your probs or add weight to the assertion that there is more to it. Crap that its more delays - you'll be weaning her fairly soon I guess.

Bump sorry to hear you're having a tough time. DS1 (4.5) has been pretty challenging. With his behaviour so I have every sympathy

Cali that is so frustrating. Was this appt with the consultant that you thought was understanding, or is this yet another different doctor?

TwoJacks we put DS onto the hungrier baby formula, with the HVs backing, a few weeks ago and it did seem to help him go longer through the night. We are now usually getting five to six hours at night, although its still every three hours during the day, which surprised me. I do worry that he is too big - he is 11 weeks and I'm not sure what weight he is but quite a few of his 0-3 months clothes are too small, and he easily fits in the 3-6 months. But HV assures me he is fine, he is not off the scale or anything, he is just what you would expect for the size he was at birth.

As for doing the deed. We did it once a few weeks ago, but I have to say I have lost interest totally, which is very out of character for me, I was still interested right up until a few days before I gave birth! I'm putting it down to the antidepressants that I am on for the post natal anxiety. DH is very understanding and hasn't even suggested it. TBH he is exhausted too, with the disturbed sleep, and going to work, and he always stays up late to do the last feed at night, to allow me to get a decent rest, plus he has had a nasty cold and cough that he can't shake off, so all in all I don't think he cares that much at the moment.

So sorry Cali. Hopefully the infant feeding team are on the boil and can get to the bottom of the problem.

Bump hope your little one starts sleeping every night soon.

Had the injections yesterday and so far little man seems fine but I have the hospital today so hope he is ok for the baby sitter.
Had 6 week post natal check. What a total waste of time as all they did was take my blood pressure. As I had a second degree tear I thought they would check to see it was healing ok. Threw me quite completely so didnt ask the questions I should have.

Arrrgggh! I am an idiot and a fool of the highest order. I have, get this, lost a wheel from my buggy !!! Went to get it out of the car this morning and it has only two wheels left. I must have knocked one of them off ~(they are detachable) when I put it in the car the other day, it was in a busy car park which means it is now gone forever. I was so proud of myself for saving money, it was DDs buggy from 5 years ago and they don't make them any more, or anything that even looks like it, so the chances of getting a replacement wheel are zero. Plus, I need a replacement buggy immediately, as in I'm going to have to go shopping for one in the next couple of hours. I am so mad at myself, and when I rang DH and told him, he wasn't exactly pleased with me either.

Xander is bf every 3 hours during the day, last feed from me around 7/7.30 then put down to bed, sometimes takes a while to settle but then sleeps through until about 11/11.30 when he stirs or we stir him a bit to give a 6oz ff bottle. which has consistently been seeing him through until 6am for feeding, although usually briefly wakes me fussing for his dummy once or twice in the night. (usually between 3-5!) So I guess you could more or less call that sleeping through. :) DH usually gives dream feed so in theory I try and be asleep around 10 to maximise my sleep. Hope I haven't jinxed it now!! Must say he has responded really well to routine.

He was weighed Monday, 12 wks old and 12lb 12oz. Same as your DS perish

0-3 babygros and all in one outfits getting a bit snug length ways now but the rest of his clothes are still fitting fine. Think we have a few more weeks until I have to crack open 3-6 stuff. He has a very steady weight gain and all surprisingly average now considering how he piled on the weight inside me!

cali how bloody frustrating for you. they really shouldn't be passing you from pillar to post. lets hope the infant feeding team make some progress...

Treacle, have you tried Ebay, Gumtree and Freecycle? You might get lucky and find something there, otherwise have you contacted the management suite at the shopping centre that you were at? Someone might have handed the wheel in. Hope that you get somewhere without having to buy a new buggy.

Cali, hope something turns up for you soon, it seems like you are having a very hard time of it and it's very unfair that the fates are not giving you a break.

I've already put J into 3-6 month clothes, they are a little big on him, but being cloth nappied, his bum was too big for 0-3 stuff now.

Have a good day guys, having a day at home, been out every day this week, so going to sort the housework out and just generally mooch about

Hello everyone. Trying to catch up.

Cali. I'm so sorry you and Abigail are having such problems. I really hope it gets resolved very soon.

6 week check for Mums. I had a smear, full check of the tear site, pelvic floor, blood pressure and mood check!

DS doing well. Practically identical to Xander in routine. 9 weeks old, 14lb something and filling 3-6 months clothes, still massive

DH has another job after the redundancy. Not great role but a job and no break in salary so we are very grateful. Just enrolled him at DD nursery as I have to return to work in 4 months .

It looks like the babies are all growing and learning stuff. I love this time with them. I wish I didn't earn the major wage so I could stay off longer.

Bedroom antics have resumed. Not too often though. Still adjusting to life with a toddler and baby.

Moosey how's your little one on normal formula?

My boss is calling ....

DS enrolled not my hubby

mash we've had those mammoth sick sessions right before bed too!

busy hopefully the 1.5 hrly feeds are just a growth spurt and won't last! Tilly did that a week or so ago!

twojacks I'm breast feeding so not an expert but me friend was told by her mws under no circumstances to give hungry baby milk - just give lo more of the normal milk - i dont think its recommended - but not sure of reasons why!

Re sleeping - Tilly slept 7 hours last night! And only woke up when I got up and turned the light on so may have gone longer! bump just make the most of the two out of three nights!!! I'm not expecting last nights to be recurring! We're usually up every 3 - 4 hours.

weight loss I don't want to gloat - but i'm only 3lbs of my pre pg weight - not sure how - I've eaten so many choccy biccies - but combined with breast feeding and long walks every day - at least an hour a day on average - not to mention all the walking round the shops.

Tilly had jabs today - how heartbreaking! She's sleeping sweetly now though :-)

8 weeks old - weighing 12lbs 11oz - my little chubby pudding! In 3-6 months vests - but mainly due to her bulky reusable nappies - and 0-3month all in ones are getting a bit tight in length now so we'll probably give them up this week.

Hope all ok? My boobs are solid so going to oump some milk now - whilst she's sleeping!

Stace is your friend someone you see or talk to often? Could you ask her if they told her why not to use hungrier baby milk? That has worried me a bit, as that is what I'm feeding, and if its not recommended for some reason, I'd take him off it again. The problem I have though is that his wee stomach wouldn't hold any more of the normal milk, there was only so much he could drink in one session, and then he was hungry again within 2 1/2 to 3 hours, so I couldn't realistically increase the frequency of feeds.

I ended up buying a new buggy, as there was no time to wait for ebay, gumtree or hand me downs, as I need to do a school run at 2pm, and can't do it by car (two many kids, not enough car seats, as I have a shared school run arrangement with another mum). I got something lovely for £149, so whilst its a fair amount of money, I knew that I didn't need to spend hundreds to get something that suits me.

Just wondering what time do your LOs go to bed? DS doesn't sleep in the evening until after his 9pm feed!

I love hearing about all your chunky babies. I find it kinda sad that DS is growing out of his newborn stuff. He is growing so fast!

Perish Eddie goes to bed after his bath and top up. We always bath him around 9-9:30, irrespective of when he feeds, he can be a bit random in the daytime. He always takes at least 3 ounces after his bath, even if he just had 6 ounces before he got in! When he's full, we put him down in his cot wide awake, and he lies there cooing at the zebra on his cot bumper until he falls asleep. He is quite happy to put himself to sleep as long as we stay in the room. If we both go downstairs he shouts out for us, and won't settle. That's why we don't put him down any earlier. Once he falls asleep he sleeps through until 7 am. Sometimes he asks for his dummy at about 3am, but he always goes straight back to sleep, and he doesn't wake up when it falls out after about half an hour. How big is your DS? Even Eddie is out of newborn stuff now, and he was 6 weeks early! I'm pleased with his weight gain, he's up to 11lb 6 at 12 weeks now.

Treacle I was told not to use hungry baby milk because its harder for them to know when they are full. I think it goes along the same lines of eating slowly when you are trying to lose weight. Eddie used to struggle with fitting enough in his stomach to keep him going, and the HV said to just encourage him to have a little more each time to stretch it out a bit. It seems to have worked now, he's a bit of a guzzler! The advice could have been different because he was premature, I'm sure hungrier baby milk isn't harmful, and if your DS is happy and gaining weight normally then it is unlikely to be anything to worry about.

Katie I'm going to get DH Eddie enrolled in nursery this week as well. I'm not back at work until July, but if I don't get him a place then I can't go back as we have no family in the area

Caz Sounds like you are doing absolutely fantastic, glad X likes his routine.

Cali My god, I wish there was something I could do to help you, fingers crossed the latest bunch of PITAs health care professionals have something useful to say for themselves.

Eddie had the second lot of jabs on tuesday, and they made him every bit as pathetic and whingy tearful and feverish as the last ones. Only one more to go before his birthday, 7th of Feb, can't wait for it to be over.

Wow, mammoth post for the serial lurker!

Katie had to go back to comfort as he was suddenly v unsettled for last feed at night. Going to try again next week. He has stopped pooing in the night at 3am - think that was related to teething as it and dribbling has stopped (after I ordered some bandana bibs).

Went to a baby group on tues and ds was next to a 5 month old and he was only slighter smaller. I was v and so was the mum. He's just over 14 lbs and I've just moved him up to 6-9 month baby grows. Really annoying as they don't had integrated scratch mitts so he is sporting a few scratchs. Thinking about getting some scratch sleeves for at night.

Am going to sign up for pilates and I've ordered the shred 30 DVD. Will be cutting Dow on choc, can't stop immediately as it gets me through bad days!

Hi all

Well fortunately seems to have been a one off as last night we had a good 6 hour stretch from 9-3 then a feed (and I had a lot to give him!! Boobs were like rocks) then slept till 7 and he has been so contented and lovely and settled so might have been an adjustment or maybe he had slept too much in the day that day as I was out and about with the pram all day so he basically slept all day between feeds.

SO today I woke him after he had been asleep for 2 hours and made him feed and play, am going to make sure he is awake in the day more and less at night from now on.

He is 7 weeks now and just lovely - he loves lying on his baby gym with his nappy off (on a towel of course) and he really likes his bouncy chair - he was sit in there for about half an hour just chatting and looking round. He really feels this week like he has become a member of the family and like he knows us a bit more.

And the sun is shining here and I got a good night's sleep and everything just looks far rosier! Amazing the difference some quality sleep can make itsn't it?

Well, that was useless. The infant feeding team was basically a lactation consultant who looked at us, at Abi and said that she had nothing to add, other than a slight tongue tie which wouldn't impede her bottle feeding other than making it a bit messier. She also added that she was surprised we'd not been referred earlier, especially when we were trying to bf.
Her weight is, as always, not a concern, and we discussed feeding on demand etc etc - in the end we agreed that we were doing everything right, and that the problem wasn't the bottle or how we were feeding her, but something else.
She also referred us to the Early Attachment Service - a mental health service so we can attach to Abi better... Why do I feel like we're going around in circles here?
I wish somebody would just turn around and actually say "You're a hysterical mother, she's never going to stop crying at her bottle, go home and deal with it."
Because at the moment, that's what it feels like they're trying to do in a nice, non-aggressive way, making me feel patronised and pushed away.

We've got no further appointments with the consultant, who just walked out of the room yesterday without any further comments after the SaLt lady left me in tears, and I feel very, very hopeless.

Lizzy my DS is 9 weeks and 12lb 12ozs and still in a lot of his newborn stuff, but only just. He has a bath and bottle at 6ish and then feeds again at 9. But doesn't sleep between. But he does sleep from about 10pm - 4.30am and then til 8am. He just doesn't seem to like to sleep during the day or early evening! Hoping that as he gets more active he'll tire himself out a bit more and when he is in his own room as I do think that perhaps we disturb him in the night and that he might find it easier to sleep through. Your LO sounds like a fabulous sleeper

Cali I am so so so sorry you have been treated like this. Have you posted in breast/bottle feeding forums on MN as I am sure there will be other parents who have gone through similar.
I wish I could say something to help but I can't. I feel quite useless and hate that you feel so awful. I am thinking of you and Abi.

Moosey have you done pilates before? I love it, its been a total life changer for me. I've been doing it for about four years and after being totally unfit for about the first 30 years of life, I've now got muscle tone I would never have believed that someone like me could have. And it gave me the confidence to get into, and enjoy, other areas of fitness. But, more importantly, all those niggly backaches and random pains that I used to get are all gone. I did it until I was about 32 weeks pregnant, and as soon as my CS scar heals I will be back at my classes, I really miss it at the moment. I hope you enjoy it - I am evangelical about it, I can't praise it enough.

treacle yes, I started doing pilates when I lived in nz. Haven't done it for 3 years now so really looking forward to it. We just used to do floor work and the pilates studio 5 mins away uses equipment so I've decided to do a foundation course for 6 weeks to demo how to use equipment like kettle bells

Cali I too feel so useless. I can't believe what you and abi are going through. I can't understand why they can't see that this is affecting you as much as abi. That's the only angle I can think of to push for them to do those tests ie This is affecting my mental health

Currently watching gruffalo with DD whilst ds is upstairs sleeping. Woo for Fridays. Having takeaway Chinese tonight, yum!

I am so jealous of your great, easy-to-settle, all-night sleepers!
Amaya wouldn't settle until 1.30 last night! Lord knows why. She slept until 6am then but I was going nuts!

I try and put her to settle herself, and she does in the day but not at night.
The bath, feed, bed routine worked really well for DD1 but my husband (a gp who can be a bit bossy sometimes but is a good source of info at others :) is insisting we don't bath DD2 so often due to her dry skin. I just think its very relaxing for them and she always sleeps well afterwards.

Today is really sunny here too and I'm going to the new local gourmet food hall with my friend for lunch, so diet is out the window a little.

Pilates sounds amazing, I would like to try it. Also thinking of starting up astanga yoga again, at least slowly at home. The problem is when you are knackered you don't feel like exercising, even if you know you will feel better... I need to basically put on exercise gear in the morning too, so then I can go to the gym, do yoga, or stroll around the park immediately after dropping DD1.

Cali - also hard to think of suggestions really - it would be nice to have an ultrasound or scan or something at this point but its seems difficult to navigate the British healthcare system sometimes. I know you have tried all the different bottles etc and I guess she is too young for cups. I was quite amazed with my early feeding problems with both daughters, that even a brand newborn can sip from a cup. I also had to syringe formula into DD1, like feeding a little bird!
Maybe the Early Attachment Service will be helpful in a different way... every feed must be really stressful, plus the constant going back and forth to various healthcare professionals...
With DD1, we were at the hospital or other clinics almost daily and looking back, it probably had a small and temporary impact on our attachment.

Afternoon all,

Cali, I had written you a long message which the computer swallowed up - so not impressed!!! Anyway, if I were you, I would make a note of all the conversations you have had in relation to Abi, the lack of sympathy and support that you have been asking for and haven't received and any promises which you have been given and which haven't been followed through on. Then, depending on how strong you feel, emotionally and mentally, I would cause a massive shitstorm, complain to the highest authorities that you can, as someone else said, this is as much about your mental wellbeing as your daughters. To provide balance, I would also point out those who might have tried to help and were sympathetic, if there was anyone. Although there is not much that the women on this thread can do in RL, at least we are all here for you and for everyone else, whether we are having issues or not, it's great to have somewhere to go to vent or boast, whatever is necessary!

Have you had any advice regarding weaning her? I truly hope that this saga will end for you both soon and you can both get on with enjoying being a family.

J is not as big as some of your LO's, but he has pretty much grown out of his pram and moses basket, so today I took the dogs for a walk with him in his buggy, which goes almost flat. There I was thinking that this would be a lovely treat for him and J would be able to see more of what was going on around him, nope, his Lordship promptly fell asleep again as usual!!! It was much easier to manoeuvre the buggy around without the weight of the pram body, so I think that I will get DH to help me pack up all the pram stuff, his basket, newborn and 0-3 months clothes and my maternity clothes and put them all into the loft this weekend, it's a bit sad to see J move on and not need his newborn things any more, but on the other hand it's another development and I hope that we will be able to give him a little sister in three or so years and then I can bring all these things back down again. Plus, I'll get the spare bed back again, which has had a growing pile of stuff on it since we got back from the hospital almost three months ago.

Oh, that was a long post, bit too much time at home and not having any adults to talk to I guess....

Hi Ladies Sorry I have not posted for a few days been a bit frantic here...
Had my 6 week check (well 8 weeks) and I too was surprised. No examination or anything just asked about contraception which I have in the form of an 8 week old in my bed. I forgot to ask the one question I wanted to but given I was 24hrs plus with no sleep I suppose understandable.
Clothes my little one is in 0-3 mostly but I will need to up size of vests as I should start using the reusable nappies now. Only problem is he is a poo monster and goes about 6+ times per day and when we have tried the reusables he poos all over them even with liner which means a pain to get clean- any ideas??
Bedtime little one usually settles for the night (well couple of hours rather than 5 mins) anywhere between 12 and 2 am!! Nightmare. I would leave him to settle himself but he is obviously in pain and very uncomfortable with wind and or reflux so can't really do this. We spend all evening passing him between us while the other goes to loo has a bath eats etc..Anyway I know it will pass but I so don't want to wish his baby months away.
Work I have said I will take the year off but I am thinking I might like to go back as I am finding it difficult being at home and baby is so unsettled it would probably give me a break to go to work. I have spoken to one childminder but haven't yet comitted to anything.
Gosh- just read this back and I am a moaning old hag!! I do love my child really.. Anyways sorry for not namechecking everyone but Cali hope things start getting better soon. Hope all you ladies have a great weekend.

treacle I'll be seeing my friend again tomorrow so will aske her for you!

Tilly doesn't go to sleep at all in the evening - usually settles around 11:30 - 12 where she may (on a good night) sleep for 6 hours - wake for a feed then have another 2 or 3 hours.

Happy it's Friday and we have Daddy for the whole weekend!

Wrote a song today to sing with Tilly - with actions and everything!!!

Happy Friday! x

Moosey sorry, my pilates post must have come across as super patronising when you have already done it for years, but I just get so excited about it that when someone mentions it I start gushing about how it has changed my life.

Ladies.....we had a full night's sleep last night. He went nearly 8 hours, I was so surprised. Sorry, I don't mean to rub it in for those who are not getting any sleep, but I am at nearly 12 weeks now and I know most of you are a few weeks behind us. A month ago I thought he would never sleep for more than 3 hours at a time, so I just wanted to say that it can turn around quite quickly, so hang in there.

Happy weekend everyone.