November 2011 - early birds, just in time and late to the party, all welcome!!

[TwoJackRussellsandapumpkin]

Hi all,

just starting up a post natal thread for all the due in November peeps on the antenatal forum and anyone else who would like to join in too, hoping to see my arrival by the end of the week, so officially an early bird I hope :)

Best bits

how he gazes at me
how he turns his head to look at his dad
seeing him smile at his big sister

and actually, my absolute favourite is how DD is with him. When he was crying at little the other day I heard her lean over his moses basket and say 'there there Mr, its ok I'm here' then 'you are so handsome' and she gave him a kiss. My heart melted a bit....

snoozle that actually brought a tear to my eye! It's that sibling bond that makes me certain that I want more children.

God I'm so behind on this thread!

Can't believe X is 2 months old today. The weeks are flying by. We have lots of gorgeous smiles now and watching him play with his Daddy is wonderful. He really loves his Dad and saves the best smiles for him!

We've just endured a week/10 days of him being very unsettled and crying a lot, being sick a lot, screaming when led down and wanting to be upright all the time, when up until then he had been so lovely and content. He also hadn't pooed for a good few days and seems in pain with that. He had his jabs yesterday so I asked to see the GP and he thinks he's developed reflux so we've been given gaviscon to try. So far yesterday and today he seems a lot more like his normal self again.

We're still bf, but I've had my confidence well and truely wobbled by the HV. I took him to them monday (first time I'd met them, up until now a different HV had been coming to the house) with the same concerns as I raised with the GP yesterday. They weighed him (11lb 4) and made a fuss that he had dropped below a percentile line (middle 50th to middle 25th) and hadn't put on enough weight in the last fortnight. So the answer to all my concerns was he's not getting enough milk, and if he's being sick you should be feeding him more, he's absorbing the bit he's keeping in and that is why he is not pooing.

Even if all that is true she was completely tactless about it and made me feel completely shite.

I'd been worrying about my milk supply anyway so hearing "he's not getting enough milk" had me near meltdown. I'm struggling more and more to get anything over an oz when expressing, when I used to easily get 4oz of one side. It feels like I'm drying up. X can be on my for up to an hour sometimes, seems like he really has to work had to get a full tummy.

So anyway the HV upsetting me is why I asked to see GP yesterday who I knew would be more helpful. GP wants me to get him weighed again next Monday (oh yay, fabulous have to see those HV again) and then see us again on Tuesday to see how the week has gone and if he's been better. We've also been referred to the paeds because X is still a bit jaundice.

I really think he was uncomfortable because he typically did 3 enormous poos yesterday after seeing GP and has been so much more content again since.

Depending on the weigh in next week I might start thinking about introducing a formula feed at bedtime earlier than I had originally planned and maybe start building up from there. I don't want to be so constantly stressed about my supply and if he's getting enough.

Anyway, hello to all. I will try and lurk and post and catch up better!

Hi Caz lovely to 'see' you and sorry to hear X is having a tough time. Re: milk supply, are you making sure you are getting enough fluids? Sorry if that is a bit of a basic one and you've got it covered, it's just that when I have a day when I don't drink enough (you know, when you've been trapped under a feeding baby all day - catch 22!!) I notice I can't express as much or as easily so it definitely had an effect on my supply. I now keep a sports-cap bottle of water next to the bed and try to drink all of that overnight when I'm up for a feed to supplement what I am drinking in the day. I try to have a pint of weak squash to drink during every feed as I find I get really thirsty whilst L is feeding so it's easy to take big gulps and drink the whole pint.

Right, sorry for the waffle. Hope you get some more support as the health visitors sound a little tactless as you said. I think sometimes they just see it as a job so are very matter of fact, which when dealing with over-tired, hormonal new mothers is not always the best approach!

So my order from Gap arrived this morning and now L is having a nap I am going to take advantage of my 'time off' to jump in the shower then coo over all of the cute things in the parcel. I used his nap time this morning to put a load of (his!) washing on and pack a few more boxes as we are moving closer to the removal date of Saturday and it feels like there is still so much to box up - where did all of our stuff come from?!? I would normally get an extra couple of hours sleep during his 9am nap but thought I should use the time more productively today

Another here that has turned lurker, sorry will try to post more!!

Hugs to those strugging esp Cali Caz & Pam hope you can get the help you need.

caz re: milk supply, keeping yourself hydrated is important. A natural supplement Fenugreek can boost milk supply so may be worth a try (have friends who had really good effects from it).

Suffering from mastitis, had Dr come out last night (I couldn't get to them & very reluctantly they came out) and now on antibiotics which has already improved things.
M doing really well, no real routine except bedtime about 10ish & up after a 6am feed (with 1 or 2 feeds between) during the day we are very baby lead but M is also happy to be distracted out & about :)
Have been going to a local mum's group on a Monday which is great & am being referred to the local baby massage which I cannot wait to do & met new people.
M has been holding her head up fully since 3 weeks & is really alert. Had our first smiles at 4.5wks and at 5 weeks getting the best smiles. Had one incident where I am happy that I was sat where I was; put M on her tummy pillow on the sofa and using her feet she managed to push herself up & over the pillow nearly over the edge of the sofa (my legs blocked it). Cannot believe how active M is already, really not one to be left anywhere except the floor or cradle!!

Hope all mummies & babies are well xx

Argh this is the third time I've typed this buggering message one handed so if the computer/mumsnet crashes again I shall weep.
Sorry for the radio silence here for a while, been the usual 'interesting times' for us with another hospital stay for W. Still hopefully onwards and upwards .
I've only scanned the thread so sorry if I'm missing stuff. Anyway it certainly sounds like those blissful little sleep newborns have woken up!
Caz try not to fret about your milk supply. Around 6-8 weeks your milk begins to much more accurately match DS's needs so you won't have much excess that you can easily pump off for a bottle. If the weight gain wasn't brilliant recently I'd take that as another sign of potential reflux. But do what you need to do, to make as many people happy in your house I say!
mrsarch You poor thing, we're all here for you. It sounds like you need a full debrief at the very least. I hope you're recovering physically and mentally from a tough time.
Cali reflux completely and utterly sucks doesn't it? I hope things are better on the neocate. It's much the best hypo formula but because it costs £34 a tin compared to £17 for nutramagen its a nightmare to get the NHS to prescribe it. I'm trying dairy free in my diet with Willow at the mo, although I suspect her probs are more likely to be due to a physical weakness in her stomach valve after having a feeding tube holding it paritally open for almost three months. Can you push for Losec (omeprazole) as that and domperidone are the only things to have made much difference for us.

Other than that we've just got back from another 10 day stay in hospital with Willow. What started out as a suspected common garden dermatitis skin rash turned scarlet red, peeling and raw from Willow's collarbone to her eyebrows and all around her head, with a matching rash on her bum. She was admitted amid fears it was actually a staph a infection, so after three canulars she was given IV antibiotics for four days, while she got quieter and quieter and fed less and less but the rash went nowhere, and the abs just gave her thrush and explosive green poos. Finally she was diagnosed with a 'once in a career' case of acute zinc deficiency - cue throngs of medics and students visiting her cotside, a medical photographer documenting her for posterity and some hardcore painkillers for the acute agitation that accompanies it. She's on the mend, the rash has almost totally disappeared and we just need to find out if she's likely to be deficient in anything else like selenium or copper as a result of her premmie days, or if this zinc deficiency is as a result of a genetic issue. So more bloods to be taken. Poor thing, she had them six times in hospital, including one from her scalp. She's now such a tough cookie she doesn't even cry when they do it. :(
Really hoping that her homing instinct for hospital is now resolved and she's had more than enough drama for decades.

Caz are there any other baby clinics you can go to for a weigh? I know over here we can attend any & there is one every day. I have also read your blog & totally agree. For what it's worth my advice would be for you to tail off your expressing & switch the bedtime bottle to formula - give yourself a break, you are doing a great job & have the most beautiful bonny boy who is clearly thriving. Trust yourself & your body - you know he was out of sorts last week so not that surprising he hasn't maxed out on weight gain. What is his %ile for length? I have been very lucky to have had excellent support from HCP's when battling with bf & expressing with my DS1 who advised realism over idealism & gave me the permission to stop that I felt I needed.

Sorry Poppet didn't see your post - sounds like you & your girl have really been going through it again. So glad they figured it out, everything crossed that she's done with hospitals.

I'm still going through it with DS1 who has continued his love affair with the NHS for 4.5 years. He has asthma & food allergies & this week, following issues with starting school, we have been told he has Aspergers Syndrome. We have a few more processes to go through for a formal diagnosis but it has come as quite a shock.

alicat you have changed my life, hand expressing is messy but so much better (do you manage to stop the waste that drips down your hand??) I hope things get sorted with your DS's diagnosis.

poppet sorry to hear Willow has been through all that but very pleased that she is on the mend. Hopefully no more dramas as you say!

never in response to your question about where they sleep - DD sleeps from 7ish - 10.30pm in her room while we are downstairs and then we take her up to our room after her 10.30pm feed when we go to bed. Don't know how long this will last though as our bedroom is so small we can't fit anything other than a moses basket in there so she might have to go in her room soon all night

Ah, got to go get bottle for DH to try giving it to her - she will take it from him if i'm there but not if I'm not - huh

Well, I'll never trust a paed again...
Turns out we've been overdosing her with Gaviscon the past 1.5 week - on paed orders - so she's not been able to swallow the milk properly!
No wonder she was struggling to eat and getting hungry every 2 hours!
The paed we saw today originally said "colic", to which I said "Cool, now please examine her". After watching a feed with the dietician they realised what had happened.
So now we're dosing it right, she's having bigger feeds immediately, and generally happier (and pooping). Her acid is seeming to get a little worse though, so on review on Monday I'll ask about the omeprazole. The ranitidine has otherwise done its job.
The dietician said to stay on Nutramigen for now though, but I sneakily acquired a tin of Neocate from Boots before she retracted the prescription, so if I think the Nutramigen is going down hill, I'll push hard for it and try it to prove a point. But, Neocate does give bad wind, and Abi is really fussy about bowel malark, so it would be a last resort.

Reflux is the Devil's work - I can't wait for her to sit up and eat solids.

Everybody else struggling with feeding I have now learnt to not take "No" for an answer. If sitting in A&E for 6 hours is going to get you seen, go.
Also, the argument "when are we going to prevent rather than firefight this" usually raises eyebrows and makes them think again before palming you off on the cheapest drug (paracetamol). Seriously, I had HVs suggesting I give Abi Calpol before every feed to get her to take it. For real.

Cali how awful - thank goodness they checked the meds in the end. Poor little Abi & poor you & DH for being put through it & being let down again.

Bump sorry to hear about mastitis - friends who have had it say it'd dreadful so hope you're on the mend soon.

Terrys glad to be of service! It is messy (I tuck a muslin under) but you must have much more milk than me as I only lose a drip or two here & there.

Well I have to confess that I've just put the heating on at 4:30am - it's freezing & incredibly windy

Morning ladies, hope we are all well! Sorry ive been a bit of a lurker recently.
Bump hope you start to feel better soon, cant be nice to have mastitis
Caz Hope you sort things out, try not to worry too much over his weight, they change so much, hopefully his weight will be more next time?
poppet sorry you have been going through more hospital visits with willow, glad shes getting better.

Max is doing ok, ive been giving him gripe mixture and seems to be doing ok with it? I did buy colief but seeing as though im not expressing anything its kind of hard to mix the colief! His gagging seems to be better at the moment! I did go to the doctors to get some advice on these two issues as they arent too bad, she wasn't much help but i have max's 6 week check nex week with our normal doctor!

I wanted to ask all you lovely ladies some sleep advice really, i think some of max's night time crying is not just wind related. I think hes over tired but its not down to me not trying him for bed. He sleeps well during the day and feeds every 2 hours, at night he cluster feeds in the hope he will sleep longer at night. But ever since he got into the habit of crying, i have been rocking him in my arms and walking around with him, he cries till he wears himself out. But now im fed up of this, have i been wrong in giving in to him and not started a bedtime routine a while ago. What do you all do to get your babies into bed at night and whats your routine. Im reading the baby whisper in the hopes for some answers, max also has a dummy which helps him when he wants it. He sleeps in his moses basket during the night, but falls asleep on me after feeding and then i put him down when hes fast asleep.So during the night hes ok, its just between the hours of 7-10.30-11pm ish. He settles for night between 10-11.30. We also have him booked in for cranonolgy next tuesday.
Sorry for the self absorbed long post.

Good grief Cali gnats awful. Glad it has been sorted now.

Bump hope antibiotics work. Get to doc fast if any redness or you find a lump. First doc I saw missed the abscess so was a bit horrified when at hospital yesterday they said it was now 5 cm! V painful but still bf on it.

Trying a 7 10 2 5 night time routine with bath at 5 followed by feed at winding down so bed by 7.

Hi free I don't have bedtime routine but have noticed a pattern to ds's naps and alert tines. He naps in the morning, alert time at noon, naps afternoon and then alert evening. I tend to put him under the baby gym or on the bouncy chair to work out wind or poo and the flailing of limbs tires him out.

From sat (when DH has finished work for Xmas break - woo!) we'll introduce bath in evening before bottle as I've noticed he sleeps v deeply when i bath him at noon.

Ds is 5 weeks now and nearly 13lbs . He is v long and he doesn't look chubby but good grief my newborn cuddles aren't goin to last long. He almost doesn't fit on chest for cuddles.

Oh, his nibs beckons...

freeangel you haven't done anything "wrong" you have been comforting and soothing your baby. In terms of sleep, with my DS, after his bath I feed him in the bedroom as it is quiet and I dim the lights. Then it's dummy, cuddle, rocking, swaddling and occasionally white noise, he can be difficult to settle initially. Also, I heard that it can be hard for mum to settle a bf baby as baby can smell your milk, could dp try settling when lo is particularly cranky?

poppet i hope Willow has a speedy recovery!

Cali that is terrible! I hope they have a formal complaint coming! However, at least you know what the problem is and Abi is more content

I have a horrific swollen, red and painful throat and DP has a cold... so now DS has the sniffles. Bought some salione drops to flush his nostrils if he gets really congested hopefully won't need to use them!

freeangel To begin with Abi slept in our bed, cuddled up in my arms. Then we got a bed-side cot, that has the side off, pulled up to my side of the bed so she falls asleep with me cuddling her, dummy and swaddled. I cannot recommend the 5S method enough! After she's fallen asleep I can move away and sleep separately, but still close enough to reassure her.
We don't have a routine though - she goes to sleep with us and spends her days/evenings catnapping on us/next to us in the sofa.
Most mornings I wake up being middle spoon with DP behind me and Abigail turned around so her nose is almost touching mine - one of my "best bits".

Other best bits:
Her chuckles and wide grin - specially when she grins in her sleep.
Seeing her do something new every day.
Seeing her and DP - he's such a proud father, and it melts my heart
Taking baths together - she's such a good swimmer!

Co-sleeping cots:

www.nctshop.co.uk/Cots-Cribs-Mattresses/products/201/?gclid=CMuU8remhK0CFUUPfAodVUWHSg

A massive hug to all poorly or struggling teeny tinies x

My best bits:

Opening a Christmas card that dp had ordered with a pic of me and dd on it saying "to my wonderful mummy" I've waited a very long time to be called mummy. I cried my eyes out.

The little sigh she makes everytime after she sneezes.

Her wide smile, just like mine.

Mum giving me photos of me as a baby and seeing that dd looks just like me.

Loving someone like never before

X

"Mum giving me photos of me as a baby and seeing that dd looks just like me."

Me too, never. Calling my mum grandma, "Mormor" in Danish, was also amazing.

Stace - thanks for the advice - he is mow feeding about 20-25 mins 1 side & 5-10 on the other & gets a new lease of life when I swap sides even if I think he's firm asleep. Now comfortably going 3 hours between feeds - I am trying a little routine:
6:30, 9:30, 12,30, 3:30, 5:30, 7,30 (cluster feeds), 10:30 bottle from Daddy then who knows...only on day 2 but last night only up twice which was an improvement. This routine accommodates school runs, allows me to do tea 4:30-5:30 for big ones & will hopefully allow me to do more of bedtime but it is tight!

Has anyone sent off for their child benefit? I'm so loathed to just post off her birth certificate. Is it the short one I send? I guess there is no point putting it in an a4 envelope as they will probably fold it when they send it back. Humph! I also wanted to have the money go into her own bank account but have read they won't do that.

Never I'd forgotten about doing that, thanks for the reminder! We got 2 copies of the long birth certificate when we registered Lucas, so I don't mind sending the short one off. Maybe you could send it in a hard backed envelope and enclose a self-addressed one for them to return it in?

free our (lack of) routine is exactly the same. At the moment W just seems to be in control but at 4 weeks i am assuming that is fine and a routine will develop.

The last 36 hours has been hellish - he has fed about 2 or 3 times an hour since wednesday morning - no messing we must be reaching 100 feeds about 5-10 mins each with some bigger feeds lasting 2 hours each. My milk has slowed to a dribble on 3 occasions he has fed so much. He sleeps for no more than 10 mins at a time and is crying before he wakes up.

I buckled and resorted to a dummy ha ha ha - he won't have one near him. Screams blue murder if we offer it. I can stop his crying instantly with the breast but my nipples look like frayed rope!

That's just a moan on my part sorry - I have no constructive advice.

never we used the "tell us once" service so you don't need to send the birth cert (direct.gov at registration). I did send the cert to my work health care and they returned it in a card envelope. Im still going to iron it though :)

Best bits:
Locking eyes
His smell
How he is growing and developing daily
Knowing the future is with him (hoping it involves sleep as well)

freeangel Max's evening behaviour sounds exactly like my LO's. (just add a wingeing toddler into the background.) He cries so much I am convinced there is something wrong and not just over tiredness but I'm damned if I can figure out what it is. If I keep feeding him he eventually starts complaining when he gets milk out so I don't think he's hungry. Sometimes a dummy works for a bit but as he's breastfed I don't like to use it as I can't tell how much milk he's getting. My daughter was the same so a part of me is resigned to a few months of misery...

Cali so glad to hear you've turned a corner. It was heartbreaking reading about how you and Abi were suffering.

Forgot to do best bits but can't think of any right now except "one day he'll grow up" . Just appreciating how lucky I am that he's healthy.
Interesting that you're all saying the smell. When DS was born that first minute I inhaled the baby smell and remembered how special it is but now I think I'm immune to it as I don't smell anything at all when I sniff him. Perhaps because I've not left him at all.