Dec 08 Ladies - We're fat, we're thin, we're nearly 3 years in!!

[DeidreBarlow]

Sorry for the shocking title - couldn't think of anything else and our babies little people will be 3 in the next few months!

some randon numbers in my last post Not sure what the '1' was. And they were 2 and 3 year olds at the party.

beans how about one of these too to dip your in?

Sorry I didn't return today, it's been really hectic. But just to Beans again, (and yes, Nov 2011 is the poxiest ever) I am going to go back and dig out calorific food ideas to tempt your Dad to eat for when he feels sick from chemo and his appetite's bad. I will post them tomorrow (really will). Nil desperandum. Xxxx

How are the lads, Vag?

Been sorting through yet more bags and boxes. The Pre-school has a stall at the church fete. I am donating so much gear they're almost going to need a tow truck to get it there. Getting a bit of my old vim back.

Crossposted with you, dear Trace. No time to chat now but thanks for the story bout the birthday girl in nappies - I do fear DD1 being in them for DECADES although I thought she'd never walk and she did eventually....White light for your uncle. Ooh, and crossed fingers for tomorrow's view.

On a totally stupid note we bought a Smeg range for our kitchen. Very nice. Except the fan appears to be breaking (already!) and when the oven's on it sounds like a combine harvester.

Oops that wink looked a bit random didn't it. It was in response to Beans post.

Lady I remember being told by a continence nurse that the average age for children to TT is 3, so if that is the average, there must be loads that TT beyond 3. No offence to your nursery but they are not very child led.

Both boys are still unwell, DS2 is better but slept in as he is still recovering so missed his nursery. DS1 is really unwell poor little man and just woke up screaming from another nightmare. I woke with a sore throat so cancelled my PT this morning but hopefully can make it up. I've been really careful with eating today. Went to dutch classes tonight, so boring, and she talks so fast.

Hi Trace, I feel the same about DS2, I try not to baby him, but I feel sad that he is my last.

Hello all,

Beans Can you get your dad prescribed build up drinks? I had them after my transplant and they are full of calories. Also push for super duper anti sickness meds as they try cheaper, often less effective ones first. Feeling sick kills the appetite.

Trace Nice to hear from you. White light from here for your Uncle. I always think ZJ looks like Kate Winslet.

Vag Hope your boys feel better soon.

Lady We have inherited a Neff oven which is quite noisy. I thought it was quite a modern oven but the instruction introduction booklet begins 'dear housewife'!

L is much better today full of beans. J tested out her new top tooth on my nipple. Ouch!

Oh Trace I had a whole thing I wanted to say to you about your uncle. I can't vouch for Guy's adult services but I did loads of shifts at guys in their old paeds wards. Compared to many other hospitals in London, it is definitely one I would want to go to. Obviously now guy's & thommies paeds services have moved but both Paeds & adults are quite respected for their trauma care. MrPubes would probably know of their reputation for adults better than me, but I'm pretty sure he is in very good hands. But very hard that he is so far from his family.

Oh Trace - thinking of your uncle. I'm not a pray-er, but am doing non-religious equivalent.

Been to Toys R Us today. And Ikea. Never been to the latter before. Why did no one tell me how amazing it is??! Loved it! Toys R Us, however - heinous. If I never go again it'll be too soon. Bleugh. Although great selection of stocking fillers!

News from Dad is that he's still very unwell. Mum has taken him to the hospital for blood tests. I think he is terrified as he doesn't know what's happening. He's a terrible control freak so is finding it very hard. I spoke to my middle sister today and she tells me that since the chemo started less than 2 weeks ago, he's lost 2 stone. That can't be normal?? Apparently Mum is looking exhausted and is really struggling too. I am going to make her speak to MacMillan to find him a nurse for until the chemo has finished. She HAS to get some sleep. I am also going to see if DH can do a pick up and drop off from nursery for me next week and go down for a night so Mum can get a good night's sleep and maybe go out Christmas shopping or something. Dad really wants her to have a break too. Apparently my sister was chatting to him while he was in the shower (he has a special seat!) and when he came out, he just started sobbing into his towel. And all day, he just lay on the bed holding her hand and squeezed it occasionally. He is such a good man. I can't bear that this is happening. Sorry to be such a weed on here, but apart from on my sisters or DH, I don't really feel I can spout about it anywhere else.

But selfish me. Lady - how are you doing? Are you feeling ok about Friday? You sound like you are indeed getting some of your old vim back and for that I am full of endless admiration for you. What a total star. I'm getting a bit tired of being a miserable old drip. Need to perk up. At least I've done nearly all my Xmas shopping now. Just have DH to do.

What do you think of this picture for him? I know he likes cow pictures!

Thanks Beans, I am not feeling TOO bad about Friday - well, I am and I'm not. I feel like he's safe now and I know he saw everyone he wanted to and it was so quick he didn't suffer too much. Obviously I feel horribly sad for myself and the girls, but I am so hugely grateful for everything both my parents gave me (and still give me, in Mum's case). Whatever any of our faults, both of them were/are clever, sane and above all really give a damn about others and any of that I have got, I get from them and hope to give to my DDs. It's a good, comforting feeling to think that that goes on and on (hopefully!)

My worries about Friday are stupid ones - that I won't hold it together (I want to) and that my sister will get on my nerves. She's a good person really. But sometimes she annoys me.

Anyway, to business. 2 stone in a fortnight can be normal...I mean, a lot of people don't want to eat on chemo or else can't keep anything down. On top of that, your body is using up a phenomenal amount of calories trying to deal with the cancer so those two things combined can lead to dramatic weightloss. The answer is really for him to eat anything at all he can manage. Things like avocado are slippery and easy to eat and calorific and nutritious. Ice cream...Waitrose does some Heston Blumenthal ones which are a bit more interesting (Mustard is my favourite but there are more normal sweet ones). Mashed potato with cream and butter....And high protein is good so peanut butter if he can stand it or soft lean meat. Even protein shakes which you can get from Holland and Barrett. They just taste like milkshake really although they aren't to everyone's taste.

You aren't being a weed at all. Talk about it all you like. Much love and strength to you all.

I am off to Mum's tomorrow and then won't be around again until Sunday, when it's O's unofficial birthday. Happy Birthday to Deids' DS for tomorrow xxx

Thanks, Lady - I'll tell him all that stuff. He said that everything tastes disgusting at the moment, which is very strange!

You are such a positive person. I really feel like I learn from you on here. I sound like a self-help person don't I?? I can feel the love in the room!! Move over Darius! But I do mean it.

All of you.

xxxx

Actually, I like these better - does anyone else have one they particularly like on that???

PS Lady - have emailed your list to Mum and Dad. I told Dad over the phone and said that sounded good. So thank you. xx

Victor, Ronnie and Dave? Good names. Rosanna's nice but they're all nice.

I am so glad the list was of some vague help. It can be so hard to eat if your mouth is sore or everything tastes like crap or makes you feel sick. Small, attractively presented meals are the key I reckon. It might be different with your Dad but when DH was having chemo I used not to tell him what I was making and shut the kitchen door so no smell escaped. We found that this almost tricked his body as the smell or thought of food can be so offputting. Even bland things like mash or chicken soup.

I think I like Rosanna and Ulysses. The later looks like one of those big blokes who hates having his photo taken.

Rubes is it possible to take booster seats on as hand luggage. We want to use them for a long taxi ride we are going to take from Phuket to near Krabi and various taxi rides in Langkawi & Penang. They are a bit bulky to put in our two suitcases so thought I could take them on as the boys hand luggage quota. However, do they count as one bag or can we just include them in the weight allowance?

Evening.

Just wanted to pop on and send my love to LadyT and Beans. Xx

Firstly happy birthday to the little Deids and LadyT for tomorrow and Friday, I hope the days are special, despite all the other nastiness that November has brought to your families.

How is your Nan doing this week Deids? And LadyT, I'll be thinking of you and your family on Friday.

Beans my heart goes out to your poor Dad, suffering so, and your Mum too. Hopefully with LadyT's recipes and your kitchen whiz skills, he'll have some yummy treats to look forward to. Your weekend sounds fab, such a pick-you-up I hope?

I agree that being grown up
sucks. Suddenly I am noticing my parents generation getting sick or frail or sadly dying, and it's hitting home that life is too short. My ILs have a group of 4 couples that they socialise with religiously every weekend, and in the space of a week last month 2 of the group passed away and their social circle is now only 6.

I hope all the snot has gone from your house Jolly?

That sounds scary for your Uncle Trace, I hope he makes good progress in the new hospital. How was today's viewing? The IT crowd is one of those programmes I rarely watch, but when I do it really makes me laugh - I'm quite flattered by the comparison, thank you. But Jolly is talking nonsense, KW. I do have curves, but not in the same places as she does!!

Hurrah for the returning vim LadyT, only a week left of crappy old November. I know there's a couple of children at DDs pre school to be in nappies, and it doesn't seem to be a problem to the staff there. Maybe you need to have no 3, as didn't the arrival of D spur on O's walking?

How are you and the boys today Vaj?

My friends have that first cow picture Beans (or one v similar) and it looks fab in their dining room. But I like all of them, although maybe don't take my advice - we have sprout pictures on our wall!

Sybs I was nosing at your fb pics, and your DCs are sooo cute. DS really reminds me of AAA's dd2, must be the angelic curls

Eek at all the terrorising toddlers, DD is great at the moment, but I expect my turn will come in about 3 months when she realises she's not the only person in our world. On Monday she was particularly cuddly and told me she loves me, which is a miracle as she's only ever said that once before . I can only assume I'm oozing maternal hormones right now. Although she was back to the old E yesterday 'I love the dogs, but I teasing if I say I love you Mummy'

Fortunately the D&V passed quickly and by Monday my appetite had returned. Which is good. So then I went to see the physio, and did let on who I am. The good news is I don't have sciatica, but the bad news is I have spd. And, blimey, do I ache from the bending and stretching I had to do for him. He told me that basically my pelvic floor is knackered (how much did you work after dd?), my stomach muscles are knackered (did you do any toning exercises after DD?) and I'm waddling with my bum stuck out. I left feeling really great about myself . I have some exercises (mainly pelvic floor toning) to hopefully stop it getting worse. I know several of you lovely ladies got through it, so any tips for managing it and preventing it getting worse would be gratefully received

Oh & Beans protein in some form whether its in a shake or food is really important. Over time reduced protein intake can lead to some mental instability & deterioration which can be quite scary as well as dangerous for your dad. Not that I want to scare you but I would second JBs recommendation of the protein shakes. Ladys advice is brilliant esp the cooking bit. Also is it possible to speak to social services about any options they might provide for home help or if they can advise of charities which might be able to help. After dad died mum joined a group of people who were support people for family carers like your mum. It was run by a charity who matched up people like my mum who had been through it with people like your mum who were currently dealing with it. It was a support for them, but not from people emotionally connected to them.

Vag Have you seen the booster seat rucksacks? Might be worth thinking about if you are carrying them with you.

ZJ Can you get a corset thing to help? My friend had one when she had SPD. Much better on the snot front thanks.

Beans On the everything tasting vile front, your dad might be better having dishes that aren't his favourites. It is quite miserable sitting down to a cherished meal and it tasting unpleasant. I cried when eating one of my mum's lovely teas on return from hospital. I agree with ladyt on the cooking smell thing too. One more thing, Marie Curie nurses offer night care at home. Might be worth seeing if the hospital have contacts. They were fantastic with my brother.

hi all. Just zooming in before bed...
our viewer really liked the house and has booked to come back on Monday to see it again, bringing his family with him So it sounds quite promising, and suddenly quite scary! So we're off on Saturday to see the one we had our eye on a few months back - the 'finished' one, as the project one is sold now. Exciting...but don't want to get hopes too high.
Sorry to just whizz on with no personals, but must get some sleep.
night night all xxx

Morning all, beans Your poor Dad, Chemo can really knock it out of you. How long has he got left? Really hope that he starts picking up a bit soon, and that your Mum gets a break. Thinking of you all.

vag How are you and the boys feeling? Lets hope your getting the illnesses out of the way before your trip.

lady I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Sadly I'm at at funeral too for my friends Grandad, anyway I will say a prayer for your Dad. I really hope it goes as well as these things possibly can for you all. Much love.

And Happy Birthday to O for tomorrow - did you say you are doing it on Sunday?

Trace Fingers crossed with the viewings - how are you doing?

Can't believe DS is 3 today!!! He's got so big. He's currently playing with Buzz lightyear, a Woody and a Spinosaurus. He is dinosaur OBSESSED!

Nan still the same, its been a shambolic few days tbh. The Repat Co. spoke to the Drs who said 'No way' could she fly far too poorly. Yesterday the hospital said she could go, but in the middle of all this Mum can't find anyone he speaks very good English and so who knows? She is dying and if it wasn't for the various drips/feeding tubes/AB's etc she probably would have died. The repat. co want the money up front for the air Ambulance,the bank won't let my Uncle have access to her money and if she dies apparently before they get her in the air, we still have to pay (but no-one has put a figure on it although its estimated to be anywhere between (15k - 30K+). My Uncle fly's out today to be with my Mum and he sister

Oh Mum just rang...hospital have called them in.

Just a super quick one. Vag we have the boostapak booster rucksacks they are great very light and you can put clothes etc in them so they dont take up too much space.

Lady, Beans & Dieds thinking of you all lots. And trace love to you as well.

Am home all day will come back later for a lengthy post.

Beams had stuff I wanted to say to you for your Dad. Have to dash and do the school run.

Sending lots of hugs and prayers to the thread, and to dads and nans and uncles. November really has been a shitty month :( hope that the birthdays bring a few more smiles for us all (happy birthday DS Deids!) Does zj still have the original list, we need to see if we can seek out any of the original thread posters (eg gettingbiggerbird and her twins!) and send their babies birthday wishes.

Well our epic bathroom faff is finally done, spent a lot of yesterday being plumber's mate and mopping leaks off the floor as he plumbed in the loo etc. My christmas pressie this year will have to be functional shower rather than anything more exciting...

S doing alot better on the behaviour front thank goodness, nursery bound to say it's the reward chart but I think it was just the house move unsettling her. We've moved E in with her as ILs announced they are coming to stay for the weekend when it's S's birthday, so will need the spare room we offerred to put them up in a b&b but fil gave strong impression that mil would not accept this. So, time to get E sleeping properly then! And try and get the house t idied up at last. S wants a princess cake for her party and has developed a hilarious if annoying habit of if she doesn't want to do something she will turn away and say 'you're not my friend any more' which obviouslynjust makes me laugh :)

Will tr to keep up better, back at work in just over 2 weeks !!!! So should be able to do lots of mning then

My Nan has died. Its for the best I know, but still can't stop crying x

Oh Dieds so so sorry . Sending you lots of virtual hugs. Much love to you and yours. xx