April 2011 - Food Glorious Food, Sleep Glorious Sleep <subtle key change> They're our babies, we'll obsess if we want to!

[fraktious]

Thread 4 - that's one a month!

GGF (or any other weaners!) - do you then offer a milk feed after the meal?

F has milk before (if I'm there it's both, he'll feed hourly if he can!) as he gets grumpy & shouty if he's too hungry (I'm the same!).

But we're BLWing.

Oh, and he really needs the calories from milk & can't really afford to fill up on veg etc yet

Hi Star Yes, I offer water with the meal and a milk feed afterwards I try and time the meals inbetween milk feeds but before she'll get too thirsty. I sometimes give her a quick BF top up half an hour or so before eating to tide her over as they don't like eating if they're thirsty IYSMIM. P is mix fed so has 2 formula feeds a day after lunch and before bed.

I've put a very rough guide below but TBH the BF varies and we don't have a set routine. I always whip them out if she gets a bit antsy .
If she's with my mum in the morning then she'll get the bottle earlier and i'll BF her after lunch. I'm back to work next week doing 2 mornings and 2 afternoons so wanted her to be flexible with her bottle times.

I havn't put in any nap times but she'll usually nod off/dreamfeed for a bit when on the breast during the day or nap if we're out in the buggy but she doesn't do "nap times" and certainly not in her cot, but i'll let her off as at least she sleeps well at nights (touch wood)

7.30am BF
8.30am Breakfast
9.30am BF
11am BF
12.30 Lunch
1.00pm FF
3.30pm BF
5.00pm BF
5.30 Tea
6.30 FF

kitty - there is no harm in offering him food at all your mealtimes. The only hesitation I would have, is that because S isn't 6 months yet you are more limited with what you can offer him - mostly just fruit and veg and rice which isn't that calorific. If you think he's really hungry then milk will fill him up more than solids at this stage and you can just give him tastes so that he gets the idea.

GGF - sounds like we are doing things in a similar way. Some meals T has finger foods, or something he can eat in fistfuls (mash for example). Other meals he has something squidged up but I always give him some finger food along with it. Once he stops being interested in the finger food then I don't offer the spoon any longer.
We did the same with DS1, half BLW and half spoon feeding. I don't puree, apart from the first week of giving him a few tastes of fruit and veg, just mash with a fork.

I normally give T a feed about 30-45 minutes before a meal, and then he almost always has one at the end of a meal, even if he has drunk a fair bit of water alongside his food.

Ah, ok. Good - that's kind of what I thought. I can tell I'll be a right stress head about weaning. Stupid really, I feel like I've spent the last five months stressing about BF and finally have got the hang of it only to find i now have to get my head round something else!

DH is trying to resettle P. She woke at 9:50 and has had a feed but won't go back to sleep. She did this last night too. I'm a bit worried that 5 months of dream feeding has conditioned her to always wake at this time. Wouldn't mind if she'd go back down after a feed but she's been a nightmare to resettle of late. So frustrating, particularly when i was hoping to stop the dreamfeed soon. I can't imagine her ever sleeping through. Tres of those of you with LOs that do!

Can someone tell me I'm not being unreasonable..........first KIT day went well, in terms of actual work. However I arrived to find that I've been rostered on to work next Friday and the following 2 Tuesdays!! No-one had asked or told me about this and the last time I checked KIT days were optional and not obligatory!!! I'm so f*ing mad!! I know I can just say I'm not doing them when I easily can, (I gave them my availability) but it really would have just been a courtesy to run it past me first! Ughhhhh :(

Anyhoo R has been a star for her grandma & grandad, has eaten 3 meals today and slept like a legend!! And best of all they kept her up until I got home so I could put her to bed She's been starting to have an extended nap at around 6.30pm/7pm after her bath, so much so that it's almost as though she wants to go to bed earlier, my mum had to wake her at 8.30pm to give her her bed time feed and she was back in bed by 9.15pm. I would like to start getting her to a 7pm(ish) bedtime but not sure how I can without her missing the last feed at 8.30?? I'm terrified that if we stop that we'll go back to 5am wake-ups again, any ideas? I tried dream feeding before but it didn't really work for us. She will now reliably go down at 9pm (usually having slept from 7-8.30 before hand) and sleep til 8am and I'm loathe to give that up might she just bring it back herself gradually? Sorry not intending to boast just trying to give you the jist of the routine!!

As for feeding, we are currently doing this (roughly)
8.15 - 7oz feed (depending on how lazy I'm feeling I'll put her back down for an hour but she doesn't always sleep, if not she'll have a nap before the next feed/meal)
11.00 - Porridge & 5oz feed (use the other 1oz to make the porridge)
Nap again about 12.30
14.30 - 6oz feed
Nap again about 16.00
17.15 - Either fruit or veg & a 5oz feed
Bath about 18.00 depending on how much farting around there's been over feeding!
Nap again about 19.00 until 20.00-20.30
20.30 - final 6oz feed and bed at 21.00

All the times get shifted half an hour either way depending on what time she first gets up in the morning. Thinking of trying her with the porridge first thing in order to make way for lunch when I introduce it but she's normally starving when she first wakes so don't know if she'd hold off til I had it ready. I like to give food first and milk after but could try half milk, then food, then other half milk I guess. We're basically doing traditional weaning but am going to start introducing finger foods at 6 months too in the hope she doesn't become too fussy!! Apparently todays luch was lumpy and she wasn't too bothered!!

Woops, I've written a complete novel! Sorry for lack of name checking, feeling a little self-absorbed today!!

Kitty Hope the gin hangover isn't too bad The rose is going down a treat!!

MrsW YANBU

Oooh, I'm mad for you MrsW. What are you going to do? How rude of them!

No idea re your sleep query I'm afraid. TBH even if I did have a clue, i wouldn't recommend taking my advice since I am so clearly clueless when it comes to baby sleep. P is awake and fussing again ...Tried feeding and rocking. Neither have work. DH is trying now but his techniques are failing too judging by the wailing coming through the monitor! Arrrgh!

Star - eek I hope she settles. We've not long had T down, he went down at about 11 and then woke up at 12.
He is all over the shop with sleep atm. I am really hoping it is just developmental and that things settle down more soon.

MrsW - YANBU!!

mrs w on your behalf. That's unacceptable.

S woke up the minute I left at 430 yest, fed at 5 as instructed then basically grumped til dh got there at 7. Grumped some more. Had a doze. Had a bit of dinner then wouldn't taje his 8pm bottle. Threw a fit. Wouldn't go to bed til 11 and I got in just after and fumed. What's the point in going out if I'm going to get stressed hearing all that. What's the point trying to establish a routine if a night out fucks it up. And mil kept telling me what my routine should be when they start having him. He should feed before we leave - well that's two hours before he currently wakes up so I was planning on putting him from cot to car and then she feeds him. I should be aiming for him only to have four bottles a day, he should only need 30oz. And he shouldnt really be feeding every three hours still. This after I said he was a hungry baby. I massively stropped at dh when I got in saying s has to work round OUR routine.

Going back to bed now with a too much booze head. Hope s Is ok. I did limit myself .

YANBU MrsW, that's just rude.

Oh dear Kitty, H is BF but he'd NEVER manage more that three hours between feeds. What rubbish.

We too went out last night, both DP and I, at once! We went to a pub quiz with friends that starts at 8pm and H went down like a dream at 6.45pm! That's at least half an hour earlier than usual. We won the music section and got a free round of drinks

DP's sister babysat and, when we returned at 11pm he'd only stirred once and had gone straight back to sleep with some back patting.

Luckily I'd limited my alcohol and counted units and hours though as he woke at 2.30am instead of the usual 4am and was up for an hour. Am knackered today but it was so nice to feel like a grownup with a life again.

Kitty your MIL is bonkers. Tell her you are raising your baby the way you want to. I would also take a dim view of her limiting his intake in any way during the day when she has him, else he'll be awake all night and you'll be shattered!
Really feel for you

Better night here. 2 wake ups since midnight and T is still asleep.

Didn't you say your MiL was a midwife as well Kitty ?! She sounds hard work.

A night out sounds fab Cycle. We were able to do it early on when P slept well but not a chance at the moment. We can go out individually but wouldn't want to inflict the non sleeping baby on anybody else!

Last night was hellish. She went down ok but woke at 9:50 for an hour and 12 for an hour. She then slept until 4 and was awake until 7 when she managed a 30 minute nap! Shattered is not the word. I don't think she's waking through hunger because I always try and feed her but she's never that interested. She will fall asleep in our arms but wakes up when we put her in the cot. Bringing her into our bed doesn't help either. Tried last night but she just started laughing and trying to stick her fingers in my mouth .

And still she won't nap for more that 30 minutes a couple if times a day. The child is some sort of machine. She clearly thinks sleep is for the weak!

Dh and I need to go for a night out, but I am ott about other people looking after my babies. The only person I trust is my sister and she lives 40 miles away! I need to get over myself I think!

Star- was it you who asked about daytime sleeping? Well whoever it was (!), yes I go to settle I at the first squeak. If not, game over,he doesn't self settle in the day. I sit in my bedroom and read do important jobs in there while waiting for the inevitable couple of wakings.

Oh dear Kitty. Someone (ie your dh) needs to have 'the talk' with your MIL. A MW is an expert in pregnancy and birth, not childcare. She is totally riding over your wishes and it is not on. The whole feeding every four hours gets right on my tits. Who the hell goes four hours without food or drink?

Thanks ladies. My nephew. Their DGS went every four hours but she used to tell me they should have been more flexible cos he used to scream alit. I expect he was hungry. I ranted at dh last night and was in bed when he left for work and he is out tonight. Is it to much to ask that I bring my DS up my way.

I think that's what I need to do ILike. She normally wakes at the 25/30 minute mark during a nap, so I think I need to hang around and resettle her straight away.

You're not being unreasonable at all Kitty. It must be difficult when you're reliant on her for your childcare though. Definitely agree that it needs to be your DH who speaks to her though. The dynamics of the MiL/DiL relationship can be difficult at the best of times.

It's only since joining Mumsnet that I've realised how lucky I am with by MiL. I'm 100% sure that there are things that she thinks we should be doing differently (and she's probably right!) but she's very careful not to say anything out of turn or make crap suggestions. I think it probably helps that DH has got older siblings with lots of children already, so she's probably already been told when to make suggestions and when to keep quiet!

It is tricky with the in laws though. My parents are really good and helpful with P but if they were making unhelpful remarks or suggestions, I'd just tell them to shut up. I'd never be able to do that with the in laws and DH is so dozy that he'd never notice it was happening in the first place!

MrsW I thought Keeping In Touch days were just that for keeping in touch not bloody working a normal shift. I'd be telling them to foxtrot oscar pronto!

Kitty bonkers MIL. Although I have to admit B goes 4 sometimes 4.5 hours between feeds with no grumbling, but I worry about that rather than see it as an achievement. Try and feed him to early and he point blank refuses and screams. I guess thats just the way he is going to be. If you MIL thinks all babies shoudl conform to to one set of rules, maybe point her in this direction. All our babies are the same age and they are ALL different. If S feeds 3 hourly then thats what he does. I really gets my goat that as adults we all bang on about being individual and should be treated as such, but ifyou are a baby all that goes out the window and you must conform. Mini rant over!!

Yeah for the quiz Cycle! Love a good pub quiz me! We are in the process of arranging a fund raising one for the hospice FIL was cared for at up the road. A friend of ours had her dad there to so hopefully she'll come on board for some local assistance :).

I've bought in a load of lovely fresh veg!! hinking about offering something to B this weekend, but allthis talk of tongue thrusting (fnar) makes me wonder if he's ready. He blows bubbles back at us when we try to give him calpol. Also, I don;t have a steamer, how do you steam without a steamer? Or shoudl I just go and treat myself?

My informal flexible working request has gone in. 3 days a week in my current role, DH and I have spoken and if I get the promotion then we can think about upping it. I wouldn't want to miss the opportunity to do something I've been wanting to do for ages because of me being part time. But I don;t want to let them knwo I'm willing to work more in my current role, because I'm not! Is that bad?

Last day of DHs holiday today and we've done bog all! Although I can see blue sky out the window, so today might be a bit better than the rest of the week! Fingers crossed!! better go I hear yelling upstairs and DH is gettng a lie in!

MrsWajs is hungover. Damn you wine. That is all.

Gah. The shopping has just been delivered, and I'm upstairs feeding T. I can here DS1 rustling around in the bags - what is he finding I wonder!!!

MrsW

Theres only one thing for it then MrsW more !!

Ali you are going to get downstairs to find him sitting in amongst a torn ope box of cornflakes which he will have helpfully added milk to and will be stuffing as many chocolate biscuits down his throat knowing you will be downstairs any minute to spoil his fun! :o Its what I would do in that situation!!!

He had opened the carrots and bitten the ends off two, it could have been a lot worse

So, carrots for tea tonight in your house Ali? :o

MrsW I think you should say you've got plans those days - like spending some time with R. KIT days are optional and don't have to cover the whole day, or at least not where I work. I should get paid a full day for going in for 3 hours for the meeting on Tuesday, and they let me take M, though that was on the understanding that she wasn't actually insured to be there, and all the women in the library wanted a cuddle - I've no idea how we actually got through the team meeting without it just turning into baby time :)

I'm pleased to say M has been sleeping brilliantly in her own room at night. I'd been expecting lots of wake ups each night but only had one or two and she's settled back down after a feed. Not sure I've been sleeping as well - I'm a bit on edge listening for the monitor but I'm sure I'll get used to it and eventually turn down the sensitivity on it.

M tends to sleep on our bed for daytime naps, and I'm sat on the PC in the corner of the room so I can resettle straight away and it's only in the last couple of weeks I've been able to resettle with a hand resting on her chest.

Cycle glad you enjoyed your night out. Maybe DH and I should consider it sometime. We're just across the road from lots of bars so could easily have a night out (but be ready to come back if needed) if his parents babysit.

MrsW YADNBU, scandalous of your work! Very sneaky.

kitty S never makes 3hrs between feeds in the day and she's ff in the daytime. She's a snacker, just like me. Your MIL sounds very difficult to deal with. Hope you can find a way to get her to see sense. So tricky.

Star sorry you've had another rubbish night. S needs to have a word with P, they're usually in sync and S had 2 feeds last night and settled quickly after both. I'll send her round for a babble chat with P pronto.

Ah Ali, carrots! Your DS sounds very sensible and health conscious! My DS would not show the same maturity. He'd go for the Mini Magnums straight away. I think he knows the freezer bags from Ocado are the best bags already. He is resisting his nap today. I'm pretending I can't hear him babbling away in the hope that he'll get bored and go to sleep. He's not allowed to drop his day nap. I will go mad

Chilli can you turn the monitor down a notch every couple of nights? I weaned myself off the most sensitive setting with DS slowly and it worked well. S is still in our room as we don't have room for her to go in with DS. Need to move somewhere bigger. MrsW has your parents house sold yet?