April 2011 - Food Glorious Food, Sleep Glorious Sleep <subtle key change> They're our babies, we'll obsess if we want to!

[fraktious]

Thread 4 - that's one a month!

Crap night already. S hasn't slept since he woke at three. I've just lost it. Complete meltdown trying to get him to sleep. Dh has taken over after telling me to calm down. I said I can't do this and he said I have no choice. I've left him with s. I think s is still recovering from his bug. He is only doing one poo a day and it's not pleasant. He keeps farting and they stink and he just won't settle. I simply can't cope.

kitty sorry you're having such a hard time, I see that the NCT launched a new postnatal support line last year: info here.

It could be you have PND, it effects 1 in 10 during the first 2 years have a read of this, hope it helps

Kitty you've had very little sleep and an ill baby to look after. You're bound to feel fed up. I've been at that stage before and dh had to take over and I said I couldn't cope etc. It will pass. Try and get some sleep and you'll feel so much better.

I'm sick, think I've got food poisoning from some chicken I ate this afternoon. Feel rubbish and just been very sick. Thank goodness dh not at work as no way I could look after L right now. (sick face not envy)

Oh Sassy you poor thing! Really hope you feel ok in the morning.

kitty - Sassy is right, you are massively sleep deprived atm - you have had such a run of awful nights. I really really sympathise, DS1 was a terrible sleeper at this age, and I was just wrung out and at the end of my tether. I was diagnosed with PND when he was 8 months.
I do genuinely think that lack of sleep can cause PND, even if you have been fine post-birth, bonded well etc etc.
I really recommend going and talking to a sympathetic GP, because even just talking it all through can feel like such a weight off.

In terms of immediate steps - just be really kind to yourself. Your DH sounds supportive so that is good. Does S nap in the day at all so that you can have a nap and feel a bit more human?
Easy meals, cut corners with housework and anything else you can unless it stresses you more to do that.

Where are you? Are you near enough to any of us to meet up in RL for a chat? Big hugs - your DH is right, you can do this because you have to, but it is tough, really tough sometimes.

Thanks ladies. I'm trying the pick up put down method with s at the moment. More because that's what it's taking to get him to sleep than any other reason. It's taking so long to settle him.
I hope it's not pnd but I have gad depression / anxiety in the past so it's possible. I'm in Billericay.

Hope you feel better soon sassy

Oh Kitty, that sounds dreadful. I'll echo the thoughts of others. Sleep deprivation does funny things to you and your state of mind. In the past couple of bad weeks I have, a couple of times, put a sleep-refusing and whingey H in his cot, left the room and made myself a cup of tea. He continued to whinge and cry but the alternative was me shouting, bursting into tears, and having a hysterical fit. He is safe in the cot and I knew he was fed and changed, I just needed to get away for a few minutes to collect myself.

I felt like a bad mum the first time but friends with children all said self preservation is very important. If you neglect your needs you can't look after anyone else.

Can your other half take baby for a couple of hours this evening and maybe put him to bed so you have a jump on sleep before he wakes up?

Oh, I'm sorry Kitty - it sounds horrid. I hope that you managed to get a decent bit of kip after your last post.

Sleep deprivation is awful. Since having P, I've begun to understand why it's used as a form of torture! When we were having our completely awful period, I felt just like you. I kept telling DH that I couldn't carry on and was petrified that things wouldn't get any better. However things have improved since then and after a run of a few decent nights, I felt so much more positive about things and was able to enjoy P again. Things have been up and down since then but at least I now believe that the bad nights can't and won't last forever! Things will improve for you too - promise.

I don't have any experience of PND but I think Ali is right - it might be worth going to see a kindly GP at your practice. Even if it isn't PND, sometimes just talking things through with somebody who isn't directly involved can help loads.

And congratulations Cycle. What a fabulous birthday present! :)

Thanks ladies. Going to try the formula today also. Had his injections this am and he was a big brave boy.

Ps I've just befriended you all on fb, no offence will be taken if you don't accept

Hi ladies, again I've been away far too long
Have been mega busy sorting my uni application. I now have to wait and see if I get any interviews.
Will try and get back on here more often.
T is doing well, he had his first roast dinner yesterday (all be it in mush form lol), he loved it .

Hi Stuffed Good luck with the application!

Cycle congratulations! What a lovelyy birthday present.

Sassy hope you're getting some rest and feeling ok.

How is S doing post-jabs kitty? Hope he's ok and that you're ok too. Does sound like you're feeling very low and I agree with the others that maybe it'd be a good idea to talk to your GP or HV...if only just to get it out there that you're finding it tough. Sleep deprivation is a killer. A couple of weeks back when S was sleeping really badly and her reflux was at its worst I felt really down and I mentioned it to my GP. He gave me a list of support groups for mothers with PND in my area and offered to refer me for more support if I wanted. I didn't go to the groups but I did feel better just talking to someone other than DH about how I was feeling. It was good to hear the GP say that it's very common and nothing to feel ashamed of. I hope things get better for you soon. Big hugs.

Hi all, my dad is doing fine. It possibly wasn't a heart attack - he's getting a test today and should be home later this week. The main problem is boredom.
Mum was pleased to see M, though she had to deal with a baby tiredness meltdown when DH and I were hospital visiting on Friday night.
M slept brilliantly in the travel cot both nights but then we had an awful night last night back home .

What is the obsession with leaving baby to cry? My mum's suggested it a few times (at completely stupid times like when we've been eating) and a random aquaintance of Mums told me to do so on Saturday. I've never even met the woman before! Honestly, the next person that suggests it.... Sometimes I've had to let her cry a bit due to being in the shower or something. Want to do it on purpose? The whole idea just reminds me of the NSPCC ad with the baby who doesn't cry anymore because he knows no-one will come...

kitty I know you're tired but are you able to get out and about to meet other mums and babies? I think being able to discuss sleep problems and know you're not alone really helps.

Cycle lovely present :) We got married here with only 20 guests, but they also do smaller! :)

Hi Ladies!

Have been lurking again, not posting, sorry!

Kitty our boys have got the same idea at the moment - think they must have some sort of psychic connection (well they are birthday twins!).

T has spent approx 7 hours in his cot over the last 5 nights - a couple of hours before we go to bed (if we're lucky!) then he's in with us for the rest of the night. He's been feeding every 2-3 hours through the night since our holiday, when he would previously go 4-5 hours before his first feed in the night. He'll only go in his cot if he's soundly asleep - sometimes takes 20-30 mins of holding him til he's deep enough not to wake on transfer. I'd love to be able to put him down awake - any tips for teaching him to settle himself? Am wondering about putting him in his own room, but we both think we'd miss him (plus we agreed that we'd have him in with us til 6 months - nearly 2 months to go!) - aargh, what to do?

Congrats Cycle - post a piccie of the ring on FB!

T has been quite hard work since we returned from hols (Madeira - gorgeous, but extremely hilly!) - we think he had a growth spurt while we were there, plus lots of developmental thingies - started babbling, suddenly wants to be on his feet lots, etc. Also, poos are all over the place - he'll go two days then produce a poonami, then go 3 times the next day! Highly unpredictable! He seems to want lots of human contact at the moment, whereas he was previously happy to entertain himself in his baby gym for ages. Hopefully he'll grow out of it soon - there's no housework happening here at the moment!

We started aquababes last week, then were nearly banned for T being too young! In the end they've decided we can keep going, but the instructor doesn't seem too happy about it. I wouldn't mind, but he was with us when we booked the classes, and he's only on the 25th centile so shouldn't have looked older than he is! The instructor told us today that the pool is 'filthy', and that she wouldn't take a child under six months swimming. They also tried to tell us that babies under six months shouldn't swim because their ears aren't properly formed - presumably he shouldn't bath either then? Grrrr! He has the best nap of the week after swimming - don't want to lose out on that!

Sorry for not namechecking everyone, iPhone app makes checking back a nightmare - I'll have to start making notes on paper before I post! Also sorry for epic post!

chilli glad ur dad is ok. Fingers crossed for the results!

He's doing ok. Still having a nightmare getting him to nap in his cot. Good news Is he took formula after 5 minutes of tears and tantrums and has now gone past his three hours. Whoop. Thanks for all ur advice / support ladies. I'm getting s weighed tomorrow so will chat to the hv.

X-posts Chilli - glad your Dad's ok.

Tiny what a load of rubbish that instructor was spouting! L's been doing swimbabes since 13 weeks old and they had no problem with her at that age! Surely if they think the pools filthy they should do something about it!!!

mtt they sound exactly alike! I am trying the pick up put down method at the moment but it's not working brilliantly tbh. Couldn't get him in his cot at all earlier, it's better at nights. So frustrating, he used to sleep feed to feed. We were also away and s is chatty And always wants to be sitting up which he can't do yet or standing! Hopefully it won't last much longer for both of us!

It sounds like hugs and a squeeze are needed all round. Tbh the past few days I've been tempted to stick my head in the oven (an exaggeration on my part, but still, many a true word spoken in jest and all that). Ds2 behaviour has been getting increasingly worse as has baby i's sleeping. He goes down in the evening like a dream and stays that way for some hours, but fannys around in the early hours. Also I think the biggest problem for me is that he wakes at random times. You could set a clock with ds1&2 wakings, and this randomness is doing my body clock no good at all.

I is v close to sitting, so being a glass half full kind of person, I'm hoping that's the reason for the wonky nights. To think two weeks ago he started to sleep through 7-7 ........

Many congratulations Cycle. Dh and I got married with ten family members at the ceremony, then about fifty people came round for a BBQ/party after the ceremony. And tbh we only had the BBQ because dh wanted it. I would have been happy with just the ceremony. It was about getting married rather than a wedding day iyswim.

Now off to get I down for the night and then flop into an emotional mess on the sofa .......

Congratulations cycle I am patiently waiting for my lovely ring but don't think it'll be forthcoming anytime soon :( All my friends or DPs friends are getting engaged or married in the near future and he isn't one "to follow the crowds" his words not mine, so I can't see it happening for me until I'm about bloody 40 - not quite how I had planned!!!

Kitty I hope things start to get better for you soon. Your friend request was almost denied thanks to silly DP!!
DP: Umm, who is kittycatcat and why has she added me on facebook?
Me: She's someone from MN and yes I wonder how's she's managed to add you???
DP: Also who is so and so? She's sent me a game request??
Me: Errrmm are you logged on to your own page?
DP: Ohhhh no, I'm not!!
Fool he is!! :)

MumToTiny That's rubbish what the instructor at the pool was saying!! And agree that if they think the pools that dirty they should clean it!! We took R swimming on Saturday and after being fed, peeing out the side of her nappy and screaming a little bit, she eventually loved it!!

Chilli Hope your dads on the mend, my dad had a heart attack at 47 and has made a full recovery :) But I know what a stressful time it can be for you and your family.

Well R is now officially in her own room :( and :) waiting a little while before I take down her crib, can't quite bring myself to do it just yet. She slept 9-9 the first night and has managed about 9-6/7ish thereafter so fingers crossed it continues for a little while at least.
We are weaning proper now too, I know 6 months is the recommendation but I'm happy that she's ready and HV is happy with my decision. So have spent all afternoon puree-ing sweet potato, broccolli, cauliflower and carrot!! Will post first feeding pics to FB tomorrow!

Sorry not to name check everyone but have a tired baby ready for bath and bed so gotta go for now.

Unfortunately, there will be no ring piccies on FB as we're determined to keep it on the down low. It'll be one friend each, town hall walk on walk out. Very romantic I know.

Glad your dad is ok Chilli. it's so scary when parents are ill x

Congratulations Cycle Your wedding plan sounds like my in-laws wedding. They didn't invite anyone, they booked the first appointment of the day, got two people off the street to be witnesses and then went to work. This year they'll celebrate their 45th anniversary

I gave P some wallpaper paste babyrice today, she seemed to quite enjoy the eating experience, will move onto purees in the next few days

Lol at your DP mrsw

Last night was much better, still a way to go but a huge improvement;

Fed at 9
946-10-15
1023-0018
Fed at 1220
0052-0059
106-420
Fed at 425
451-555
602-720
Fed at 725

He guzzled his formula at 9 (6oz) and still wanted more so I had to give him boob too. Will give him more formula tonight. Dies anyone else give above the suggested amount?

Getting s weighed later

Kitty I always give Lucy boob on top of her formula feed so I guess that is over the suggested amount for one feed.

Kitty I don't think there's any harm in giving over the recommended amount if it's going to help settle S. I've known R to take 10ozs at a feed on occasion (unheard of usually) but I'm sure she just regulates it by taking less at other feeds, so the daily amount is still the same.
It's maybe already been suggested but have you tried giving S water overnight when he wakes? I think it's meant to help night wean them, as they don't like it as much as milk and therefore will stop waking for it if they think that's all they're getting. Not sure if you'd be keen to try it though incase he still refuses to go down until he has boob? Maybe when you're having a better few nights and feel a bit more rested. :)