Sept 08- The threenagers have arrived - Advanced negotiating and crowd control skills required

[DebiTheScot]

Sorry Meglet if you wanted to start the thread with your title but I thought I'd best do it while there was still one space to post the link to this one on the last one.

mrsa I will not bore you with the unmitigated horror that was my ds1's first few weeks of life, but I was devastated when bf didnt work for us too and felt a failure (ridiculous, I know)

With Toby I was more sanguine about it all and although I was sad it didnt work out again - albeit for very, very different reasons!! - it didnt upset me as much.

Some babies take to it like ducks to water. Some dont. If all mothers and babies found bf easy then FF wouldnt exist!!!

So, whilst I would have loved to bf and do believe in its benefits, I am very thankful for FF...it saved ds1's life (and my prem nephews life).

The mw and HV also couldnt tell me what was wrong with Tobys latch...perhaps there wasnt anything wrong and he was just a very very hungry baby who needed to feed 16 hours per day??? Who knows? But with another child to care for I couldnt do it. I take my hat off to those who can.

Please give yourself a break....your ds needs food and love. Thats it. He has the love, he just needs some food and you are giving him ff so thats taken care of too. Its really important in these early days not to let him get too weak or he will end up in hospital and that would be awful - I speak from experience

I also couldnt express...have no idea why...when I squeezed the milk literally shot across the room!!! and it leaked everywhere when toby was feeding but I tried 2 different types of pump and the most I ever got was 1oz.

I really hope these difficulties dont stop you from enjoying your new son. Sending lots of love x

MrsA listen to bec, she speaketh the sense!

Proud mummy moment, DS2 was filmed as baby Jesus for the on-line advent calendar for The York Schools and Youth Trust. There's a particularly nice close up of him if you watch the video on the top left 'window' :)

Try not to beat yourself up MrsA, as you know there's nothing wrong with ff and every drop of expressed milk he does get is great for him ( I think that sounds like a contradiction but it's not meant to be)

Awe sweet Carrie. I'll have a look later (am using laptop to play Christmas music to year 10s who are actually working and the video might cut through it and disturb them)

Bec how's the new house? Are you getting there with unpacking?

DS1 did a reading in his carol concert the other day, I was very proud as he read it really well.

They've both had bad coughs for weeks but last week I took ds2 to doc and he said he has a chest infection despite not having temp. The banana medicine cleared it and then ds1's cough got worse so took him and he's got it too! He didn't have a temp either. And I've heard of a few other kids round here with the same thing so there's obviously a strange bug going around.

I'm getting excited about tomorrow. It's my work department Christmas meal and my babysitter asked if she could have the boys for a sleepover so dh and I are staying in the hotel where the meal is .

ds1 is off with a cough atm debi

Dont ask re; house. Its a fecking nightmare! Oven and hob are crap - when I can actually get the hob to work that is! Boiler not powerful enough to provide hot bath water and worst of all the conservatory roof is leaking. I could cry. Honestly. I am starting to hate this house

Mrsa don't worry about the expressing. I can't express any and I have loads of milk. Keep trying (anything upto 6-8 times a day) as you will be stimulating your milk and therefore still making milk. Are you giving him formula in a bottle? If so he is getting used to milk coming fast and he might be too lazy(sorry) to work at getting the breastmilk. Again keep trying him on the breast as he may just one time start to suckle and be breastfeeding.

Bec sorry to hear about the house

robyn is off nursery today as she was sick this morning, she is off her food so we are waiting and seeing about tomorrow. I really need her to go so I can get the last of the gifts

mrsA Really sorry you're feeling crap at the moment. I had a shit time trying to get DS to bf, it was 3 miserable weeks before he latched on (I mixed ff and EBM in that time). By that point I'd had it and the whole newborn stage was ruined for me, looking back I wish I'd ff a lot sooner instead of turning it into a battle of wills. Please cut yourself some slack you've both been through a lot ((hugs)).

I had a super lovely day today. Saw the consultant for the follow up after my colonscopy, all results were fine, biopsies all clear . So now we are on to endoscopies, high strength anti-biotics and stool samples. . I need a digestive system transplant.

bec I'm sure you've checked but in case you haven't, did you check the water thermostat was whacked right up? Mine is down low so the kids don't get burnt but as a result it doesn't give me enough hot water for a bath. I do hope you get it all sorted out soon.

Thanks for all your amazingly supportive messages today. They, plus a long chat with my level headed sister has resulted in a much much better day.

He is now putting on weight and I am putting him to the breast as often as i can but with no pressure to feed - almost like kangeroo care. I am then expressing and then topping it up with formula. He is now looking much more healthy and has good nappies and has put on 50g.

Given my lactation consultant said there was not much she could do to help as i was doing everything right (except wear a device on my breast that enabled the formula to flow from my breast when DS latched on, which sounded a bit limiting), I feel happy that I have tried everything and even if I end up bf DS for comfort rather than calories, i am now happy and can start to plan xmas trips out with DD etc. If he got distressed out and about, I feel I am almost confident enough to try to comfort him by bf. I am hoping that as he gets heavier and healthier his suck and latch get better.

Tonight, he actually latched on and fed for 30 mins - he was still very hungry afterwards so i suspect he is not getting the calorie high hind milk but just getting a drink.

For us, mixed feeding works. And thank you for your comments - it's been so helpful.

MrsA that sounds really encouraging. I know it was a while before M fed properly. I had a strong let down and would basically flood her I think!

Have you tried using an electric pump? The hospital may be able to lend you a dual electric one, you feel a bit like a cow using it but for me it really worked well. It meant I could collect nearly twice the amount of milk in a shorter time and have a hand free!

Bec so sorry to hear about the house, hopefully all fixable :(

Meglet I think that's all good news, still not sure if you're being a bit sarcastic about the super lovely day

Hello all.

Having a really bad day(s) atm.

House is a nightmare - dh is doing nothing to help me get things sorted and I have had to cancel a trip to london this weekend that I have been looking forward to for months so I can be here to deal with the emergency plumber/upvc people etc

AIBU ladies???

We have been in the house 2 weeks - in which time I have had a nasty fall down the stairs and badly hurt both my feet/toes which has meant not much walking and no driving. (they are getting better btw but still very sore)

We still have no hot water upstairs, hob doesnt work properly so I cant cook and the roof in the conservatory (our dining room) is leaking so we cant use it.

I have been on the phone/net trying to find people to come out and sort it but the guys dh wanted to use have been useless and have let us down so am giving up with them. Am resigned it wont get sorted til after xmas now so that means the boxing day party will have to be cancelled.

I literally begged him last night to phone the plumber -which he did after I shouted at him - and he is coming out either today or monday....I am so sick of doing everything on my own...spent most of yesterday clearing out the room so have hurt my back again too.

Have done everything for xmas....presents, wrapping, cards, food, etc dh has done nothing, including get me any gifts...he will despatch his mum into town next week no doubt.

Am feeling very let down, very angry and really sad. I cant even stand being in the same room as him atm.

Please come and give me a kick up the arse! I need to stop feeling like this, I hate it

I am the threadkiller!

Fear me!!....

No you're not Bec Everyone is putting on their big boots and taking aim
I know what it's like to get really excited about the new house and then realise things aren't quite as good as the last place. DH needs talking to, most men stick their head in the sand when things go wrong, DP is awful for it, then he wonders why I am panicking.

Robyn is finally better but Lucy has it now. I am sick of washing puked on clothes and washing out their hair. DP is off out tonight so I am praying for a puke-free night

ninja It was a bit sarcastic, pleased about not having cancer but not looking forward to more poking and prodding!

Oh bec that's rubbish, and you are not the one who needs the kick up the arse. I remember showing people round our first house and pointing out all the things that were wrong and getting really stressed by it, but you soon sort the things that need sorting and stop noticing the rest, I promise. This is from someone who's lived with an avocado bathroom suite with shiny pink tiles for over two years now!
We're still having builder nightmares, but DH is so overworked that its nowhere near the top of his to-do list to try and sort the small claims case. Could be worse, my pregnant friend is suing her builders for ruining her house (one of many disasters was putting their foot through the ceiling into their toddler's room while doing the loft conversion).
We put our tree up this morning and DH and the kids have gone to deliver Christmas cards to all the neighbours.

Hi all

Spent most of the afternoon with my mum at the local walk in centre...she has a bad water infection but the main issue is a bowel prolapse

Ds1 and now ds2 have got coughs/colds so no doubt I am next.

Guys came out to look at conservatory again - hope its sorted this time - £200 later

Plumber rang....the parts and labour to try and fox boiler is £500. If it doesnt work its a case of taking it apart and putting it back together again - which we cant do til spring as cant be without heat and water

Sigh.

Oh, well.

Put up xmas decs with dc. Put xmas music on too. Never felt less festive

Have decided to spend xmas completely off my face....that should help

bec yes, get wasted all Xmas . Time flies when you're tiddly!

House problems seem far worse in the winter months. Hard to get hold of workmen, money spent on Xmas, can't just chuck open the doors and windows and get things done easily.

Oh Bec what a horrible time of year to have these problems - we had boiler problems last year and were without heat on a few occasions for days so I sympathise, but to have to sort out the other stuff as well :(

Just put M's kitchen together, it's now hiding under a sheet so I hope she doesn't notice.

Anyone else had snow today? ExH took the kids sledging, I was sad to miss it in a way but enjoyed the peace to get some Christmas stuff sorted!

Going to see Charlie and Lola tomorrow :)

Meg I guessed that was the case, although I could see there was reason to be a bit positive.

Thanks

As predicted, toby is now full of snot and coughing. sigh.

Hugs Bec, hope you get at least some of the house stuff sorted before the end of the week.
On a much smaller scale than your problems we're waiting for our roof to get fixed. The builder keeps turning up first thing, declaring it's too icy or snowy then disappearing again. Erm duh it's December, come back in a couple of hours once the sun has shone on it for a bit.

Ds2 has had 2 dry nappies in the morning in 3 days. Ds1 is a bit upset as he hasn't!

Many hugs bec - all the things a new house needs fixing always seem so much worse when it's dark and cold. Can you spend the next week or two with blankets, telly, hot chocolate and ready meals?

I am now officially on maternity leave and a lot more relaxed - though have lots of admin to sort out as have essentially been off sick since June with the odd few days working from home ploughing through emails. Last week ended up spending most of a day in hospital with what they decided was simply a stomach bug, but I have stupid amounts of appts booked for the next 2 weeks (5 between 21st and 29th Dec at the hospital!), all checking that minorish things don't become major or they are aware if they do. Nothing hugely serious or life-threatening or anything but bloody tedious!

On the plus side, the large bedroom is nearly done, despite the ceiling falling in and needing new plaster cornices made etc. MrNC was up until 3am a couple nights doing carpentery (thankfully, A still sleeps through circular saws and drilling...), and then painters were here all weekend. We were looking forward finally to a couply night except the painter was here until 10pm! Carpet has just arrived so should all be ready for the ILs sometime this week, but it's been a bit hectic.

I'm hoping to actually get to a friend's Christmas meal tonight as have had to cancel all arrangements for months. I haven't been to central London since July!

Glad things are going better MrsA. Have to admit I'm now getting a bit nervous...only 9 weeks ish to go...

NC You read my mind!

Sorry to hear you have been so ill Only 9 weeks to go???? Wow!

Plumber coming on thursday and we are hoping to paint the conservatory and put the furniture back tomorrow so fingers crossed.

Think the past year and all its stresses/strains have finally taken their toll tbh Got some sort of pustule/boil on my inner thigh and am coming down with a virus that the boys have. On the plus side, I can walk now but toes are still very sore. Back is still buggered too. Oh well.

Me and dc have made an xmas cake - my first ever! - and it looks ok!!!! Am taking it to MILs as we are going there for xmas day and they all like fruit cake.

On the minus side, fridge is dead and both manufacturers and seller refuse to replace it as our kitchen is too cold so it's not supposed to work. Did they mention that when selling it? Course not.
Guy is coming to repair it on Thursday- after I looked up cost of new fridge and found no fridge in the UK is 'supposed' to work below 16degC. Apparently this is responsible for 15% of callouts and most of the abuse of fridge repairers... Hopefully around this time next year we'll be about to get a new kitchen.

All the cordless phones have also died for extra amusement value. And my laptop won't charge! MrNC has just put up the new light for my room and found no bulbs are included, so need to buy them too.

I'm trying not to actually think about having a baby until the New Year - though every time she tries to kick her way out I have to remind her that just because I was born at her age doesn't mean it's a good idea! MWs did assure me there is no way she can kick her way out...

It really does feel like thats what they are trying to do sometimes, doesnt it??

Sorry to hear about the fridge and dont want to get into a white goods breakdown contest BUT in the last 6 months we have had to replace the following:
hoover
microwave
iron
washing machine
tumble dryer
hob
fridge

Its ridiculous!!!

nc I'm having techno hassles too,

Cordless phones - almost knackered. Must get some more in the new year.
Laptop - seriously ill. Fan on all the time, getting slow. Will sort it over xmas (hopefully).
Sat nav - must update for new roads (it's 5yrs old) but I'm scared I'll crash the laptop if I stick the sat nav card in. The current sat nav freaks and thinks I'm off roading when we go on a new road. "TURN AROUND WHERE POSSIBLE!!!". We have got lost a couple of times because of it .

bec well done for making an Xmas cake! I've never been brave enough.

We've had a lot of things go on the blink too, I reckon white goods have an age they can't go beyond. We found once we'd been married about 7 years all the stuff we'd been given as wedding gifts went wrong all at once, it made for an expensive few months.

bec we're all so :( the house is causing you so much extra stress.

NC 9 weeks EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK! so excited for you

Potty training DS1 is not going well. He's been in pants at his own request for two weeks now, happily goes when sent but today I was really good at not sending him, just saying "can you remember where the potty is if you need it?". He took himself for a poo but had 3 sets of wet pants and trousers over the course of the day. . Someone pass the and tell me how to connect my children's bladders to their brains please. 4yo DD had two pairs of wet pants today which is about normal for her